Hey guys it's been a while but I've recently been wondering if I've been worrying too much about not being very good at conversation when talking to women I like. If so, I think it's been holding me back from going on more dates and so I want to know just how important talking is and whether silence (as long as it isn't too long) is a bad thing when going on dates.
Pic is unrelated
I guess I should preface that I am already friends with the girl in question and we can have good conversations, but it's not all the time and usually it's when we're doing/watching something. So is not having conversation ALL THE TIME a problem or do we have to constantly be in conversation mode?
bamp
>>17159646
Being a good talker is moslty about being a good listener. Asking the right questions and making the right time to make jokes.
>>17159646
1. Chill out because the more you think about things, probably the more nervous you will get.
2. Pauses are perfectly okay and natural. These happen in conversation and its dumb to think they dont.
3. You are not talking to "women" you are talking to her. Do not fall trap to universal conversation topics because they dont exist. Or at least, interesting ones dont. Get to know HER and talk to her about HER life. And tell related stories about your own.
4. You're just people. Women are just people.
>>17159790
I can definitely listen to things really well and sometimes I don't really have anything to say
>>17159798
I guess the main question is how often do people on dates talk to each other and whether it would be okay for a first date to be somewhere we could have fun with less talking rather than talking?
Mostly you just gotta be able to initiate. Then you gotta be good at pretending to give a shit about her shit
>>17159813
The problem seems to come when she doesn't reciprocate anything new to the conversation and I run out of things to say because we're both not great with conversation.
>>17159812
Find shared interests and discuss those, like if she likes the same type of music you do ask her if she's ever listened to a specific band or song
Similar for first date but if you are still unsure then make the first date somewhere interesting where you can just talk about what's around you if you have trouble keeping the conversation going
>>17159823
Is it enough to just talk about the things we like
>>17159847
of course. Whatever works best for you two is what's enough.
>>17159646
Conversation is super easy if you don't have some kind of social anxiety.
Consider this scenario: You're meeting a girl you met online for the first time. You've chatted a little bit and know some basic stuff about her. You meet her at a bar or a park or something, and the first option you have is to tread familiar territory. Ask where she works or what she does, whether or not she's already told you. Use some non-linear thinking to ask her questions about it. Something boring like retail? Ask about the products or customers. Student? Even easier, ask questions related to the subject or why she's interested.
Questions are the lifeblood of good conversation. Learning about the subject, learning about her, it's all good. The flipside of this, of course, is if she is asking you questions. Could be that she isn't, which means she's actually the one flatfooted in the conversation game.
You just need to chill out. People love talking about themselves. Questions are key to any good conversation or date.
>>17159886
I believe so because she doesn't really talk much when we hang out with our friends
As long as you aren't talking for the sake of talking you are ok.
But that's just me, some silence on a second or even first date is not necessarily a terrible thing. Being able to be comfortable near someone is important rather than just talk and talk and talk.
>>17159929
>Talking for the sake of talking
This is more of what I was looking an answer for. Anything else?
one last bump before I'm off I'm glad to know that I shouldn't be worried when someone isn't talking
