Do girls really come to you adv family?
I've tried everything to get a gf, and people say you find love when you least expect it, so should I just stop trying?
my advice has always been to simply live your life as enjoyably as you can, but to externalize your hobbies so that you are still meeting people
a guy who wakes up, goes to work, comes home, and plays video games all day, isn't going to get the chance to meet a woman. you gotta go out. but bars and such are not for everyone, and dating apps quickly become toxic.
so you gotta make sure to externalize your hobbies. and no matter what your hobbies are there are always ways to externalize them.
a big problem here is that you are starting ot think of a gf as an appliance. humans want to connect. but what you are doing is describing something both so distinct and so vague that you aren't approaching women as people. i dont mean that in a feminist way, cuz fuck that. but you yourself are going to have trouble connecting with a person if you do not see them as a person. and they are not going to like being treated as an object. the following copy pasta will hopefully help.
>>17158138
If you're attractive then yes otherwise no. It's just the way of the world. If you aren't good looking it is you who has to chase and try to convince them that your unattractiveness is worth overlooking.
>>17158142
advice
>dont just hit on a woman
its no secret that women are the ones who are approached, and they make decisions on which men to keep in their lives. that being said, desperately drooling over each and every girl as if they are a potential love interest is silly.
give yourself more value by not letting a woman sway you on first impressions alone. before you ever begin to say anything remotely flirtatious, talk to the girl. see what she actually acts like when you interact with her. have a normal conversation. if there isnt anything special there beyond her looks, friendzone her. or simply stop talking to her. you do not need to hit on each and every girl that looks good enough to be your partner.
doing this gives you more value, and the psychological effects are great. in addition, women will take you more seriously. instead of being 1 of 500 men in new york who went straight for the kill, you took the time to get to know them. whether it goes anywhere or not, this approach also just gives you practice talking to girls in a casual context. its less pressure than trying to impress them.
>>17158145
>only ever use dating apps as a supplement to your real life dating.
dating apps are toxic. consider the following
>people use dating apps because they arent having much luck in real life
>they go to a dating app where they are introduced to an entire smorgasbord of men who want nothing more than to bang and/or date them
>after just one day they will have seen everyone in their area
>within one week they would have talked to everyone they are interested in
so anyone who has been using the app for more than a few weeks clearly has some sort of issue. likely, they are the female equivelent of what i discussed in my first post.
they want a 'bf' but because they have a very specific idea of what a bf is, they arent finding it anywhere. instead of seeing if they have real chemistry, they are simply walking down the aisle, trying to figure out what is the ONE thing at the groccery store they can buy, based solely on pictures and labels.
if a woman is on tinder for too long, they are losing their ability to feel chemistry.
you as a man can fall into a very similar pattern here, but with the added harshness of constant rejection.
it is an app made for people who want to date, yet no one seems to have success there for very long. that should tell you something.
>>17158147
>but anon, how do i use it as a supplement to an existing dating life if i dont have a dating life.
effort. lots and lots of effort. and also, doing what you like. going out is in no way restricted to bars and clubs, though if that is what you enjoy, by all means, go to bars and clubs.
the truest way to find chemistry is to experience your life in the most enjoyable way, and see how you match with the people who come into it. interacting with someone in a casual way shows you how you ACTUALLY get along, not how you hope to get along cuz you really want this to work cuz you need a gf.
so write down a list of all your hobbies, and find a way to externalize them. most people live at least near a city these days.
go to any and all hobby shops and ask about local events. gun shops might have hunting trips. or you can just go to a shooting range. comic book stores have game nights. or live commentary movie nights. if these shops do not host events, offer to host one through them, after all it will only lead to more money through them.
you can even go to a more casual store, lets say, a book store, and stand in your favorite aisle (lets say, horror). talk to everyone who comes by looking for a book. ask what book they are looking for. tell them what book you are looking at. try to spark a conversation abotu your favorite author. maybe take some suggestions. if you really hit it off, try to trade numbers.
its okay if it doesnt pan out. this isnt a scoring system. there is no man in a cloack in space making down on a cosmic chalkboard how many failed conversations you had. 99% of interaction is dumb. you are waiting for the 1% and enjoying talking about your favorite things with strangers until then.
>>17158147
Please stop with this
Seriously you fucking post this in every god damn thread
>>17158142
I'm always so tired after work, and I meet a shit load people where I work and talk to a lot of them
I'm not some asspie either
I've heard they do. But I'm almost 26 and while I do know and talk to multiple women, they're mainly part of my job, and I've never been in a relationship or had sex. I also work with a guy who's in his early forties and in what I assume is the same situation.
I figure that they do come to you if you're a normal person who comes into contact with people on a semi-regular basis that aren't part of your job. If not, then they won't.
So find a hobby that takes up your time and masturbate when you feel lonely, is my advice to you.
>>17158150
>but anon, going outside somewhere to find out if maybe they have an event doesnt suit my lazy lifestyle!!1!
and for those who simply cannot bring themselves to get up out of the house without a guarantee go to meetup.com and look for something of your interest. no matter what your interest it is on there in a group you can meet with. and if not, you can start your own meet up.
Now, some of you may argue that these sorts of tailored events are attended mostly by men. yes. mostly. but some women too. whats important here is you will be doing something you love, with people who love what you love, and when the right ladies come along you'll know they love it too. you will have that common ground.
>>17158158
I'm so fucking tired from work though I sleep like 12 hours a day and the rest of the time I work
Then I come home late at night and just watch stupid YouTube shit while I eat dinner and go to bed
On my days off I just try to rest and sleep so it's not hell when I go back
>>17158164
>>17158138
For anymore help OP we'd need to see a picture of you and you need to be realistic about standards. most guys are like this
>im average (or slightly above average)
>but i see uglier guys get with hot girls so i assume im special enough to get one too
and it ruins them. though if you post a pic we can give make over advice.
>>17158151
>please stop with this
no
>you fucking post this in every god damn thread
every thread where people are looking to meet girls or new friends. ergo, its relevant. do you want me to tailor advice to the same vague posts every time? this is an extensive guide and 90% of the OPs respond to it.
if it bugs you that much, its a copy paste you can easily filter it mate.
just cuz its the same advice doesnt mean its not relevant. it works for people, they respond well to it, why hide it from them.
>>17158154
>im so tired after work
so?
>i meet a shit load of people and talk to a lot of them
thats great. but you arent getting a gf out of it.
>im not asspie either
which is great, makes it even easier for you.
>>17158164
Yeah yeah I know acne
And no I'm not fat, I've got a baby face.
>>17158181
>not fat
you can still have fat and not be traditionally fat. you might be able to stand to lose a few pounds. it might thin out your face. consider it. as for acne i have a copy pasta for that to.
>>17158181
>>17158185
Acne isnt as simple as parents made it out to be. if its only in one location its usually caused by a specific problem (for example (thisi s wrong but for example) acne on the nose would be a dairy issue). I had acne on my chin only, and thats a hormonal issue. however i cannot fix that as a dude (whereas women could just take birth control etc).
there are two approaches that worked well for me. the first is how i went from pic related to second pic related.
>tretinoin in the morning
>salicylic acne wash in the shower
>moisturizer after / as needed
>erythromicin at night
tretinoin is prescription but you can order online as well. you rub it on to your skin and it peels it fast, causing your acne to fall right off. thats.
salicylic acne wash is basic acne wash you can get at most any store. i get mine at rite aid.
moisturizer stops your face from drying itself out, which prevents your skin from getting damaged and/or over producing oils which makes more acne.
erythromicin topical gel is an antio biotic used to treat acne, however instead of applying it your stomach, you apply it to your face before bed. it attacks the bacteria right on your face, killing acne before it starts.
I used all 4 together and it wokred pretty well, but it was annoying. way too much of my day was dedicated to treating my acne, not eating foods, trying to find ways to scratch an itch without touching myface. if i was making out with a girl and she happened to rub her fingers across my face, you can bet your savings that id have acne on the part of my chin she touched.
i got so frustrated i went ahead and started taking accutane. i was nervous but within the first month i had no acne. i had to quit one week into the third month (of 5 months) but my acne still hasnt returned and for that im grateful. i can sleep face down, scratch my chin, eat whatever i want. its awesome.
>>17158185
Even when I was 50 pounds lighter before I started working out I looked the same in my face
It's not going away
>>17158166
12 hours? That sucks. I thought my job was bad, 8-10 hours a day. When I get home usually all I do is eat, watch anime and play videogames until I go to sleep. I tend to cut down on sleep because I usually see it as a waste of time.
>>17158193
Acutane fucked my brother up, I don't want to take it.
>>17158198
When you work in a ghetto ass arcade where you have to deal with niggers and spics 24/7 you're fucking drained at the end of the night
>>17158202
thats fine, still have the other 4 treatment options i mentioned. good luck mate.
>>17158204
What I don't understand though is how acne and a baby face can prevent any fucking girl from not finding me attractive
I mean come on man
>>17158202
That job sounds the pits, man, I feel for you. I work in a call centre and deal with people on a daily basis, it makes me want to avoid having to deal with more outside of work; but at least I don't have to meet them face to face.
>>17158208
>how can acne prevent a woman from finding mye attractive
i wouldnt even say you are baby faced btqh fampai, but if you cant understand why acne is gross idk what to tell you
>>17158220
Yeah but I mean fucking is it so bad not one girl will find anything else attractive enough to look past it
>>17158138
>and people say you find love when you least expect it,
Yes because as soon as you focus on your own life and achieve your own goals and be your own man love comes along. You love people for who they are. If you are some desperate nobody no one will like you.
>so should I just stop trying?
Yeah. Get your shit together first.
>>17158232
remember when i said:
>>17158173
>im average (or slightly above average)
>but i see uglier guys get with hot girls so i assume im special enough to get one too
you arent particularly attractive. fat face, and acne. so why do you think you deserve something better? sure you have a great personality, but if thats whats important, why dont you settle for an ugly girl with a nice personality?
unless you got some real muscles under that shirt, i dont see why you are putting yourself on a pedestal. you work at an arcade and are casual racist.
>>17158251
This one nailed it. Not to be mean though, you're not a monster or so but you're a 3/10 whereas your potential is 7/10.
You really would be A LOT more attractive if you lost weight btw
>>17158338
i wouldnt say hes a 3/10. hes a 4/10 on bad days. 5/10 on good days (which is to say, just a sexless appearance).
he claims he'd still have a round face even when he was 50 pounds lighter, but it doesnt look like he has much muscle. i dont know
his potential does look to be a handsome/hot 6/10 (as opposed to cute 6, which might as well be a 5)
>>17158347
Here's body pic
I used to be scrawny as fuck
Honestly besides some fat in my stomach and my huge ass, there's nothing else that seems to be an issue
>>17158138
Post a pic
>>17158471
>besides me being fat theres nothing else that seems to be an issue
what? do you see what you are doing here. you are like that really fat chick who rationalizes that 'im only fat, the rest of me is beautiful'.
you are fat, and unless you have awesome face stuff going on, it makes you look ugly. being fat is ugly. you also have acne.
you dont look good. you could if you lost weight. and if you got rid of the acne with the medications i described. yours isnt nearly as bad as mine was:
>>17158185
but unless you want to lower your standards by a helluva a lot you cant sit down and rationalize that being fat, pimpled, casual racist working at an arcade is just one little thing that could be overlooked.
you are not attractive on the surface. but your face isnt totally shit so if you lost weight and cleared up the zits you will stand more than a chance.
>>17158471
post picture shirtless too if you want to back up the 'its only on my stomach claim' not that thats attractive. but you do look man booby.
>>17158489
I don't understand why you think I'm fat, honestly.
You're right about the face but what on me is fat besides the face?
>>17158498
I have stretch mark scars all over my shoulder, I really dont like showing it
Proof here
>>17158502
you literally said stomach and ass.
if you disagree post pictures of you shirtless. you have to remember that just because you are proportionately fat doesn't mean you are attractive.
>>17158510
It's flat from my chest down
Like I said there's some fat, but I don't think it's enough to notice
Look you're clearly delusional, so let me make something clear for you.
You are a completely unremarkable unattractive person, both mentally and physically.
You dress like shit. You have no confidence. Your posture is terrible. You project an aura of insecurity. Your body looks like shit. You're podgy. you have acne.
Love just happens is a family members way of saying "you have years of work to do on your personality and body, until then good luck". You need to sort out of how you dress. You need to gain some confidence. You need to sort out your body.
Otherwise, don't expect anything more than a 5/10 uggo.
>>17158539
except for how we noticed it right when we saw your face, and then noticed you had man boobs when you had a shirt on. and yes, you do have man boobs. small ones, but they exist.
it is more than enough to notice. you are fat. and no woman will look at you and think 'WOW HE WOULD LOOK GOOD WITH HIS SHIRT OFF'.
lose weight. its not that hard. that or settle for an even fatter woman.
that dude is a fat sack of shit
>>17158554
Hey, OP. This guy's right, but that's some pretty harsh truths.
I'm here to present an alternative route: anime. Sure, it may not be real, but it's a hell of a lot easier and more satisfying than the stuff this guy said.
Plus, with the way computers and VR are progressing, I give it ten years tops (maybe even five!) until there's a decent virtual waifu out there that will be able to satisfy you spiritually and physically. Not too far!
>>17158554
Now that's just fucking harsh
>>17158555
I guess you're right
I'll look into losing weight
>>17158589
Look I can prance around the topic telling you it will all be fine and that life will just make things ok but that's not the truth.
I wasted my youth doing that and there's no need for you to do the same.
You have the advice and knowledge that I wished I'd have been given back when I was younger.
Just work out and a lot of the rest will come. It really isn't hard to do and you'll gain a lot of confidence.
Think about it, OP. You could probably settle for someone unattractive, that doesn't wiggle your winky, out of desperation or fear some time down the road. Or you can try and work out, maybe fail and wreck your self-esteem, maybe succeed but still remain inexplicably unpopular.
But anime gives you an endless parade of beautiful women to ogle, purposely designed to make you feel good. At least tell me you'll give it a go.
>>17158489
he isnt fat though, he is a bit chubby, he can still be healthy and pull girl at his weight. i think he looks better than really skinny guys.
>>17158589
its not too hard man. go down to smart and final and go to the frozen section and look at what veggies they have. a lot of bang for your buck. get corn, get green beans, califlower, brocoli, carrots, whatever you like, and try to try new things.
consider getting berries for dessert. get a bottle of hershey syrup.
1 cup of greenbeans with 1 tablespoon butter is only 140 calories.
1 cup of strawberries with 1 tablespoon of hershey syrup is only 150 calories.
if you burn 2000 calories a day, you need to eat 1500 calories a day to lose weight.
assuming the basic metric of 1 cup of veggies or 1 cup of fruit (with butter of syrup for flavor) thats ten fucking meals a day. and it will be filling.
but you dont have to stop there. most meats are only 800 calories a pound. so consider eating 1 half pound in the morning. then fruit and veg to snack on until afternoon where you eat another half pound.
assuming you eat ap ound of meat a day you can still ahve two servings of veggies and tw more servings of fruits.
just saying theres a lot of way s to get your cravings out and stil leat healthy at a decifit.
good luck man. theres a thousand ways to do it just remember calories in calories out. you dont need to starve.
worse case scenario eat carrots, its like 3 bucks for 5 pounds
>>17158609
Chubby is fat, it's just a lesser degree of fat. And I'd argue he's not chubby, he's straight up fat anyway.
>>17158609
>he isnt fat though
define fat. you say chubby. others say fat. does it matter? girls do not generally like chubby or fat guys. i stated that hes not some morbidly obese 400 pound schmuck, but if girls were into him then he wouldnt be here complaining about how he cant bang girls.
he could pull some ugly or fat chicks sure.
he probably doesent get girls because he has poor social skills. im an 8 but i still have to put effort in most of the time, the only time girls will try to get on me is if they are drunk, and even then its rare. my brother is like a 5, and he does pretty well with girls because he is funny and confident. if op sorted out his acne, his face would looks fine. he should obviously watch his weight but with clothes on, i dont even think his weight is an issue. plenty of girls like guys that are his size. in that full size pic of him, his body looks alright. if he lifted weights, and lost a stone of fat, he would look great.
>>17158662
I wouldn't say I have poor social skills
Social skills is pretty much my job, and I don't find it hard to strike up conversations with strangers and meet people
I guess girls just don't find me attractive
Rarely. But they often drop some hints.
>>17159093
My college attending son gets girls all of the time. Then he'll go through a dry spell for months. Then he'll get one girl and suddenly a bunch are hitting on him.
Girls can smell when you want a girl and it turns them away. I know this makes no fucking sense.
Forget about them, be friendly but not really looking and focus on developing yourself.
Suddenly girls will come to you.
>>17159102
According to the thread, main reason is my looks it seems, not that I want a gf
>>17158138
im a girl and ive always had to approach guys cause theyre too damn shy
>>17159127
>According to the thread, main reason is my looks it seems, not that I want a gf
You are getting bad advice. Your looks are fine. Open your eyes and look around. There are a bunch of trolls who look way worse than you that have girls, hot girls. Work on your personality and how to converse with people. Get an interesting hobby like riding a motorcycle or rock climbing. Pursue some passion.
The girls will come.
>>17159157
I appreciate it, but maybe those guys are right, I think it would make sense that I'm unattractive to the opposite sex.
I do need to pursue a hobby, I agree
But I still have no issue with conversing with people, I swear on me mum. My personality could use some work though.
>>17159130
As a girl, do you think I'm as unattractive as those guys are saying?
>>17158138
I notice women crushing on me and if everything's good then I'll initiate.
>>17159384
What's sad is at my job jailbait is all over me
The fucking 14 year olds are always showing good body language and all that
Hurts tbqh famalam
