Fuck these motivational "you matter" videos. Fuck people telling me to love myself. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve to be loved. I have done horrible things. I've barely even felt bad about them until recently.
>From childhood to early teenage years I regularly molested my sister and cousin.
>One time I thought about confessing my guilt to my sister. I got turned on by the fantasy of her being cool with it and masturbated.
>I sexually harassed, groped, felt up, my highschool sweetheart's best friend. When confronted about it I denied everything and ultimately ended their friendship.
>Every time I've been alone in someone else's house I've gone through their stuff.
>I used to masturbate into my aunt's thongs.
>In college I broke up with a girl, the one person that probably ever truly loved me, and I continued to manipulate her for 2 years into not getting over me and fucking me whenever I wanted.
>I manipulated a girl who "friendzoned" me into years of guilt. Leading her to believe she manipulated me into loving her.
>I sniffed my roommate's thongs several times.
>All the while, I've led the world to believe I'm a nice, good person.
>I've subconsciously driven everyone away from me. I don't get close to anyone anymore.
>I constantly feel like the only creature that loves me is my cat, but sometimes I wonder if it's the other way around. The only creature I love is my cat.
And people tell me that everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone should love themself. Yet, I'd put money that they'd change their mind if I told them this.
So tell me. Why should I love myself? Why should anyone love me? I'm 27 years old. How is it not too late for me? Can I honestly be a good person at this point? I can't fix the things I've done.
We all have demons.
Just be yourself :^)
>>17147338
Haha, sounds like he'd end up in jail.
You can't fix what you've done, no. But you can do better from now on. If you can't seem to avoid these impulses, then seek therapy.
Every person matters. No matter what you've done in the past, you always have the potential to do something great in the future. There's nothing holding you back from being the person you really want to be.
If you feel guilty and unworthy of love, then why not change?
>>17147327
I disagree that everyone deserves to be loved.
You will always be a person who did a bunch of shitty stuff. That doesn't mean mean you can't change how you behave in the future. Knowing that you're a piece of shit, doesn't that give you some incentive to try to change?
>>17147327
>I constantly feel like the only creature that loves me is my cat, but sometimes I wonder if it's the other way around. The only creature I love is my cat.
Pic related?
>>17147327
You sound like a psychopath with panties sniffing fetish.
Except psychopaths NEVER EVER question their deeds and aren't able to apprehend why they shouldn't abuse anybody around them.
Now I can't tell if you:
1) regret your deeds or
2) are just unable to tell why would anybody matter at all.
So it is probably 1) and that means your are just another psychopath. This means you have great potential to become big boss in some because you can be as ruthless as needed to climb ranks quickly through corpses never looking back.
>>17147327
hey at least you haven't done anything sexual with your cat... right?
>>17147327
Seriously, I really need to know; isn't this behavior kind of normal?
I mean, can anyone on here honestly say they don't go through people's stuff when alone in their house, sniff and masturbate with panties of hot women if possible and even touched someone inappropriately (like a friend when he/she was sleeping, sister, whatever).
I'm genuinely asking, because I had come to think that we all do those things if we know we won't get caught?
>>17147501
I hope you're trolling, because i so fucking hate the existence of such motherfuckers in our universe.
If I caught an acquaintance doing this, I would throw a tantrum and try to never talk to him/her again.
Just going through my stuff, when i'm not there would be enough to ignite my fury.
Like you somehow imitate normal people in this society, when you are this fucking mess, that can't be trusted a single bit.
Stay away from people and stop hurting them, you asshole, pining for attention and sympathy you don't deserve, because you are fucked up in your head and don't want to change it.
>>17147501
>
I mean, can anyone on here honestly say they don't go through people's stuff when alone in their house, sniff and masturbate with panties of hot women if possible and even touched someone inappropriately?
Yes. Because there's no motivation for me to do any of those things even if I could get away with it scott free.
>>17147518
I (>>17147501) am not OP, just to clarify.
So would I - and so would most people, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a situation in which you're not at home for 3 hours and I'm alone in your house, then I'd sneak a peek, maybe see if you had nudes on your computer if you were a female friend, etc. I just can't help myself when I know that the given circumstances are such that getting busted is not really possible or at least highly unlikely.
I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm simply trying to learn more about myself and what is normal behavior. I'm not saying any of the aforementioned actions are morally justifiable.
>>17147545
Yeah, but then think of something similar that you might have an interest in and tell me if your sense of virtue really is the same when you are all by yourself?
>>17147562
Yes. Even if no-one else is involved I am still accountable to myself. This is how people that are not sociopaths function.
>>17147579
I agree with this anon,
Sociopaths should burn
>>17147390
But then again what is a psychopath without motivation and cause?
Begs the question can a psychopath feel their own unique form of depression? and is OP an example of this? Or is he a highly distrubed and depressed man with unfulfilled sexual urges broughr on by something?
>>17147390
Op here. I do regret it, but I haven't until now. Maybe I am a psychopath or a sociopath. I don't know. Can it change? I want t but can evil people ever really become good? Am I doomed to be a something-path?
>>17147327
You are right, you don't deserve happiness and you don't deserve to be loved. But if the way you are make you feel like shit, or you want to stop lying to the people around yourself you need to change or commit suicide.
>>17147729
You can change if you seek help.
You could always get a gun and take some gangbangers down with you. Probably take more bad out of the world than what you put into it, and therefore be worthy of love.
Just... kill yourself.
The whole point of this is to ask yourself "are you willing to change? Are you willing to admit you need help?"
If the answer is yes, then it's time to do it. Just like that primate said on that Ronald StallionGuy show you posted, you gotta commit to yourself everyday. It gets easier, but the hardest part is doubg it everyday.
I'll be rooting for you.
