I lost the ability to get crushes on guys
When I was a teenager I would get dizzy and overwhelmed and not be able to eat and think about the guy constantly
Now I don't get that way about anyone and I'm in my early twenties.
I really want to have a crush again though.
I don't know why I've become like this. I've never been in a relationship so that wouldn't have anything to do with it
You're either broken by too much dick or there are no decent guys around you.
It's an alluring prospect to be sure...
But only on the surface. You should take advantage of your inability to feel deep affections by focusing more on developing yourself.
>>17159188
I don't see how I can't focus on developing myself and get crushes at the same time
It happens. It's just that when you're older you feel things less intensely than you were in your teens. I had my first crush since high school on my coworker. You DON'T want a crush. It's the shittiest feeling ever because you end up thinking about them constantly and it doesn't go away unless you find a turn off or someone else to have a crush on. All assuming this is a crush in the traditional sense: having feelings for someone you can't have.
>>17159196
I didn't say that.
I just meant that its significantly easier to do so when your mind isn't occupied by something that will only work to destroy you.
>>17159223
I would rather have a crush
Congratulations, you've grown up. Welcome to adulthood.
But yeah, as you grow and "mature" you become less emotionally sensitive. This means no more crushes.
>>17159187
There are plenty of decent guys around me
>>17159178
I think it happens with age
>be a teen and have tons of crushes but no sex
>be an adult have tons of sex but no crushes
It might be different for guys, but there is a line from this movie Stuck in Love that goes:
>There are two types of guys in this world. The ones who see a beautiful girl and get infatuated and convince themselves she is the one, and the ones who see a beautiful girl and realize she is no different than all the other beautiful girls and he fucks her like he fucks all the other beautiful girls.
I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point.
>>17159741
Yeah I never got crushes on beautiful girls, just conventionally unattractive guys
i thought that has happened to me too. turns out i just stopped crushing on every guy coming my way and spared that for one that's really worth it. i crushed hard on my now bf. harder than i have ever crushed on any guy. complete with loss of appetite, smiling like an idiot for no reason, constantly having him on my mind, getting insane butterflies when seeing him, skyhigh hearthbeat when making eye- or bodycontact. and i'm 27. i think when it hits you at that age, it hits you HARD.
>>17159178
I think it's just your hormones settling down once you're not a teenager anymore
I've never had a crush before tbqh
>>17160858
How old are you?
>>17159178
How many relationships have you been in?
How much non-relationship sex?
People get hardened to these things over time, it takes major effort to resensitize yourself to those emotions.
Especially depends on how much you've desensitized yourself with meaningless relationships, non-consequential flirting, intentional exposure to adverse stimuli, etc (hardening other than simply through time and daily pressure of life).
Guys do this on purpose since being colder and harder is considered a good thing for men in the dating game (unfortunately). Same with higher confidence: if you've been punched in the head 10,000 times like a boxer, you'll have a high tolerance to getting punched in the head, but you'll also have some brain problems.
>>17160857
This, many girls aren't really desensitized, they can still feel this way towards certain guys. Maybe your tastes/"type" have changed, OP?
Perhaps a change of environment would be in order?
>qt modded grill in OP
>OP likes conventionally unattractive guys
Do I need to "just walk away" again?
>>17159178
Haha aw. I don't get crushes on guys anymore either. I find guys attractive- I'll give you that, but I don't really find potential in them. Let's date each other? :)
help me /adv/
i love a grill, she loves me back, but we're never gonna meet each other;
exept in like 2 or 3 years but i dont fucking know if we could maintain a fucking long distance relationship that long
i fucking hate this shit
pls help me
>>17159178
There are two key parts to attraction, compatibility and chemistry. Chemistry is the unpredictable factor that you can't really plan on and is what infatuation is heavily based on. You'll probably end up meeting a guy that will give you those sparks again. You probably felt more sparks when you were younger because you haven't really come to terms with yourself emotionally and we're looking for hard for outside stimulation. Now that you've grown up a bit you take compatibility more into consideration which kind of dulls those instant "ooh I gotta be with him" feels.
