My ex recently broke up with me. We had been long distance for a long time, with her visiting me and vice versa whenever we could, and she eventually moved in, then moved back out and now won't answer my calls.
The thing is. There was a definite change in her behaviour when she left my place after the first visit. She became obsessed with the idea of me cheating (which I never have or would, cheating destroyed my family when I was a kid), even going so far as to accuse me of incestuous leanings. At the time I thought "this must be a guilty conscience thing" but she convinced me it wasn't, she was just insecure about losing me.
The third time we were together something went wrong with one of my testicles, and I've been having on and off pain since. I saw a doctor today, and allthough there are other explanations, basically, I might have chlamydia. I know it's symptomless in women, and it makes them infertile. She wants kids badly, so the idea of her not being able to is heartbreaking. On the other hand, she CAN'T have got it from me. I was a kissless virgin before her, and I know I never cheated.
My mind keeps going back to the sudden change in her temperament when she was back in her home town the first time. She was hanging out with her (only) ex then. Did she cheat on me?
Obviouslly I need to check if I have the infection or not first. I just feel like shit about all of this. If my suspicions are right, she'll already be infertile probably, as it would have been 15 months since she may have cheated. We agreed on names for the kids we wanted to have in the future.
What do?
>>17124553
Why do you feel like shit about any of this? You didn't do anything wrong. Just deal with your shit and move on.
Judging by her behavior, someone like her doesn't seem ready for kids anyway.
>>17124578
Well, I mean, the relationship breakdown was just as much my fault as hers. I also am allowed to feel bad about her being infertile even if it was because she cheated on me.
I fucking hope I don't have an std man. That makes me feel bad, that idea.
>>17124553
Are you comfortable telling her that a doctor said that you might have the STD? If you care about her welfare like you said you did it would be good to tell her right away so she can get treated
>>17124630
I totally am. Is it incredibly selfish to wait until it's confirmed? She might rage at me and never ever speak to me again. If I knew for sure I had it I'd tell her but I don't want to risk totally losing the opportunity to communicate with her.
>>17124553
Ok so chlamydia in men, most of the time, is not that big of a deal. You can even contract the infection and pass it without ever having any symptoms. Male anatomy is much less susceptible to long term harm from this infection, and fortunately, it's detectable by a simple urine test and totally treatable. Moreover, testicles can just hurt sometimes. It happens.
>she'll already be infertile probably
The infertility in women thing is a potential secondary complication and not a common outcome. Stop freaking out about it. Even if she did get chlamydia, like you said, it wasn't from you so there is 0.0% chance it's your fault.
What's more concerning:
>There was a definite change in her behaviour when she left my place after the first visit. She became obsessed with the idea of me cheating (which I never have or would, cheating destroyed my family when I was a kid), even going so far as to accuse me of incestuous leanings.
This is either a sign of her being unfaithful and having a guilty conscience OR her having some severe trust issues. Either way, I think you're better off not being with this girl anymore. Just make sure you're okay physically and move on with your life.
>>17124653
No, you should definitely wait until you have a diagnosis. It's very easy to diagnose and there are so many other explanations for both your symptoms and her actions. Your symptoms do not even sound like chlamydia. Wait until you know what is wrong before you accuse her of cheating.
>>17124553
Chlamydia is not usually symptomless in women, there is often pain during urination and abnormal discharge. She would probably know if she had it.
