>always really nice to people
>as nice as I can be
>really want to see people happy
>people love me at work
>no one wants to hangout with me when I'm home
>feel like people only temporarily enjoy my prescence
>feel lonely all the time and like no one truly wants to be around me.
What do I do /adv/? Should I be more mean? I don't want to be mean. I just want to make people really happy but it seems as though the more people I make happy the more no one comes around. It's starting to make me kind of depressed, and makes me feel like I should be lonely.
>>17156073
Take that fedora off and be more aggressive. No one likes a pussy buzzkill.
Be fun. What do you do? Invite people to a fun thing
>>17156117
I'm always offering to pick people up and go to cafe's, or a show or something.
>>17156112
Why though? I don't like being aggressive.
People want to be around others who are just having fun by themselves. Entice them by having fun regardless if they come with you or not. Do stuff you like to do OP. The people that would join you on these things are worth keeping around anyway.
>>17156187
I like staying up til midnight and asking people if they wanna go to awful break fast places and talk about life.
I also enjoy singing but am not confident enough to do it in public.
Ah, OP, no wonder you're depressed. Lemme give you some advice.
Treating people as humans is like a neck tie: it makes you look and feel great, but you will get pulled into heartless machinery by it and come out the other side looking quite the worse for wear.
>>17156073
>>17156251
ktf op
I would be your friend irl
These normies wont understand.
Are you touchy too? I noticed that people in the US hate being French about physical contact.
>>17156268
Normies really are starting to bring me down.
I used to enjoy being part normie and helping people out, but lately I feel heavy and the thought of dealing with anymore people.
I am very touchy, people should hug, be physical, more and be less sensitive. I think people don't understand physical contact and it's context. Contact doesn't mean sexual, it means you're comfortable with the humans you're around in my opinion.
>>17156260
I've started to notice this trend. It's like advocating bad habits equivocates goodness in people's eyes because most people are reflective of sympathy, as opposed to genuine love and curiosity. I feel this is a huge reason people don't put passion into what they love.
Your a rare person OP.
You want care for the world when the world doesn't care for you, you think you can take one the problems of the world but you know your only one man. You're not a fedora tipper, you're one of the rare few who found his way right in he middle of the road, the perfect amount of conditioning to make a great person.
But you're not great. Because the human race will never be there for you at your level, and that's the sad truth of many like you. Most people are in prices of getting chewed up by life but you're one of the rare few holding the jaws of life as high as you can and still enjoying it, but your muscles are starting to feel the tension and your about to start getting chewed up. You'll be one of the last ones in the machine. Sorry man.
I'm the same as you OP.
You belong to /r9k/, not /adv/. You'll feel more comfortable when you realise everyone there is just like you (beside the normies and summer).
I always used to invite everyone I know to go and do something but nobody ever wanted. I'm not fat, I don't talk loud, I don't behave badly. For some reason they are repulsed by me.
Hey there op, I came here to tell you that I am exactly like you and have the same problem, I feel like if I was an anime character I would be the friend of the main character that nobody else likes and has no character development, that or a background character (?).
I think you should stop caring less about what other people think and do more of what you like and find people that share interests with you, so you don't have to talk about something else (oh and be less judging)
Sounds like you fell for the /r9k/ "I'm too nice so people don't like me" meme. Most likely you are not as nice as you think.
Also, stop poisoning your mind with /r9k/. Anyone who uses the word "normie" unironically is a piece of shit that deserves everything coming to him.
>>17156073
You don't need to start being mean you need to stop beimg dull. Being nice doesn't make you interesting, in fact it is the most generic personality trait possible.
Been here before. People notice it but just don't give a fuck and take it for granted. Stop being nice and be more neutral. If nobody notices anything is off then nobody gave a fuck to begin with. You are worth something.
>>17156359
I guess I'm a normal person?
I do exactly what op does too, but it's an approach thing.
>>17156073
Act carefree and happy and just let it ride. If people like you there they will eventually ask you to go out to parties and whatnot. Stay strong OP
>>17156073
Stop being a people pleaser, its impossible to be a completely selfless person you need to start to satisfy your own needs and make them known not others needs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPDPtt-eCn0
>>17156839
This guy is probably right. I know plenty of guys who are these "really nice" fedora wearing neckbeards but nobody likes them because they are really pushy and just annoying try hards.
You say you have people at work who like you OP, see if you can build anything out of that.
You'll get there OP, I believe in you.
>>17156805
please keep in mind that you can create your own character development anon.
>>17157114
OP Here.
I might have gave off the wrong impression. I don't mean I'm being nice because that gets me lots of friends, I'm a considerate caring person who really likes making people happy. I really enjoy making people super happy. My problem I'm having, is I'm making people super happy, but I don't have anyone around when my spontaneity calls for it. It bugs me, because I really wish I had some more people around me, but I feel really isolated lately and it's bothering me. I genuinely want people to be happy, and I don't think anyone takes advantage of me, I believe people would miss me if I left work tomorrow, but my problem is, I wouldn't miss them and that bothers me. I want to feel more connected and concerned to people, and I feel like I have a difficult time doing that, and I just want friends to appreciate how much I love being a really lovely person.
>>17156073
Enjoy it, OP.
It never ends!
>>17156073
There is such a thing as being too nice.
Also, people like when someone is nice to them specifically, it makes them feel special and that they have a special bond. But when a person is nice to everyone, then its not special anymore.
Also, the most nice people often do not jave any substancial personality, they are more like doormats with the personality of wet cardboard. As in - fucking boring.
These days, no one likes to be bored
>>17156073
OP, No one will just invite you out, people aren't like that these days.
You have to take the initiative. If you are going somewhere, just ask a couple of people if they are interested in going too. Sometimes they will, sometimes they won't.
Once you start doing this a few times and building up a small network, you will get asked to come to more places.
Think about the person you want to be around with.
Try to be that person. If that's already who you are then it's just a matter of being more out there.
>>17156073
Relax op relax just chill out. You don't need to do all the time something with people. See it like this you have your work/school/etc after this your freetime is for that you like. Pick Up some sports maybe or go to the gym dont know and relax the silence or if you feeling really Alone get some beer and get some vidya online Problems solved Case closed noone of you faggots need to give more advice
OP, can you give an example of how you make someone "super happy?" Like one of your workmates. Just so we have a definition.
>>17156073
Being an extra nice person isn't something a lot of people think to hang out with, you are nice, but what else? A lot of people are nice, most people are nice. Being nice is not something that seperates you and makes you fun. Having a personality makes you fun. People don't want to hang out with the "nice" guy because they are usually boring
>tfw I'm like OP
>tfw I had that problem of people rarely inviting me to anything by themselves
>found a friend who's different personality wise but has similar experiences, hobbies and sense of morality so we never run out of fun topics
>she invites me to her place often just to drink beer and hang out
>also introduced me to her sister (who also has similar hobbies etc) who's often dropping by so we hang out in three
>the sister hits me up for hanging out too sometimes
>I also met a girl through Tinder whom I didn't find attractive in the end but we hit off because again similarities
>she also asks me to hang out once a week or so
One day, you'll find some people who will like you enough to want to be around you a lot of time, I guess?
I think the key is similar hobbies. With all people I'd call friends we had mutual hobbies. I have a lot of acquintances to whom I talk about "life", but of course they won't invite me to hang out often - I mean, they probably prefer to talk to somebody who gets excited about the same stuff as them, not some guy who's passionate about different thing altogether.
