>19
I don't know about you guys, but honestly being social has brought me nothing but trouble. I hate my job, and I'm pretty sure i failed the only community college class I was taking.
And honestly I'm lonely and want a relationship. However my coworker tells me that being Unhappy with yourself and trying to get into a relationship will end up bad, no matter the scenario.
So I'm thinking that maybe for the next few months I'll go back to being a hermit, and just do the following
>wake up
>Go to work
>Go home
>Play vidya
>Workout
>sleep
>repeat
I hate all the coworkers who aren't in my department, I'm salty as hell to everybody else but the people I work close with. And all the girls I try talking to they just leave me on seen.
So should I dedicate this summer to me and me only? Maybe hang out with a couple of friends every now and then?
And if I go back to school, continue being a hermit and just concentrate on my studies?
Part of me tells me that this is what I need.
>>17165763
your co worker is correct.
if interacting with people brings you trouble, and NOT interacting with people makes you lonely, then the problem is YOU. you are not the kind of person you'd like to spend time with. otherwise you simply would.
hanging out with friends is a good idea if you like them and enjoy it. you should be enriching each others lives. if you arent, and you dont see it going anywhere let it fade out.
try new stuff this summer. things you think might be fun. if they arent fun, move along.
there is a native american spirit totem for the bobcat, that teaches people to be 'alone without being lonely'.
think of that as you go forward.
>>17165800
Could you elaborate more on how I'm not the type of person I'd spend time with?
How can you tell? And is there a way to improve it?
>>17165820
>could you elaborate more on how I'm not the type of person I'd spend time with?
>how could you tell.
you literally said so. you get lonely . and don't worry, we all do to some degree. but the way you say it and in the context of the situation, you're implying that you dont like to be alone most of the time. if you were the kidn of person you'd like to spend time with, you'd be fine spending time by yourself.
if you find yourself yearning for company most every night in a negative way, then you need to consider improving yourself and/or your life.
>is there a way to improve it
yes. mostly through self discovery. I think part of the issue here is in your OP you act as if there are only two choices
>be a social butterfly
>be a hermit
you can be both. most people dont know that the real meanins of introverted and extroverted simply means someone who recharges by being alone or being with people respectively.
an introvert can like spending MORE time with people than an extrovert, simply because he needs to recharge. people dont exhaust him.
a lot of people on /adv/ claim they are introverts, but then talk about how lonely they are, how fucked they are, how its the worst thing ever. they arent introverts. they are extroverts who just arent doing what they are supposed to. or at best, somewhere in the middle.
my point here is that you have more choices than just 'an introvert who hates people' and 'chad the extrovert who knows everyone.'
>>17165820
>>17165836
take the people you DO like and hang out wiht them doing things you like, for the amount of time you like. dont force yourself to do something just because someone asks just say 'man i had so much fun last time, but i really just need to chill out this evening'.
for me the ideal social interaction is 2 to 3 times a week, nights only. for you it might be more. it might be less. experiment and find out.
but when it comes to spending time alone, try and find something a bit productive to do. most people feel unfulfilled and lonely because they come home, do somehting they've done a thousand times, get bored and get lonely.
in your case id be guessing either 4chan or video games.
when i get home from work i take a nice shower, with a nice cold beer. then i write. OR, whatever i wrote got filmed over a weekend, so i edit the video of that. these little projects make my life.
yours could be writing too. or maybe you draw a comic. or maybe you build furniture. or maybe you build model trains. or maybe you learn an instrument so you can write songs. or maybe you write a book. or maybe you do something else.
as long as its something that has end games, goals, etc. its good. playing sports help cuz there is the improvement, the win lose factor.
simply drawing, watching TV or playing v ideo games doesn't cuz at the end you feel empty. you only feel enriched whiel doing that. whereas a productive hobby you feel enriched even more when its finished, and even just all the time. your accomplishments sit with you.
>>17165836
>>17165846
Jesus christ anon you are right. Maybe what I need to do this summer is going out more, but without feeling the stress of me judging myself for it.
Thank you so much man, I'll definitely start doing something different this time.
You've given me a bit of hope, something I haven't had in quite a bit. Thank you man.
>>17165863
my moral was a little bit of both. aim to do things you liek whether alone or with people. even if you're alone, you'll still be doing things you like, yeah?
good luck anon. whatever works.
