I haven't felt like my wife has been attracted to me for a very long time. Sex seems like a routine thing for her, but she never seems to ever really want it or me. I exercise and try to stay in as good a shape as possible but it doesn't seem to matter. When I bring it up she says she thinks I'm sexy etc etc. But her actions just don't seem to match her words.
A friend started hitting on me recently and I've been flirting back pretty hard. It's just so nice to feel like someone wants me. But then I feel guilty. What should I do?
pic related, seems like the obvious solution
Stop flirting and go to a strip club. If it keeps on going on you might fuck that girl. Strip club will kill most of your demons. You most likely have dropped the ball on Wooing your woman. Go see a musical and all that. Do the disheses. Ask her about her day. Remmber stupid shit.
>>17213979
is your wife depressed? given birth recently? female hormones go up and down throughout their lives she might just be having a rough patch, things can change but do not cheat on her you will lose everything.
>>17214015
When I say a long time, I mean for the last five years. She did have two kids in that time, and doesn't seem to show any clinical signs of depression. She had a little patch after the first kid. But she's back in great in shape, active, spends time with friends etc.
>>17213979
Try upping your sexual game with your wife before risking hurting your kids.
It's very difficult to have sex without an erection. Make sure your penis is hard before penetration. It's almost impossible to fuck a woman with a soft dick.
That's one idea.
>>17214037
Dammit I thought I was doing something wrong...
The sex itself isn't the problem. Once we get to that point we both seem to have a pretty good time. But getting to that point can involve intense dealing that lasts days. And once she gets her fill she's like a sexual camel.
>>17214058
She might just have a low sex drive. She started any medications recently? Also, she might be hiding it. I was pretty depressed but relatively active and "normal" for a few years before I finally burnt out and couldn't keep up the charade anymore.
>>17214037
>Try upping your sexual game with your wife before risking hurting your kids.
This.
Have you tried surprising your wife with some fancy new sex toys? The Womanizer is a great starting toy. It's quite expensive but it works like hell and the design isn't too scary for newbies. Defenitely worth the cost if it helps fix your sex life.
http://www.womanizer.ca/
There's also a newer model out but it's not featured on their own fucking website for some retarded reason.
>>17214058
>sexual camel
She lets Arabs ride her across the desert while decapitating infidels with dual wielding scimitars?
>>17214024
when was the last time she gave birth? womens bodies can take 1-2 years to regain a healthy sex drive after having a child, this is to prevent future pregnancy to ensure the current child is being taken care of.
>>17214067
I've asked and she said no. She could be and hiding it really well but I don't know how else I could figure it out.
The low sex drive seems to make the most sense. She stopped taking birth control five years ago, but when she was on that there was no sex at all.
>>17214068
I haven't. I suppose we could pay a visit to an adult store.
>>17214070
...do other wives not do that?
>>17214092
Most recently a year. But there was a 3 year gap from the first kid and the frequency is the exact same.
>>17214094
>I haven't. I suppose we could pay a visit to an adult store.
No, order it yourself without telling her. The next time you're having sex, surprise her with it mid way. She is gonna love it AND you for being spontaneous. Women love (pleasant) surprises!
>>17214107
Stop oppressing her with your cisgendered heteronormative unempowering sexual oppression. Women aren't objects for your pleasure.
>>17214137
While I'm 90% sure you're trolling, you're right. She doesn't exist solely for my pleasure. But if I'm unhappy in this relationship I have a right to leave a find a relationship that does make me happy.
>>17214148
you idiot, you have kids now. being selfish is not an option any more.
work on your relationship with her, ask her what's up and tell her your honest feelings, and make it WORK. you only walk out if everything else fails and she turns out to be a horrible wife.
>>17214094
>She stopped taking birth control five years ago, but when she was on that there was no sex at all.
Oh, it's more than likely her hormones, then. Hormones affect a lot, and she probably just doesn't have the sex drive, especially with the change between birth control. Also, childbirth can very much ruin a woman's sex drive, for a very long time, or even permanently. It's very taxing on the body.
Are you making sure you please her during sex, or are you just getting a nut and it's a chore for her? Make sure you're doing your part, too.
>>17214068
I wouldn't get the womanizer if she's not used to sex toys. It's a bit weird looking. Get her a we vibe tango, or touch. That's a very basic, quality vibe.
While you're at it, talk to her. Tell her how you feel. At least do that before you cheat on her with a random woman.
>>17214161
This.
You're upset she's not hoping on your dick after she more than likely has a hormonal imbalance? You have a child. Relationships are work. You can't think in the terms of a college freshman who jumps between relationships after the honeymoon period is over. Unless she's abusing you, I don't understand why you would leave your wife and mother of your child over some random flirt or because she's probably dealing with biological issues. That seems very unfair to her and your child.
>>17214161
I intend to put every effort into fix this. But in the end I deserve to have a chance to find happiness. I'm going to suggest we find a therapist and see if we can find one that focuses on sexual health.
>>17214164
I usually start off by going down on her. I get her off that way before we move onto anything else. I do my best to ask what position she wants, where she wants to be touched, etc.
itt people who have never been in long term relationships try to pretend they have any insight into them
>>17214180
I like how you brush off the fact that I've felted unwanted for the last five years of my marriage like it's nothing. Do you know what it's like to not feel loved or wanted? I've been with her ten years, moved across the country for her, worked multiple jobs so she could stay home with our kids. So fuck your judgemental attitude.
Women are not proactive. They're reactive. That's just the way it is, bub.
>>17214189
dude don't even sweat it
these kids have probably never even had girlfriends, of course they're gonna get a morally righteous hard-on over the fact that you have needs too
>>17214189
not that anon but on second thought, why not just divorce her like right now? holy shit how does the man who put the fucking ring on the finger of his wife, exchange his vows, and agree to build a family with her be complaining about what was the inevitable?
you thought the marriage would be perfectly peachy 24/7? you're acting like the irrational woman of the relationship. the fact that you let this slide for 5 years is YOUR fault for YOUR lack of communication and expressing your needs.
>>17214196
I can't imagine not being with my wife. She's supported me so much and literally saved my life. I'm just so tired and frustrated with feeling like this. I know what I need to do though. Start with an honest discussion about how I feel, look into the therapy, and try some new things in bed.
>>17214205
and for fuck's sake, cut it off with the other woman.
>>17214183
>I usually start off by going down on her. I get her off that way before we move onto anything else. I do my best to ask what position she wants, where she wants to be touched, etc.
You sound very submissive in bed. That might be the issue here. Sometimes women just want it rough
>>17214229
holy shit this. i get that my boyfriend wants to make sure we fuck in some positions that i really want, but i'd rather him have a gameplan than him pausing to be like "now what?" man i don't know, just fuck me
>>17214235
A wise friend of mine once told me "whenever I fuck my gf I always try to do something new." It doesn't have to be something huge like a new sex toy or getting pegged or bondage or whatever, just a different variation of a position you enjoy, or a different pace of action. Don't go too softcore or total jackhammer all the time. Variation and experimentation are both key to a healthy sex life, trust me.
>>17214193
>>17214229
This. Even sometimes when I'm tired and feel like I don't want sex, I immediately get in the mood when my boyfriend starts fondling me (obviously this doesn't apply if I'm in pain or something). Maybe try being more aggressive? Find the balance between aggressive yet conscious of her needs, that's the key to being good in bed.
