So I'm being told that I give the wrong impression when talking to women online on dating sites.
Male here, and I'm fairly upfront about wanting something substantial instead of a hook up.
But mild cheeky comments I make are seen as overly sexual, and I don't see responses as overly sexual even though they apparently are.
I'm being told it seems like I'm trying to play an angle.
I don't get it. I'm just being myself when I talk with women. Can it be that many of them expect me to be sexual even when I'm not trying to be?
This is kinda frustrating. I know I can hook up with women easily. But I don't want to. Can a guy come across as disingenuous just because he doesn't talk about his dick often?
*sigh*
>>17149499
Are you fucking stupid? Just because you don't make sexual comments often doesn't mean that when you do it isn't seen as inappropriate. You obviously can't tell where the line is for inappropriate, so stop making those sorts of comments entirely to women you don't know well enough to know how they're going to take those comments.
>>17149499
The world has changed, and "mildly cheeky comments" are now considered offensive by a lot of women. (Actually, it is most likely that women have always been bothered by them, but are now finally getting up the nerve to complain).
So save your wit for later, when you know the woman well enough to be sure she won't be annoyed.
Could you give an example? I'm not saying I haven't done it but generally I think men mentioning anything sexual is a bad idea.
>>17150050
Eg. Woman on Tinder sends me first message saying 'nice to match with you' with a lipstick kiss emoticon.
I reply saying 'yes, it's nice. I'm wondering what part of me that kiss is meant for'
She later described my comment as 'blatantly sexual'
>>17151158
Hahaha holy shit OP
>>17150050
>>17149941
>>17149584
this
>>17151158
if you said that to me id say "fuck off weirdo"
>>17151158
Because that comment is blatantly sexual. Don't say shit like that to people you haven't even had one conversation with yet jesus christ.
>>17151289
OP is young and doesn't know what oral is yet. He wondered if she was going to kiss his forehead, cheek, or if he was really lucky it might be his lips.
>>17149941
nah m8 you're a fucking retard
keep doing you OP. eventually you'll find a girl that you click with, and it'll be awesome. dont alter your personality in order to get with a girl that doesn't even sync up with your type of wit.
but id cut it with the sexual shit right off the bat. there's a difference between texting and irl speaking, texting is fucking bullshit and should be avoided as much as humanly possible
>>17151158
Maybe if you want women to stop taking offense at the blatantly sexual things you say, you should stop saying things that are blatantly sexual. Just a thought.
>>17151158
There's flirty and then there's creepy. This is the latter.
OP here.
Thanks everyone for confirming what I thought.
Despite my sincerity in saying that I want something meaningful people will still expect me to just want to fuck. Without even knowing what I've said.
And then when I explain what I've said, everyone thinks it's overly sexual, when in fact there is nothing sexual in what I said. The sexual part is in how it's perceived by the person reading it. It's totally open in scope from innocent to perverse, and how one reads it says more about them than it does about who has written it.
I hate to be one of those who asks for advice and then flicks it back like a sticky snot ball.. But you guys are fucked in the head and have closed minds.
FYI, I chatted with her for the next 5 hours.
>>17151301
This is probably the only sane rational response here. Thanks for representing a tiny bit of hope for humanity.
