Hey Adv recently i've made peace with my BPD ex and I can say we are sorta friends now? but she keeps on telling me that she's getting married soon to her bf and I keep telling her that's good with a plain reaction. she also told me she's going to a psychiatrist soon I told her she had BPD like two years ago so hopefully she means it.
I've only known her to be BPD does anyone else have experience with BPD women to tell me what her game is and if she is what to do next
Why the fuck does it matter to you what she does next? You sound like you're still in love with this bitch. I think the problem is with you, you gotta let go, this bitch is getting married and you're still trying to figure out her problems. Move on
>>17193066
yes those of us who've experienced BPD relationships have trauma so I'm just trying to get answers to her behavior
>>17193066
What he said.
>>17193076
Best thing you can do for your trauma is to move on, you keep dwelling on this, you'll be stuck in this zero sum game. You won't win her back and you won't improve yourself but trying to figure her out. Go out there and find a girl who's more sane, you don't need to deal with this
>>17193079
Like I said I have Trauma. I need answers
>>17193086
Thank you. It's just hard since I see her all the time. if anyone here has been with a BPD you know they are demons but you become addicted to them even though you know they are evil
>>17193093
You don't need answers, you need a therapist. You don't deserve what she put you through, don't think about this anymore if you can, go find a therapist
>>17193088
"I have trauma" doesn't give you carte blanche to ignore our advice (I mean, you could've done that anyway, but it's not a good excuse.) If you're seriously traumatized from your relationship with her, then seek professional help; do some asking around and find a good therapist. Your GP might be able to point you in more-or-less the right direction if you're totally lost.
Either way, you need to move on. Don't think about her. As far as you're concerned, she has no "game" and her future is her business and not something you should be involved in -- at all. Feel free to wish her a Merry Christmas or a Happy Birthday and maybe briefly catch up every now and then, but DO NOT MAKE HER A MAJOR PART OF YOUR LIFE AGAIN.
People with BPD are toxic. I'm sorry to be harsh, but that's just how it is. You do not want that kind of poison back in your life. You're lucky to be out of it.
>>17193093
Fuck NO.
They can fuck you over once. ONCE. NO MORE.
Then you have to learn that it's not the disorder, but it's them, and cut them off.
You know how the meme goes, that BPD is incurable? It's false. It's 100% curable, right into full sanity... it takes just 1 step
>the BPD sufferer HAS to renounce his addiction to drama and rage
but the vast majority of them won't. It's a consious decision, that's on them. They're evil little shits, and want to stay that way.
>>17193138
>>17193113
You Guys are right, it's hard. I did the whole "writing letters you won't send" and I felt better for a bit.
I have no GP though aged out of pediatrics and haven't had a doc since then
>>17193181
Find one, then. Just for your overall health, dude! Getting regular checkups is actually important.
wrt this thread, just stay strong, dude. Every week is gonna be easier than the last, and if it's too hard to stay casual friends with her then don't feel bad about saying "I'm sorry, I just can't have you in my life right now." Don't let her guilt you if her presence is bad for you.
>>17193066
This, she's not trying to make you jealous. You still have feelings for her, so you think she's trying to make you jealous because part of you probably wants to believe that she is still in love with you.
>>17193295
So just tell her to go away? because she was gonna make cupcakes for me.
>>17193304
But if she keeps mentioning it out of the blue. wouldn't it make sense to think that?
>>17193060
>she also told me she's going to a psychiatrist soon I told her she had BPD like two years ago
So she hasn't been diagnosed with bi-polar by a doctor you just told her she was bi-polar? If thats true you're an idiot.
>I've only known her to be BPD does anyone else have experience with BPD women to tell me what her game is and if she is what to do next
There is no "game" to mental illness you twit. She's sick. Sick people do things that don't make sense.
If she wasn't sick, none of this would even be an issue. That doesn't absolve her of all responsibility for her actions but it most certainly negates a lot of the pettiness you're attaching to this.
If you want to remain friends with her support her, set boundaries and encourage her to get help. If you can't do that then leave her alone and go your separate ways.
>>17193460
not bi polar but borderline. it's different
>>17193484
>not bi polar but borderline. it's different
Oh, I misread that. Either way, doesn't change the advice.
>>17193429
You don't have to be an asshole or anything. Just tell her, 'Hey, listen, I need to talk to you. I'm sorry about this, but I don't think talking to you like this is good for me right now. Hopefully we can be friends eventually, but for now I need some space. I wish you the best, sincerely, and congratulations on your engagement.'
If she lashes out or fails to respect your request for space, then you can get firmer & nastier -- e.g. 'Let me be clear, I'd rather you not contact me right now.' But not unless it becomes necessary.
>>17193489
yeah I Know but it's hard. I see her very often it's hard to avoid her as she goes to the same cafe and works in a local store
>>17193514
I'm worried she will act out or not take it well but it needs to be done. Thanks man.
