So I started seeing a girl after about a 3 year break from relationships. We have great sex quite frequently and she keeps telling me that she loves it, but my problem is that no matter how hard I focus I just can't cum with a condom during sex.
This is more than likely because I've been masturbating almost twice a day during these past 3 years and I've been desensitised so much that I barely feel anything with a condom on. Not only that, but as soon as I put the condom on there's basically a countdown that starts until I start going half-limp while fucking her, because there's barely anything keeping me erect other than her moaning, and that's not really enough to get me going.
I feel like shit because she's worried that I'm not attracted to her despite reassurring her that the problem is on my side every time she asks, but I do know that it still nags her.
The funny thing is that if I masturbate thinking about the sex we just had, I barely last over a minute. It's just that I need maximum focus to do this, which I can't do while we're in the middle of it.
Long term we may eventually get to do it without a condom once we get more confident in each other, but until then I need to find a solution. What can I do?
tl;dr New girlfriend after long break, can't cum during sex because too much masturbation
>>17146471
Have been through this. Stop masturbating right now. Don't do it again till along time after you are cured. Next step is getting used to a condom on, have her give you hand jobs without or try anal if she is willing (tighter). There is now a mental and physical aspect of it, stimulation and the fear of going limp. This fear you need to get over by proving you can do it. Should be overcome by the first its of advise. Are you under a lot of pressure from studies or work?
>>17146471
Ps have been in your situation
>>17146480
No more masturbation is a given at this point. I've deleted all the shit I had saved on my tablet/PC and will be keeping away until this is solved.
I'm not under pressure from work at all, there's nothing that preocupies my mind during the act, it's just that I need maximum focus with absolutely no sounds or anything to distract me when masturbating, which affects me when I try to do it during sex.
Bump for more advice
>>17146503
First time(s) having sex or a long period has gone between? This sounds similar to what I had. I think you need to build it up into small step to give yourself small wins. Art his point you now sound like you are gettinganxious about having sex. I am going gym now but will try to answer more if you need it anon.
>>17146554
Long period (3+ years) since I last had sex. And yeah, I am anxious because I'm still enjoying it despite this issue. So far at least.
One last bump
Running, kegels, arginine, yohimbine, maca, zinc, vitamin D, lecithin, pygeum, lysine should be more than enough. Push comes to shove, viagra/cialis.
No porn, no fap, no deathgrip. You might have set porn as your standard for sex. Appreciate her body.
That's about it. Heard this story so many times it's not even funny. Unmotivated by all the suggestions? Too bad. They work.
