I will die if this goes on.
All my life I have tried to follow my ethical framework as closely as possible. This framework has changed through time and it has turned increasingly amoral but "fair" so to speak. Basically I try so everyone (including me), at least but not only the ones involved with me one way or another, have the greatest control over their life as possible.
The problem is my desires and inner world are a complete mess and sometimes I feel like I have to ignore my ethical framework. This is literally the only thing keeping me from cheating on my gf, underground human experiments (where they agree under rather shady conditions but safety measures would be taken to stay out of jail) and overall being a huge asshole.
How can I be a decent human being as naturally as most people seem to be?
This makes me think about if we are good people doing bad or bad people trying to get control of ourselves.
>>17184611
>underground human experiments
What line of work are you in?
what's stopping you from breaking the law and doing these unethical things? nothing until someone catches on. just be yourself and try and live in the moment and stop worrying about ethics. if you can't control these impulses to do bad shit seek help.
>>17184631
To be honest, who knows
>>17184640
My work is not related to that. I am an industrial engineer. These experimenta would invilve psychedelic drugs (mostly on slightly mentally ill people) and performance enhancing substances.
>>17184641
Mostly the consequences and my obsession with being a good person.
Is it bad, have an obsession with being a good person?
>>17184662
most people can't sense that stuff offhand. unless you do something fucked up in front of them or admit to something fucked up. so don't worry. if you havint done anything fucked up not plan on it I would not worry at all.
>>17184668
I get that. My question is more about how to make this "being a decent dude" more natural and less conflicted with my thoughts and feelings.
>>17184662
OP here. Yes, it can be. It most certainly is annoying as fuck at least.
>>17184685
what's the conflict then? being a "good dude" is pretty easy unless your an uptight sociopath autist who can't control their snarky outbursts. then nobody wants to be around someone like that and you get labelled the asshole. just be laid back and take other people's ideas into consideration. you say your not outright trying to do illegal shit so your fine on that end
>>17184668
The problem is that I feel like I am not good enough and does not come from me do the right thing.
>>17184611
OP, I would stay on this thoughtful path , but tweak your ethics so that they are more reasonable and true. In this confusing and complex world , we often find comfort in absolutes "greatest autonomy" however , the world is more complex than that. As long as you can understand why cheating is wrong "it breaks the presumed contract formed in a relationship" , then you're fine. Keep the pondering these issues , because I think it's healthy, but if you can't definitively answer every question, it's ok. You don't have to always have an answer for every topic.
>>17184700
I will take your advice.
I am doing nothing that will get me caught.
The problem is mostly that behaving the way I have been behaving in order to be a decent guy is really fucking tiresome.
>>17184715
This helped. Thanks for the advice. I guess I have to tweak this framework into something that considers my limitations without changing the basis of it.
>>17184611
Always tried to live by a somewhat Stoic code.
Rudyard Kipling's "If--" always goes through my mind when I'm in a tough spot.
IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!
>>17184611
For me, ethics falls short of one thing:
What is really best for all.
I'm prepared to throw ethics out the window if it doesn't work anymore.
>>17184731
>>17184731
It does help. A friend shared that poem with me some months ago. I can see how this mindset can be useful in tough spots. Thanks.
