Especially any parents, can you please give insight as to why my long-distance boyfriend's parents are being increasingly hostile, disrespectful, and harsh to him?
>I'm 24 he's 18. We live in different USA states
>I have known him since before he was 16 so a really long time. We didn't get official till about 2 years ago. I know. I'm not worried. We kept it on the DL. He's 18 now anyway
>met online via mutual vidya and mutual friends
At first perhaps his parents didn't know about me. But I think gradually they became aware that -gasp- their young man was doing what young men do and get girlfriends. I believe they hate me and do everything they can to keep me and my boyfriend separate.
I'm scared that they'll get hostile enough that they'll prematurely kick him out of the house. He doesn't do anything wrong. He doesn't backtalk them unless he's cornered and needs to fight. He does his chores. He is extremely hardworking. It's not like he's being a rebellious person. Mostly because of obvious reasons, boyfriend avoids parents/family and stays in his room. Contrary to what they think, he doesn't play vidya a lot. He mostly spends time with me, as we talk and hang out daily or as much as possible.
I do know that my boyfriend was an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy. And I know for a fact that my boyfriend's parents had a set idea of how they wanted him to turn out (some jocky sports player) and we're obviously disappointed when it didn't happen. Could they simply be just harboring that resentment still?
One last crucial information: a long time ago me and my boyfriend's family had a run in with the police. Having to do with domestic violence. It's even on the news. Basically some deep shit happened and I believe my bf's parents harbored an intense grudge on him
>>17183223
Boyfriend's dad is a deadbeat who smokes a ton of weed, even in the house, and drinks alcohol. Mother is a high pitched bitchy person who flip flops between supporting my boyfriend and being downright cruel to him. He has siblings but they never get asked to do chores. they are just under his age so it's not like they are babies.
Why? Why becoming more hostile?
You and his family different races or classes?
>>17183246
>>17183223
>Why? Why becoming more hostile?
Because people are fucked up. There is no rhyme or reason to it.
Your boyfriend's parents are a couple of dysfunctional twats. End of story. Figuring out WHY they are won't change anything.
Either accept what they are and continue your relationship with him or don't.
>>17183298
We are both white middle class people. Financially I've been the breadwinner up till now, but soon he will have jobs that will collectively pay out more than I make.
>>17183311
This sounds pretty logical. Long ago I accepted they were cruel, violent, and fucked up parents. No amount of anything will probably change that. I just thought that maybe they harbor resentment over stupid things, or that I threaten them perhaps
>>17183342
>I just thought that maybe they harbor resentment over stupid things, or that I threaten them perhaps
It doesn't matter why. Shit, it doesn't matter if they're mean and cruel because they're space aliens in disguise who hate humans.
It won't change anything. Stop focusing your energy on it because its completely irrelevant to how you should go forward with this situation.
>>17183355
Big question #2 then:
>>17183355
I don't have -quite- a good enough amount to move yet. Just want to stay at my job for another 6 months maybe....
How to support him? Afraid parents might kick him out
im kinda the oppisite. my parents are loaded with money and they combined probably make around 200k and they spoil the fuck out of me. i have a job and pay for all my little shit I buy but generally they pay for me. my gf is poor from a poor family who didnt go to college. mother isnt in the picture so its just her dad which is ok. her mom doesnt like me because she thinks im bragging all the time which I do not. ive kinda just ignored it.
>>17183371
>How to support him? Afraid parents might kick him out
There's nothing you can do but grit your teeth and smile and play along until you're ready to leave. Confronting them will make them flip their lids and do something drastic so if being with him is what you want to do then you're going to have to bear their shitty attitudes and just keep them happy for the time being.
Being with him means there will always be a chance his parents will turn everything to shit. Accept it, be ready for it, and do your best to work around it.
>>17183382
Oh god you're right. What if we marry someday and they become in-laws? -shudder-
>>17183372
Hey thank you for the story and the different perspective. I think it's just as simple as parents gonna parent. Also that feeling of being too far away to help
>>17183391
>Oh god you're right. What if we marry someday and they become in-laws? -shudder-
Then accept that too. Changing people is not an option. Though, if its any consolation, if you ever do get married and have children its been my experience that in-laws tend to be more willing to modify their behavior if being able to have relationships with their grandchildren are on the line.
You know what you're getting yourself into so, be ready. Thats all you can do.
>>17183391
youre welcome. It is sometimes hard when my gf brings up that her dad has no money he makes like 30k a year or something and idk what to say sometimes because I dont know what thats like. and my parents have taken my family everywhere, entire us, hawaii alaska , mexico , 16 countries in europe and nobody can relate to the experiences i have so i never talk about anything because im always assumed to be bragging. for example a song comes on that reminds me of driving down a costal mountain road in rural italy at sunset and she just assumes im rubbing it in her face when it is really something I can relate to and have really connected with.
>>17183840
im 19 btw, and i wish I knew someone I could relate to and talk about life with. have yet to meet someone like that yet.
