Obsessive thoughts about boyfriend cheating

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Anonymous
Obsessive thoughts about boyfriend cheating 2016-05-29 13:47:55 Post No. 17195812
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Obsessive thoughts about boyfriend cheating Anonymous 2016-05-29 13:47:55 Post No. 17195812 [Report]

How do I stop acting crazy in a relationship?
Before reading anything else, know that I'm not like this for no good reason. Every boyfriend I have had has broken my trust, And then i become like this. The current one has lied to me about porn, nudes of exes, talking to his ex.
Whenever I start seriously dating someone, I get so worried about what they're doing when I'm not around.
What if he's flirting with other girls? Watching porn? Doing drugs or drinking to the point of not controlling himself? I think about the endless number of horrible, deceitful things he could lie to me about when I'm not home.
Just thinking of all the things my boyfriend could do when I'm not around makes me anxious. I don't normally bring up how I feel about any of this to him, so it's just building up inside of me.
TL;dr
> Bf betrayed my trust
> Obsessive thoughts about bad things he could lie to me about
> How do I stop these thoughts? They consume my thoughts and make me have nightmares about him cheating on me.

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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:11:22 Post No.17195850
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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:11:22 Post No.17195850 [Report]

I'm not an expert, but I feel that this a "you" problem.

I feel that you aren't happy/confident with yourself and thus need your boyfriend to be with for most of the time.

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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:12:47 Post No.17195853
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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:12:47 Post No.17195853 [Report]

Take some time apart. Immediately. If that means break up, so be it. If not for your own sake, than do it for his. You need to get your head together, and until you do, you are incapable of contributing towards a healthy relationship.

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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:14:46 Post No.17195857
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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:14:46 Post No.17195857 [Report]

See a therapist; make sure they're trained in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). It's immensely helpful.

Also,
> lied to me about porn, nudes of exes, talking to his ex.

I would have dumped him a long time ago. He is almost certainly cheating on you or will cheat on you. Your paranoia seems to be founded on reality here; not paranoia at all. It's your brain trying to tell you he's fucking other women.

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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:19:28 Post No.17195872
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Anonymous 2016-05-29 14:19:28 Post No.17195872 [Report]

>>17195857
Agree with this.

All three of those things should be non-issue, except when he feels the need to lie. Porn may be embarrassment, but women who have nudes of exes have never hidden the fact from me, and talking to an ex should be completely non-issue if it's not a big deal.