My brother is a renowned liar, manipulator, and abuser. He was once friends with my boyfriend, but my boyfriend got upset with how trashy my bro acts when he is using, and they had a falling out several years ago. At multiple points in my relationship with bf, brother has made false claims to try to make me break up with bf (i.e. he's addicted to porn, goes to strip clubs, etc.) All his lies did not add up or make sense timewise, so I ignored it. Like he'd say my bf was at strip club on night when I was with bf.
More recently, my bro made accusation that my bf was cheating on me with his friend's little sister. My bro was using meth at this time. He text me this, and I came over to my family house where he stays, banged on his door, and demanded he give me details.
My brother suddenly got mopey and said "Well youre not gonna believe me anyways. No one ever believes me. So I'm not going to tell you, and let you keep living your fucked up life."
I got pissed and just told him to fuck off.
I told my boyfriend about it. Asked him if it was true. My boyfriend looked at me with the most genuinely saddened/pissed off combo eyes that he's ever given me. And said "Your brother is fucking liar and so is the girl's older brother. Don't listen to them."
While that was reassuring, the thought still lingers. I talk to my boyfriend and see him almost daily. Within his schedule, there would just be no time to cheat. He works full time, goes to school, and on his off time he's almost always with me. Give or take a few times when he hangs with his bros or has family events that I can't make it to.
How do I objectively get to the bottom of this? The things my brother said, I feel like he was just manipulating me to think that bf is cheating on me, but it's still getting to me.
>>17215290
Also, my mom got involved in this, and trusts my brother more (she is also in denial about his addictions). So she also believes my brother more than my boyfriend. Which is really tearing me apart, because emotionally/instinctively I want to believe my family, but my brother has lied so many times that I also don't.
Thoughts of doubt will always linger. Did I turn the oven off? Was the email sent to the right address? Does this make me look fat?
From what you've said and how his schedule sounds, I really doubt that he is cheating on you. I'd do some research into this supposed other woman though, if you really want to be sure.
But if your brother is using then tells you something, take it with a grain of salt. People say a lot of weird shit when fucked up.
>>17215298
The girl is almost off grid. She has a facebook, but never goes on. She's in a relationship for several years, and has a child with her boyfriend. But, I know she has a thing for my boyfriend. We went to high school together.
>>17215301
Hm, that's a tough one.
Has he EVER lied to you? Ever given you a reason to doubt him?
>>17215310
In the dating period of our relationship, I found out he was talking to and being flirtacious with an ex LDR when we were supposed to be exclusively dating. This was over 5 years ago though. While it wasn't set in stone that we were exclusive, it still hurt at the time and I questioned breaking up with him over it. But he sincerely apologized and said he'd delete her from phone and social media, and he did.
Nothing like that ever happened again.
>>17215316
I mean, we never said we were exclusive at that time, but I had thought it was implied...
>>17215301
Also, with this, as far as I know, she's a shut in. She lives like within a mile of my family home. We're in a small town, and I have never ever seen her since high school. It's been years.
>>17215323
I can't say for a fact on anything because:
1. I'm some weird fuck on a board
2. I don't know the guy
3. I only have what you're saying - Not that there's anything wrong with that.
But I honestly thing he's being faithful to you and that he wouldn't do such a thing. The guy sounds like he's committed to you. I don't know all the details about your relationship, and how things were 5 years ago, but it could be that maybe you were still a little nervous and weren't coming off as serious as you'd like.
Just something to ponder. How far away does he live from you?
>>17215327
My bf and I used to live in the same town. Now I only live less than ten miles away because I got my own apartment. It doesn't get in the way since I work in my hometown and we go to the same college, so we see each other a lot.
>>17215341
How serious are things between you? Obviously not some fling, since it's been at least five years yeah?
>>17215345
Yea, a little over 5 years. Pretty serious. We're planning to move into a place when we finish school. Which is not too far.
I'd suggest moving in with each other now if you're both ready for it and think you could get it done. But that's probably a bit much.
I seriously doubt he's cheating on you. But I'm just one guy, it may help to get a second opinion or three.
Can you ask any friends for help? Like, having them casually creep around and watch things?
>>17215356
I'm pretty sure he isn't too. This whole thing has been confusing, and asking for more info from my bf feels like it would sound like I'm really insecure over the thing. I just want more objective answers.
I'm friends with all of my boyfriend's friends. I don't think they would creep on my bf for me though because that sounds like trouble. I have one friend who is friends with my brother and my bf, and he lets me know how much my brother has been using or anything bad, but I'm pretty sure it would rub him the wrong way to ask if my bf is cheating. He tells me my boyfriend talks about me all the time, and always good things. All my boyfriend's friends include me and are super nice. I'd tend to think that they wouldn't act that way of us if they knew he was cheating on me.
So I think I may go with my majority feeling and trust that he isn't cheating.
>>17215366
Sounds fine then!
You've probably got nothing to worry about, all of those sound like good signs to me.
