Say there's absolutely no clubs or volunteer work in your area.
And meetup.com only lists female-exclusive meets and ones for old people.
How. The fuck. Do you meet people?
The advice is to know people already, and don't dare try to know someone who doesn't know someone you know.
But say you don't. You're starting from scratch. How?
>Online dating
>At your workplace
These are also out. A total void of results are very common from those two but people suggest them all the time.
if you really wanted to meet people you would've done it by now
>>17188596
Got anything?
Anything at all.
>hobbies
>bars
>local events
>music festivals
>gyms
>community groups
>work
>night clubs
You're not even trying OP.
>>17188791
>hobbies
What?
>bars
I don't drink. And if I did there would be an issue of designated drivers. I wouldn't be able to drive home.
>local events
>music festivals
None.
>gyms
This doesn't address the 'how' of the question. This is a location just like any other where people don't like being approached unless you somehow knew them already, defeating the purpose of going. If you're going to suggest this, be more specific.
>community groups
>work
Addressed in OP.
>night clubs
I don't drink. And if you don't drink at a night club, it's a shitty place to be.
It's fine if you don't have any suggestions. Just leave the thread for someone who does, maybe.
Your mindset is all wrong. Finding activities that can lead to meeting people isn't complicated; it can be as simple as going outside for a walk. You shouldn't be participating in activities solely for the ulterior motive of meeting someone. Otherwise, what happens after you meet that someone? Will you continue to do the activity? Or will you think "mission accomplished" and stop doing the one thing that brought you together?
>>17188814
>You shouldn't be participating in activities solely for the ulterior motive of meeting someone
>Otherwise, what happens after you meet that someone? Will you continue to do the activity? Or will you think "mission accomplished" and stop doing the one thing that brought you together?
That's precisely why I won't sign up for cooking classes or other extremely shitty and costly fringe suggestions I've gotten. I'm a bad liar because I despise liars and lying.
Let's be real, you saying I might meet someone on a walk is not just optimistic, the chances of it happening are less than remote. It doesn't happen to anybody. No one is comfortable being met this way. I dunno if you've noticed, but there's no right way to talk to people anymore. Everyone wants to be left alone at all times. Your character be damned, there is nothing penetrating this "Hey no one does THAT" in the atmosphere. I didn't go through the proper ephemeral channels.
No, I actually haven't tried talking to random strangers. So I haven't failed at doing it. But I do know I've never, and I mean NEVER heard of story from the 90s, 00s, or 10s of people meeting during a walk and then keeping contact. Or at the store. Or at the gym. Or the park. Just like how Seinfeld doesn't actually say "What's the deal" but everyone is sure he did at one point, I'm confident this only happens in romcoms.
Trust me I have heard every single 'don't'. But all the 'do's are totally nonsensical. "Go to bars! You, a lone person in a city with no public transportation. Get intoxicated at a foreign establishment!" Doubly stupid because how did the woman get there exactly? Is she also an insane drunk driver? Or is she with a gaggle of friends I'm expected to muscle through? But yeah I don't drink.
I'm not trying to shut down the advice, I've just gotten a lot of the same suggestions before, and if they worked out I wouldn't be asking.
>>17188849
Holy hell, dude...
>>17188814
>Your mindset is all wrong.
This really needs to be emphasized.
>>17188929
Anon I typed a lot of words just now.
A lot more than 8. I think I've earned some long in the tooth feedback.
>>17188951
You want to meet someone? Stop trying to do things for the sole purpose of meeting someone. Do those things for other reasons: self-improvement, health, charity, etc. Meeting people then happens as a natural side-occurrence.
>I won't sign up for cooking classes or other extremely shitty and costly fringe suggestions I've gotten
This is the mindset of a person to avoid. You gotta change your outlook on life.
Guys, don't ignore the leaps in common sense you're making.
If someone has to start from scratch, in a MODERN world where everyone can escape any given situation by looking down at a phone, how do they?
Our future depends on this question having an answer.
>>17188805
>And if you don't drink at a night club, it's a shitty place to be.
Sure with that shitty attitude
>>17189001
I'm in the same boat as a lot of you are. I don't know how to make friends in real life yet, I haven't figured it out. But I am further along. Make acquaintances. Yes at work, at clubs, gatherings- wherever it's socially appropriate to talk to people. Smile, be approachable, say hi, introduce yourself. Go where you saw them again and ask how they are/say hi every new time. Is it really hot outside? Great, complain about the weather. Something really interesting happen at the place you both work at? Talk about that. Slowly broach other topics of conversation with them as talking to them gets more natural.
The hard part for me at this point is finding somewhere to meet other 20-somethings or transitioning an acquaintanceship into a deeper friendship.
>>17188589
If you're over 24-25 and you haven't gotten the hang of meeting people by now, you're kinda stuck.
Found that out not too long ago.
>>17189000
>Meeting people then happens as a natural side-occurrence.
I have the strangest suspicion you don't practice what you preach. That you're just parroting to me something you heard elsewhere but never actually inspected to fruition.
You're telling me to stay on lonely auto-pilot and just hope something happens? Has this ever worked out for you or anyone you've known? I addressed your bit about going out for a walk. I made a salient point and you ignored it. I have to make deliberate moves. I don't know what they are, because the dating world was destroyed, but I know they have to be made. Your advice though, is 'Make no deliberate moves.' I got that advice 8 fucking years ago and stupidly I spent a lot of time following it.
I'm sure you're a woman if you're giving it. It's women who only have to wait. But that doesn't work for dudes. We actually have to try and do something. But do what? No one knows.
Respond with a paragraph or more please. Or at least admit that going to bars is fucking stupid for the reason I stated.
>>17189063
He's right. Meeting people does happen as a natural side occurrence of going out in public to places where people are. Even walks, but you have to be very confident and social to pull that one off and it's quite rare that it happens anymore. The problem with what he's saying isn't that, but rather that he expects you to know how to meet those people in those situations. Follow his advice, and when seeing those people try what I said here. >>17189042
>>17189063
>I'm sure you're a woman if you're giving it. It's women who only have to wait. But that doesn't work for dudes. We actually have to try and do something. But do what? No one knows.
Man, you had to derail the thread didn't you?
>>17189080
It's too rare to even trifle with. Consider it a total non-option.
Work is not an option either. I won't get into the reasons why but I assure you it's depressing.
>>17189090
Dude that is the advice women give. "Be yourself and wait."
It doesn't work that way when you have the utilitarian male frame.
>>17189095
Those were just two listed among many, in fact I even said don't bother with walks as a way to meet other people unless you're incredibly social. There are plenty of social venues. Go to a location where you and other people will be for a few hours, and where that same group of people (plus or minus a few) is likely to show up again next time. And again next time.
Then do what I said. If they have a primary focus like at a gym or something and can't socialize follow the advice I gave earlier about introductions. If they're waiting in line for entry to a con, concert, or something then great, you have a captive audience with interests the same as you. Play your cards right and you can walk away with a friend - which I actually have done before and am speaking from experience about. The same as before applies to this. Except after a friendly introduction start talking about what you're waiting there to see. If you come off as personable and friendly you'll walk off with contact info at the end of the day.
>>17189103
The advice given was put yourself out there in social situations. Stop trying to look to argue with advice so you can avoid following it.
>>17189161
>Go to a location where you and other people will be for a few hours,
And for you personally, in your area, where would this be?
Unless you live in Utah then your problem is non-existent.
>>17189178
Answer the question: >>17189169
And no I don't care if that's you or not.
There's no solution here to be had.
If you're an introvert male who finds social interaction draining, then entering public spaces whilst sober will do nothing for you.
Regardless of how you do it, in order to socialise you have no choice but to act unnaturally and at odds with yourself.
Your choices are to stay lonely and plod along in the vain hope the miraculous actually happens, or betray your character.
If I solve the mystery I'll let you know but rn I got fuck all and neither do these nitwits trying to sling platitudes.
>your mindset is all wrong
Yeah no fucking kidding. We were all idiots to cut off our HS contacts, now I'm up Fuck creek without a shit paddle, and so is everyone else in the failboat.
>>17189209
>We were all idiots to cut off our HS contacts
I did nothing of the sort.
All of them moved after senior year, like immediately.
>>17189182
Well I live in a big city so I can go out right now, to the bus stop, the train station, grocery store, shopping mall, out in the streets, public park, library, the one of many college campuses in my area and just start talking to anyone I fancy. I'm not that guy but I don't even need to go to a night club to meet people.
>>17188589
>meetup.com is only for girls and old people
its not, i doubt you're looking very hard, but consider the following
>you could make your own meetup page
its like 30 bucks for six months. if your answer is
>BUT I DONT HAVE 30 BUCKS
then you dont have the money to go meet people. just sayian.
but you can start a hiking meet up. a meet up of anime lovers or video game players, create a tournament whatever.
but here is some advice too:
>>17189169
I'm lucky, I have a lot of options. I can't guarantee that yours will be the same. There's a rec center down the hill from me that offers a bunch of free clubs like chess, art, etc. I don't go there because it's populated by middle aged adults or high schoolers with no middle ground between them. Every summer our town has free concerts each week at local parks. Next week there's going to be a festa hosted for three days by a local church to raise money. They do that every year. I live relatively close to NYC, and if there's a launch event for a game I want from Nintendo I've taken the train down and gone to the Nintendo World Store to wait in line. While I haven't been to other kinds of events, I've seen other long lines for a variety of things including comedians, concerts, and wrestling. This isn't even a fraction of what's available. The reality is, I don't know much of what is available because they're not things that closely interest me.
Go down to your library, go down to local community centers or city centers, wherever news of upcoming events in your town is posted. Look for signs in parks. If you can't find free events, you're going to have to cough up some money. Figure out what interests you on its own, separate from meeting friends, because no one is going to want to pay to do something they don't care about, and you'll have a hard time relating to the people there if you don't. Things like the gym, a bar, or some kind of club/class that meets regularly are viable options. The community college near me has summer courses about all kinds of classes that wouldn't really be things you would take to graduate. Things like glass blowing, jewelry making, etc. See if one near you offers the same and find something that interests you.
The duration of time is only really important if you're trying to make friends with a captive audience. When you're making friends the slower way all that matters is that you and they see each other again.
>>17189217
>grocery store
>shopping mall
>library
Time to get a lot more specific.
But you won't, because you've never actually tried this and it's very obvious that you haven't.
>>17189209
>We were all idiots to cut off our HS contacts
I had close to none, so no real loss there. I found a few people in college but was too socially retarded to follow through.
>>17189220
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
>>17188589
where do you live?
>>17189237
>you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
Shut the fuck up.
You have no idea what you're talking about. Possibly throughout the whole post, but it's most obvious here.
>>17189226
>because you've never actually tried this and it's very obvious that you haven't.
Now this is what's called projecting.
>>17189247
Prove me wrong.
Kick my ass with stories.
>>17189244
works for me.
but i just beeeeeeeeeee myself. maybe you're awful. your response would certainly imply such.
im able to make friends at a fucking bus stop. its not that hard.
>>17189063
>I have the strangest suspicion you don't practice what you preach. That you're just parroting to me something you heard elsewhere but never actually inspected to fruition
I'm married. I've dated before getting married. Yes, I've practiced what I preach.
>You're telling me to stay on lonely auto-pilot and just hope something happens?
No, you don't just "hope", you take advantage of opportunities as they arise. I was telling you how to create those opportunities.
>Has this ever worked out for you or anyone you've known? I addressed your bit about going out for a walk.
My brother met his current gf by standing in the same line at an ice cream shop. Close enough.
>Your advice though, is 'Make no deliberate moves.'
You don't just sit in a dark room hoping a beautiful girl will magically appear in the doorway. Go outside. Do stuff. Be friendly without expectations. You create more opportunities to meet people by not making that your explicit goal.
>I'm sure you're a woman
Nope
>Respond with a paragraph or more please. Or at least admit that going to bars is fucking stupid for the reason I stated.
Posts like this and others (the cooking class comment for example) just reek of bitterness and negativity. Seriously dude, I'm not mocking you; I'm trying to offer genuine advice. You're presenting yourself as someone most people wouldn't want to get to know. Stop blaming the world for your own social shortcomings.
>>17189259
>You don't just sit in a dark room hoping a beautiful girl will magically appear in the doorway. Go outside. Do stuff. Be friendly without expectations. You create more opportunities to meet people by not making that your explicit goal.
this is the advice i preach most for dating.
>>17188589
just give up
>>17188849
>everyone wants to be left alone at all times
you are living in your own world and projecting it onto billions of people. you are absolutely fucking wrong.
i meet people all the fucking time just at bus stops or on the bus or what have you.
literally just last week
>sit down
>other guy sits down
>sees i have a batman shirt on
>we talk about marvel vs. DC for the next fucking hour
week before that
>get on bus
>big scary black guy sits next to me
>the kind you expect totally mug a place
>he makes a comment on something funny he sees out the window
>We spend the rest of the time just talking about casual shit, legit nice guy
two weeks before that
>bored of being on /fit/ on the bus
>Talk to guy who sits next to me
>turns out he just moved here from boston
>having a hard time making friends
>we now go hiking every other week
two months ago
>go to bar
>sitting there alone enjoying a beer
>just ask a guy abotu the 'lego' tattoo he has
>turns out he works for fucking lego land and is in town designing giant fucking models for the lego convention
>spend all night just shooting the shit
two years ago
>go to yogurt stop
>there's a guy there who wears a superman pin on his uniform
>we shoot the shit about heroes
>im working on a super hero script, hes an actor, we trade numbers
>two years later and were still best friends (litearlly hung out just last night)
>literally just got funding for a JOKER fan film i wrote that he is gonna act in
i could go on and on. i work in an office with just me and my boss so i dont meet anyone there.
you have to talk to people. the worst case scenario is they blow you off.
>>17188589
the thing is u dont grab a whole bunch of friends from just one place you look around pick 2 from each location. you cant say meetup is all old people or females.
>>17189276
WE DO NOT HAVE BUSES AROUND HERE FAGGOT. NO PUBLIC TRANSPORT OF ANY KIND IN THIS CITY.
Jesus christ. I fucking mentioned this.
>>17188589
but if thats ur thing they id say school or linkedin or fb. tons of ppl on there.
>>17189281
they were examples. if i can meet people / friends simply by waiting at a bus stop, you can meet people pretty much anywhere.
go to a bar. go to a comic book store. go anywhere. go to a dance class. go to the beach. go skating. stop bitching about how its impossible to meet people in your own bathroom.
you completely ignored the part where i met people other ways.
fuck, just go to a bar and NOT DRINK or get a fucking lyft home if you have to drink.
>>17189287
>fuck, just go to a bar and NOT DRINK
Fucking why. Then it's obvious why you're there.
>>17189308
kill yourself? i go to the bar and just have water or a soda all the time. you can even just claim you had a rum and coke. if you are so fucking concerned about what everyone in the world thinks of every aspect of your life then dont bother asking for advice. cuz you are only asking so you can debunk it.
it must be so hard to be you.
>>17189281
well I think we just found out why you're single.
youre a narcissist child with no social skills.
>>17189315
Was that really your response to that?
>>17189320
We had that reply already, you're unoriginal.
But if you want answer: This is the only subject that gets me this wound up. It's a completely unsalvageable scenario.
You're merely LUCKY to have not ended up like me. You didn't have my luck. Good for you. But yeah be that stress-sorting algorithm. Easier to assume I'm evil than to think something else is fucked.
>>17189321
I was being facetious, but if OP wants to take it seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means(and yes, that was also facetious, but if OP wants to take that seriously, then by all means (and yes, that was also facetious but if OP wants to take it seriously then by all means
>>17189281
That's your response? THAT?? The guy is providing examples where specific settings are irrelevant... and the message you got out of it was "HE'S SAYING I NEED TO BE ON A BUS TO MEET SOMEONE BUT WE DON'T HAVE BUSES HERE GAWD WHY DOESNT ANYBODY LISTEN TO ME"
Dude... dude...
>>17189328
>ITS SO HARD TO BE ME BECAUSE IM A SPEICAL SNOW FLAKE THAT GOD CHOSE TO SHIT ON AND DESPITE WHAT I SAY ABOUT HOW THE ENTIRE WORLD WANTS TO BE LEFT ALONE IM THE ONLY ONE REACHING OUT TO HAVE FRIENDS AND NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE ME
there is not enough linkin park in the world for you.
you found a way to take every valid normal approach of meeting people in to an un-salvageable scenario
>>17189334
Yeah yeah, we got it. Linkin Park. Fedorafedoratiptip.
You're unoriginal.
Your friends weren't going to tell you.
>>17189333
The bus made 4 out of the 5 possible you fucking idiot.
>>17189343
>your friends weren't going to tell you
how would you know, you can't even make friends.
>>17189346
The bus was irrelevant, dumbass. His point was to provide a multitude of examples arguing against the idea that everyone today wants to be left alone. Swap "bus" for any other setting where random strangers sit together.
>>17189355
Internet.
The quandary has never been "How do I make friends" it's "How do I meet them within 50 fucking miles so we can share warm bodies."
>>17189328
Oh look at you. Poor Anon, no one else has had trouble in life making friends, everyone else has had their social skills and opportunities handed to them on a plate.
I was a NEET for six years. Hikikomori for three of them (one and a half, then again another time another one and a half) and again many times for shorter intervals lasting a few months each time. I didn't have friends in school, ever. I was bullied. Once I graduated I didn't go to college.
I have a job now, in fact I have three. I go outside periodically, I enjoy working. I've got social connections, not friends mind you - not yet - I'm >>17189042. I understand how you feel. I understand it's hopeless and scary, but the advice you have been given by these Anons is good, and they are trying to help you. Your outlook on life is warped out of being starved for attention, you've poisoned your mind and you need to undo that. People are not out to get you, people are not necessarily wildly more privileged than yourself, and even if they are you still have the opportunity to make your own opportunities in life. You're sitting here on /adv/ arguing with us.
Watch the thread and then get off 4chan. Go shower, get dressed. Go outside. Find someone to talk to, even if it's not on par with making a friend. When I first started out I practiced making eye contact and half smiling at people on walks, as well as pretending to need help in stores when looking for big purchases (which I would inevitably shop around on to avoid having to buy). I did that to get used to talking to people again. It isn't as satisfying as friendship or the acquaintances I have now. But if those are too hard for you to face right now, go do something you CAN do. And while you're out pick up some flyers for activities in your area, come to this thread and report back with what you find. Even if you don't do any of that, go outside and sit in a park for an hour or so, find something you can enjoy that isn't online.
>>17189364
>Oh look at you. Poor Anon
Well I can see you've typed a lot but I won't be reading it if you're going to be this obvious in retort.
Lemme guess, something extremely obvious about hygiene is down there. Something nobody had to mention.
>>17189362
>MY INTERNET FRIENDS COUNT
jesus christ this is getting sad.
Listen up faggot.
You came HERE asking for advice, not the other way around. These people are giving you advice. You're on refeed, motherfucker, and its time to eat your own feedback.
Just because youre rejecting the advice that these people are giving you doesn't make it any less true. And just because you're making attempts to discredit and delegitimize the advice, and also the people giving it, doesn't make that advice any less relevant, credible, and your conduct sure doesn't help your own situation any. Keep that in mind at all times.
So yeah, you can say dumb shit like "that's already been said before," but that doesn't make it any less true. In fact it probably makes it more true, because mulitple people are making the same observation about your inferior and terribly flawed character.
Go do something about it, or keep getting in arguments with people on 4chan. Your choice.
But hey, we all know you're gonna come back here more frustrasted because you never bothered to change yourself, and you expected teh whole world to cater to your gay little me-first needs.
P.S. Sorry about your dad.
>>17189371
Guess again.
>>17188589
Pubs.
Go with a group of schoolmate or something
>>17189388
he doesnt have any friends to go with.
AND HE CANT GO ALONE CUZ THEY'D ALL KNOW
>>17189393
You're in a bar and you're not drinking.
The fuck's the point, stupid.
>>17189399
>you're in a bar and you're not drinking
>the fuck's the point, stupid?*
to make friends. i usually go to the bar across from my street to simply have a water or a soda before headed home. its a great way to unwind because when i go home i often work on a project, so its a stress free buffer between work and 'work' at home.
i dont drink alcohol cuz 1) its more expensie then if i just grabbed a beer at home and 2) dont really drink often.
my friend im et at yogurt stop in a previous story goes to bars as well but he has literally only ever had alcohol once in his life. hes the most social guy i know.
>>17189374
Why wouldn't they?
>Because I'm using an image macro
doesn't count.
>>17189420
because they have literally nothing to do with your actual problem. no one cares if they can find someone to talk to on omegle.
everyone else has abandoned thread so i imagine i should too
>>17189436
Right, you're only a person if someone is staring directly at you as you're making a noise.
>seeks advice
>receives advice
>doesn't like advice
FUCK YOU PEOPLE YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND
>>17189478
Nothing was helpful enough.
>>17189489
What were you hoping for then? Step-by-step instructions with supporting illustrations?
>>17189529
Just something more helpful in general.
>>17189535
Whether you choose to listen or not, you're probably not going to find anything more helpful than this:
>Go outside. Do stuff. Be friendly without expectations. You create more opportunities to meet people by not making that your explicit goal.
Coffee shops. Not even kidding. Go to one to read or use your laptop. Go regularly enough and you'll recognize people. You can start talking to these people and become friends. Libraries, cafes, gym, etc also work.
>doesn't drink alcohol
What a faget
Question for the thread: has anyone ever gone to something on meetup? I want to use it in my new city.
>>17189244
I literally do that and it works to talk to people. If you see and talk to them a second or third time you may exchange numbers and become friends.
>>17189259
>You don't just sit in a dark room hoping a beautiful girl will magically appear in the doorway. Go outside. Do stuff. Be friendly without expectations.
This.
Get your closest city newspaper and look for ongoing events like festivals and etc. You can also look at local cafes for close by activities.
Look, the problem here is that you won't get any advice different than the given before. And the advice given wasn't helpful (Well it was, but you didn't like it), so I think you are done here.
>>17188589
>And meetup.com only lists female-exclusive meets and ones for old people.
So start one.
>>17188805
Sounds to me like you're more interested in rationalizing why you haven't succeeded in finding women than in finding women.
Look, I've met women running in the park
> But I work on an oil rig, there's no land around me to run
> But I've only got one leg
> But I don't like any movement that's not hooked into a vidya game
Either you want to meet someone, or you don't. Decide.
Not OP, but some of you guys don't know what it's like to be a boring mumbling autist. You can look as good as you want, but you can't win people over if you are seemingly born to be a clumsy fuck up. After a point you have to accept that you have to accept that you have limitations and they won't take you far as much as you try to manage it. It's a terrible feeling if you don't love video games and want to be around people. I'm not sure if this was the OPs point, but this is what my experience has been.
>>17189670
>but some of you guys don't know what it's like to be a boring mumbling autist
I think this is what most of you guys are missing.
>>17189670
IKTFB
So badly. Wish I could help, but we are lost causes
>>17188849
>I actually haven't tried talking to random strangers. So I haven't failed at doing it.
Does it hurt being such a spineless coward?
coworkers have always been the best for me. if you work in the same field there's a good chance you're more like eachother than you think.
>>17189670
>mumbling boring autist
We're in a sort of catch-22 situation, to get friends you need some friends (or be socially skilled at least.) I mean, like I don't to be seen as some sort of charity case.
>>17189608
Joined a great meetup group several years ago. After awhile some of us made an offshoot of the original group for a book group. Have made several very good friends from this group too.
>>17189633
Why don't people believe me when I say there aren't any?
>>17189648
>So start one.
No.
>>17188805
> I don't drink
Well there's never been a better time to start.
We just invited ourselves to a party across the street.
"You guys are drinking?" "You mind if we come over for a beer?" "Come on down"
>>17190480
I don't have friends and I'm 24. I'll be attending a community college in the summer, fall and so on. I want to believe I could make friends, especially because the friends I have on the internet are fading away. Most times I try to interact with my extended family or my family's friends I stumble. Last time I had friends was high school and those guys were assholes to me. I don't want to be a charity case, yet I have to face the facts that I have barriers. I'm not a bad person
>>17191865
Car.
Alcohol.
Driving back from wherever. In the car. Having consumed the alcohol.
Bad.
>>17191580
Some people get no fun effects from drinking. It just makes them sleepy. And I'm one of them.
It's worthless to me.
>>17189951
What context do you have for this shit that I don't?
I live in a place where when people make the slightest intersection with another human being they mumble "sorry" or "excuse me" under their breath and just meekly get back on course to whatever they're doing.
Everyone carries distractions with them so they can quickly act indignant and pretend-busy if they have to deal with any life but their own for a second.
People are not friendly unless its their job to be. Because they have enough friends. They're not rolling the dice on more.
>Well that's not my experience
Then you can't help. This is a blue door. You need the blue key.
>>17191962
>people only do...
>everyone here does...
There you go again, blaming society for your own social ineptitude. "It's not me that needs to change; it's everyone else."
>>17191987
Do I really have to use the word victim blaming to describe this shit?
Because my god. You're not here. I am.
>>17192010
You're not a victim.
>>17192016
Sure I am. How am I not?
>>17192028
Victim is a self-imposed character you don't have to be a victim. even someone who is murdered or raped lost a fight they're not a victim they're a loser you're a loser.
>>17192028
Because nobody has wronged you. Nobody has done something to you to cause your current state.
>>17192037
Never go full retard
>>17192037
Soooo if you get raped or murdered you are a loser? So serial killers or rapist are "winners". Fuck off.
>>17192037
Semantic nonsense.
>>17192042
There doesn't have to be a 'somebody' who did it.
A guy dies of thirst at a dried up oasis. The map marked it but the map was also outdated. So was the information that the map was up to date. No one deliberately lied, but that doesn't change how shitty the situation is.
>>17192079
Drink your pee.
>>17192010
>>17192028
>I don't know how to interact with people
>I don't know how to function in society
>I'm a victim
>>17188589
Jesus and people wonder why more and more young men are getting depressed
>>17192092
The thing is, society is comprised of quite a lot of people like you. And you're an idiot. I bet you like football, are nationalistic, and are proud of events you took no part in.
>>17192173
>sees somebody who can function in society and interact with other people
"That guy is just an idiot who isn't enlightened like me."
Okay dude. If that makes you feel better about yourself. You must be right. My simple idiotic pea brain is what allows me to interact with all the other idiots. If only I wasn't such an idiot... only then would I be able to see the truth of the world, like you.
>>17192209
Confirm or deny the allegations.
>>17192209
>>sees somebody who can function in society and interact with other people
No I actually haven't seen that.
You're posturing as one though.
And you're assuming I can't function because I'm outlining a very real, very widespread, insurmountable problem. There are plenty of people in the same boat as me.
I know it's stressful to imagine that innocent people are suffering for no reason. I know it's much much easier to assume they did something wrong to deserve it, that they were given the exact same context as you, and were too lazy to do anything with it.
I know that's how you cope, and I guess it's fine. But don't vocalize it because it sounds insanely stupid out in the open.
>>17192235
You're not a victim. You're not suffering for reasons beyond your comfortable.
You're right when you say there are others like you, but you are wrong when you say things are insurmountable. There are anons just like you who have found ways to meet people. If they can do it, so can you. They have shared examples. They have offered their advice. Rejecting their advice and insulting them - that's your choice.
You can take control of your own life if you're willing to make the effort.
>>17192276
*reasons beyond your control
>>17192276
They've acknowledged how lucky they are to live in a big city, or somewhere that cares enough to have a community. Any issue I have pertains to sheer distance.
I don't have trouble talking to people. It's easy after I've met them. But the act of meeting people has become arcane.
As a guy, there is nothing you're allowed to do. If a person makes an anecdote of anything you just tried, that they shut down for any reason, you're seen as a hostile. Girls tell these stories all the time "I was at ______ and, augh, this guy was hitting on me." Well I've never heard the positive version of this story. Seems to be a universally hated thing. I don't want to be that guy who annoy peoples if I can help it. I ask anyone how they first met, seems to be through friends of other friends. Or something so pedantic and lucky, you couldn't make advice out of it. Telling me I'm not suffering for reasons beyond my control is asinine.
Someone tells me "No it actually does work this way" I'll ask for more specifics. And never get them. I'll get accosted for insisting they be more specific. And when they don't get more specific, or they add a detail that explicitly contradicts something I said earlier, I shut it down. Because bad advice is actually worse than no advice.
>There are anons just like you who have found ways to meet people.
So right here. Be more specific. Do you know any? How did they do it? Can I use their solution as my own in any way?
>>17192305
You're asking the wrong questions. Being more specific isn't going to help you, because you can't replicate every minute detail of that person's past experience. People aren't machines. Nobody can give you step-by-step user instructions.
The earlier advice about doing stuff without expectations and without the deliberate mindset of "I'm going to meet someone" is spot-on. Do something (anything) that places you in settings with other people. Do the thing not to meet people, but rather for the purpose of doing the thing. Meeting people is a byproduct of that.
>>17192305
Just give up on getting advice from this shitty board, OP. I asked a question somewhat related to yours once, and it was just a swarm of normies shitting on me saying it's my own fault for not being born effortlessly normal like they were. The people here aren't human, they don't give a shit about helping you or anyone else. They're only here to stroke their own egos.
>>17192320
Alright so I can't be trying to meet people. But I have to go somewhere where other people are. But I have to be interested in what I'm doing for reasons other than trying to people. I have to genuinely want to be out there.
I'm an artist. I am going to be making a low income for the rest of my life. And that's assuming I work tirelessly to get my brand out there, starting 5 minutes ago. That means the spare time that I have, isn't the spare time you have. Anywhere I may be: "I could be at home desperately clawing away towards my future." It makes you anxious. I don't really feel like I have time to throw away on something that may NEVER turn a result. There's a reason I don't believe in that byproduct. When I'd go to bookstores, or the mall, or the movie theaters, I'd be doing it to do the thing. I used to do them a lot. I don't anymore because I lost interest in those things, and to a lesser degree, because I don't believe in that byproduct. Nothing had ever happened and nothing was ever going to. And I hate when people insist "BUT IT MIGHT" because they NEVER GET MORE SPECIFIC. Nothing EVER happened. People are minding their business, they have stranger-warding talismans on. I'm not going to try and approach a group of 4 people because I'm interested in talking to one of them.
Do you get me now? I want specifics. Don't dawdle around not telling me any.
Okay that's the /adv/ I remember. I make the post that clarifies everything, making actual advice feasible, and that's where the thread dies.
>>17192690
Maybe people grew tired of your bullshit? There is no response that can be given that won't result in you replying with further anger, doubt, or petty insults as you have done repeatedly throughout this thread. Every single post you have made in this thread is brimming with spiteful negativity.
You are incapable of acknowledging even the slightest possibility that any advice given is valid. You are so angrily firm-rooted in your own little view of the world that you are beyond help.
>>17192724
>Maybe people grew tired of your bullshit?
Again, this is the /adv/ I remember.
You're not being honest. Just because you can get away with it doesn't mean you should.
OP you sound like a lonely person autistic person who's horrible to be around. And not the gifted, smart autistic. You're the socially inept complainy type of autistic.
If you weren't such a braindead fucktard you would realize that everything you need to make friends is right here in this thread.
>>17192753
I sound like this when I'm maddeningly frustrated. And this is the only topic that maddeningly frustrates me.
Now normally I'd call you a stupid butt and advise you to hide the thread, but a challenge comes to mind. I challenge you, anon:
>If you weren't such a braindead fucktard you would realize that everything you need to make friends is right here in this thread.
Link the specific posts. And greentext the specific advice. All the posts, and all the text. Or just half. Whatever. You should do all of it, but this is America.
You do this, and I will never complain again.
Never ever.
It's up to this anon, thread. It has to be him. He is the paladin and I am the wicked sorcerer. If he shirks this quest it will validate my point eternal.
>>17192780
How about you take up your own challenge?
>>17192724
>Every single post you have made in this thread is brimming with spiteful negativity.
Show us where this statement is wrong. Show us where you've considered the advice given without flippant backhanded remarks.
>>17192807
I QUESTED YOU FIRST, YOU STUPID BUTT.
>>17192807
Do you wonder how I was so confident you wouldn't do it? Putting such one-sided high stakes on it?
>>17192359
It'd be interesting if there were discussion after this post.
