>live on my own, alone
>don't actively try to get a gf or anything
>like being on my own, living my own life
suddenly:
>qt 3.14 from my childhood contacts me
>apparently she still likes me, even more now than ever
>she's basically obsessed with me, thinks I'm the shit
>has high expectations from me
>lives in another country though
>with a very strict father that doesn't let her do anything
>she's not infected with degeneracy
>she's still a virgin
>cute and very smart
and then I realize:
>I was actually without worry, without care, living my life on my own, alone and only for myself
>now I care about how I come across to other people (her)
>now things are expected of me, I have to meet certain expectations since she basically idolizes me
>now I actually care and worry about shit
>now life isn't boring and calm
>now there's a potential for disaster and hurt feelings
fucking why?
I thought that if/when I could get a cute, sexy and smart girl like that, that I would actually want a gf. But actually I rather be on my own again, without any people in my life, without worry, without caring about and for others.
what do? she wants to meet me in this other country for a Holiday for a week (get plane tickets and hotel and shit). I convinced her that I could only stay a couple of days (2 or 3) just to make it be over fast.
Is there really something wrong with me? or is it stupid to be gullible enough to think that you can be happy with someone else instead of on your own, and think that you can get away with it without it ending in a tragedy of some sort?
>>17201937
Performance anxiety. Relax.
>>17201971
got any advice or something? how do I relax? I have zero experience with these things
>>17202012
My only advice is, what would you rather have at this point in your life? Obligations, potential fun, potential connection with a live human, sex or your safe, comfortable, predictable life?
>>17202012
Just think about how the comfort of having some to care about and who reciprocates those feelings outweighs even the pain of loss.
Because that is precisely what happened when I found my girlfriend. Thought I was a forever alone, had expected and even wanted it, and then my world flipped on it's head.
Been a very happy 8 years too.
>>17202027
I don't know, my life as is now, is all I've known. Even when I was a kid, I was on my own, without any help/guidance from any parent. I haven't had the other option to even know if I want it.
>>17202060
Perhaps it is time to step out your comfort zone and try new things. Who knows, you might like it.
>>17202036
do you have any advice? general rookie mistakes to avoid making? I have experienced a lot of shit in life, and I know my way around the world, except for this area. I've had many female friends, but that's as far as I've ever been. I don't even know how to go from that level to the level higher.
>>17202069
yeah I guess so
Dude, I'm the exact way. I just recently started dating a girl and I hope I don't regret it. I was perfectly happy on my own but she liked me so I decided to go for it
If things work out, you better wife her, anon.
t. A forever alone faggot.
>>17202076
Don't take it so seriously. Don't forget she's not even in the same town as you. What are you gonna do, fly her over to live with you?
Nah, you go and get to know her. Have some fun, take her out somwhere. Just roll with it, and don't put her on a pedestal.
>>17202280
thanks anon. I already quit putting women on a pedestal (and just not bothering anymore), but since I know her from my childhood, I guess I got caught off guard. I'll try to keep my head cool.
>>17202291
Good, just don't get caught up in the fantasy which she is almost guaranteed to bombard you with. You aren't going to import her to live with you. Her dad most likely isn't going to let her. Etc etc, way too many logistical problems. I don't mean to be pessimistic but you have to keep it real or you'll get sucked into her emotions.
Other than that just treat it like visiting a long lost friend.
>>17202302
>>17202468
Was meant for you, fucking phone.
>>17202468
thanks anon. There is a chance that she's desperate enough to use me to get a "greencard" or something, to leave her father/country behind (because I know for sure she wants to leave that place, and she was even considering getting married to this australian dude just to gtfo. back then, she asked for my advice, and I told her to do it if it was her only option, and then dump the guy if she didn't like him, but back then, a couple years ago, she was fine just talking to me now and then, and now she really wants to meet me and stuff).
How do I make sure I don't get used? I mean there's also a chance that she's legit, but how will I know?
>>17202507
Dude that sounds suspiscious as fuck now, she has a history of it and you want to give her a chance?
You wont know the truth until it's too late. Personally I'd brace myself to be bombarded with lies, and keep reminding myself that she has an agenda. She only has a chance to manipulate you if you give her that chance.
>>17202553
well, that was just one time, and her mother was behind it. then she came asking me for advice. =
You're right though, I don't know what to think now. She is fucking great though, she's studying aerospace engineering. She wants to use her education to get a job abroad (here).
fuck me.... I decided to check out her instagram... she's way out of my fucking league. if she ever gets here, she can get any guy she wants. fuck, I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
>>17202572
>well, that was just one time
Dude she's already got you, once is too many, don't make excuses for her.
>she is fucking great though
Ofcourse she is, that's the bait.
>She wants to use her education to get a job abroad (here).
How convenient.
You sound like an alright dude, so I'll be blunt.
She's obviously gone through her list of candidates and has finally arrived at you. She's hoping that you're sad, lonely and gullible enough to fall for the ploy.
I don't buy the whole she's been in love with you since forever bullshit. She's laying it on hard and you're falling for it.
Like I said, don't even consider her as a potential gf. You best be on your guard dude.
>>17202640
>she's hoping you're sad, lonely and gullible enough
>she's way out of my fucking league
Way to prove my point.
Anyway I'm out, make of it what you will.
>>17202653
>>17202642
thanks dude. I needed a call back to reality. fuck me, I wish I was just invisible to all women so I didn't have to deal with this shit.
How about when I meet her, I act like I don't give a shit, and just tell her: listen, if you want me to help you get out, I will, but I don't need a relationship or anything with you. so she thinks I'm not interested and takes the bait, so I can be sure and fucking dump her ass?
