Repost from the 'ask the opposite sex' thread, but you know how it is with overthinking - once you pop, you can't stop.
I have a crush on a guy. I asked him to help me bake before an event (we both like baking). He agreed. I asked him what time he wanted to meet up, and he decided a time that would give us just the very minimum of time needed for the baking. It was previously established neither of us was doing anything else that day, so he could have chosen an earlier time if he had wanted to.
Does this mean he's not interested? Or would he choose that for some other reason (like what?)
>>17126535
Maybe he just underestimated the amount of time it would take to bake everything?
>>17126555
We'll manage, but I'm just thinking if I had the chance to spend more time with someone I liked (especially romantically, but with friends too), I'd take it, if I had nothing better to do.
>>17126535
>I have a crush on a guy.
>asked him to HELP ME BAKE
AND THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T EVER UNDERSTAND WOMEN. lol
Seriously we guys are SIMPLE beings. If you want to do something with us, you need to give use clear input like:
Hey anon, I am free this weekend, wanna hang out?
Or if you feel like brave lady who doesn't play by the rules:
Hey anon, I like you, do you have any girlfriend now?
But seriously bake a cake? it is like you used cryptography and the poor guy didn't get the password. Try the rule KISS: keep it simple stupid!
>>17126575
Yeah, but would you dare to openly suggest that you'd like to do more together than the activity that was already suggested? I mean, if he likes you there's also a good chance he feels like he's already pushing his luck by being invited by you, no reason to try to get more out of it right away.
At least you know you have an issue with overthinking.
>>17126852
>used cryptography
She asked him to do an activity together she could have asked someone else for or done by herself. It's not the most blatant thing there is but cryptography?
Also she probably did not want him to get the hint that she wants him, but just to spend time with him and hope something sparks. That can be accomplished whether or not he realizes that the invitation wasn't just friendly.
>>17126922
>It's not the most blatant thing
I can't give you precise % of how much and how many guys are immune to suggestions like this (read dumb),
but me (as a boy) would never get such idea from cooking.
Seriously, keep it simple and it will work.
>>17126973
See my other sentence, she is probably also still testing the waters. Not sure if this is OP's reasoning, but I can really like the looks and vibe of someone and still want to make sure that we can talk easily about a variety of topics, have at least some base stuff in common, can get on the same wavelength with humor. Some guys can get REALLY nasty if they have been given the impression that you like them, only to change your mind. I know at least from talking this over with friends that I'm not the only one who feels like as soon as I express real interest in a guy, I'd better see it through. That makes it very intimidating to show someone explicit interest, because they might turn around on you if you are not interested anymore after getting to know them better, and accuse you of leading them om (or being a whore who found someone else or whatever). That makes creating an opportunity to spend time together, without spelling out that you want them to go on a date with you, a comfortable middle option where you can get a more thorough impression of them without feeling like you've laid down your cards and have to roll with your impulsive liking of someone now.
Might not at all be what OP is/was thinking but to give you an idea of why it would be preferable to be vague.
>>17126998
wow, just wow.
You girls have so much complications:
>vibe of someone
>make sure
>variety of topics
>stuff in common
>same wavelength
>humor
>guys can get REALLY nasty
>very intimidating to show someone explicit interest
>they might turn around
>creating an opportunity
>without spelling out that you want them
>comfortable middle option
Thank you femanon for letting me see a 0.001% of femanon's reasoning process when deciding how to ask somebody to date.
IMHO if you wanted just that "middle option" that is the Wanna hang out? part, but I am simple being .-)
>>17127023
It gets more complicated still. Inviting someone over for baking is potentially better because if things go bad and you don't talk easily, you have a task to focus on that releaves the awkwardness and masks that you don't really get along. There's also a smaller chance that he spontaneously asks you to hang out if you suggested a specific goal.
If things do go well, baking together creates a lot of opportunities to be playful/silly and flirty. Think of licking sauce/dough off each other's fingers, fighting over who gets to do what, flour handprints and what not.
Guaranteed low risk and potential high reward.
