I cannot get a date.
Attractive 25 year old male. I'm on dating sites (which I know are difficult to begin with) and do a load of extra curricular activities outside of my studies, and I just don't seem to meet a girl who wants to talk. Female friends say I'm not boring etc so I don't have much to go on, and I even saw a dating coach the other week who said my body language/communication style are strong, confident etc.
It's getting a bit frustrating now because people around me who aren't as attractive and arguably are as interesting as a rock seem to fall into relationships and yet I can't get a date. I know it's probably a case of waiting for the right person but still, any help would be great. Maybe suggest a few websites that actually work? Only thing I will say is that this has knocked my confidence a bit but I haven't given up trying!
>>17162377
Need to see a pic!
>>17162416
Give me an email and I'll send one. Not posting publicly!
>>17162421
That means I have to post my email publicly... Not something I want 4 Chen to know...
Do you find yourself attractive?
>>17162377
Your standards are too high.
Lol just take a selfie right now, no one can track it back to you if you don't post it on any other site like a retard. Plus /adv/ is not /b/, we aren't a bunch of edgy 12yos, we don't care.
Do it or you're queer.
>>17162377
>attractive
provei t. even if you are attractive, there are different types and the require different approaches.
no, a description and what someone on /soc/ rated you is NOT a picture. and is useless.
>friends tell me im not boring
they are your friends. if you were boring htey wouldnt tell you.
>i paid someone to tell me im confident
see the issue with that?
>>17162421
here you go
[email protected]
lets see what you are working with
>>17162442
I understand.
Let's put it this way; I didn't think I was, but after asking around and talking online it turns out I'm quite attractive. Average rating on a scale of 1-10 is an 8. I'm a white male, average build with facial hair and people refer to me as "very handsome".
>>17162446
Nope. I've messaged girls of varying attractiveness. I don't actually have high standards.
>>17162457
True about the dating coach. I've been trying for about a year to land a date now and no success; with the feedback I got online being overwhelming positive (based on what I said about myself, obviously) I arranged to meet up with this guy and see what he had to say. He echo'd the same remarks + the comments about my language etc
>>17162459
Pic sent. Please do not post in publicly.
>>17162472
you sure? its not popping up. ive confirmed its the irght email tho
>>17162472
>>17162478
got it. do you have any where you are clean shaven?
you arent ugly, but you arent exactly attractive. at least not conventionally. also black and white? doesnt actually tell me what you looks like. we cant help you if you're hiding stuff obviously.
but yeah you can improve. can you send a colored picture? how skinny are you?
>>17162483
Are you male or female?
I'm just wondering because, and this isn't me trying to defend myself or anything, all the girls I've sent pictures to online have given me high remarks for my looks. I don't really have an opinion on my appearance so it's difficult to judge.
I've got a few more pics. Not great but probably give you more of an idea. As for how skinny; I lost a lot of weight due to illness last few months so quite at the moment. Normally average build, but am toned.
>>17162491
gay guy. and it should be noted that i have what is considered 'wider interests' in men then most girls. by which i mean, i am more open minded about what is attractive. so me putting you as barely passable would mean most girls would like you less so.
but if you want to ignore that, dont ignore the facts. you want to know why you can't get a date, and im not saying you're some ugly fucktard with no hope. but your looks do factor into some degree, and they are hindering you from what I've seen so far.
waiting on the other pics so i can see what were working with. but please for gods stop saying that someone random gave you high marks. the facts are that those marks mean nothing considering you cant get a date.
>>17162494
Relax, I wasn't criticizing! :)
It's funny you say that actually because friends of mine stuck me on a gay dating app the once and I had nothing but an endless stream of messages lmao
>>17162491
k got your POF account. you have pretty eyes but a more masculine everythign else. it clashes bad and i think its your biggest issue. you could probably do your hair a bit differently too.
>>17162502
yeah gays like all sorts. we like cute little twinkie guys but also big manly guys and everything inbetween. though on a dating app / site you are goign to get most of those msesages from old dudes who will message anyone who isnt fat under hte age of 30.
anyway, i think we could fix your hair a bit. thats the best i can do face wise. hard to say whats up with your body, but if oyu arent working out, do so. it never hurts.
if i had to guess your problem is you are aiming for girls out of your league. though it says here you live in the UK, and i know the dating field there is extremely idfferent than it is here. can still give you my dating copy pasta if you want it.
>>17162502
why are oyu so afraid of posting here btw? ive seen these on /b/ before im sure.
>>17162377
forget dating sites. sure its easier to find someone but only if your life is a rom-com movie...
you might have to venture out #someeffortrequired
the reason i say this is: online dating only works when each other likes yours/their photo and you message each other until you meet.
you maybe very hansome BUT you must be handsome enough for them to message you first. lets start with your profile pic.
if you have any face fuzz: shave it, majority of girls dont like beards. because to them they look yuck (their words not mine)
your profile have a look sometimes what and how you sell yourself. sometimes what you have written turns them off too.
>>17162522
Thanks for the feedback. Despite my most complimented feature being my eyes I always felt that there was a clash, and I guess that confirms it!
I do work out, had to stop for a while but will be continuing soon.
Just a bit concerned for my privacy really. I try not to plaster my face on the internet if I can help it!
4chan, what are the worst accidents in history caught on camera, like the challenger 1 or 9/11?
>>17162523
I've actually gotten more attention from my facial hair pics than I have from my clean-shaven pic of me smiling. =/
>>17162529
>i try not to plaster my face
which is why i mentioned that you DO plaster your face, so why not here?
>eyes are most complimented
i could see why. they are extremely pretty. but thast the problem, the rest of it looks weird. get back to working out. ill give you my copy paste but its mostly geared towards americans in larger population areas.
>>17162529
>>17162537
advice
>dont just hit on a woman
its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.
give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.
doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.
>>17162537
I don't though? This is quite literally the first time a pic of me has ever been sent through 4chan.
>>17162539
>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.
dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in
so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.
they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.
if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.
you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.
it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.
>>17162545
>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
>>17162551
>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!
and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.
Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.
