girlfriend of 5 years dumped me for a total faggot , trying to make her regret letting me go. im19 almost 20 and my mother works at the county school system and can get me a job being a tech assistant at the middle and elementary schools for 15/hr and benefits everything but one problem my gf got me hooked on weed and the only thing that makes me feel like not a total pos is getting high so how do I stop by July -august? been smoking almost everyday for three years usually 3x + a day.. I have no friends or anyone I interact with besides my parents which is the shitty part. haven't eaten in 3 days and ever since getting dumped I sit in bed all day moping on here. help plz
>>17192035
Join the military.
>>17192039
my dad was a navy seal (legit) whole family was in the military..
>>17192039
i only have a ged and a year and half of college . i was supposed to start classes in the fall but not sure yet
>girlfriend of 5 years
>im 19
She did you a favour.
Maybe it will do you good to quit the weed for a month or two. See how you feel without it.
>>17192070
in what ways?
One of the hardest parts about quitting weed is that it's hard to fall asleep at night.
This is because weed increases melatonin production, the hormone that makes you sleepy.
Just go buy some melatonin supplements and take them 30 min-an hour before bed.
It will be super hard to fall asleep if you didn't get stoned all day after smoking weed daily for a long time, if you don't take the supplements.
op if you were in a relation ship since you were 14 it sounds like you have invested a lot of time and majority of your lifestyle to her because now that she's gone you have a big gap. You need to face the fact the one of the biggest transitions in your life had her by your side and because of this your transition to becoming a young adult was made with her. This will be tough op but before you crumble in the places she had grown into over those years you need to fill the gap. Of course you dont know where to start because life has never been without her so far as you can remember. Find hobbies, find what you love, find all the things that give you happiness, all things you do without her. then find people who do these things, focus on crafting who you want yourself to be.
>>17192436
i usually smoke every night before I go to bed.. I'd really like to stop because 1) it reminds me of her and everything she did to me 2) I can't afford it anymore while im not getting paid from my new job yet and I'd reply like to be the bigger person and get this job that's worth keeping so I can finally make some decent money and get experience in something involving my career path
>>17192440
she took my Virginity.. all of my hobbies were things we did together. we hung out almost every day and slept together all the time, I'm just so lost. i fucked a girl on Thursday night and it felt so wrong because it wasnt with herr.. no passion or emotions at all which made it nowhere near as special ... all the girls in the world and I only want her. i had a couple friends when we first started dating and I strayed away from them for her so I'm completely alone now.
>>17192457
>>17192457
Watch this guys video dude, they helped me a lot during a break up.
https://www.youtube.com/user/BradBrowningExFactor
Basically:
No contact: Do not contact your ex for at least two-four weeks. Doing so will only push her further away/assure her that you're pathetic and attached to her.
Focus on your growth. Work out, go on dates, eat well. Soon you will feel even better than you did during the relationship. Trust me.
No stalking/checking her social media. This will only make you feel like shit and tempted to message her.
>>17192468
i just watched the one about things not to do if you want your ex back and I've done almost all of those already ugh
>>17192457
I've done the same. Fucking a chick you don't care about. You'll be fine OP. You're obviously dependent on her and its normal given that you were together for 5 years. Really only time will help. Don't stay wallowing in your sadness in your room to out and skate or hang with friends. Stop smoking as of now so you can get stoned once you have that job.
>>17192468
the first week I started working out but I quickly lost motivation to do anything, she motivated me to try when she acted like she wanted me back but then it just hurt all over again.
Wow you're almost what I would have become if I stayed with my first gf longer.
Take control of your life or accept where you're led. Blaming you smoking weed on your ex is pathetic. Get some willpower. I smoke it too, it doesn't debilitate me.
>>17192440
this anon is right op, you're still hella young. There's still tons of things in life besides that. For all we know, you could invent plasma cannons for the public
and if you're too lonely, try having a dog or cat(or a pet in general), their cuteness will distract you from being depressed, and can keep you company. Just fucking take care of em
>>17192481
That's okay anon. Here's what you do:
Message her: "Hey, sorry I lashed out and got so emotional. A lot of things were stressing me out on top of the break up. Hope you're doing well."
And that's it. Now you start no contact. In a few weeks she will most likely message you.
NO TEXTS. NO CALLS. NO SOCIAL MEDIA LIKES. NOTHING.
Disappear completely. In 30 days if she hasn't messaged you, she will be much more receptive to you reaching out to her. But remember to be casual and friendly, don't talk about the relationship, and just be the person she fell in love with.
>>17192435
Not that anon but most relationships that start that young never last. It's a good thing you didn't get married young like some fools do.
That age and into your 20's is a very transformative age. It's really difficult to make it through with a partner without you two hating each other because you end up people different than the people you started off as. Not saying some couples don't make it work but the odds are against you. The good thing is you're still young now and have a lot ahead of you.
Anyway, as far as the smoking goes. It's all about self control of course. You have really got to want it. You need to have a reason to want to quit. Your reason should be to better yourself. inb4 success and smoking. Yes you can have both but frankly smoking is a waste of money. Take it from someone who has worked for 15 years and smoked every single day for 13 of those years. When I turned 29 I realized I gotta quit this shit. I always used fake piss to pass drug tests but it's not worth jeopardizing my career over some pot. Not to mention over the years I've spent so much money on pot it's crazy.
When I quit I couldn't eat, sleep, or feel motivated to do anything. This lasted for a few weeks. Eventually it went away. I haven't smoked in two years now. If I can do it you can do it. I smoked everyday about 2 grams of dro for 13 years. It's tough but you gotta be strong. You can do it.
>>17192506
I have a cat that me and her picked out together and she would always come sleep in bed with me and her , lately I've been to upset to give her attention. i feel like shit because I haven't scooped her litter box in almost a week. we used to call the cat our little child and we acted like a family
>>17192513
i have been on vacations to countries where I could only drink casually and I didn't crave the weed at all. my longest time away was 4 weeks and I didn't crave it much it's just hard because here in my town I have easy access to it
>girlfriend of 5 years
>im19 almost 20
What the fuck happened to your life?
>>17192509
she's getting her stuff today (blankets, swimsuit,gifts , etc) and I'm gonna tell her this after she leaves. i hope this works , whats really confusing is at first she just wanted to fuck this guy (18 yr old slut probs) and I was ok w it because I wanted some new pussy too but then she told me she wants a break and that she still loves me and says I'm the only guy shed marry. I'm hoping I just have to disappear to make her want me back. or show her I can function without her
>>17192533
we met at the skating rink.. I was desperate 14 yr old beta and we just clicked. the first three years we never really argued but as it went on I showed less and less affection which I'm sure is part of it
>>17192035
>, trying to make her regret letting me go.
You do this by forgetting she ever existed and moving on with your life.
>>17192534
When she comes over just be super casual. Treat her like she's an old friend that you're attracted to, not your ex.
Be careful with flirting with her, just tell her something like "cute outfit" and don't make anything more out of it.
Don't talk about the relationship. Don't say anything weird. Just be awesome.
>>17192550
i wanted to fuck her one last time.. shed probably accept it. i was thinking of making the sex so good that it will be the last thing she remembers me for.. bad idea?
>>17192035
Just let her go and forget about that slut. Focus on yourself and you'll be banging another girl in no time
>>17192550
that is my plan as of now.. I'd like to find a gf to make her jealous but that's hard
i already banged another girl one of her friends and it made me feel instant remorse.
>>17192563
> making the sex so good that it will be the last thing she remembers me for.
You have a lot of growing up to do.
> I'd like to find a gf to make her jealous
You're not getting it are you?
>instant remorse
Of course it did, cause it was a dumb thing to do.
>>17192593
well heres some back story. she dumped me and wanted me completely out of her life for the first two weeks, then she comes over and basically tells me her new boyfriend has a tiny dick and that she said my sex is the best from anyone. it is something she wants more than I do.
>>17192593
and she already had sucked this guy's dick and did who knows what else so I did it to get even with her, otherwise i felt like I was being cucked so I did it as revenge
For quiting I'd recommend switching to a different tic, so if you smoked joints, get those Popeye's candies and just have one in your mouth, if you smoked from a bong get some gum.
I was addicted to energy drinks, I shit you not, I had massive headaches for two weeks after quitting them. I replaced the drinks with a similar tasting pop and took Advil like they were pez. Quit cold turkey, best of luck OP
>>17192647
with my ex we would always smoke blunts. usually one or two a day. but with her new guy she's smoking at least 5 or more a day. i saw her and she can't even hit a bowl without coughing for a couple minutes like she's going to puke. i now only smoke bowls because broke
>>17192600
>>17192609
I'm peacing out of this thread now, you're beyond helping.
>>17192516
Holy shit take care of your fucking pet. I've felt bad for awhile but the cat shouldn't have to suffer because it "reminds you of your ex" fucking play it and clean the box jeez
>>17192035
>>17192035
Hi, OP.
I havent had a relationship that is as long as yours but let me tell you this.
I read some interesting studies that show that the brain of someone who just broke up and the brain of someone who experienced the death of a loved one are the same (you can look this up easily). Also, happiness levels returned to the same levels as before the events happened, after time passes. I believe it because I experienced both.
It will suck for awhile but remember that time heals and you will feel as happy as you were before the breakup. You just need to get through this moment but things will get better. Work on yourself and fill the void by making yourself a priority.
I hope this help. Good luck, OP!
>>17192046
They'll take you. With a GED, you need 15 credits and you're set.
>>17192895
what branches would accept me? id prefer navy, coast guard , air force or something along those lines.
>>17192035
>how do I stop by July -august?
You throw the stuff you own away and stop doing it.Weed doesn't cause physical addiction, so this is only a psychological thing.
Find a supplement thing to keep you happy.
A hobby, working out/ lifting, doing tai chi/ meditation, a faith, getting involved in politics ...
Something along those lines.
>>17192921
i bought a g a couple days ago and when that is gone I'm done and I'm giving my bowl to my pothead friend so I can't resin hit it or anything
>>17192516
Holy shit you evil fuck. Take care of that innocent cat
>>17192921
i have a couple hobbies, I like to work on computers but mine is fine so I don't have anything to work on. i like working on cars but I am broke so my car just sits in my driveway rotting away for when I come across some money. i basically sit on 4chan all day
>>17192905
>what branches would accept me?
Navy, Army and Marines
>>17192035
so I just called her to ask when she's getting her shit and she said she is going to a party with her girl friends family. she was like I'll come tomorrow and when she hung up she said "bye snuggy love you' and I just said bye and hung up. did I do gud
OP you've gone full retard and you can't even see it. There's no helping you
>>17192035
>hooked on weed
>>17192956
you're only like the 100th person to tell me.. I know I am delusional which is why I came here
>>17192035
You're only nineteen. It's your sexual primetime, boi. You're better off now. But yeah, get out of the moppiness.
Maybe play hoop? I met a lot of people form my neighbohood playing hoop. Kids and older people, mostly, but most of them are cool and have friends and girls they've introduced me to.
Any team sport is fine. You don't even have to be good (God knows I fucking suck).
>>17192978
i always sucked at basketball. in middle school basketball in gym really bothered be because I didn't have any friends and I got picked last for teams, ball never got passed to me and if it did I usually shot and missed and people would get angry at me. there is a elementary school up the road and I see some people playing occasionally. i haven't played in at least 4 years so maybe I've gotten better. can't hurt to try?
this thread has me feeling a lot better about the whole situation. i am definitely not over her but after she gets her shit I'm going full no contact mode because I know she has feelings for me and i think it's only a matter of time until she comes back somehow. thanks anons you are better people than any friend I have had irl before. i wish you all best of luck.
