How do you make yourself desirable as a romantic partner when you're irredeemably ugly, can't offer any kind of social leverage, you're picky and can't bring yourself to settling for someone as undesirable as you and can't afford to throw money at the problem?
>>17122889
its simple just don't be.
>Ugly
>Unpopular
>Picky
>Poor
You answered you're own question OP, if you can fix at least one of those you have a chance.
>>17122896
>ugly because transsexual
>unpopular because autistic and weird
>picky because I don't like old or skinny guys
>poor because millenial with no rich parents or talent in any lucrative field
Which one of those is the easiest to fix?
Impress them with your hot dog making skill
>>17122913
How do you get them to stick around for long enough to give them food?
My cooking is pretty great, but not worth-tolerating-me-indefinitely -great.
>>17122910
From the order stated I'd say.
Picky>Money>Unpopular>Looks
No advise on looks, take your hormones seek advice from other transsexuals, if you're in a transitional stage you might just have to wait it out. Don't really know much about transsexual beauty. I can say, stay in shape, take care of your skin, dress well.
there's 100's of books on networking, being more charismatic, social able, personable. You're best bet is to just keep associating with people, and be less apprehensions about it. You could be the most normal cool chill person ever, but there's always someone who will think your a cunt its just the way life is. care less about it.
That's not that picky really, unless you're old going after someone way younger than you. Plenty of guys who aren't skinny.
You literally only need enough money to be financially stable. Maybe a bit more. if you were rich you'd probably spend the money trying to fix the first 3 problems most people do.
>>17122910
Either of:
>unpopular because autistic and weird
>picky because I don't like old or skinny guys
Ugly is typically solvable as well but not always, else I would've chosen that one. Getting rich is going to take a lot of time unless you start selling drugs or some shit.
Lowering your standards should be the easiest thing to do.
>>17122936
My problem is they're withholding my treatments because they don't think I am able to sufficiently cope with stress. Lacking hormones and a partner are the sole and primary sources of stress in my life.
Being a transsexual is a lot like being cis, appearance-wise. It's harder by default if you're female, but there's a thousand things that's been invented to make it easier (makeup, stuffed bras, false eyelashes, etc). If you're male you probably won't be murdered for being bad at it but if you didn't win the genetic lottery you're just fucking fucked. I'm the last cathegory.
I have friends and I get along with my coworkers, but I have no idea how to put on the "you should absolutely fuck me" charm when I know that the person I'm talking to has all the reasons on earth (and like 3 on Mars) to not even look at me.
I'm 22 and virtually only attracted to 18-25-year-olds. The guys who would be attracted to me are generally 30-50. The record was 57.
Fat gay guys do not exist. Fat straight guys are either ugly or taken.
>>17122938
How do I lower my standards?
>>17122960
>How do I lower my standards?
Depends a lot. What are you expecting from the people that you desire that the people don't have? What I'm really trying to get to know here is if you have any contradicting beliefs about what you want. Sort of how women always want someone who is nice, listens to them, etc. but men always think they go for people who display none of those characteristics.
If what you're searching for isn't overly superficial or specific, such as a person being birthed the 17th of October, having a very rare natural hair color or a person who has heterochromia, chances are you might just not be seeing that they actually are matching what you want. Might also not be the case so let's move on to the punchline instead.
I'm not by a long shot an expert on this but perhaps you could try making a list of the most important aspects; we all have a few weird things we would like but could do perfectly fine without. Then score them relative to each other (e.g. grade them 1 to N). Realize that typically getting something from from the top of the list is what makes you guess that a partner is alright, even when a partner seems to tick off everything on the list you might find later that they lack something or have some really horrendous trait.
Long story short; get to know what's most important for you. You're not going to be sure you get everything that's important, and it should typically be fine so long as your partner is good enough overall. If you don't take chances in meeting people you won't get anyone.
>>17122960
what a catch 22.
Stressed because you take the hormones,
Stressed because you aren't taking the hormones.
Sorry to hear that.
At best guys groom facial hair and try not to get stupid haircuts, dressing well also helps abit.
You need to have more confidence and not think of reasons to sabotage yourself, never let your reasons be there reasons.
>>17122987
I just never see people that I'd desire. Looking at grindr right now, all these guys look harsh, cold and unpleasant. They all have that look that they expect you to put out ASAP and pay for the drinks if you're ugly.
I just want a thicker guy with a pleasant face and a sensible, kind personality who's genuinely interested in having a stable, long-term relationship.
Just someone that I can find pleasant and attractive and who could value ME more than the sex I could potentially provide.
>>17122993
They don't want to give me hormones because they're worried I'll cut myself or do something self-destructive. I'm seriously considering cutting my arms open if I don't hear from them by the end of next week.
I can't grow facial hair because they won't give me hormones. The best I can do is look like a particularly boring lesbian.
>>17123007
>grindr
>long-term relationship
Being this stupid is only cute when you're hot.
>>17122889
Are you faerie? Just asking, faerie's the only trans girl with ridiculously high standards i can think of. But i don't think she'd post without trip anyway.
>>17122910
>Which one of those is the easiest to fix?
Let's see...
>>ugly because transsexual
Can be somewhat fixed, depending on whether you're mtf or ftm. ftm is much easier to fix, if you're not fully passing and happy with your bod yet you need to go to your doc and get a better androgen prescription, or take them off-the-books if you really have to (go to /fit/ and check out the /fraud/ steroid general).
As for MTF, unfortunately you may be pretty out of luck if your bone structure isn't amenable to facial reconstruction. Just gotta accept that you're an ugly gal, and move on.
>>unpopular because autistic and weird
Do you actually have an autism diagnosis? Gonna take a wild guess: nope.
Even then this is fixable, i've seen it myself. Got 2 autistic friends that have more friends than me.
Join every social group you can, volunteer at things especially. Help organize workplace events, or join clubs if in school. Social adaptation for a weirdo is 80% effort, you may not ever have charisma but you can have a large social circle with enough patience and effort.
>>picky because I don't like old or skinny guys
Old guys is understandable (wouldn't even call that picky).
Not liking skinny guys is fine unless you also don't like fat guys and are looking for a fucking calvin klein model, in which case you need to slap yourself twice and stop dreaming.
>>poor because millenial with no rich parents or talent in any lucrative field
You don't need to be rich to date if you're looking for men, most don't give a flying fuck, gay or straight.
>>17123989
I'm ftm, I don't pass at all in any meaningful way, and I can't get into hormone treatments because the professionals working on my case are wasting my time for fun.
They did some sort of a blanket test for general mental disorders when I first sought diagnosis and they found some asperger traces, but not enough for a full diagnosis.
I'm not sure how to organise social groups. My work is irregular and most of my coworkers are in completely different life situations from me (divorced, kids and everything), I have other weirdo friends but the chances of meeting a guy who's gay, into me and attractive to me is literally zero. They're also not a particularly cool exclusive social clique anyone would be dying to get into.
I like fat guys pretty exclusively. I'm gay as hell but I'd still kiss a fat girl over a skinny guy.
>>17124119
If your docs are refusing to prescribe HRT because they're worried about your emotional stability, it'd be best to listen to them. It destabilizes your emotions by itself, when combined with other issues it becomes a threat to mental health.
What are their specific concerns, anyway? If you don't know what's wrong, go ask them.
Get therapy if needed, if you have a therapist (or better, psychiatrist) sign off on it that may change their minds.
If you're crazy and/or stupid enough you can give yourself custom HRT with enough knowledge of endocrinology and a good source of bodybuilding chemicals, but this is dangerous and irreversible so I'd advise against it. Your docs are probably concerned for good reason, and are reluctant to start a drastic and permanent procedure if it's likely to do more harm than good.
>I don't pass at all in any meaningful way
This is obviously a problem when you're into guys who are into guys, and will kill your sex life until you can fix it. Thankfully, it's not that hard, the hormones alone will usually do that once you get on them, and if they don't you can take "supplements" to get there (don't have to worry about damaging your HPG axis once you're done with the transitional period, so you can go a lot crazier than even biological dudes).
You can improve this for now by cutting down to as low a bodyfat as you can safely handle (maybe around 10% or so) and working out like a maniac, it'll help.
And of course, bi guys won't mind at all, but they're pretty rare in my experience. Helluva lot rarer than bi chicks.
>I have other weirdo friends but the chances of meeting a guy who's gay, into me and attractive to me is literally zero.
Probably true. Have you used OKC or other online dating sites? You'll probably have to rely on them.
Grindr is for casual sex, doubt you're gonna find a long-term relationship with it.
>>17122913
>all those onions
fucking gross
>>17124205
They're worried because I cut myself to get down whenever anxiety peaks. Hasn't happened for months now, but it might.
I've tried OkCupid and it's mostly old weirdos and young guys after casual sex.
What's HGP?
>>17124280
>I cut myself to get down whenever anxiety peaks. Hasn't happened for months now, but it might.
This is a problem. I gotta assume you're already seeing a psychiatrist and/or a therapist if you want HRT, why isn't it under control yet?
First of all, the anxiety itself should be controlled. Even if you haven't gotten that done yet, you should certainly have replaced cutting with a better coping mechanism by now.
As for HPG axis, it's short for "Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Gonadal axis".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypothalamic%E2%80%93pituitary%E2%80%93gonadal_axis
Basically, guys with a functioning male reproductive system have to worry about fucking up their junk when they take hormones (ie roids) since the body carefully regulates the amount in the blood. When a guy shoots himself up with testosterone, he risks all kinds of side effects, since all androgens suppress his natural T production: the hypothalamus (H) says "look, there's way more than enough in the blood, let's tell the balls to stop making it" and sends suppression signals via the pituitary (P) to the gonads (G). That's why roiders' balls shrink.
Then after they stop taking it (must limit cycles to keep this suppression from permanently damaging the axis), they get a huge spike in estrogen and inertia on the T before it comes back up, so during that phase they have to use a PCT (post-cycle therapy) with drugs like tamoxifen to prevent feminization and other side effects (eg gynecomastia, ie growing tits).
Since you don't have any normal male HPG axis (for you, the G part = ovaries), you have to do a transition protocol first, to get your body into "male" mode. Once that's out of the way, you'll be free to experiment with androgenic compounds until you get what you're aiming for. In short: you'll pass. With flying colors, so to speak.
Just gotta get your other issues out of the way first.
>>17124547
That's the thing. They told me I can't transition before they find me a shrink, and so far they've taken well over a month to find me one. They said processing these things usually takes three weeks, but the lines are long and they have to prioritise emergencies.
I wonder what I have to do to make myself an emergency.
>>17124728
Get another doctor's opinion?
>>17124728
>They told me I can't transition before they find me a shrink, and so far they've taken well over a month to find me one. They said processing these things usually takes three weeks, but the lines are long and they have to prioritise emergencies.
Unfortunately, that's a feature of most govt-run healthcare systems. The NHS (or whatever system you're under) provide care when it's convenient for them, not for you.
Basically all you can do is be patient for now, they'll get around to you eventually.
When it gets to 6 months or 1 year, then start to get pissed-off, call around, see what you can do to get things moving.
>I wonder what I have to do to make myself an emergency.
Don't, there are people who need more important shit that are on those huge waiting lists as well (eg people with BPD or other cluster-B disorders that are a danger not only to themselves, but to others as well, i've talked to some anons on /adv/ in that exact situation).
What do you do for a living? If you have a decent job (or family/friends that can help) and are in a country with this option, you can go with a private-practice psychiatrist and pay them directly. Usually not cheap (typically $200-$400 per appointment in the US, for example) but it beats the hell out of a potential 6-month wait.
If everything turns out alright and they can get you sorted out quickly, you won't be on the hook for more than a few appointments, you just ask them to send your files to whoever's the primary on the transition and continue with them in the public system. Unless they want more work done, they'll just get you started on the HRT, which will be faster and simpler since it (hopefully) won't require extensive specialist care.
>>17125093
Doctor's opinion doesn't matter worth a shit to the bureaucratic mechanisms that decide when OP gets his turn. They'll apply the same diagnostic codes and OP will probably get stuck on an equally long waiting list, just at the very end instead of 1 month in.
>>17122889
You change at least one of these things. Some are easier to change than others, but none are completely immutable.
>>17125368
The matter is, I'm not sure if I can make it that long. It's been a year this far, and I'm tired.
>>17122910
>transsexual
To the trash it goes.
