Most of the improvement psychotropics comes from placebo effect. So instead of swallowing some sugar pills with sideeffects, try CBT instead.

>>17136400
I did CBT for 6 months and although it did help, I still struggle daily. Some days are great and other days nothing makes me happy.

>>17136403
Ah well, if you really want to try it go on. As far as I know everyone has different reactions to different SSRIs so you'll have to try them to know how they impact you.

i've been on ssri's a year and it had zero effect on my libido. it was as high as always. but then again, i'm female, so no fear of ED

>>17136395
I take SSRIs for my migraines, it hasn't impacted my libido at all.

>>17136445
>>17136438
What has been your experience with them?

Honestly I really didn't want to resort to them I really wanted to do CBT and work on myself and find a way to be happy on my own.

It just doesn't seem to be happening so I'm starting to wonder if its just an imbalance for me. My moms is kinda nuts so it might be hereditary, all I know is it's been almost 5 years and I still struggle with it, some days I get so depressed I lose all my energy and just want to sleep all day. And then the next day I'm fine. I don't even know what caused it. Like some days its like any negative thought it a black hole that just sucks me in and I can't get out. Even if I manage to avoid thinking about it, I still just feel bleh all day because it takes my energy to actively not focus on the negative parts so I don't have anything left to be happy.

>>17136454
As I said I take them for migraines, in a rather small dosage (it's Doxepin, 30mg a day) so my experience might not help you much.
The only noticeable effect it's had on me is general tiredness in the mornings but that too passes quickly.
But like I said it's a small dosage, I heard that for it's intended use as antidepressants the dosage is anywhere between 100 and 150mg.

>>17136395
When I was on them I couldn't cum.

>>17136395
I always wonder how come the people that are super depressed or anxious making these threads always have a girlfriend :'/

>>17136777
Well someone who is emotionally sensitive enough and attuned to outside influences enough to be depressed and anxious, would, other than their depression and anxiety, be a caring, thoughtful person who makes an effort to connect to a person as an individual, and none of this "if she doesn't drop her panties after 3 attempts of me opening the door for her, I am going to delete her number and pretend I never knew her" bullshit.

>>17136823
Yeah, but how do they meet said person? And how do they put aside their anxiety when pursuing the girl?

it might just be my situation, i don't think i'll ever be able to relax in the company of a girl that i like... and most women are not turned on by shy people, which is totally understandable

>>17136832
I basically just dealt with it, I was terrified the entire time but I never let that stop me. You just gotta force yourself.

It didn't make me happy though.

Like she does, she's fantastic and brings so much joy to my life. But it didn't make me a happy person at my core. No one can do that for you. Which is what I have been dealing with ever since, she's great and supportive. But you gotta learn to love yourself.

Which is my problem. I hate myself. Well that and random bouts of sadness for no reason that make everything seem shitty to me.

>>17136395
>sex with my GF is one of the things that still brings pure joy to my life.

I'm so glad that I'm not this simple.

>>17136960
Yeah man, getting joy from intimacy and physical and emotional stimulation from a person you love, so simple. Us higher beings are so beyond base human pleasures, because base human pleasures are evil and for stupid people, we get our joy from math and philosophy.

Have you ever had sex with a person you truly love? Somehow I don't think so.

>>17136958
I used to really suffer from depression and self-loathing with a bit of anxiety on the side, but nowadays anxiety just sits in my body, my heart will start racing as soon as i approach a situation much less scary than going out with a girl, which i haven't even tried, at least not in this state. i don't hate myself, i'm just so ashamed by the fact that i never figured out how to be around girls in my teens. also, none of my real friends know that i'm a virgin

>>17136978
forgot to say that i look at least average. my hands would literally just start shaking if i were in a room with a girl. how do you handle stuff like that? was the girl that you are now with someone with whom you could be honest about your problems from the beginning?

>>17136983
She was, but I didn't know that at the time. I didn't tell her about my therapy and my issues until about I dunno 8 months into our relationship?

I think I could have told her a lot sooner and she would have had the same reaction. But we hit it off pretty well from day 1. We're on 3 years now, moving in together in september.

As far as the virgin thing goes. I know you've probably heard this before but it doesn't matter. Honestly. If you meet a girl who likes you for you it really won't matter in any way.

I've never had the anxiety you describe so I can't help with that. Mine is more a general lethargy and weariness where I just feel like everything is shit and that I'm shit and I am unable to tell myself good things because it feels like I'm just lying to myself.

>>17136395
I've been on SSRIs for a few months now. This is what Ive gone through since the beginning:
Getting hard starts to become a tiny bit harder. My penis is definitely less sensitive when fapping, and it takes so long to cum, my arm gets tired.

That being said, it's gotten easier with time. I can't fap every day though. My body can't do it. But if I limit myself to once or twice a week, I'm just fine.

I get noticeably grumpy the longer I can't fap, though, and when I do, I get noticeably more happy and energetic. It's the best I can get for now.

>>17137042
Thanks for answering. I used to feel like you do, but due to drug use and me smoking weed all the time it turned into really bad anxiety. I know it sounds strange, but even though I generally am a lot better know and isn't even as anxious as I used to be, I'd much rather hate myself than have sweaty palms and a mind that's constantly racing with thoughts about other people's perception of me.

it's mostly the physical reactions that's killing it for me, going out to grab some food with a date would be a nightmare for me with my uneasy hands

>>17137101
What kinda drug use? Because honestly I've done shrooms twice now over the past 6 months and if anything it's helped me a bit.

I've stopped drinking unless its a party however, I used to have some beers alone and read or watch a movie about once a month, but now if I drink when I'm alone by the end of the night I get into a really bad depressive spell.

Other than that I've smoked pot a few times but I never really enjoyed it so I usually just refuse when offered.

>>17137101
I used to be a lot more nervous around girls. I'd get sweaty pits a lot. What I did was just find situations where failing isn't as much of a big deal and just force myself into them.

When I went off to university I forced myself to talk to as many girls as I could. Even ones I wasn't interested in. Just to get used to it. Try and make it become a mundane thing. Go out to a bar and strike up a conversation with a girl. Keep it shallow, just be used to small talk. Worst case senario you are no different than you are now. No one there knows you so it doesnt matter.

Honestly what helped me the most was I ended up being room mates with my GF(before we were dating) and her friend. I was friends with her friend and they needed a third person so I became the basement dwelling guy while they had the upstairs. But we were all friends and it was good. Living with girls really taught me they're just people, so treat them like people. Just act how you would with friends. When I moved out I asked out my GF and it worked.

Granted I can't give you advice on flirting and all that like aggressive PuA way to pick up a girl but thats not really me. Pretty much just be friends with them. Make it a little flirty(thats the hard part, but you know, little bit of contact, lots of verbal jabs, throw in something sweet here or there, I'd make her lunch or something). Then eventually just ask them out, tell them you like them. I feel like people are too afraid to do that and all want this natural transition where one day they just make out or something. That to me is weird. I just told her straight up that I liked her and wanted to go on a date with her.

>>17137120
Well, since I was about 13-14 I've always wanted to do drugs, so when I got the opportunity at about 17 I started smoking a lot of weed and doing some psychedelics. Then I moved on to MDMA and amphetamine, and I generally just did way too much stuff while being too young. I already had some traits of anxiety when I started my teens, and when I started getting more anxious while doing drugs, I didn't really acknowledge it before it had gone way out of hand.

Now I haven't done drugs for more than a year and I rarely drink, however I still smoke weed everyday. I'm actually getting back on track with other aspects of my life, I'm not really depressed anymore, there's just still the anxiety and my lack of experience with girls (not kissless or forever alone or anything like that though)

I'm on sertralin btw, and I find fapping less pleasureable due to less sensitivity in my dick. I've heard that you can ask your doctor to try out alternatives, to see if you can find one that doesn't limit you sexually, but I'm not sure what opportunities there are exactly. It's hard to say if it's so bad that it would be a deal breaker for you. I mean, if I just don't fap for a single day, some of the sensitivity comes back, so I'd imagine it wouldn't be that much of a problem with an actual girl.

>>17137139
Thanks a lot for your post.

I'm going to university next summer, basically what I've been wanting to do all since I was 15, but due to all these mental problems, I've just kept dropping out. The thing is, moving to the capital (I live in a small euro country) and going to uni is where I've always seen my life as starting. The thing is, though, when I go there, people are going to get to know me, so I don't want to fuck up in front of them. But I'll definitely think about the bar thing. However, at least where I'm from, I think most people would find it very strange for a guy my age (21) to be alone in a bar and strike up conversations.

I'm actually quite good at talking to girls, or I've always been like that at least - the last year and a half I haven't talked to many of them. It's just the romantic aspect. One thing I find VERY hard is girls in groups, probably because I've embarassed myself in the past in a situation where the girl also had some friends around. I mean I might be able to keep a normal conversation with a girl, even though there is some chemistry established, but as soon as I notice their friends smiling at me (you know to encourage me to make a move), I feel so intimidated and become really nervous.

>>17137171
Yeah I'm not a fan of groups. My advice is this, once there's clear chemistry cut if off there. End that night on a high note. Then later ask her if she wants to do something just the two of you. Get away from people. You can get away with some stupid shit if you word it right. Ask her to go have lunch in a park, tell her you've got a bitching picnic basket and a big ass umbrella and only faggots don't like picnics.

I dunno, you seem like a cool guy so I'm just trying to spit ball anything I can to help you out. Just remember if it fails once its not the end of the world. Its more important to just be yourself than it is to try to be what you aren't to get a girl. Because then what do you do after you succeed? I think me and my GF work well because one of the first things we ever did was talk about Forgotten Realms novels for over an hour. I've never been afraid to be embarrassing or stupid around her but I was confident in the fact that I knew I wasn't cool. I'm not gonna have this work out only to have to pretend im some slick cool dude for the rest of my life with her. The key is to unabashedly be yourself. Be confident in your own weaknesses I guess? Own it.

My depression comes more from thinking I'm stupid and just genetically not smart enough to do things. Or ugly. Or that I wasted my youth playing video games and have no skills or hobbies and can never make that time up. That I wasted time at uni and now I have to go back to college for a real job and that I'll never catch up. That I'm a bad person, or that some how in some way I'm just worse than other people. And yet I also know I'm a very fun and interesting person to talk to and people seem to like me wherever I go. It's weird how I can know that but still feel like shit almost every day.

>>17136400
agree with this anon, don't give pharma companies more money to make more pills you don't need.

>>17137315
OP here, trust me, I fucking hate the pharma industry. Very very much.

I've tried everything though, CBT, I work out a lot, I eat clean, I see a chiropractor.

My last thing I need to try is I just got diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. Basically I don't get REM sleep, like ever. I'm basically sleep deprived no matter what I do.

I'm getting a CPAP machine in a week. I pray that makes a change in my life. But if that doesn;t do it I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I don't want to think I'm gonna spend the rest of my life being miserable a good 50% of the time. I want to enjoy things and be happy and focus on the good things. Like why should I care if I'm ugly? I have a GF that I'm so so so so attracted to, and she seems to think I'm fine, so why does it matter to me? And yet I'll spend 3 hours feeling like an ugly sack of shit. Or I'll spend 3 hours thinking I'm stupid because I'm not perfect at everything, or someone did something better than me. And then just feeling bleh the rest of the day.

I don;t want to live like that anymore.

You guys sound exactly like me. I get nervous as hell from contact with girls but I deal with it by talking to them like I dont give a dam and that hasnt worked for me because they feel no chemistry. If I do give a dam i usually look too nervous and look like if I was a social outcast. So fuck it is hard.

>>17137368
i'm proud of you OP, most sheeple give up after the second or third try and go running to the pills, also intrigued as to how you found out it was lack of REM ?

>>17137431
Well my dad has severe sleep apnea. He got tested cuz he was falling asleep mid day. He snores like a mother fucker.

I also snore like a motherfucker and never feel rested no matter how long I sleep. Like physically I feel fine but I'm always groggy and feel like I could nap whenever. Always yawning and struggle to focus on mental tasks for prolonged periods.

So I decided to get tested and surprise, sleep apnea.

What apnea does is when you start to get into a deep sleep, aka REM sleep your throat relaxes in a way where the airway gets blocked off and you stop breathing. Your body then goes "oh fuck" and sends a signal to make you gasp, which also pulls you from that deeper sleep and back to just regular sleep.

So I still get physical rest, my body gets lots of energy. But REM sleep is where all the maintenance of your brain happens. When you don't get REM sleep your brain basically says fuck you.

>>17137490
They fix it with a darth vader breathing mask you wear while you sleep that basically forces air down your throat so you don't stop breathing.

Really awful to get used to sleeping with, but almost 100% effective at curing the problem.

>>17137247
You really gave me some perspective, and I really appreciate you doing it, even though you have your own troubles. A picnic sounds like the most fear-inducing way of dating that I can think of (I'm also very bad at sitting on the ground, which would make me even more nervous haha), but I'll keep it in mind.

I think honestly I might just never have approached any girl that would fit me, my personality or my interests, I tried some girls in high school (when I was like 17-18, so not sure thats considered high school), but that was mostly because of their looks and because I knew they were attracted to me. I fucked it up by either being too nervous and not making a move (I was literally watching south park with one of the hottest girls in my school, whom i knew liked me, but i just sat there lol) or just being too fucked up on drugs.

My teenage years were generally a nightmare. All my insecurities about being ugly are gone now though (my skin has now stopped being a teenager's skin), it's just my stiff, nervous limbs that I worry about and my lack of romantic social skills.

I really hope all the best for you, I know how dreadful it is living in total apathy with a tired, unmotivated mind. I hope the medicine or the sleep machine will work for you.

>>17137247
Hey I don't know if this even alive anymore, but your advice was really cool so I wanted to ask you about my problem: I'm not really anxious about talking to girls, and i'm generally considered "the funny guy", and some girls even like me. The thing is, when things get definitely intimate with a girl, and because of my lack of experience I guess, something happens, and it feels like...like I'm not actually the one talking and moving, like I'm somehow watching myself do the thing, and even wondering how "this guy is going to do", like, legit 3rd person shit, which in turn makes me fuck up. I think I've read the term "depersonalization" for this feeling, how to cope with this???

>>17137730
I wanted to explain the feeling a little better: like I'm two different people at once: one performing and one watching, and the one performing can't stand the judgement of the one wathcing

>>17137754
>>17137730
this is known as an "out of body experience", it is the minds way of dealing with something stressful, it more commonly happens to rape victims.

>>17137730
Sorry, wish I could help more but that is something completely outside my realm of experience. I get really analytical sometimes to the point where it feels like I'm more in my head than what I'm doing but straight up third person is something I have never experienced.

Best advice I can think of for that is to look into mindfulness, its usually paired with CBT. Just methods and practices to be more in the moment. I struggle with them but I need to remind myself to keep practicing it. It's like anything else, its a habit that grows stronger the more you do it.