tl;dr Ex boyfriend is making contact, I miss him but don't want to make the first move
>dated for 5 years
>he dumped me as he was no longer in love with me
>felt horrible, didn't handle it well
>he cut off all contact with me, so I blocked him and tried to move on
>haven't heard from him in 2 years
>logged on to FB a few days ago and he'd sent me a message wishing me happy birthday a few days later then it was
>didn't reply, sent me another message a few days later saying he hoped I was doing well
I miss him a lot and I just want to talk to him, but I don't want to seem desperate and make the first move and say "Want to talk?".
Do I say something? Or try to ignore him?
Payback is a bitch.
What you miss is not him, what you miss is the comfort and routine you had when you were with him.
Basically, you can have that with anyone.
I'd say you should be the matter. You're the real deal. He's the one crawling back to you, so let's say you have an advantage.
I suggest you go and talk to him but don't show weakness. Show him you have a life and you're happy without him.
"i'm not inlove with you anymore" means :: "I wanna go see somewhere else but I don't how to tell you this without hurting you"
If i were you, i'd talk to him but nothing more.
Just ignore him. He dumped you so it hurts a lot. Now move one.
>>17189950
Too much missing info.
Too much "poor me".
What happened in the relationship? Takes two people to fuck up and i sense you fucked up somewhere and you dont have the spine to admit that. You arent lil miss goody goody. Youre just as fucked up as anyone on this site so spill the beans, what really happened between you two.
>>17189972
>He's the one crawling back to you
Guy messages you cause u got history and your first thought is that he is "crawling" back? The fuck is wrong with you?
Jesus your entire post is poisonous beyond belief except for:
>Basically, you can have that with anyone
Which is absolutely true. She can.
And:
>What you miss is not him, what you miss is the comfort and routine you had when you were with him.
Which is also true and could be true for him too. Maybe you both need closure.
You dont need to go psychotic like this bitch trying to give you a poison apple but you can be adult about it. If he hurt you, make him make up for it. Dont let anything happen until he does. Dont be grimey. Dont try to take advantage. Be real. Admit your fuck ups even if you dont think they are, they may be fuck ups to him. Either sort shit out with honesty and integrity or close that shit and never look back.
Dont be a vile and bitter bitch. Revenge is empty.
>>17190009
Look at this. Truth and advice on /adv/, who woulda thunk it?
>>17189950
wow that fuck face doesnt see u in 2 yrs and has the nerve to send u a fb msg dont even talk to him that should be reason enough to move on
>>17190009
>you dont have the spine to admit that
>You arent lil miss goody goody.
>You arent lil miss goody goody.
Found /r9k/!
>>17190038
>i got broken up with, how dare he, everyone knows i should be treated like a princess at all times and catered to non stop until i feel like moving on to someone better
Not how it works. People change, and feel different. We move on like adults, and sometimes come back together.
If you tell me you havent thought about an ex or yearned to see them again just one last time then youre either a liar or youve never been in love before.
>>17190044
>checked
Thank you for your childish non-argument. Do you have anything of actual value to add?
I'm sort of in your situation too OP.
Me and My girlfriend broke up in January( Dated for 3 and a half years) . Didn't speak for 6 months but I saw her two days ago due to a friends birthday and everyone showed up. We exchanged small talk but as the night went on we ended up sitting in a empty cafe talking about the past, cracking jokes and kissing.
I miss her stupid amounts right now but I'm not sure if its ever a good idea to re-date someone. I'm sat here wondering if i should call her and ask her to get coffee or something, but I don't want to come across as pathetic or desperate.
>>17190074
Cant tell you a course of action unless we know more about the circumstances.
>how long have you know eachother
>why did you break up
>what were the circumstances that happened during and after the breakup
>how are you connected family/friends/school/work wise
>>17190074
Antho, is that you ?
>>17189950
You sound like a fucking idiot.
Tell him he deserves someone who doesn't play mind games.
>>17190092
Known each other for about a month before we started dating.
We broke up for several reasons. She was very jealous of every girl i talked to, invaded my privacy alot and we argued constantly. But i suppose I was very stubborn and by the end of the relationship I didn't put much/any effort in.
I lived with her for 6 weeks about a month before we broke up, this was due to me working in a hospital right next to her student housing and I thought it would make us closer and stronger. We argued alot but I did enjoy it for the most part. She was sweet when it came to cooking and cuddling, but the arguments stemmed from not having any personal space and me needing sleep since I had work and she wanted to go clubbing or watch a film at 2am.
After the break up I'm not sure what shes been up to. She said she's been crying alot. I distracted myself with another woman I knew online, met her and spent a weekend together, helped me alot since I was distracted and felt worth something. Although I put a photo online and she saw it which apparently deeply upset her.
She lives with 2 of my best friends and is a big part of my friend group since I met her more or less right after she moved to my city/school
>>17190153
Who needed personal space, you or her or both?
>>17190170
I'd say I needed the personal space more than she did. I was out of my comfort zone alot and everything in the house was hers or her housemates, so everything I needed/wanted to use I had to ask permission for before hand.
If I wanted a nap she'd follow me to her bedroom and then she'd just play music or watch tv while I lay down after work, at the start it was cute. But when I would try and get sleep at a nighttime , she'd leave the living room where we would be watching tv so she could sit in the corner of her room and watch the same show.
This lead to arguments after a while but she'd constantly remind me its "Her house" and that her word is absolute
>>17190152
>>17190058
>>17190009
So much /r9k/ in this thread
>>17190188
>housemate
What?
>so everything I needed/wanted to use I had to ask permission for before hand.
Yea, no. Fuck that. That's uncomfortable as fuck and you have every reason to not like it.
>But when I would try and get sleep at a nighttime , she'd leave the living room where we would be watching tv so she could sit in the corner of her room and watch the same show.
Are you a light sleeper? Did you tell her u were trying to sleep so cut that shit out, come cuddle, fuck, or just lay with you? Or did u grit and bare it giving her the impression u were fine with it?
>she'd constantly remind me its "Her house" and that her word is absolute
Nope.webm
Absofuckintively NOT
If its "her house" then you are her "guest" and its her duty and job to provide the most comfortable experience for you.
But the way youre describing it she comes off as selfish and inconsiderate.
Which may not even be the case but its hard to know for sure because there's 3 sides to every story: your side, their side, and the facts.
I can only hear your side, and i can only glean some facts from it. We dont know her side of it.
>>17190152
How am I playing mind games? I was in love with him and he decided he liked another girl and left me. I don't know if he cheated on me or not, but I begged him to stay and he didn't.
I've missed him and whilst I may no longer be in love with him, I still miss talking to him. He ignored me for 2 years and then messages me out of the blue as if nothing happened.
How am I playing mind games with him if I'm asking whether I should reply to him or ignore him?
>>17190197
Still nothing of value to add i see.
>>17190221
Goes both ways
>>17190221
Funnily enough, you haven't added anything of value either. You've come into this thread with all your projecting and haven't done anything apart from attack OP.
This is /adv/, not /r9k/
>>17190212
Very true
>Housemates.
She lives with two of our friends both males and both white knights
Is it worth trying again with her? Or am i lonely because I just saw her again?
>>17190213
>he decided he liked another girl and left me
It is never that simple. Guys dont just see a girl and dump the one they are with to go after them. A connection was formed with the other girl, he had to get past all her screening, navigate all her social obsticles to get a green light from her. He formed a relationship before he decided to move on. The grass is greener aswell. Maybe the fire just died between you two, it happens. Maybe the newer girl was giving him a bit of the fire he used to have with you? Fire is intoxicating. Women fall victim to it too. Ive slepted with too many women myself who were "happily" married. Difference is i never let them leave their marriages. Its better to be secure and bored than insecure and passionate. Atleast i gave them fire to quench their thrist before they divorce from dehydration. You never asked yourself what he was getting from her that he wasnt getting for you, did you? You got "fat and happy" in your comfort zone and forgot the one key rule: relationships have to be maintained.
This isnt an attack, not by far. Im being 100% real with you and treating you like an adult.
>>17190236
Oh i get it, you must be one of those tumblrinas i hear so much about.
Im sorry i have hurt your feelings. Icecream is on me today.
Aside from that, kindly fuck off.
How you or OP feel are irrelevent next to being real in this situation. OPs statement is full of holes with no explination as to what exactly happened. Unlike>>17190153 who actually disclosed his situation so i can objectively determine a reasonable outcome. Her story also reeks of beta-male style "oh poor me".
Men dont usually leave good women, they leave bad/boring women.
But then again we're also retarded half the time, so there's exceptions.
I have no clue exactly what the situation is aside from:
>Dated 5 years
>He left me, for another girl
>Havent talked in two years
>Just messaged on FB
And since you want to be an insufferable cunt here's some info on me:
From /fit/
29y/o
6'3, 240lbs
1/2.5/3/4
7x6
Married, happily, kid on the way.
She's blond, blue eyed.
She's 5'4, 122
We've been married for two years, dating a year before that.
Have been with over 30 partners in my life, some serious relationships, some fwbs, some were just lesson i mistook for soulmates.
Now that we got that out of the way, do you have anything of value to add?
>>17190243
If u get back with her, dont live with her unless its together with out them. And it has to be YOUR place, not hers.
>>17190277
All this projecting, I bet you also post about being friendzoned.
>>17190281
I will take that as a no.
>>17190277
>from /fit/
>240lbs
So you're either overweight, or you're weak as fuck. Lol, how pathetic.
>>17190288
>:^)
>>17190278
We're currently at two different university ( Although its only a 30minute metro ride to her house). I qualify this year and have a full time ready so i should hopefully have my own place soon. She's living with those two guys for another year .
One is a good friend who is very neutral.
The other is 100% her side and truly dislikes me due to me finding that girl online and distracting myself with her.
In theory. I know the relationship wasn't amazing, we used to be petty and fight about stupid shit, I didn't get laid half as much as i wanted. And we both couldn't have a drink without a argument about nothing kicking off. Sadly things did get physical once or twice. ( Not full on punching each other in the street. But I forcefully dragged her off of me once when she tore my collar off my shirt during a night out. Not a proud moment for either of us).
So even though I know it wasn't a solid relationship, I miss just her company and her sense of humor. Just watching bad anime and stupid playfights.
Call me beta, but logical thinking just seems to get me down when I think of her
>>17190213
>How am I playing mind games?
He sends you birthday and how are you messages first and you don't want to make the first move.
He's already made the first move, and you're already playing mindgames before you've even replied to him.
>>17189950
He just wants sex, disregard all he says.
Don't be stupid.
He just wants a quick fuckerino and will throw you right away.
>I blocked him
>He messaged me on Facebook
Women in charge of being eloquent
>>17190493
>men want sex
A revelation! Oh sweet summer child
