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Keep your questions short for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. Don't complain that this isn't helpful; stupid questions deserve answers like this.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>Brandon, that one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off
Reposting because old thread just died
Girls and guys
>Have you ever been in a rebound relationship?
>How was the experience, was it beneficial in the long run?
>How long was your previous relationship?
>How long did your rebound last?
I'm 18 and have a cool car but an entry level job. Will I find a nice girl who could be interested in me?
Hey,
I'm an Asian male, average height, dress well, intelligent, attractive.... but I'm also super asocial and depressed.
It's easy for me to get female attraction but I'm such an asocial fuck it hurts sometimes. But the worst part is that the only girl I truly love is my cousin. Yeah, it's fucked, but I've only met her twice in my life and I keep putting her on the pedestal.
Do most girls give a damn about feminism?
How do you (romantically) deal with a girl whose a feminist ?
>>17152917
I wouldn't label myself a feminist, but I don't want to date a guy who has sexist attitudes
>>17152885
Okay
>>17152882
Probably
>>17152870
Nope
N/A
Still in my first relationship
N/A
>>17152917
Where i live such feminism isnt a big thing
Real feminists like my mom and my friend or even my ex dont care and actually dislike social justice stuff as it brings nothing but shoves it down your throat without consent
There is a message in that bit right there I'll leave it up to you
But srsly as a guy i have no issues with female leads in games/movies etc, i like it
I also dobt care about skin color and religion but if you start cutting my rights, paycheck or bither me with the nonsense yes its going to become annoying
>>17152882
Guy here. This isn't a question you ask girls. You ask a fisherman how to fish not a fish.
Are you aware of the concept of beta bux, alpha fucks? You will not get a girl who actually likes you if your basing your value on your ability to provide resources (beta). You will get a girl who will take advantage of you while fucking someone else (an alpha).
Hit the gym, talk to girls, work on your confidence, dominance, and personality in general if you want a "nice girl."
Gf keeps saying I dont "understand her" "this is how she really is" after acting really trashy while drunk for the second time. It made me pretty mad.
Tried to give me an ultimatum but I talked her out of it. Should I just end it already. She's deeply in love with me and I really enjoy her company but Im getting tired of her shit
>>17152968
Yes
>>17152979
How I've never done that before. Also idk what I'd do with out her.
It'd be back to 4chan night and day.
I don't think I have it in me desu
>>17152985
why ask then lmao
>>17152917
> Do most girls give a damn about feminism?
If you're 16, sure.
If you're a grown ass woman, nah.
My bf just took a shit, didn't flush the toilet, forgot to wash his hands, and I'm not even sure if he wiped his ass. When I got upset about it, he got kinda pissed at me. Is it normal for guys to be this disgusting?
>>17152985
Look it's not worth it if you wanna break up
You're used to her and its hard i know but it will become unbearable soon enough
If you cant stand her shitty behavior just leave her
Both genders: how serious is marriage nowadays? I get that everyone is different so that's a hard question to answer but I've had multiple married women come onto me even after they told me about their kids and husbands. Like is fucking around with other guys just a normal thing for married women now? Makes me doubt rather I'll ever get married
>>17152968
What does she say about it while sober?
What was the ultimatum?
Is there only a problem when she's drinking?
She still keeps ignoring me.
I don't know what to do.
When I saw her yesterday, she barely even acknowledged my existence.
I don't understand what happened. Things were fine between us last week, and we had splendid time together on Thursday, when we went to a museum, and hung out together.
>>17153004
Yes. Sometimes I don't even wash my hands but turn on the faucet for 10 seconds just in case anyone is around.
This is for the ladies, about a specific situation.
So today I was eat a restaurant getting some chow with a buddy of mine. We went through the line and gout our food and everything and I kept making jokes about my buddy being my life partner. When we got the register the girl asked if we were together (as in our food) so I responded telling that we are TOGETHER but not together, and I motioned toward the food. She laughed, and rang my buddy up, and started a little back-n-forth with me, making some jokes about my fake relationship with my friend. So I got rung up, made a few jokes she seemed to enjoy, and then went ahead and sat down.
The more I sat with my buddy the more cute she got in my head, and I enjoy a girl with a sense of humor. After some deliberation I decided to make some form of move on her, which in this case was finding out if she had a boyfriend. I ended up seeing her relatively close to our table doing something so I figured then would be a good time to approach (as she wasn't busy at the register). I know that its considered taboo to ask people out at work but its one of those "when am I ever gonna see her outside of here?" things. So I approached, asked her if i could ask her a question, and she smiled and said sure, so I simply asked if she had a boyfriend. She said yes, so I just smiled and basically just said "alright, nevermind then" and she smiled and went back to her thing and I walked back to my table in defeat.
SO ANYWAYS MY QUESTION: Is weird if i return there? I wouldn't bug her directly but I go here somewhat often and would probably end up interacting with her (and try to be at least somewhat charming) again. It might be awkward, but how would most of you ladies take that? Like, if a guy did this and he is at least slightly above average-looking (not trying to talk myself up) and he returned and sort of tried to have a little rapport with you just to let you know he was interested.
Is this a no-go?
>>17153004
No
As disgusting as it may sound it can get stuck or will float away battling the evil angry sea while the gods above look down upon your brown sails with disgust but sometimes the little sailor prevails and the next person comes in to see the ghostly ship of a once proud and happy people
>>17153013
>Usually says I'm moving past it.
>Its how I am nonsense if your not gonna understand just go I'm not changing
>fuck yes
>>17152868 #
>>17152894 #
My last message to him before he messaged morning was 'have a good day at work, I love you Anon' and he didnt even say 'morning, love u' like he used to
>>17153010
I won't be getting married
Ill be saving my money to build a self sustaining house for myself and as i dont suffer luxury and I'm not materialistic i wobt spend muvhe as is so getting married is more a liability than anything
If she loves me she will stay with me, i can give her the visiting rights and all those benefits that go with marriage but my property will remain my own
Sounds like a shitty perspective on it but i had too many people i know fucked by a cheating girl who also took half their stuff or more
>>17153021
I'm confused. Are you saying he tried to flush but it didn't go down? Because if you are, that is not true. The piss at least would have been gone.
>>17153004
>>17153004
No, that's fucking gross. I wash my hands before and after I pee, let alone shit. I pretty much wont even poop unless I am showering after. I just don't like it when I dont. Butts never feel clean after poopin, especially when you have a hairy butt. Wet wipes can help with this a little but...I like to shower.
>>17153030
As i told you i did a similar thing to my ex
Sometimes i would forget when messaging as i text like a piece of rock but in person im told im quite sweet once you get close enough
But not showing any concern or intimacy towards you is absolutely wrong
He doesn't seem interested in you at least not in that way
You have needs and he has his space but again i love you takes a few seconds to write at least he can say it back
Are you clingy? A bit but for a reason I'd say
>>17153027
Tell her drinking isn't helping her move past it. And what is "it" specifically? What sort of things is she doing that you aren't understanding or that are nonsense?
Leaving might still be a better option. But what is the problem and how willing is she to put EFFORT into moving past it instead of just waiting to "get over it"?
>>17153004
NO! At least I am not.
If a gf did that to me, I'd break up with her.
>>17153010
I don't know, but I'll NEVER get married. First, because it would be a miracle to find a girl who'd accept it. Second, because it is fucked up.
>>17153045
Nah I'm saying that can happen
But he's a disgusting piece of shit
Basic hygienic human decency?
>>17153053
Just dont know where to go from here.
Im planning on giving him space until tomorrow and see if he even messages me or says 'i love you'.
>>17153014
Anyways, what should I do?
I still want to spend time with her, because I really like her. I asked her yesterday on facebook if she would be interested in coming with me to the zoo, to which she hasn't responded, despite having seen the message. We live in the same apartment complex, so I could confront her and ask her directly, but I don't know if I should do that.
I don't understand why she hast started acting like this all of a sudden.
>>17153062
>request him to record himself saying I love you
>transfer it to your phone
>put it on infinite loop
>???
>PROFIT
>>17153062
You gave him space before right?
He still showe lf no interest
You both have needs and if you can stay at home eating your nails and being a nervous wreck while he wont even message you something you clearly wabt and need at least once
He's being a selfish dick
Look message him tomorrow and if you didnt already explain what you want, you are following his request but he isn't even trying to do anything for you
If he says i dont care blabla leave him and find a guy who will actually be invested in you
>>17153074
Made me laugh
Ty man
>>17153074
Omg why didn't I think of that! I dont even need a boyfriend then! Fuck communication all I need is a loop of a guy telling me he loves me!
Youve saved the day Anon, great job!!!111
>>17153084
Yea, I did.
If its still weird tomorrow I'll message stating that both of us need to talk about this, even though he'll say he has no issue, have a big talk and explain that while we're not together we have to talk more and try harder. He will probably say that I should just call more because thays what hes said previously.
>>17153096
Is it a call me more or lets talk and when you try he ignores it thing?
It seems like he keeps you as a girl he likes and its nice having a girlfriend in general but doesn't care about the relationship or you in general.
He has a girlfriend to have a girlfriend thats it
>>17153070
You should make a move already
There's chance she wanted you to do it, but you didn't so she gave up on you
>>17153102
I have tried to call more but hes either playing a game or in call with friends. And I feel bad pushing to skype because i want him to play games and talk to friends. Just wish hed message be inbetween games or just reply to my texts
Ive asked if we could put aside time to call each day and he brushed it off and said if I wanted to talk then call..
Hes always 'more busy' then me watching movies and stuff so ive told him to call me instead because im pretty much always fucking around on the internet and am able to talk.
>>17153104
I don't fucking know how to make a move.
And for the sake of argument, if we assume that she wanted me to make one, why would she start ignoring me utterly. That certainly won't help her goals at all. Also, what's stopping her from making a move herself?
I don't fucking understand this situation at all, and I am getting increasingly annoyed by it. One moment, things are fine between us, and we are having fun together, and then suddenly she acts like I don't even exist.
Why?
>>17153020
plz respond
>>17153118
I see
Well my friends wife was on skype with us no problems ahen we were playing something, we would still talk to her and just hang out normally
Did you try that?
And my ex was always bothering me to text more and ime almost always free to talk so i told her text less call more and she did, id do my own thing maybe talk to myself over what im doing and she would draw or read a manga
Also i hate it when someone tells me pick a time or date or whenever you like when they know they are busy and should say if and when they have free time as its easier that way
Try calling tomorrow, go on skype with him? Meet his friends?
If he really doesn't want to youre more likely to get hurt and he's only going to get annoyed with you
>>17153134
Rule of thumb should be
I want him to make a move blabla then make it yourself
Doesn't work like it so it sucks
>>17153020
> just to let you know he was interested
I think you've already let it be known you were interested. there is no need to press on it a second time. If you go back there again, do not approach her and speak with her if you are spoken to first.
>>17153020
It isnt weird if you dont make it
She was funny and you liked her
She liked you back but in a friendly way as she has a bf
This waw maybe the best and polite way you both managed it
Act like nothing happened and treat her friendly like you did
>>17153160
>>17153172
Alright I guess thats a better idea than challenging her boyfriend to single combat.
>>17152917
I do consider myself a feminist, but I dislike what most feminists say.
I think a lot of women issues are women fault, and that men issues should be addressed too. There are a lot of things that are still a problem and we should talk about them, but we surely live in a world that is much more welcoming for females than it used to be.
How do you date a feminist, huh.
The same way you'd date any other person, I guess.
If you don't agree with something I say we can discuss about it, if our views of the world are so different we can eventually break up, and it is not a big deal.
>>17153197
The gods choose the victor
May the rage of the gods fuel your blades
>>17153156
Wont let me in skype calls with friends.
I've asked if we could call once his movies over before, hes said ok once its over, then 2 hours later I message again and he saying that he was waiting for me to call??
I'm trying to give him space now. If he says 'call me' I do.
>>17153214
>I think a lot of women issues are women fault
Go ahead and explain the reasons why you have arrived at that conclusion.
>>17153219
Fuck the gods, Ill do it myself.
>>17153221
Why wont ge let you join that call? Its just a call with friends, i for one cant be with a girl if she cant be around my limited number of friends even tho im an introvert and a shut in
He's really stupid but at the same time he's using you
He tells you to call when he needs you, you two meet when he wants to etc
He wants he needs and doesn't care about you in the process
Dont hold your hopes up
>>17153230
You magnificent glorious bastard you
God speed anon
>>17153222
Mostly when it comes to success in life. I think women like to cry a lot and blame the patriarchy, when it's mostly their own fault for not succeeding at work as much as men do.
Women are really afraid of speaking up for themselves. We are less likely to express our own idea and we are more likely to agree with what someone elses said. For example, 57% of men negotiates his first salary while just 7% of woman do. We are not as upfront as man are, we have problems taking the lead. And obviously this is a problem when it comes to having a power position. We are also more easily discoursged. We are not as good as team work.
I also think women are not good at communicating, which makes having a family and being successful at work incompatible, when all it would need is organisation and communication with your partner.
Also, we are super worried about what others will think of us. For example, I didn't study math even if I was amazing at it because I was scared of what people (mostly other girls, because my male friends all study math/engineering and wouldn't care) would have thought of me for that - unfeminine, nerd, etc. Now I can see it was silly, and if I went back with this mentality I would study that.
Things like these. I'm from the phone, I can't link you studies and articles and stuff.
But you get the point.
>>17153266
I don't get the point, though. I'm not any of those things you listed. All of the things you said boil down to having shit parents and a shitty upbringing. Your inability to succeed is your problem, not "patriarchy" or "feminism." Your family failed you.
>>17153247
>You magnificent glorious bastard you
>God speed anon
Im a little sad at myself that I didn't catch her name (I think she had a name tag). Because i would do a little facebook snooping out of curiosity DONT JUDGE ME WE ALL DO IT.
>>17153247
I dont know why he wont let me in calls with them :/
>>17153280
I feel like shit. The more I think about this the more I feel awful and I just want to cry. I dont want to lose my boyfriend, I dont know what to do.
>>17153280
he just said NO! and thats it?
is he ashamed of you? i mean really now this seems so one sided to me
save yourself more pain, call him tomorrow and have a talk, would be best to meet in person but if i recall you're really far away from each other so yeah
>>17153300
If I recall correctly he just said nah and changed the subject.
Still waiting for him to message me.
>>17153270
>All of the things you said boil down to having shit parents and a shitty upbringing.
That's not true, it's not all about the family. I had a dream upbringing and I still have some problems mostly regarding speaking up for myself and keeping myself motivated.
There is a lot of biological in this. There are ages of social dynamics that influence our behaviour. There is a lot of cultural things we just kind of accept as kids.
I have some articles but, again, I'm from the phone and it's a pain to find them.
>>17153297
I feel you but it isn't worth it
At this point you would mostly lose the formal name and relationship status
>>17153306
Ass move
You can ask why, like you know you dont have to pick one we can all skype together?
>>17153018
Kek I do that too. Only when I piss though, I'm not a savage.
Boys and girls somehow if there was real life gta would you kill people like it was hunger games just cause they're so fucking annoying?
A whole group of mentally incapacitated people are exploiting hypnosis/psychosis cause they think it gives them magical powers.
Hey guys, so this girl I was seeing has recently had an ex pass away. She's pretty distraught about it, acting kind of distant, which is completely understandable. But I think because I like her so much and I can't make her happy, it's inadvertenly making me unhappy. Like I'll get sad if she doesn't reply to my texts or doesn't want to meet and I have no real excuse to because she isn't obliged to, especially with everything going on. Have any of you had any experience in this, like what do I do? I know it's in the wrong thread but I wanted advice from both sides you know
>>17153367
Guy here
My friend lost her dad recently so i told her if she needs anything to call me and if she wants to hang out or take a walk or something and she said that it would be nice so we did that
I wouldn't date her so its a bit different
Sometimes a hug or just doing anything help
Go with your gut on thus one but dont force anything, just be her friend
>>17153134
>>17153070
So, should I confront her about this, or just ask her to come to the zoo with me, in person, or should I just drop it? I am utterly clueless in regards what I should do about this.
>Ask /adv/ what to do with girl who didn't reply
>they tell me to move on
>I don't and send message
>she actually tried to reach me many times, gave me her number and date today
Are the people on here too negative according to you?
>>17153381
No, we're just not mind readers or fortune tellers
>>17153381
Its like this
Statistically you are better off giving up on it than holding in hopes
But in case it happens its great, but mostly it wont
See?
>>17153377
Guys. he's a troll. He's been pulling this shit for months now. he's never gonna do it, assuming it's true.
6pm and boyfriend still hasnt replied.
>>17153387
I'm not a fucking troll.
And my situation with her has been evolving during this time.
I started posting about this just barely two months ago, and back then, I was still anxious over just asking her to come with me to the movies.
If you don't want to help me, fine, but don't tell other people not to help me. What the fuck is wrong with you?
>>17153389
Wait until tomorrow
If he doesn't reply at all its all you need
>>17153393
>What the fuck is wrong with you?
What's wrong is it's been two months at best and you're still pining over her while not doing anything substantial.
You basically went out with her as friends, her not knowing about your secret attentions. It amounts to nothing. And her not talking for a while is what friends do, because everyone has a life or a bad mood sometimes, but you blow it ouf of proportions because your intentions aren't merely friendly.
We told you already : tell her you like her and ask her out on an actual date, presented as such. Or simply try to kiss her and get more physical with hugs and such.
And stop bothering people and derailing threads with your unending orbiting.
Hi guys, got a question for you all. I'm trying to have first time sex with my bf and we're taking it slow so it's not so painful for me. But as he puts his penis in it almost immediately goes soft as I try to push it in further. He didn't seem to be nervous so we ruled that out. I try to turn him on again so he gets hard then tries to stick it in, goes limp again. Is there reasons this is happening and is it common?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVEiAU_F2qw
I'm just gonna leave this here. :>)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywaKV8su94U
>>17153404
Sounds like he is afraid of hurting you and it's fucking him up. Mine can tell when he's hurting me even if I try to hide it and the same thing happens.
>>17153401
>We told you already : tell her you like her and ask her out on an actual date, presented as such. Or simply try to kiss her and get more physical with hugs and such.
Yes, and?
My question here >>17153377 has no relevance to what you are talking about. I am asking for advice for how to deal with her suddenly basically ignoring and avoiding me (or what at least seems to be the situation, from my perspective). There is no way someone is so busy that he/she can't respond with a simple "yes" or "no".
Besides, I tried to tell her that I like her last thursday, but I chickened out. I hoped that I would get another chance during the weekend, but she suddenly started ignoring me utterly for reasons unknown to me, depriving me of any chance of telling her that I like her.
She has ignored my question in regards if she wants to come to the zoo with me, and basically acted like I didn't even exist when I briefly saw her last evening, which are the reasons I am posting here now.
And no, I won't stop posting here until I have some resolution to my feelings for her etc. It's not like I can ask for advice anywhere else. You are not forced to read my posts.
Men, what's your favourite non-physical thing about women?
Women, what's your favourite non-physical thing about men?
>>17153428
Sweet nature and being cuddly
The feeling when a girl looks at you when loved
>>17153428
Favourite probably intelligence, culture, and just the ability to carry on an interesting conversation.
I also really like when guys are non-conventionally sweet. I hate that standard "roses and chocolate" romanticism, but I pretty much cried for silly compliments from my boyfriend.
>>17153428
Do you realize how stupid this question is?
What is your favorite non-physical quality between these two groups separated based on physical qualities?
These physical qualities affect non-physical qualities. Tradition affects these non-physical qualities. Culture affects it, developmental growth, global location, ect.
We're humans.
If we're basing this off of the North American status quo, then I suppose I could say I like that women have been conditioned to be sensitive, caring, and supportive.
This doesn't apply to all women though, and even those with exposure aren't guaranteed to manifest these traits. I actually really dislike the values these new generations are being taught. It's not sensitivity or kindness, but rebellious acts, a false sense of self-importance, and rude behavior.
Shits annoying. The men aren't being taught any better, either.
>>17153452
Oh shut up, you kill-joy
Boyfriend finally messaged back. Tried to talk, replies happy and asked if we could text for a bit with a big smiley face said his reply was 'if I notice, ruins the emersion of my show tho'
I. Dont. Know. What to do anymore.
Easter?
>>17153471
Teach him proper fucking English, first of all. Second, take the reins. Yeah, you love this dude, but you can't waste your time on people that aren't going to respect you. You either talk to him and let him know exactly what he's doing and exactly how much it bothers you, or you make the difficult decision.
Sometimes people get stuck in these neurotic mindsets, and they need some adequately serious event to shock them back into reality.
If your boyfriend loves you and wants to be with you, he will change. If not, then it's a lost cause.
>>17153471
That didnt make much sense sorry I'm crying a bit so its a bit all over the place.
My boyfriend finally messaged me after a day no talking, I tried to be happy and sent a message asking if we can text a bit with a :D face and his reply was 'if I notice, ruins the emersion' of his tv show.
Ive now asked if he can call me after his show because we need to have a talk.
Just feel so awful.
>>17153476
Asked him to call me once his show is over. Dont know what to say without bawling my eyes out.
>>17153478
Yeah its time to break up
Save your tears for someone else and make those happy tears
>>17153480
Just say what you're feeling.
You're hurt because you feel that he's been more dismissive lately, and it's making you sad. Just, honesty. You're in a relationship, are you not? How is your relationship ever going to work out if you feel you can't just be honest with one another?
People in relationships are supposed to CARE about one another, and want to be WITH one another. If neither of these things hold true, then why would you bother?
I'm sorry, I know it's not easy, but it's necessary. If you leave things are they are now, there's no telling what could happen.
Just let him know that you're concerned because you love him, you care about him, and you want to be with him.
>>17153486
Thank you.
I will try that. I think I'llstart off asking what issues he has in this relationship and if theres anything I can work on. Then say my part.
>>17153496
Good luck
>>17153418
Move on
Forget her
You failed.
>>17153507
That isn't helpful at all.
And I can't just "move on" and "forget her", without at least having some resolution to this.
I don't even know what I did wrong.
>>17153508
Unfortunately, no amount of pestering that girl is going to encourage her to respond in any meaningful way. For now, you should assume that your Zoo plans are a bust, and give her some space for a bit. Nobody here can tell you what is going through her mind, or how she has interpreted your actions. Only time will truly tell what is going on, as you are lacking in information at the moment. Give her two days, and then try messaging her back. Nothing too loaded, just as if you were to chat normally. Once the ball is rolling a bit, you can casually ask if everything is alright with her.
As per conveying your feelings... You either do it, or you don't. Commit to one. Do you want this girl as your partner, or do you want her as a friend? You cannot change your mind once you've decided this, so choose wisely.
>>17153539
>>17153512
My feelings for her developed over time. The first time I interacted with her was when I came to the common room/kitchen of the apartment complex, where she was watching little mermaid from tv. I commented briefly on the fact that I had never seen the film, and she welcomed me to join in to watch it.
After that, we kept spending time together, watching movies, playing board games, with her actively coming to ask me to come spend time with her (which she hasn't done in a while for some reason).
Over time, I started to realize that I was beginning to crush on her (which was the first time I have had these feelings in my entire life), after which I decided to ask her if she would like to come to the movies with me, to which the agreed, and the rest is history.
We kept going out to hang out in the city, and the movies few times, but I never really asked her on a date, part because I was super afraid to do so, and part because I didn't even know what going out on a date would entail. I don't even know where I would have taken her.
I like her really much, and would definitely like to be more than just friends.
But alas, apparently something went wrong, and she has started to ignore me.
I don't understand what I may have done wrong. Well, at least in the end, this teaches me that I should never allow myself to develop feelings for anyone again.
This shit has messed up my life.
>>17153542
Be patient, sort out your feelings in these next 2 days, and then go from there.
You will either succeed, or fail. Neither will kill you, and both will result in a resolution.
>>17153104
>There's chance she wanted you to do it, but you didn't so she gave up on you
This is absolutely retarded imo
>being too lazy or afraid to make a move
>judging anyone else for not doing it fast enough
pick one
>>17153418
>I am asking for advice for how to deal with her suddenly basically ignoring and avoiding m
There's no proper way to deal with this. If she won't communicate, you wait.
It's a common situation with some women, and believe me, there's no secret trick to fixing it. You just wait till she feels like talking.
>>17153542
>Well, at least in the end, this teaches me that I should never allow myself to develop feelings for anyone again.
lol good luck with that, your feelings aren't going to give you a choice next time either
>>17153546
My feelings for her are rather sorted out. I like her, enjoy her company tremendously, and would like to be with her.
What should I do after those two days? Try to ask her if she would like to do something with me in person, instead of via facebook messages?
>>17153592
I see. The female mind is an enigma to me. I'd honestly be far more content with the situation if she just flat out told me that she doesn't like me, or wish to spend time with me. At least that way, I would have resolution to this. But no, instead I am tormented by this ambiguous situation, where I don't know if I should try approach her, or play along with the silent treatment she is giving to me.
>lol good luck with that, your feelings aren't going to give you a choice next time either
I will always have the choice to pursue those feelings, or not to do so. This experience has shown me how exhausting, and nerve wrecking trying to pursue those feelings is. I think that from now on, I'll just ignore them. It simply isn't worth this amount of emotional pain.
>>17152917
Completely depends on the crowd. In some environments it's normal for girls to not give a fuck, in others it is frowned upon to not distance yourself from feminism and in yet others it is frowned upon to not identify as feminists.
As for how you deal with it, it completely depends on the type. I know some feminists but they are not militant or anti-men, just interest in gender dynamics and the social roles people take on both concerning men and women. Feminism covers a whole lot of stuff... how you deal with it is by being inquisitive about and interested in what she believes in, and see how compatible that is with what you personally believe. If not, the more important part comes: whether you can discuss things calmly and maturely without hurt feelings, or it turns into a namecalling shitfest. It's no different than someone's beliefs in any other regard, you see to what extent you agree or can at least empathize, and how reasonable and open minded they are about differing viewpoints.
>>17153428
How expressive they are compared to women. Whistling, full body yawning, stretching and laughing... really attractive.
I guess this is in a way also physical but as the other anon mentioned, not like you can say that much about the personality of half mankind. Although I do feel that men are often more invested in finding a humorous angle to a situation and making themselves and others laugh, which is also very nice.
>>17153596
>Try to ask her if she would like to do something with me in person, instead of via facebook messages?
Yes. In person you usually get clearer responses (which will help your sanity).
Go on to messaging when you're already familiar with each other, it's too hard to figure out her intentions over text (or her responsiveness) when you don't know her well yet.
>I will always have the choice to pursue those feelings, or not to do so. This experience has shown me how exhausting, and nerve wrecking trying to pursue those feelings is. I think that from now on, I'll just ignore them. It simply isn't worth this amount of emotional pain.
They'll tear you apart anyway, whether you pursue them or not. Never doing so just leaves you lonely with no romantic experience at advanced ages. The faster you learn all this shit, the better. You don't want to die alone i'm guessing, so you don't want to get to 30 without learning how to play this game.
>>17153428
>Men, what's your favourite non-physical thing about women?
Warmth, if that makes sense. Emotional warmth.
A world without women would be cold and hard.
>>17153596
The thing is that you are just looking at it from your perspective. Not all guys are able to graciously accept a rejection. And I don't just mean the guys who start hurling insults because they got their feelings hurt. There's also the guys who insist on hearing what the "reason" is for not being interested anymore, plead to just give it one (more) shot and see how things go, or try to win her over by detailing how much they like her. Which can result in (depending on the response) fear, guilt, pressure to go along with what they want so hopefully THEN they'll leave you alone...
Most girls have either experienced something like this or at least heard stories from friends about this type of thing. It is already an unpleasant ordeal to turn someone down (especially if you do find them to be a nice person) and added is the chance that they'll give you a response that makes your situation worse. So they put off sending that dreadful message and thinking about how to word it - should they include a bit of the reason or not, should they try to add something positive or not - until it becomes even more awkward because they haven't responded in a long time. That is the moment where they decide, fuck it, I want to forget this ever happened and hope he does, too.
Anyway, I wouldn't make a move or tell her you like her, she gave you too many discouraging signals.
A girl rejected me, but the last time we were partying together we got again pretty touchy and i was pretty aggresive towards her and she let me do all this to her. I kissed her on the cheek, hugged and touched the shit out of her. She kinda had a drunk breakdown afterwards and her friends took her home, so we couldnt follow up with anything. She also apologized for rejecting me the whole evening and asked me if im mad at her.
Girls&Guys: Should i still pursue her, because she actually likes it a lot when im making physical contact with her, but on the other hand she told me she doesnt want to be in a relationship at the moment.
>>17153637
>says she does not want to be in a relationship
>is touchy and enjoys being touched
Any chance she just wants it to be a no strings attached thing?
>>17153634
We have known each other for few months now, and there was previously no problem with our communication via messages, for example, I asked her if she would like to come to the city with me a couple of times via just WhatsApp messages, to which she agreed, and we had good time together, just hanging out.
Truth to be told, I had already accepted the fate of being forever alone before I met her. Her company, my feelings for her, and the fact that at least at the time, she seemed to enjoy spending time with me, sorta gave me a glimmer of hope of actually having someone who actually cared about me.
If it turns out that she doesn't like me, well that's just a return to square one for me, with the added experience of how utterly exhausting and frustrating even trying to pursue any feelings you may have is.
>>17153636
I can see the reasoning there, but I can't say that I agree with it. Just pretending that no messages were sent, etc, makes the situation increasingly awkward, especially towards the person who is being ignored. Like, what am I supposed to do? Just forget I ever met her?
And the thing is, we were having good time last Thursday, and things seemed to be fine between us. Her change in behavior came completely out of the blue for me. I keep wondering if I hurt or offended her someway, without knowing.
>>17153640
Maybe, on the other hand shes only that touchy when shes a little drunk and pretty reluctant when not, so its really hard to tell. She told me we should stay in contact and that she liked me. Im not sure if she just wants to "friendzone" me, but i feel like shes far too touchy with me for that.
>>17153661
Ignoring is typically not the strategy straight from the beginning. They start just putting it off because they find it awkward and don't know how to handle the details of the shooting down. Then they feel they've cornered themselves for real now because on top of the rejection, they've given radiosilence for a while. So ghosting is more the last resort fuck this than a logical path they set out to follow.
Unless her behavior radically changed at some point throughout the date, you very very likely did not. It is not that easy to offend/hurt most people, especially if you barely know them. What is most likely is that she enjoyed the date, but realized that she does not want to pursue anything with you. She does not want to go on more dates (that she'd most likely also enjoy) because this feels like leading you on, as she's already aware that she does not see it going anywhere. She does not know how to get across that she's not interested in you without you either concluding that something's wrong with you or she's a stuck up bitch. So she shies away from it and eventually gives up on it.
Not saying this is 100% definitely what happened, just the most likely scenario by a long shot.
>>17153665
She sounds tiring. And young. Probably does not know herself what she wants or changes her mind all the time. I'd just give it a shot if you're together at a party again or something and an opportunity arises, but not invest in it actively.
A lot of people get horny when drunk and lower their standards/hang ups. It is well possible that she does not like you as a person but enjoys the physical part of it, and when she's drunk does not care that her interest doesn't go beyond that. No doubt more reasons as well. She sounds too flippant to actually pursue to me, anyway.
>>17153667
I didn't notice any radical changes in her behavior during last Thursday, and she seemed to enjoy us hanging out. In fact, she went her way to extend the time we hung out together, by wanting to go to stores together, and wanted us to go to sit down for a while at a park.
I had only planned for us to go to a museum, but we ended up spending the whole evening in the city together.
In any case, what the hell should I do? This situation is hurting me immensely. I keep wondering if I did something to cause this, or if I am just over analyzing this situation, and panicking over nothing. Though, her just flat out ignoring my message and basically acting like I didn't exist last evening, when we were in the common room together, is hard to interpret in any positive light.
She was so cold towards me yesterday, that I didn't dare to say anything to her. It was about 2 hours after I had sent her the message in regards to the zoo, and she had clearly seen it, and chosen not to reply to it, which made the situation rather awkward for me in the first place. The way she barely even acknowledged my presence made me feel like utter shit.
I am just so god damn confused, anxious, and hurt right now. I can't focus on anything because this shit is bothering me so damn much. I don't know what to if I happen to see her again.
>>17153673
I totally agree with the actively investing part, i wont.
I just let time pass, and when an opportunity strikes, ill just use that.
So my (long distance) GF just said she doesn't feel the same anymore and basically broke up with me. 1y,3months.
I spoke to her and she said she's felt this way for a few months but thought it was just a phase.
She said she just wanted to be alone and was bored of me. She said she doesn't want to be with anyone and she doesn't want to compromise.
We only see each other once every couple months but Skype often, I told her I'd see her every week when I get a car and she said it won't make a difference.
So she's breaking up with me on my birthday and said just need to move on?
Why is this? Should I just let her?
>>17153684
Okay twofold advice. One part is that, shitty as it is, you need to learn to deal with not getting closure in life at times. These things will happen not just with love interests but with friends, being fired, pretty much anything at all. Obviously it is not a short term project to learn to come to terms with that, so I don't mean this as an assignment, just as a realization that it is part of life accepting that you don't get the final say in everything, not even in everything you care a whole lot, and not only that, sometimes you will not know their reasons or not understand them. You will have to be able to sort of wrap that up mentally for yourself and put an end to it even if they did not give you a satisfying conclusion in any way.
However, as I said this is a long term thing and given how much you are suffering from it now, I'd just say fuck creating some awkwardness and go after your closure. Say that you are confused because you had a good time, is it right that she's no longer interested in doing things together, and if so, did you do anything wrong?
That will probably make her uncomfortable but that's not really your problem. As long as you are calm, polite and not passive aggressive (including no show of emotions), you are not violating anything but trivial social expectations by asking her what happened on her side.
However, be prepared to hear an answer that you also find unsatisfactory. For that, see above.
>>17153688
You cannot "not let" someone break up with you... it takes two to be together.
Is it a good idea to ask my girlfriend to dominate me in bed every once a while? Sometimes I enjoy thinking about being tied up, spanked, etc. I'm just worried she won't see me as the alpha I am anymore.
>>17153694
I want to be but she really doesn't want to. She said if I don't stop messaging her, she'll block me.
She said she doesn't feel it anymore.
>>17153692
Should I wait at least for a few days to see if she comes forward with anything, or ask her in person if she wants to hang out again some day or something?
I honestly don't know how to approach this with her. If there is still chance that things are actually ok between us, and I am just over reacting and miss interpreting the situation, I don't want to ruin that.
In any case, these last two months have shown me how fucking frustrating dealing with these emotions is. I wish I could tear out the parts of my brain that cause them, and stomp them to shit.
>>17153709
>ask her in person if she wants to hang out again some day or something?
I'd go with this.
Don't assume it's over until she actually tells you that.
>>17153735
I guess I can try to ask her when I see her again. Though, ever since last Friday it feels almost as if she's avoiding me
>>17153709
Was afk for a while. Honestly, it seems weird to me to ask her again. You already sent out a request she ignored. The way I see it now is the time to cut your losses and just accept that it's gone sour and focus on closure.
Emotions are frustrating but what makes life worthwhile. High risk high profit.
>>17153822
How can I know for sure things have gone sour though?
And how can I even get any closure to this, if I don't even know what went wrong.
>Emotions are frustrating but what makes life worthwhile. High risk high profit.
Gotta have to disagree with this. All I have gotten from this has been brief moments of joy when I thought she actually liked me, and horrible anxiety and confusion in moments like this.
The only thing I have learned from this is that I should never allow myself to develop feelings for anyone ever again, as they only cause pain.
Men: Sometimes my husband is too rough with me and then claims he is just playing around. He likes to bite, pinch, slap, and squeeze body parts and does it so hard it hurts. I told him repeatedly, sometimes to the point of yelling, to stop doing that because it causes too much pain, but he never listens.
Have you ever done this to someone before, or had someone else do it to you in a friendship or relationship? How do you stop this?
>>17153830
You don't know it with 100% certainty, but all her communication since you went on the date points towards it. Not responding to your request, not initiating contact, ignoring you when she saw you. So by approaching her and asking her if she wants to hang out like nothing happened, you are going directly against all the signs she gave you. That is odd.
>even get any closure
Well, it could help you to hear from her with certainty that she is not interested. Then you know not to wonder whether she is or is not. Ultimately it has to do with moving on yourself though, which takes time and new experiences.
>from this
Dude. You went on a date with a girl who then turned cold. That is a blip on an emotional lifespan. The love you feel for your family is emotion. If you have good friends dear to you that is emotion. If you ever fall in love with someone who reciprocates, or have children you cherish, that is emotion. Cool your head. It is completely okay to feel shattered over this for a while. That is not the same as jumping to the conclusion that you're never going to want to love again. Get a grip on yourself there. There's people in this world who lose the love of their life and manage to love again given time and healing. Ultimately the human soul or mind or whatever you prefer is resilient and strong. Occasionally hurting a lot is just part of life and part of what gives the highs their shine.
>>17153849
I just don't understand what happened. Things seemed to be fine on Thursday.
And what's the point of developing feelings for someone if you only risk getting hurt by them in the end.
Also
>implying I'll ever have children.
I'd like to have a family, but realistically speaking, it's never gonna happen.
>>17153835
Unless there is a safe word, I always stop.
Make a safe word with him. If he ignores that, he enjoys hurting your without regard for your wellbeing and you should probably make a serious deal out of it.
>>17153849
>not saying anything to someone
>communication.
Female logic.
Femanons:
I have a huge impregnation "fetish". To the point where that is the real reason I dislike condoms.
Little turns me on more than a woman taking off the condom or begging for me to cum inside.
Would it be weird for you if your partner told you as much or engage in such sex talk?
>>17153872
>fulfilling your biological purpose is considered a fetish.
What strange times we live in.
>>17153872
Nope, I think that's hot too. I'm on implant birth control, and my boyfriend and I have been doing that sort of thing for years without issue. It's a fun kink.
As with any fetish/kink, you need to know your partner well. Don't spring that sort of thing on a new partner or fresh relationship. You need to figure out each other's boundaries and communication comfort levels, etc. That happens in the first few months of intimacy. Once you feel you have a good grasp on comfort levels in bed, open up the discussion about kinks.
>>17153861
I already told you the most likely scenario, which is that she enjoyed your company but was not interested in going further. This is the way emotions work, not everything is clear cut and logically laid out, things are muddy and elusive. You don't need to have done anything "wrong" for her to not be interested.
You don't "only" risk that. Unless you are someone who is not apt to loving anyone, it is the difference between a life free of hurt and free of being loved, belonging to someone, making intimate memories, and choosing to take the risk of heartbreak for the sake of living in a deeper and more fulfilling way. If you have a child they can die, too, or become addicts that slip out of your control that you don't even recognize. If you value something that makes you vulnerable, but not valuing anything is bleak and mundane.
>realistically
No. You are not speaking realistically you are speaking from insecurity and fear.
>>17153699
My boyfriend has casually mentioned it and I didn't comment on it because I would feel really uncomfortable
>>17153870
It is. Or would you say that a silence in a conversation is some sort of "non communication"? That someone falling silent after hearing bad news conveys nothing?
Silence only means nothing if there is no expectation of communicating to begin with. If there is, it is a signal like all others because you position yourself a certain way.
That is not to say it is healthy, proper or good communication though. That's something else.
>>17153707
Yeah let it go man, she's clearly done with you. Maybe give her some time and space and try again later.
>>17153880
Hence the """".
It's not as much of a fetish. I just like to shut down my brain and let the primal stuff dominate. By any means necessary.
I get more satisfaction out of turning women into drooling animals without any stimulation of myself than mediocre sex.
>>17153881
Still.
I sometimes tell partners that I really would like to cum in them. It seems the positive responses know what I mean and either take it as a compliment or think it's hot and those who don't think it's just the usualy "but it feels better :(".
>tfw begging for my cock does so little for me but begging for my cum makes me liable to make very bad decisions
>>17153835
I had a problem with my ex wanting mw to abuse her in bed as she would yell out in pain but then force me to do it more
She would be bruised all over her breasts and body in general and it turned her on and i needed her to tell me exactly how hard and where she wanted stuff, kills the mood and all of that but better to do it like thst than to really hurt her
Its hard to control how hard you do it and you should really talk with him about it
No other way to solve it
>>17153882
Then what the hell should I do?
Just forget her and pretend that she doesn't exist, like she is doing to me?
And I am being realistic here. I clearly don't know how to interact with females, and I am so utterly incompetent and clueless that I didn't manage to get anything done in 2 fucking months. The only reason I even began interacting with her was because she invited me to sit down and watch a movie with her. I don't interact with women at all normally, as I got no fucking clue of how, even less now, seeing how I now have first hand experience of how utterly confusing their behavior is.
All I have learned here, is that this shit is not worth bothering with. 2 months worth of emotional investment, and horrible anxiety, for what? Just to witness her suddenly start pretending that I don't fucking exist for reasons I will never know. If I had never sat down to watch that god damn movie with her, I could have been spared from this pain.
It is not fucking worth it. I had accepted the fate of being a forever alone virgin who will die alone before meeting her. I can return to that.
It's not like I planned on living a long life anyways. 30 tops.
>>17153911
Make a choice to either confront her about it in a non-hostile way and hope that she gives you something at least, or to not bother anymore and try to resolve it for yourself and put it behind you. Which will not happen overnight, no.
>I clearly don't know how to interact with females
As many young, inexperienced guys do. In fact, just by having gone on a date and taken initiative, you leave plenty of those behind you.
With the rest I can't help you. Obviously your issues go beyond this girl and it is up to you what you want to do with your life.
>>17153911
Dear lord, quit whining.
Sometimes women just cut you off.
It's their "polite" way of telling you they are not interested. It happens to everyone.
Your issue isn't what happened, but rather that you obviously made a stupidly high emotional investment on nothing at all.
It's not all "love of your life or bust", dude.
Move on and stop turning everything into an existential crisis.
>>17153849
The dude's obviously not particularly good at reading signs, he might be totally misinterpreting her behavior.
I'd say it's a good idea to speak to her in person so he gets a clear response (ie not in subtle hints, in a language he actually understands, like English).
>That is a blip on an emotional lifespan.
Not exactly. For someone with a social dysfunction (that anon sounds like he has one), emotional (especially romantic) connections with others are quite rare. It's not going to be a blip for him.
>>17153861
>what's the point of developing feelings for someone if you only risk getting hurt by them in the end.
Because sometimes they don't hurt you. And that's worth all the risk.
>>17153911
>Just forget her and pretend that she doesn't exist, like she is doing to me?
No, i'd say you should go talk to her (eg ask if she wants to come hang out, do whatever casual shit you do). Sitting around mentally torturing yourself doesn't solve anything.
My approach to this topic is thoroughly wrong considering I'm a femanon asking other femanons (and anons for that matter; I did not want to create a new topic based on my question), but what would the motivation be to get together with somebody if you don't like them enough to want to spend the rest of your life with them? Is it only me that sees this as a huge waste of time and other resources? I'm not talking about eventually finding out this is not the right person for you, just the notion that you're doing this for fun.
>>17153865
I'll try the safe word, thank you.
>>17153906
My husband says my body "makes him violent". I guess I do have a nice body, its got a nice hourglass shape and he says it brings the caveman out of it. It still hurts a lot, though.
I'll try talking to him, thanks.
>>17153924
>he might be totally misinterpreting her behavior
I don't really see much room for that. Someone not responding to a request to meet up again and not paying attention to you when you physically run into each other afterwards is hard to misinterpret. It's not impossible I guess but if what he said is accurate I don't have much hope.
Yeah that wasn't put well. How much something touches you is not at all always equal to how serious it was "objectively". Still though, as I mentioned, caring for people is a lot bigger than even liking someone romantically. If he has a good bond with (some?) family members that, too, is part of his emotional life. Same for friendships and even love for pets or, hell, art and interests, all of those would fall flat without the emotional dimension.
>>17153931
Sometimes you're lonely, horny and don't want to hook up with random people, and there's no one around currently that you like enough to get to know them seriously.
>>17153931
You learn more about yourself and relationships in general, which will help with the real deal.
Also you have fun or even a real connection in the mean time.
How is that wasting time?
>>17153931
Personally I did always agree with that. I felt the same way if friends spoke about a guy with certainty that he was not a long term possibility for them.
But after living with my own stance for many years I have softened a bit and started to see the benefits. I think a lot of people see becoming infatuated and taken with a new person as a great window for character growth. You get to try out your dynamic with someone else, enjoy the sides of you they bring out, perhaps go do things with them that they like and you would never think of to do spontaneously. It is interesting to get to know people who live in different ways and if you have romantic feelings for someone, that's a huge motivator to want to find out everything about them and overcome irritations etc... so it's an intense insight in another person and their views. And especially if you know you'd never end up with someone like that, it can be a rare chance to experience it anyway.
It is still not for me, but I am in general more rigid and serious than the people I know who feel this way, less "go with the flow".
This is, I feel, the most positive reason. Other reasons can include fear of being alone, hoping to wipe out heartbreak with feelings for someone else, not knowing who you are as a person without being half of a couple...
Femanons, how open would you be for monster role play? As in: Your partner dresses up as one and you role play being fucked by one?
>>17153955
With that mask on? No. How are you going to go down on me with that on?
No oral, no deal.
>>17153918
How should I confront her? Just ask her what's up and if she'd like to do something, or actually bring up the way she has acted since Friday?
Also, I don't know if we were on actual dates. We just hung out together. I never asked her to explicitly come to a date with me.
I am seeing a therapist, as I was (and still sorta am) severely depressed for the past 4 years, and I have only been recovering during the last year and a half or so. This emotional bullshit and anxiety has sent me back to a downwards spiral though.
>>17153920
Sorry, but I am really hurt right now, so I can't really "stop whining".
>It's not all "love of your life or bust", dude.
It is for me. I have zero interest in some sort of casual relationships, or just hooking up for it's sake alone. I never actually thought that I would develop feelings for someone, and this experience has shown me that it really isn't worth the emotional pain it causes.
>Move on and stop turning everything into an existential crisis.
Easy for you to say.
>>17153924
> And that's worth all the risk.
I disagree. These negative emotions are sending me back to my depressed state of mind, and the last time I was in that state of mind, I was self destructive. It isn't worth the risk at all, seeing how in the worst case, such negative emotions can send me to a state where I legitimately consider suicide.
I do intend to talk to her if I happen to see her again, but as I stated before, it is almost as if she has started avoiding me. I have seen her only twice since Thursday, first on Friday when I knocked on her door and asked her if she was ready to go the city, like we had discussed earlier on facebook, only be rejected, and second time yesterday, when she basically ignored my presence.
>>17153963
It has an opening for the mouth.
So I guess it would feel like getting head from a squid while tentacles are writhing around your waist.
>>17153968
Well, let's not get carried away. Those tentacles aren't going to writhe. They're going to lay on my waist because they're just rubber tubes.
Calm down with your fantasy there. It's a harmless fantasy to have, but let's be real--it's silly.
>>17153937
I have no real friends. The only "friend" I have is an old class mate, whom I occasionally spend time with, but we aren't really close nor have much in common, other than just memories of attending the same school.
As for my family, I feel more like a burden on them. They support me financially, without me really doing anything worth while (even this school I am attending right now is honestly rather worthless), and I feel like they care for me more out of obligation, than of anything else. I honestly sometimes feel like they'd be better off I was gone.
As for interests, depression sucks out every bit of you and motivation you may have for something. I did rekindle some of my passions for my hobbies briefly, but my recent emotional turmoil has shut off that spark again.
>>17153964
>It is for me. I have zero interest in some sort of casual relationships, or just hooking up for it's sake alone. I never actually thought that I would develop feelings for someone, and this experience has shown me that it really isn't worth the emotional pain it causes.
One single experience means nothing. And nobody told you to date casually.
But you have to figure out if you are even a good fit to begin with. This takes time. And you don't do it by going all in from the get go.
Will you screw up sometimes? Yes.
"Better to have love and lost..." and all that jazz.
You are making excuses so you can go back to your lonely comfort zone.
>>17153957
Don't explicitly mention how she acted, that is a bit too accusative, she probably feels awkward about that herself. I would try to make it open ended - "would you still be up for going somewhere sometime?" No actual suggestion for what to do, in the most general sense. Then if she says no or clearly hesitates there's your option to ask if she didn't find it enjoyable last time. Try to keep everything (tone and volume of voice etc) as neutral as possible because this is not a comfortable position for her either. That is not your issue to worry about but there's no need to ramp up the pressure more either. It is very important not to argue with her answer, even if it makes no sense to you. If she blows you off with something superficial ("just never have time!!"), tell her, okay, I understand, that's too bad. If she tells a bit more (like that she felt you had different expectations or whatever) tell her, thanks for being honest with me, I'll see you around (if you will, reasonably).
Okay. That adds the chance that she was looking for a friend and only during the museum thing realized by how you carried yourself that you were interested in more. Anyway, if she is not absolutely thick or someone who enjoys leading guys on, she'll realize that if you keep going one on one trips without clarifying that it's platonic, that is likely seen as dates.
Obviously lay it out for the therapist. Of course it sucks, very much so, but I'd put my money on them also telling you that it is quite something how far you went outside of your usual comfort zone with her.
>>17153974
The point wasn't really that mask in particular.
More the general fantasy of banging a monster.
I ask because some of my exes noted that movies with scenes like that turned them on, which made me think of it.
Definitely not something I need in my life, but could be super fun if everyone involved enjoys it.
>>17153976
That is all really bleak but the overall issue does not seem to be emotions themselves but your crippling depression.
>>17153955
Of all the possible things to roleplay, this does not appeal to me at all. Plus masks skeeve me out.
>>17153976
>>17153993
This.
>>17153980
>But you have to figure out if you are even a good fit to begin with. This takes time. And you don't do it by going all in from the get go.
Where did you get the impression I was going "all in from the get go?" I was hanging out with her, and getting to know her for 2 months, without saying anything to her about the fact that I like her. And now it is too late.
I thought that we clicked really well, seeing how much fun we had together, and how she kept agreeing to coming out with me etc.
But apparently, something went wrong somewhere.
>>17153989
I see, seems reasonable.
I'll try to keep your advice in mind when I see her again, assuming that she even gives me a chance to talk to her privately.
>>17153993
>>17154002
I am seeing a therapist, and was actually getting over my depression, until this shit happened. And I don't know if I have the strength to climb out of this emotional hole again, especially now that I have some experience of feeling like someone actually liked me, (even though I probably misinterpreted her behavior anyways.) Before this, I didn't even know what I was missing, but now I do, and it makes the loneliness even worse.
>>17154011
Realize it is still raw now. That you feel this way now doesn't mean in time the sadness or her appeal itself fades, while the memory of how great it was remains and motivates you. Of course it's shitty to be thrown back but there's always going to be setbacks in life to deal with, there's no use in feeling good in a vacuum, that will never last. Allow yourself to grieve over your hope and the possibility of her and try not to further set yourself back with heavy conclusions about what this means for your future. I bet some time ago it would have seemed difficult to believe that you'd make any progress at all...
>>17154011
>Where did you get the impression I was going "all in from the get go?"
Because you are talking about giving up on women because a chick you hung out with for two months isn't as interested as you are.
>But apparently, something went wrong somewhere.
No, it just didn't work out as you hoped it would. Stop making this about you. Stop making this into anything more than it is.
This is just your depression hammering down on you.
Get your head out of your ass. This entire thing is based on you telling yourself it was SUPPOSED to go one way but somehow you fucked up. That isn't how life works. And it certainly isn't how relationships work.
Okay so my gf of a year and a half said she is going to something this weekend, I ask her what it is and she says jokingly "mind your own business" whenever I bring it up. This weekend Coldplay is going to be playing at the rose bowl and I know she is a fan so I think that might be it. It's also her last week of school so she might be trying to go clubbing to celebrate. Both of these are something I would get extremely angry about and she knows this. Last night I asked her again and she hung up on me.
TL;DR how do I get her to tell me what she is doing this weekend? I might end up threatening to stalk her.
>>17154034
She's not telling you because
>I would get extremely angry
You're a fuckin' psycho, dude. That's not reasonable or normal behavior. When people perceive you as being psycho, they're not going to be honest with you, because they don't want to deal with your bullshit.
>>17154034
Are you for real? You'd get "extremely angry" because she wants to go to a concert or go out to celebrate the end of school year? Just in case you're not a troll, that's not normal and it's your issue.
>>17154034
>TL;DR how do I get her to tell me what she is doing this weekend? I might end up threatening to stalk her.
She is just fed up with your possessiveness.
You better back the fuck off. Because the way you are behaving she is either gonna break up and/or cheat soon.
>>17154034
>Both of these are something I would get extremely angry about and she knows this
Why would you get
>extremely angry
about her having fun ?
>>17154038
>>17154042
>>17154045
>>17154046
I wouldn't care if she wasn't the type to lose her shit whenever I even mention going to do something by myself or with friends.
"Why do you need to be with friends without your gf there?" I want to ask her the same thing.
>>17154058
So you're both ridiculous, insane people. Makes sense why you're together, then.
>>17154058
That's the quickest way to make sure your relationships really is dead. What you should have done is talked a lot earlier about her weird expectation for you to always want her around. Not wait silently for a moment to strike back.
>>17154061
since when did keeping secrets from your SO become so adamantly defended around here?
>>17154070
Neither of you are right or smart or good at relationships. There's no advice to be given. If you can't notice how fucked up both of you are, and how bad your relationship/communication is, no one here can help you.
>>17154079
How do I fix it
>>17154070
The point is that neither of you trusts the other, you are both possessive, petty and juvenile.
Neither of you should be in that relationship.
Are you guys like 16yo or something? Sounds like it.
I happened to come across her just now, sitting in the kitchen, and watching tv.
I asked her if she would be interested in hanging out some other time, and mentioned the zoo as an option.
She just said "Maybe" and didn't go any further. I told her that if she has time, we could chat about it.
I again, got the feeling that she was giving me the cold shoulder. I dunno if I should bring it up again to her, despite her technically not declining.
It's over, isn't it?
>>17154019
What I will remember this will most likely just be the emotional pain I am in right now. I am on the verge of crying, but can't, because my room mate is here.
>>17154032
I just very much doubt that I will ever meet another chick towards whom I would develop feelings, especially now that I have actual experience of how painful this shit is. I don't want to go trough this shit ever again.
There is no point in risking this pain, when the other person can just suddenly, without explanation, start treating you like air.
>>17154092
I don't want to lose her
>>17154096
You never had her.
Look, dude. Never once in my life have I seen a relationship this shit make a 180°. At least not for longer than one week.
And I still want to know how old you are.
>>17154107
I am 24
>>17154095
She also just now posted some "When your crush likes your picture" thing on facebook. I doubt it means anything, at least in regards to me, but seeing that hurts like hell.
Girls who like guys with glasses: What kinds do you like the most? Round, rectangular, hipster, or those ones with no frame on the bottom of the lense?
>>17154118
The shape depends on the face, but definitely not the last ones you described. I tend to prefer "bold" ones.
>>17154107
Listen I know it's not perfect far from it but my connection with her isn't something that i don't want to lose. I have zero interest in any other girl. Please help me fix things.
>>17154110
Grow the fuck up.
Talk to her about both your trust issues and try to make a reset.
Probably won't work but who knows.
If it doesn't, pull the bandaid.
>>17154127
Okay I will talk to her tonight in person, but she has a final tommorow should I wait till after? I think a reset is a good idea, thank you.
>>17154132
Sure, whatever.
A good idea is to "make a deal".
Can't tell you how often making deals instead of promises saved personal relationships of mine.
>>17154144
sounds like a plan
>>17153897
Why would you retry with the girl who ended it between you?
Is that even possible if she blocks me on everything?
>>17154113
Girls can be heartless man, young ones aren't taught to protect a guy's feelings.
Is it okay to be in a relationship with a girl that I don't see any real long-term future with, just a "for now" kind of thing? She actually cares about me and helps me a lot and the sex is great. I'd much rather be with her than be alone. I just can't shake the feeling that there is someone out there who I would get along with 100x better. I'm constantly worrying about what I should do and if I'm doing something wrong to the point that I feel like having a breakdown every so often. I dunno.
>>17154176
>girls should be responsible for managing every guy's emotions, even those she is not romantically involved with
Okay
>>17154182
It's okay if she is also under the impression that your relationship isn't serious. I dated a guy for a year, knowing from the get go that we were moving to opposite sides of the world, and it was fine. We still had a great time, loved one another and have a great relationship. When it was time to move, we kissed goodbye and wished one another well.
But we both knew the terms from day 1. If this girl you're with really loves you and wants a future with you, it's wrong of you to drag her along when your heart isn't committed to her.
>>17153955
Uhhhh not exactly my thing but I'd give it a go.
>>17154193
We have spoke about it many many times and we're not even official - we are exclusive and talk every day, basically everything an "official" relationship would be, but I have made it very clear multiple times that it's a FWB thing and she has reassured me over and over that she understands and is perfectly fine with it. It's still confusing as fuck though. We are super close but I'm just not attracted to her the same way I have been with some previous girls.
>>17154182
Well you obviously risk missing out on being with "the one" if you're already in a relationship, as she may for that reason never consider you a romantic option, and therefore find someone else before you get around to breaking up with your current girl and asking her out. The chances of this happening are small though, so I'd say as long as you're happy, there's no harm staying with your current girl.
Just make sure she knows you're not anything super serious.
>>17154213
You have no problems, then. She's fine with your arrangement. You're making a big deal out of nothing. FWB means no commitment, which means you're free to pursue other girls who you think are a better match for you. You have the best situation possible. Friendship and sexual intimacy, but no strings. Stop wracking your brain about it and just enjoy your life.
>>17153931
>Is it only me that sees this as a huge waste of time and other resources?
Same here. People say it's fun, but i don't get it.
Without a deep connection, a relationship doesn't really seem fulfilling at all.
Feels shallow and fake. The kind of shit that leaves you feeling emptier and lonelier than before.
>>17153957
As for the pain, use it to harden yourself against the depression. At the lowest points, pain is the only thing you can feel, so it's the only motivation you have. You have to learn to channel it towards your goals rather than against them.
And I'm not speaking as some normalfag here, this is what i'm doing right now.
>>17154095
>It's over, isn't it?
Probably.
>What I will remember this will most likely just be the emotional pain I am in right now.
Yep.
>I don't want to go trough this shit ever again.
Too bad, that's not how humans work. You'll fall for someone again, and get hurt again.
>There is no point in risking this pain, when the other person can just suddenly, without explanation, start treating you like air.
Again too bad, that's how girls work (unfortunately). Since you're straight, you have to accept it.
>>17154113
Channel that pain. Look at it this way: that girl wants someone else. That's it, the end of the story.
But someday, maybe, someone might have a crush on YOU.
If that day ever comes, you want to be ready for it. Keep improving yourself. Sharpen your body and mind, and improve your social skills. You have to be good enough for that hypothetical girl. Can't let her down, can you?
>>17154227
>Too bad, that's not how humans work. You'll fall for someone again, and get hurt again.
No I won't, if I never interact with girls again, in anything but the most distant manner possible. I am not a person who "falls for" some random people I happen to meet. I had been interacting with this girl for like a half a month before I started to realize that I had developed feelings for her.
If I just never again, make that mistake, I should never risk being hurt like this again.
>channel that pain
What does that even fucking mean?
All I want to do, is to crawl to my bed and cry.
Life is pointless anyways, and it doesn't make any fucking difference whether or not I live or die.
Do girls like boys with piercings? I was thinking of getting an earlobe and double helix piercing since I've always wanted one ever since I was young.
For both girls and guys,
How would you react if one of your closest male friend "came out" as bisexual ?
I said it inadvertently to my best friend earlier in the day, thinking that he already knew that
>>17154317
Depends really, one of my closet friends is like a brother to me and we occasionally do "gay" shit like slap each others butts and what not but we're only playing around and we all acknowledge it's jus t a joke.
However if my pal came out as bisexual one day I'd have hard time swallowing it but I wouldn't necessarily treat him differently but I'd probably quit playing around.
>>17154343
We do that too
To be honest, if some of my friends stop playing around with me, I wouldn't mind
It can be annoying sometimes
>>17154188
Being sensitive towards others feelings is a good idea in general, within reason of course (past experience with bipolar, borderline women comes to mind). If I found out a woman was interested in me, I wouldn't give her the cold shoulder and throw my interest in other women in her face, but rather try to gently let her down and make it clear I'm not interested in her that way.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
>>17154360
Don't sweat it too much man, if your best friend stopped hanging out with you simply because you're bi then it doesn't mean he was your friend in the first place.
I can't really say much to help you since I've never been in this situation but I'd suggest to sneakily wring out your friend's opinions on bisexuality/homosexuality etc. and whether he is understanding or supportive of it and then go from there.
>>17154292
ill take things anon will eventually regret for 500, alex
>>17154317
why would i care who my friends like to fuck?
>>17153904
I personally find it very hot.
>>17154381
Any answer is good, since I'm caring about the opinion and reaction of most of my friends and they are different
>>17154383
Some people do
Also "I hope he won't hit on me"
>>17154383
I don't think I'll regret having piercings, since I'm only going for a few and not overdoing it.
Question for the girls, if your lactating, what does it feel like when the milk is squirted out or sucked out of your nipples? Also when your boobs are full of milk, does it slosh?
>I like someone, what do I do?
Ask them out.
>I'm one of these haha.
Anyways, I did ask her out>we went out>went ok.
Been talking (texting) afterwards and it feels like a "will we, won't we"-situation.
My issue is basicly: I've been in this situation before: "Like girl>starts quest to see if it can lead anywhere>go's pretty good>Get nervous>fuck it up!
what is "the move"?
>>17154476
>squirted out or sucked out of your nipples
it's a tugging and pulling feeling and it feels tingly
>does it slosh
naw. they are not hollow bags filled with milk. there are glands inside that produce the milk on the go when stimulated to do so
Guys, I've spent the past two months or so trying to figure out the best time to tell my boyfriend he's putting on weight. I feel like it should be a face to face conversation, but when I hang out with him I always feel too guilty and I always dread making him feel bad about himself. When/how would you ideally want to hear something like this?
>>17153904
>begging for my cum
ho do i do that? i tell my bf to "cum for me" or "pls cum inside me". what else can i tell him?
Guys
Is it true that food is the quickest way to your heart?
I have a problem of always being late. Wat do, friends?
>>17154265
>No I won't, if I never interact with girls again, in anything but the most distant manner possible.
Still not gonna work. You're gonna have to be around and interact with girls for school and work most likely.
If you put up a wall between you and them, no matter how tall and thick it is, it'll be the new source of the pain. You'll wish it wasn't there, wish you could tear it down and get close to them. You'll look at happy couples and wish you could feel that too.
It's not any better.
>What does that even fucking mean?
When you have to live with depression (the hardcore, treatment-resistant kind that doesn't just get better) you lose all positive emotions. Since negative emotions are the only ones left, you have to learn to use them for motivation instead.
For example, let's say you have severe social anxiety like me and going to non-mandatory classes is quite an ordeal (150+ heart rate), plus 3 hours of sitting in the corner while everyone laughs with their friends. You don't avoid it, you go anyway, then block out that pain with the pain of exercise, then cover it further and exploit your deep delusions of inadequacy by studying all night instead of sleeping.
That covers exercise, studying, and classes without requiring positive motivation.
Gotta learn how to use misery effectively if you want to reach your goals despite depression.
>All I want to do, is to crawl to my bed and cry.
This is where the channeling comes in. Lying on the ground doesn't solve anything, productive work does. You have to figure out how to shape your feelings so that they drive you to do things that are more consistent with your goals.
>it doesn't make any fucking difference whether or not I live or die
Probably makes a difference to someone. And I don't mean your parents, most give up their right to have their feelings taken into consideration. There's almost always at least 1 person who'd notice.
This girl is probably a lost cause, look towards the next.
>>17154515
Ask her on another date, escalate physically, eventually ask for exclusivity.
Bonus points if you use the word "date".
>I'm looking forward to our date on Friday!
What is considered a "normal" amount of girls for a 22 year old guy to have slept with? I have only slept with 3 and I feel like that is low.
>>17154763
Life isn't a videogame. Are you trying to beat a score or something?
>>17154669
Yes, for me at least.
I'd find it sweet and endearing.
Though, if you're looking to get a guy with food, I suggest using low-fat ingredients.
>>17154682
>If you put up a wall between you and them, no matter how tall and thick it is, it'll be the new source of the pain.
That is still preferable as at least in that case, I would be in control of the situation, instead of being at the mercy of whims of women whose behavior I'll never understand.
I can't use negative emotions as a source of motivation, as they suck all my desire to live out. I already don't have much reasons to keep on living when I am not feeling like absolute shit. When I enter the depressive spiral, my desire to die just becomes overpowering.
>This girl is probably a lost cause, look towards the next.
What you don't seem to get is that there will not be next one. I won't allow myself to develop feelings like this ever again, let alone try to pursue them. This experience has shown me that trying to pursue such emotions is just a fast ticket to horrible, excruciating anxiety, and emotional pain.
I saw her just a few moments ago again. The way she just sat there, without even looking at my direction, staring into her phone, and basically just barely even acknowledging that I was there, hurt me tremendously. I just want to fucking die. I never want to feel this way again.
>>17154656
Alright, I'm thinking of doing it now via Skype text chat. Am I committing relationship suicide?
>>17154825
I'd wait until you saw him next. Seems slightly insensitive doing it online.
Have you tried suggesting you guys eat healthier? Or maybe exercise more? It doesn't have to be as blunt as "You're becoming a fat fuck".
>>17154834
I keep trying to encourage him to exercise and he won't do it, he even paid for the gym for a year and didn't go once. I have a very good diet and exercise regularly, he has cakes for breakfast and about 48 beer at the weekend. Looking at his gut is a bit disgusting, but as soon as I get in his company I just close up and never know when to mention it.
>>17154818
Alright, if you don't want to develop feelings again then don't. You're not asking for advice anymore so stop shitting up the thread with your whining.
>>17154656
>You've put on a lot of fat, have you started to cut for summer yet?
Blunt and direct works for me and i'd expect most guys.
Fat guys (and skinny guys) usually know exactly how out-of-shape they are, they just don't have enough motivation to do anything about it.
You can give him that motivation just by mentioning it, most of the time. He probably values your opinion much more than his own.
Especially let him know how much you appreciate his body when he does lose the weight and get /fit/: maintaining it takes effort (much more effort than it takes for a girl to just maintain a normal weight) and if he feels like you don't care he'll be tempted to just give it up.
This is probably a good general tip for girls, actually: whether it's body, clothes, hair, etc, just tell us what you like. We're happiest when we have clear targets to hit.
>>17154850
Sorry, bad math. It's 36 beer, not 48.
>>17154851
I still want to know if I should ask her again in regards if she wants to do something, seeing how she didn't actually decline when I asked her today. She just said "maybe" and didn't elaborate further.
I really like her, despite the pain that fact is causing in me, and I do hope that this situation isn't as bad as I fear it might be.
>>17154265
>I had been interacting with this girl for like a half a month before I started to realize that I had developed feelings for her.
How do you think normal people work? A fortnight is a damn short amount of time. I don't usually know if I like someone until I've known them for a month, and I'm not positive I'm into them romantically for 3 months.
It's not about finding someone who you immediately fall for. It's about trying out someone who doesn't immediately have deal breakers, and see if you work.
>>17154669
Yes.
I saw a study on what smells were the most stimulating to guys. The winner was cinnamon rolls.
>>17154895
Then ask that question instead of blogging about how you'll "Never love again!!!!" Jesus christ.
And to answer that question; ask her out again if you want to, don't if you don't want to.
>>17154679
Start leaving earlier.
>>17154901
>How do you think normal people work?
I don't fucking know.
I don't interact with people that much in general. These last few months have had me interact with more people than I have interacted with in the last 3 years before that, and during my teens etc, I basically only interacted with my peers during school, never outside of it.
And I was trying to get to know her etc, because I truly liked her, and hoped that we could be more than just friends.
>>17154915
I already asked that, way back here>>17154095 It is just that none of you answered that question until now.
And I want to ask her out again, it is just that I don't know if I should. Her vague as fuck "Maybe" answer to my question of if she is even interested in hanging out again, isn't exactly encouraging.
Also, I wasn't "blogging". I replied to the guy who was preaching to me about new chances, using my pain as motivation etc.
>>17154818
> at least in that case, I would be in control of the situation
Small comfort to know it's entirely your own fault. Speaking from experience here. I'm trying to break down these defense mechanisms right now. Feels like chipping away at the ice wall from game of thrones with a spoon.
>at the mercy of whims of women whose behavior I'll never understand
Sometimes i wonder how the dating game would be if there were more socially-dysfunctional women out there, as many as guys. Always been fond of autistic guys, freaks, weirdos, etc, felt like it was 10x easier to communicate with them than others. I'd guess it's because we communicate via the "verbal/written band" only, without any of the subtext, body language, hints, etc, and as in electronic communications, eliminating other bands increases the potential bandwidth of the remaining one, allowing higher-fidelity/quality transmission (and/or higher transfer rates).
>I won't allow myself to develop feelings like this ever again
You can't control that fully, even with advanced compulsive coping mechanisms you can only suppress it at best. It's hard-wired. Even schizoids can't avoid this fully.
>fast ticket to horrible, excruciating anxiety, and emotional pain.
True, it's a feature of life unfortunately. It's why we all need coping mechanisms.
Not to mention alcohol: worked for generations of men before us, after all.
>The way she just sat there, without even looking at my direction
>hurt me tremendously. I just want to fucking die. I never want to feel this way again.
I know. Worst is when you see her chatting and laughing with her friends while you're torn up inside, or kissing her new boyfriend. You'll survive, though. We all do. It hurts, but not forever.
Personally, i've found that workaholism is the best way to deal with the initial wound. Bury yourself in work until you don't have time to think about her. Eventually, it'll pass.
I have this really weird thing with my boyfriend and I'd like some input on it from both men and women if possible.
Whenever we're apart, all I want to do is fuck him. It crosses my mind at least once an hour, every hour. I find him extremely attractive and thinking about him makes my stomach flip which I've never felt before. We only tend to see each other on weekends due to work commitments, so we have to make the most of the time we have together.
When I first arrive, I always feel really nervous, like I'm meeting him again for the first time. There's usually very little physical contact other than the occasional leg touch until we go to bed, by which point we've usually both had a drink and are ready to sleep. It's almost like I'm nervous about making the first move and it makes me feel like I'm 15 again. We're both 27.
What can I do to make myself jump on him the second I'm in the house? I feel it's a bad habit we've both fallen into and I don't want it to effect our sex life if possible because it was amazing.
TL;DR - nervous about making the first move with my boyfriend. How can I stop being such an idiot?
>>17154932
Just ask her out again, there is no should or shouldn't in this situation. Just do what you want, it might work in your favour it might not. But at this point there's nothing to lose really, worst case scenario she says no and things continue as they are but you have closure.
Be sure to specify it's actually a date you're asking her on and not just a hang out.
>>17155023
>yeah, life totally sucks, you just have to cope with the pain via alcohol and overworking yourself.
Killing oneself seems like the more merciful solution, and forcing oneself to endure a pointless, painful existence.
And while I may not be able to control my feelings, I will be able to control the situations that I face to an extent. If I avoid ever becoming friendly with females again, and thus avoid developing feelings for them, I'll never risk being hurt like this again.
>>17155092
I'd be fine with us just hanging out together again. Whatever that makes the situation go back to the way it used to be.
I still don't understand what the fuck happened to cause this.
>>17154850
If you need an excuse (though you probably don't, see >>17154854), a good one is that you've been wanting to get him a nice shirt or swim trunks or whatever, and you noticed he's been going up in size, you're hesitating on getting him anything since you know he's probably working on slimming down (guilt) and will be a totally different size soon, etc.
And 36 beers (cans?) a weekend sounds like he's living either the frat-boy-manchild or trailer-and-stained-wifebeater-alcoholic lifestyle. Not a good sign.
>>17154910
>most stimulating to guys. The winner was cinnamon rolls.
Absolutely, hands-down.
>>17155063
What do you guys do together? Should be plenty of opportunities to touch, eg watching a movie sprawled out together on the couch, quick workout, showering together, vidya, etc
If the drinks make you sleepy instead of touchy, avoid em. You ain't a 40-year-old married couple yet, you got a lot of time for that shit later.
>>17155123
We usually watch something on the tv, sometimes cook together, it's the perfect time to start things but I just completely lack the balls to make the first move. I'm quite a confident person in every other area of my life, just not this one.
>>17155108
>I still don't understand what the fuck happened to cause this.
She probably figured out that you're crazy and unstable.
How do you kiss someone?
I fucked up bad today, I just want to know how it works. Thanks
>>17155063
What if you talked to him about making a move himself?
Or just straight up state your intentions before you get there. So you'll feel like you have to follow through.
>>17155108
It sounds to me like this is your first experience of human interaction in a long time and you're clinging onto it desperately. She probably sensed this and it may have frightened her off a bit.
>>17155162
Do you mean how to initiate, or tips on technique or what?
>>17155171
everything. I'm a kissless virgin
I tried to initiate but fuck I didn't know
>>17155155
What?
I am not crazy.
>>17155170
That much is true. I really thought that I had met someone who actually liked me and enjoyed my company, which is something I have never really experienced before.
Seems like I may have been wrong. Being lonely forever seems like what I was born to be.
I heard so many people saying that male/female friendships were impossible.
However i'm male and i do know girls that i consider my friends, without feeling any sort of sexual attraction towards them. And i don't think they feel anything more than friendship for me either.
So what do you think of this ?
And to those who believe this kind of friendship is impossible : In what sense ? Do you think it's because eventually one will want to be more than friend with the other, or do you just think that men and women are only made to form couples ?
I'm legit curious about this, since i've always had female friends, i wonder why people would say that
>>17155108
You can't make the situation go back to the way it was. Only she can because she's the one acting different.
We don't understand either because we aren't her. Maybe you're blowing this out of proportion, maybe she isn't interested in you. Could be anything.
Either ask her out or don't. This is what people have been saying since the beginning.
I have a crush on this girl. Won't see her again probably. She is a friend on facebook, what can I say to get a date with her. We've only had very brief smalltalk.
>>17155194
>Because of <x situation>, I feel like I won't get to see you much anymore. That sucks. So come with me to dinner and a movie this weekend?
>>17155188
Well, I guess I could ask her later this week when she would have time to hang out or something.
I just can't shake off the feeling that I did something to cause this.
>>17155200
I'm don't know her well enough to be able to say something like that
>>17155182
What those people really mean is that THEY are incapable of having opposite gendered friends.
They view all of them as a sexual prospect, and don't want to be around someone they're sexually attracted to if they can't hit it.
I've always found the idea of it being impossible funny, because I'm bi.
>>17155175
please respond
1/?
legit, where the women at?
I had a lame start at my 20s, literally lived to survive living neet often, slayed jobs when i did work because I can't stand being unemployed, anyway, now I'm unemployed again, been almost a year, sent out literally hundreds of CVs, follow ups, interviews etc. at this point I feel like I have egg on my face or something.
So, since women are materialistic and I'm persistently in poverty, my extra curricular budget is very slim to say the least.
6'1-6'2 maybe ~160lbs but shredded, both fully anabolic and a full head of thick hair, and not to big myself up but i'm at least a 6/10, though probably more than that, living a shitty life leaves low self-esteem, but my male confidence just overrides it.
anyway, I have no friends, oddly enough, I'm guessing it's consequential to not owning a car, and moving to the inner city, not having money.
I'm pretty sociable too, and really good at holding conversation, but that counts for jack shit when there's nobody to talk to, or the local watering hole is just a posse clubhouse, and everyone is like a 2 maybe a 3, not that my standards are even that high but when you get the stink eye from some hambeast... shit...
I'm probably going to die in my mid 40s in a shitty basement apartment, without a taste of minge in the last 20+ years, looking like a male model, probably able to cure cancer or build some fucken sciency type shit... the way I see it, there's no snowball's chance in hell I could ever be successful enough to provide for a woman, let alone a mentally balanced woman of my ballpark of attractiveness, interests and intelligence, because in my opinion they spoil them young, and it's some type of sugar daddy mainstream media mindfilter, that pot bellied pigs in a benz with creepy smiles are a ticket to success while true men aren't, simply put, handsome men can't get work, and are much less likely to get promotions, and are often talked about in water-cooler type Cesar scenarios where
I can't do it. I keep reading alot about C++ and keep getting lost. This time I understood everything upto nested structures and then stopped understanding anything? How do people do this shit? I have to do this for the interviews I am going to face. I'm an EE student so was never really good with programming. C++ is the only language I have to learn but I just can't grasp the concepts for some reason. I consider myself to be a very intelligent student.
>>17155259
Wrong thread faggot
>>17155245
2/?
there is no gain in status or direct competition in the work environment.
So, in conclusion, where do I find a woman to spend time with?
I mean a year or two ago i was seeing this chick, but she just wanted some weekend mancandy, over the weekend I noticed something wasn't right, she was probably a list of cluster B types, and good at hiding it, but i picked the queues right. anyway, she ditched on day 2 after i didn't fuck her or something because when i was planning to, she decided hey lets get even more fucked up and meet these random people and do some coke till like 6 in the morning, and I have no idea how in the fuck she drank what she did cause I was on my ass, 3 bottles of wine, shots, pitchers, idk.
so, she totally bailed to go shoot some nudes or a porno, i don't know i don't care, first girl in my life in, idk, years, forever maybe? I got lucky at a few parties here and there when i was younger.
anyway, to all the women out there, 2 words: body clock.
