Previous thread got archived by accident, kind of felt bad considering whoever I was talking to never got a chance to reply. So anon, hopefully you see this and if you had something more to add, I'll be here. I'll use the same image as last time.
>>17208757
Hey dude, I'm guessing you're referring to me. I replied, but perhaps you mean someone else. I'm the anon who wrote that I appreciated the thread and could relate to the alienation aspect.
>>17214996
Yeah that's you, I saw your larger post and wrote another one back. Didn't know if you got a chance to read it/say something before the thread died.
>>17214808
>>17214996
Ah, found your reply. Thanks for that.
Your words are pretty much the same advice as I would've given any swinging dick. I know all this, and I'm not really miserable, to tell the truth. The thing is, I'm too familiar and content with being in stagnation. It's been going on for so long, it's become almost a defining characteristic.
It's like I'm waiting for everything to hit the fan, before I begin to really build my life up again, but it never does. The fan doesn't exist. Perhaps I just got some weird guilt from being born in one of the most prosperous nations on Earth, and i know that no matter how much dept I get into, I won't get locked away. I've gotten apathetic about my whole situation, like there's nothing to fight for. At the same time I know there is, precisely because of what you were writing in the previous thread. It's my time on Earth. It's the choice not to look back forty years from now with regret.
The funny thing is that I've been preoccupied with 'positive thinking' for many years, but instead of reaching for greatness, I'm comfortably numb with sitting in acceptance, and I don't neccesarily see anything wrong with it, and I often describe it as being Zen. Reaching for greatness is another way of saying 'wanting more', which I think is rooted in a capitalist delusion. I really just want to make art and be left alone, and I fucking hate that money is a thing, even though I know it can be a powerful tool. I guess I'm just conflicted about making money from my art, and just haven't realised it yet, since I've been selling my paintings for 13 some years. Creating works of art that people liked was always too easy for me, and I was uncomfortable with praise.
Pic related, it's the type of painting I used to make 9 years ago, when I still wanted people to want to buy my shit
>>17215071
You're welcome, and it's beautiful.
As for your Zen-ness, that's actually a remarkably healthy outlook. I wasn't really referring exclusively to your career though when I was talking about "you're free to do literally whatever you want". If you really are happy with your current situation, then by all means don't let me stop you. But there's just so much out there left to experience, and if all that's standing in your way is debt, it seems like a shame to just stagnate in it. Travel the world, try shrooms, break into an abandoned building for a night and document it. Go kayaking or canoeing in the wilderness for a week. Don't reach for greatness, just do what will make you happiest.
If you're uncomfortable with praise, then don't take it seriously. Pretend to be grateful, and ignore it, make excuses for yourself to explain away why they might be telling you they like your work. And don't make art that you think other people will like, make the stuff you want to make. Make it for fun, make so much that you don't know what to do with all of it, then sell it when you want to. If you're not doing it for anyone but yourself, and you put a piece of yourself into it, then maybe other people telling you it's good might not feel so weird.
Again, if you're happy with where you are, then you're free to stay that way. It just seems to me that it would be relatively easy for you to get so much more out of life than you currently do.
>>17215130
10/10 response, familiar. Thanks a lot, you're spot on.
In need people like you to ask me what the hell am I waiting for.
>>17215210
You're welcome, again. Glad I could be so much help, and good luck.
