I am never able to make women initiate contact even though I have fun hobbies and a great job. I always reach out for them like hey what's up, what are you doing today, want to brunch/go out and they always say they got something else to do and never contact me again. It also applies with guy friends so how to be more interesting?
>>17171602
Be an asshole, take care of yourself, improve your looks by working out, improve your wardrobe, clean yourself by showering at least once a day, wash your mouth often, etc.
Shit will start happening right then and there.
>>17171620
I swear to god I do everything you mention. I never really pursue them, just text them a little bit and when she starts to get dull/takes her time to respond, I stop talking. I don't know what to do, read self improvement books? More hobbies?
>>17171602
Step one is to take this poster's >>17171620
advice with a grain of salt. Muscles and a nice shirt might give you more confidence as far as reaching out to people and interacting with them but remember that it isn't a substitute for a personality.
Using empty gestures like "being an asshole" and washing your mouth to replace the fact that you will create a social foundation that is just as empty as you are.
I would suggest to you maybe building friendships around your hobbies. I'm a musician, I love music. So I go to concerts, music related events, record shows, hang out after shows etc.,
Its a lot easier to connect with people over things you're passionate about as opposed to just dry firing and hoping you click on something.
By all means, if improving your looks will give you more confidence then there's nothing wrong with being more comfortable in your skin but I can promise you that not only is it not a proper substitute for actually having a personality, "being an asshole" will attract other assholes and people who like to socialize with assholes. Those people are not the kind of people you need to develop lasting connections with, I can promise you.
>>17171653
So just befriend people around your hobbies? The trouble is that when I start a new hobbies and there are girls, they never care about me and only go for chad. I am invisible to them
>>17171702
Forgot to mention my hobbies. Aside from going to the gym, I go to a track and field club (girls are literally out of reach because they are high level athletes and only care about high level guys), boxing (same thing as track and field), drag racing (no women there), outdoor activites like climbing/kayak/camping (can't find a single one liking this), shooting (no women), paintball (no women) and road biking.
So yeah maybe I have shit hobbies? I also often go to big events but I often go alone
>>17171602
the hobby thing is a bit of a meme. hte truth is you are not interesting to most people. no matter how itneresting your hobby is. no woman thinks 'WOW YOU DO XX? WHAT A STUD'
unless it happens to be something she really enjoys. hobbies are for your own personal enjoyment. and hwen it comes to getting to know someone, they help you look more 3 dimensional. they do not make women inherently attracted to you. same goes for your job unless that 'great job' is actually fucking great and not just something you personally like. CEO, football player, a legitimate artist, a true success, etc.
your hobbies and job are not what make you interesting. its you and chemistry.
for now, post a picture of yourself so we can see what their initial reaction to a person like you might be.
>>17171829
But how can you be more interesting? I follow world events, read about various things and open to pretty much anything. The only thing I don't do is travel, always considered a waste of money.
Pic related, I have the same facial structure with less fat and better hair. I am 5'8 163lbs. Might be because of my height? Not buff enough?
>>17171602
you're fucking ugly
>>17171869
the things you follow dont really say if you are interesting. at best htey will just allow the other person to ramble abotu their own thoughts and opinions to you.
interesting is chemistry. interesting is personality. you can have the most diverse interests in the world and still not be good at just hanging out with anyone.
>just assume i look like pic related, except different
no
>>17171887
There you go. My best picture. I also have blue eyes if that helps
>>17171898
Forgot pic
>>17171903
>censoring my eyes will help... somehow
that being said you look handsome enough as is, growing your hair out a bit might do you a favor but that looks fine. assuming body is moderately fit you arent off putting visually.
if that really is you then that example image you posted was really fucking dumb.
what are your supposed 'interests' ?
>>17171702
>they never care about me and only go for chad. I am invisible to them
You're going after the wrong girls in the wrong places. If I take my goofy ass to an NFL draft party it would seem a little unrealistic of me to expect any women to notice me and not the 7 foot ripped athletes. You're out of your element, kid.
I'll tell you a secret. "Chad" doesn't exist. "Chad" is the guy this board blames for not being able to get girls. Woman doesn't want you? Its Chads fault. Woman dumps you? Its because Chad stole her. Woman doesn't pay attention to you? Cause she's too busy fucking Chad.
Fuck stop it with this Chad shit already.
You can spend your life blaming your problems on "Chad" but there are more regular guys like us than there are "Chads" and most of us manage to find our place in the dating world so quit with the excuses and figure out what the fuck you're doing wrong.
You sound boring.
No girls get turned on by texting about the weather/their day. You're taking too long to set up dates.
Texting is a medium to set up dates, not get to know each other.
When you do go on a date, keep the simple questions to a minimum. Start with simple questions, then when she's comfortable start asking more personal stuff about her passions and experiences.
Also avoid talking about yourself. Nobody cares. Girls want to talk about themselves.
>>17171925
I think I start to understand. It's all about "exposure". I nees to go out to a place where I stand out from the others and the hobbies I have never allowed me to prove myself. I guess I'll date some shitty girl with low education so I can stand out among her male entourage
>>17171974
>only shitty women will appreciate me
you are the one saying us, not this. if a girl is only interested in 'chads' then how good can she really be mate?
>>17171980
That's what I was wondering. Maybe my standards were too high? I'm good on the first impression, I can get numbers quite easily. The problem is later on, when I get to talk to her and try to set up dates. I guess that among her endless harem of male candidates, I am not worthy enough?
>in b4 your standards are too high
I am interested to any kind of girl, as long as she is not obese, doesn't have a shit load of tattoos/piercings and doesn't have a bitchy attitude.
>>17172023
>maybe my standards were too high
>INB4 MY STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH
what mate? is there someone else in your head there with you?
>i say i have virtually no standards
but chacnes are you do. i doubt you're hitting on that many ugly girls.
you need to stop thinking about yourself as worthy or godo enough. girls are not magic vagina monsters. they are not supreme court judges who decide if you are a good quality person.
they're just people. looking for someone they actually connect with.
>>17172050
Can you give me an example of girl that would be in my range? Because it seems I have some pretty high standards and distorted views about beauty so maybe try to guide me on what would be accessible to me?
>>17172102
its hard to say mate. every girl is different. im considerably less attractive than you but i date just find. i realize im a bit lucky and my life is a bit weird. but i happen to find girls i have good chemistry with and hit it off.
>>17172023
>I am interested to any kind of girl, as long as she is not obese, doesn't have a shit load of tattoos/piercings and doesn't have a bitchy attitude
> I guess I'll date some shitty girl with low education
You obviously have misconceptions about your own standards
>>17172176
No? She can be pretty low tier without any of the things I don't want
>>17172183
why the fuck would you date a girl you consider shitty
how is "shitty" within your standards
But disregarding that, what are your standards anyway, about physical appearance? Let' say, if you go to a club or to a Uni class, how many girls/total do you find attractive enough to date?
Maybe you're boring/creepy as fuck when you talk, because you seem above average in your pic, unless your eyes ruin everything
>>17172197
When I go to a nice bar (not a nightclib with blonde bimbos) I consider around 80% hot and 10% acceptable. Only a small fraction doesn't interest me. Boring? Might be but if I am able to get phone numbers and get super close and down to fuck while dancing, then I consider myself as minimaly interesting
>>17172239
then your standards seem alright
with your face, I really don't see why you wouldn't get positive feedback
How do you ask these girls out? If they say they can't, do you try to reschedule? After they've said no once do you wait for them to contact you? If you've already asked a girl out it is unlikely that she'll be the one to initiate things after that, since she'll think "he asked that one time, so if he doesn't ask now it' because he isn't interested anymore"
>>17172239
also, getting a number + dancing isn't really a sign that she'd want anything further, that's shit she'd do for a guy she wants to be friends with too
>>17172296
It usually goes by like hey what's up *insert nickname*, are you free this weekend (text her around the beginning of the week) and it always goes by "I can't this weekend I got other plans but how are you doing?" and then they try to keep talking via text messages but I keep my answers bare minimum. They never reschedule anything and if after the second try she still avoids me, I just never talk to them anymore. I did pursue a girl for a long time, she was 5 years older than me and that experience convinced me that you should never pursue if she doesn't reach out to you
>>17172302
Yeah trouble is they are not even interested in friendship
