Do sophisticated people still exist? They don't necessarily have to be rich, just well mannered and groomed. I grew up this way and I feel like an alien in society. I'm not saying this to be pretentious, I just can't relate with anyone with my hobbies and interests.I'm 19 by the way, I know there are a bunch of older people like this.
There are no sophisticated people in your age group, not even the wealthy. In an age of social media, everyone immediately sinks to the lowest common denominator in order to try to feel inclusive with the group. You are "alien" because maybe you don't think poop jokes are funny or understand dank memes or think banging a washed-up whore while drunk is a good time. Whatever the reason, don't expect anyone to change for you, because they would rather you sink to their level rather than climb up to yours.
And, unfortunately, a real-life Diogenes Club doesn't exist.
>>17147845
can you tell us what your hobbies are? and i dont mean those things you do once in awhile, but what is your daily type hobbies?
>>17147845
Even if it is hard to imagine, most your schoolmates who are now just raging hormone filled teenagers talking and behaving like shits will grow up and mature into "well mannered groomed" human beings with like 40% chance.
You being sophisticated 19 just means you have very strict parents or easier puberty thingy. This however shouldn't put you off from trying to "being friends" with them, because you might enjoy hanging with them.
>>17147854
>real-life Diogenes Club
I would die to be in that
Anyway, that's a real shame. The fencing club I was a part of slowly turned into jerks trying to look cool and brag about how they "fenced for two weeks" or whatever. Media really has ruined everything. People just think I'm a weird loser for having no social media.
They do, just have to find them and ignore the small problems you find to be a big deal.
>>17147867
really? i have no social media and no one treats me like / calls me a weird loser
>>17147860
I do fencing and read a lot, so much so my classmates thought I was going to be a librarian. Other than that I just study. I'm never invited to parties.
>>17147862
Yeah, my parents were super strict, but at least I turned out well. I really don't have many friends because of it.
If it makes you feel any better OP, I feel the same way. 21, no social media anymore. Hate drinking and doing degenerate shit like drugs and whatnot.
I don't know what the fuck these people get out of this stuff. I've done a good part of it all, but it was never enough.
>>17147872
I live all around attention whores so it's probably just my area.
>>17147878
I'm glad to see you think the same. I just really don't think I could associate with people who do things like that. It was the way I was raised.
>>17147875
>i dont have many friends because of it
i dont mean to be rude here, but is it possible that you dont have many friends cuz you're a bit pretentious? i know you say you dont mean to be, but thats like saying 'i dont mean to be mean' while punching someone.
you are blaming other people and your parents for your lack of friends, when in your OP you are insisting that no one around you is good enough. I'm sure theres a little of both. some people reject you for who you are, and in turn you reject others for that, and stereotypes and prejudices emerge on both sides.
but reading isn't sophisticated, and it is an amazingly common hobby.
fencing sounds awesome as fugg though, and i can see why its considered sophisticated, but it still seems pretentious that you want pretentious (sorry, sophisticated) friends.
>>17147894
>i live all aorund attention whores so its probably just my area
I live in hollywood california, where all of my friends are aspiring actors. so you know... the definition of attention whores.
>>17147875
What's your favorite book?
>>17147897
Naturally I'll be somewhat sophisticated, but I really am isolated from other's ideas of "fun" and "enjoyment". If asked ANYONE in my club who Nietzsche was they would have not even a clue. I put a lot of work into trying to understand these complicated concepts, so I'd at least like to discuss it with someone I know and be seen as a recluse.
>>17147905
That's the question of the century. I really enjoyed Blood Meridian, probably McCarthy's best. I found American Psycho to be a good read though.
>>17147934
what else do you do for fun though? I also love to discuss Nietzsche and philosophy in general, and while im dissappointed many of my friends do not, it is just a topic of discussion, an interest, but not what needs to define my life.
i have the same issue with you that I have with the people who say 'i could never date someone dumber than me'. cuz it implies all they do is sit aorund all day talking about intellectual topics, when in reality they don't.
and if all you do is sit around and talk all day (and perhaps fence) you should consider opening your mind a bit.
im not saying you have to subject yourself to the mind numbing torture of reality television (though if you enjoy existentialism watching reality TV is actually a REALLY good way to observe that across America).
but you seem more like you want to be sophisticated as opposed to being sophisticated.
>>17147934
Why don't you just keep your hobbies to yourself ? You don't really NEED to discuss your hobbies with people. Most people (appart from some neckbeards) won't care about Nietzsche, they have better things to do with their lives. Philosophy is a funny thing, it can get hard to understand but it's pretty much worthless besides serving as mental masturbation.
>>17147953
to be fair its an amazing subject. im kinda inbetween you two. I agree wtih OP that its a great thing to discuss and finding people to discuss it with is great.
especially if you are the kind of person who likes to take these lessons and apply them to your own life, and growth. its a great way for people to relate and learn and help each other through problems.
but in your favor, OP does sound like he uses it more to be elite than anything else. he doesn't ask for people who are interested in his hobby, but for people who are 'sophisticated'
>>17147953
Even if I am a bit introverted, I'm still a human being. I too, feel lonely. I've never even had a gf, let alone, even have the chance to have a nice conversation with one. I;m treated like I'm a different species. I'm respected for the most part, but... Je ne sais pas... I can't put my finger on it.
>>17148027
>I'm not saying this to be pretentious
>but... Je ne sais pas...
I may have found your problem. Sophisticated people exist, they just avoid you because you appear to be a tiresome self absorbed bore.
>>17148039
So you'd rather I use trite words? Maybe I am out of touch. I bet you text the same words day after day.
>>17148045
You are very unlikable, dude. Change your attitude
>>17148102
I'm just some guy on the internet that you don't know. If you have any suggestions I'm open to it.
I actually know a girl who just turned 18 who loves Nietzsche. I got her started on tarot and some basic occultism. She was the only one in her high school who was able to discuss philosophy, and she makes for great conversation, even to me, being significantly older.
You would never notice her because her interests don't define how she behaves to the outside world. Although she loves classical music, she also like gangster rap and throws in the occasional "nigga" in light-hearted conversation.
Do you know why I'd rather hang out with her than you? It's not that her interests lie any closer to mine than yours; it's that being flexible in your social interactions make you a more interesting person than someone who is one-dimensional.
I have another example. My favorite conversationalist is a girl who spends all of her free time reading, but that's not what makes her a good conversationalist; it's the fact that we can go up and down in levels of conversation easily. For example, a conversation that starts with a comment about a commercial on television somehow turns into social commentary, with a bit of gossip sprinkled in.
What I'm trying to say is that you should work on your adaptability. Being sophisticated is great, but letting your level of sophistication define you completely is counterproductive. If you want to get philosophical, note that what makes man special is his adaptability, and that is what allowed us to thrive as a species in a variety of niches. Doesn't it make sense to be adaptable as well?
>>17148130
M8, you realize I'm on 4chan right? I like succ memes and I play Dank Souls daily. I also like Japanese pop music for some reason. I'm not a flat aristocrat elitist. Again, I'm not putting my entire life story into this post, it's that I cannot find people with interests I grew up having like fencing, chess, philosophy etc.
I have a very broad range of people I know, from jocks to nerds. I wouldn't consider anyone I know close though; there lies my issue.
>>17148106
Okay. Stick to one language at a time, because peppering your speech with foreign phrases with perfectly good translations is considered pretentious, for good reason. Ask yourself, as there any reason you couldn't have just said "I don't know"?
Or would that no be sophisticated enough.
>>17148174
Because I read too much? I couldn't tell you, but it's become colloquial to me at least. I adore foreign languages so perhaps that's why. I don't even see why it matters so much. If it's pretentious then so be it.
>>17148159
If you just want to find people who share your interests, join a meet up group for them. If your issue is simply that you're not close to anyone you know, that's something different altogether. It's easy to make acquaintances based on common interests, but they may never become close friends, even if your interests line up.
Proper rapport for close friendship has to involve more personal things than merely common interests. If you don't feel comfortable talking about /yourself/, as opposed to your hobbies, you're not likely to become close.
>>17148183
I adore foreign languages as well, but I understand that using the occasional phrase can be off-putting in certain situations.
I'm just telling you for your own good, because I used to be a pretentious little shit at your age too. At the end of this thread, you'll either consider that some of your behavior may be off-putting or you won't, and I'll go on with life.
>>17148207
Fair enough, I probably just can't realize it. I'm normally sarcastic and make everything a joke, so I think it's fitting sometimes. I am German as well, so it can be fit in. That's all just subjective though. Some people will find it annoying, it's just how it is.
>>17147845
women tend to be sophisticated while they flirt
