I recently learned my boyfriend of 3 years has an okcupid account, which he previously told me he deleted. For about a month last fall he was talking to a girl he met on okcupid and had been lying to me about it; told me multiple times he wasn't speaking to her because I requested it. He finally admitted to it but maintained that it was fully platonic. He let me read some of the texts, many if which upset me greatly, i.e. texts calling her "babydoll" and saying "your smiles make my day". I broke up with him and moved out. He spent the night pursuing me and apologizing and I did take him back (I know.) Now, I saw the other day that the app was on the phone and asked what was going on. He told me he reenabled it one day during a fight and didn't use it since. He confessed to messaging two girls, unromantically, about pets. I asked him to promise if that was all and he promised it was. I asked him to delete it and he said he would. Now, two weeks later, I ask if it's deleted while laying in bed last night. He says it's not yet. I then feel aware of a suspicion I haven't been able to shake and say I know he messaged more than two girls. He confirms this. I'm crying feeling horrible and ask if I can read the messages. He says no but that they're fine because he wasn't misbehaving. I start packing my stuff even though we live together and I have nowhere to go. When he falls asleep, I check it on his phone and see its automatically logged in. I need advice
I'm not perfect but I do get attention from men and I don't take them up on it just because it's there. I'm working, in school, I cook, do basically anything he wants sex-wise. I feel like he's crushed my self esteem to a point where I can take infinite abuse from him and there are no boundaries because it's "his" apartment, car, pets, etc., technically.
Seriously? Coming from another girl, what the fuck? Why can't you move out? No money? Go to your family or friends.
>>17160956
If that's a picture of you, you're fit
I didn't read your full thing but you say he's been on OkCupid, fair enough
Look it's up to you what you do in these situations isn't it. Challenge him, see what he says. If you're satisfied with the response, stay. If you're not (and if you think you can do better elsewhere) then go
We can't decide for you, it's your call isn't it
>>17161021
Ignore the 'OP' name, that was from my own thread
>>17160956
Leave, you don't deserve it. He's an asshole.
People are what they are. You can't make a housewife out of a whore, and crying over that won't change it.
You're not married, thank goodness, and it's no sin to end a relationship that has no future. The sin, if any, comes in staying together past the natural lifespan in a relationship and cutting into time better spent in search of more meaningful relationships. Time, especially, for you, is not on your side, as a woman.
You can blame him for having a wandering eye only because he's trying to keep you AND pursue others. I'm sure he's struggling with that, and it would be interesting to hear his justifications- the ones you site are pretty juvenile- the fact that you either haven't asked him to delete his cheating apps right there, of that he didn't do so right in front of you are both very significant things.
Ultimately, my own opinion, you're at the tail end of the relationship. Love and the well-being and support of the other are not longer paramount in your actions as a couple, and, generally, even when one of you is in a temporary crisis, that stuff just doesn't come back easily. Up to you, if you want to stay on the sinking ship a little longer, the destination is the same, anyways.
This is pretty much a no brainer for anyone with even a trace amount of self respect.
>>17160915
Break up with him and make it final. Cut of all contact and delete his numbers/ block him. Guys like him never learn. You are just the bitch he knows he can go back to matter what.
Have some self respect, fucking hell.
Leave!!!!!!!!!!!! I was in a same situation and suffered and didn't respect myself and stayed with him for year while I knew he cheated. Then I left him and got happy. Life is great now without that cheating bastard.
I mean, at least he isn't fucking them right.
I'm sorry you're going through this OP, some people are just real heartless bastards.
You need to get out of there. Get away from him and never go back. Cut him out and move on.
Dump him. He's not physically cheating yet, but he will - and then you'll really go fucking crazy and become bitter/jaded. Go back to your parents, or your friends. You're a beautiful girl if that's you in the pic, and you sound sincere- you'll have no problems finding someone else.
>>17160956
wtf man, you're qt, just dump him, spend some time alone. Nobody deserves to be cheated on
>>17160915
Your boyfriend is retarded, and so are you for putting up with his shit. Break up and stay broken up; his behavior shows a pattern of dishonesty, an inability to learn from his own mistakes, a lack of willpower and fidelity, and a desire to "punish" you when upset.
He has a lot of growing up to do, and you're not his mommy. You deserve a relationship with someone who earns and keeps your trust, not someone who leaves you lying awake at night and paranoid.
>>17160956
I used to be a cunt like him. He'll persistently abuse your trust because you're pandering to his needs rather than asserting and investing yourself in your own. Sympathy from strangers will only go so far. I believe in you OP, do it please.
>>17160915
You're pretty chill about getting cheated on so maybe you'll be cool with him cheating on you from now on. Or maybe you want to be the kind of person who has some self respect and leaves that asshole.
Feeling bad because he's looking for other women while he's with you? Don't be he's a fucking cunt and that's on him not you. Doesn't matter how cute you are, how good of a cook you are or how you are in bed there's no cure to being a cunt.
You could look like a model or a cow and he'll still be a cunt.
