>>17120825
Embarrased.
Next question!

>>17120825
>I was too drunk to say no.

Kindly fuck off.

Well, you were drunk, so it can be considered rape. I really, really, hope you don't go off and try reporting him and getting him fucked over, honestly. It just sounds like you just regret it happened, and that's fine.

you both drank... How do you know you didn't rape him?

>>17120825
>I'm clearly to stupid to be accountable for the consequences of my actions
>r-right guys
fuck you

>>17120825
It's kind of up to you how you feel about it, but I'd technically call that rape. You need enthusiastic consent from both parties. This is only important to know in a legal sense though, how you feel about it and how you feel about him is a different matter entirely. If he was drunk too you could say he wasn't in the right mind to consent either but I wasn't there so I don't know.

>>17120825
>I just feel like I raped.
Yes. You did rape.
He was at his lowest, you took him out, got him drunk, and had sex with him. If I were him, I'd press charges.

Why do you morons always fall for obvious bait? It's like you enjoy being trolled.

He raped you...

Depends what you mean by too drunk to say no. Were you aware of your surroundings and what was happening? Were you conscious? If you say no to both, it could very reasonably be called rape. Even if you say yes there's potential for it to be called rape legally although it's a bit more gray morally. But unless he was sober enough himself to be aware of and consciously take advantage of you, had spiked your drink/s, or had premeditated doing this it'd be shitty for you to prosecute him. Sometimes it's possible to wrong someone sexually and be wronged sexually yourself. He might feel just as shitty about it as you.

A long time ago on /adv/ a woman came here talking about how her boyfriend raped her. She said she'd confessed to him about her BDSM/rape fantasies, she didn't ask in any way for them to be carried out and she was experienced enough to know to talk to him about her limits and such, but the conversation ended at a confession of them, and before another conversation could come up they ended up having sex. She didn't want it, he held her down and forced her to spread her legs as she protested the entire time. He thought he was doing what she wanted, she didn't figure out a way to articulate to him this isn't what she had meant during. Did he rape her? Yes. Was he as distraught about it as she was? Absolutely. She told him after the fact and the relationship crumbled, she had no interest in prosecuting him because she could tell it wasn't really his fault, just a horrible, tragic miscommunication. They realistically both needed therapy after it, and you might need it too. That's up to you. Use your best judgement to determine if this was shitty drunken/pity sex that made you feel wrong and gross, an unfortunate, tragic situation like the above (that may or may not be rape), or a deliberately cruel rape by someone who is genuinely worth prosecuting.

>>17120877
Fucking no.

There's no law making it a requirement. Consent can be implied and a court will see you strippign and starting to suck a dick as part of your consenting.

Ironically, a guy's consent doesn't seem to matter to feminist faggots.

>>17120825
You can't take back consent after the fact. But it's still okay to have regrets and feel bad. Just don't throw other people under the bus because you feel shitty. You might want to talk out your feelings with somebody you trust.

>>17120939
>There's no law making it a requirement.

I think one actually recently passed in California or something. Which is a little fucked up.

>>17120943
>You can't take back consent after the fact.
You absolutely can take back consent after giving it. Not after the act has been finished, but during the act you are free to revoke consent at any time. If, suddenly, you're in enormous pain physically and you want it to stop, or if your partner's not respecting your limits, or whatever else (reasonable or otherwise) makes you want to stop, you can ask for it to stop. And then it should. I agree with the rest of your post, although we don't have enough information to determine whether the situation OP poses was rape or not. She didn't give any real idea of whether she consented or reciprocated.

>>17120954
> Not after the act has been finished

This is what I was saying. OP can't decide it was rape a few days later if they were consenting at the time.

I agree that the issue depends on determining whether they were actually consenting or capable of consent at the time. But in cases where the potential victim starts off by saying they are unsure if they consented or not, I tend to lean towards the assumption that they did consent if I've got nothing else to go on. Sometimes people confuse their own feelings of regret with the idea of being attacked when they don't want to blame themselves.

>>17120948
For college campuses yes

>>17120985
>>17120954
>>17121004


Which is why rape is a nice standard when its about force.

Who says what's in the mind of a person, a man or a woman? What if you think they're consenting because they're not saying no and letting you undress them? They could be traumatized from a past event and frozen in fear.

In addition to that, what if they said yes out of trauma, such as the slut who's spreading her legs because daddy touched her, and she's not really enjoying the fucking the whole time, and its just re-traumatizing her as she's getting drilled and the day later when she knows she got drilled?

If consent is something completely within someone's head, then the argument for consent is from a completely subjective experience, and, as such, means that no matter how irrational or insane, a person can believe they were raped and even experience the trauma of that belief, and it would be considered rape.

This is the effect of yes means yes and beyond.

If consent is about what a person thinks on the inside, then it doesn't matter what they say on the outside. If what they say matters only and not what they think or feel, then its not their pain which matters, so you can take broken girls and abuse them like in 50 Shades of Grey and its all cool and legal.

Women are stupid like that. They don't get that you can't really legislate rape past forced entry. Not without it being cruel and abusive. If more women got hit and hit hard by rape laws, they'd be crying out for less restriction.

You're just embarrassed UNLESS you were literally passed out. Don't ruin his life because you regret fucking him - even if you were drunk.

>>17121037
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/connecticut-senate-passes-affirmative-consent-bill/article/2590533

Do you even know what rape is?

Because it sounds to me like both parties in this situation were either consenting at the time, or so out of their minds that they could neither consent nor deny.

That is a MISTAKE, not RAPE.

If he were to purposely get you drunk until you were unable to even stand properly, and then take advantage of you while he's still in a conscious state of mind, then it would be rape.

Two people getting drunk and having sex is just two idiots that don't know their limits. Neither is the victim nor the perpetrator.

Oh, and I think these laws are fucking stupid. A bunch of back-wood states trying to bring attention to themselves by adopting an extreme policy that's ultimately going to end up criminalizing more innocent people, and preventing ZERO actual rapes.


I'm tired of reading this trash.

>>17120825
Nice b8 m8 I really need to go cause I have a meting at8 so bb m8 see you at 8

>>17120825
Yeah, I'd say you raped him.

>>17120825
If he was drunk then you actually raped him.

>>17120825
It's shitty that you got your friend drunk and raped him, OP. It's probably a good idea that you turn yourself in to local law enforcement so you can be imprisoned and registered as a sexual offender. While it's disgusting you took advantage of him in his vulnerable state, I truly hope you are able to learn from this and turn your life around.

>>17120825

>I just feel like I raped.

Unless you literally couldn't move anymore, you weren't. As long as you went along with it, it was your decision.

Alcohol doesn't play a role (unless you passed out/ couldn't move/ resist), cause: Do you want YOU RAPED HIM as well, just because he drank as well? Don't be stupid.

That you even consider destroying your friends life over you regretting consentually sleeping with him, tells me you are not really his "friend".

You are a shitty person btw. OP.

>>17120825
jesus christ lets flip the script for a second and read this story again

>took a friend out when she was at her lowest because i legit felt sorry for her
>got her drunk and we had sex


annnnddd the man in this story goes to prison for 15 years

think i'll stick to porn for ever and ever, at least i'll be a free man

>>17120825
He took advantage of your kindness OP. He is a creep

>>17120825
OP you just got caught in the moment and let the alcohol take over for the responsible adult you are. Don`t blame the guy, because you are as much to blame for this. What you feel is regret.

>>17120825
This really depends on how drunk you were in my opinion, if you were sober enough to participate and be into it at the time, then how was he to know? He could have been very drunk too.
If you were like passed out/unable to stand/speak then it's quite fucked up.

>>17120825
Frankly, look at this situation:
>Adam and Bob get drunk.
>Adam and Bob have sex.
Who raped who? You tell me.
You likewise haven't told us anything that would make us suspect your friend raped you.
So why would you conclude that? Is there additional information?
Or are you thinking he raped you because he's a man and you're a woman?
In that case, did Adam and Bob rape each other? Should they both go to prison?

As for the alcohol, let me put it this way. I have severe anxiety issues and cannot have sex at all without being taking powerful anxiolytics (alcohol is a weak one for me!) that take away my normal inhibitions and cloud my judgement. When I have sex with someone, are they raping me? No. I still have the duty to control my mind and body regardless of the substances I am on, and if I have sex with someone while under the influence of those anxiolytics, it would be absolutely wrong to blame anyone for taking advantage of me. I know what those pills do, I know what may happen when I take them. If I have sex with someone I didn't intend to because they make me very bad at saying "no", then I just have to accept that as a consequence of taking that medication.

Even if that sex makes me feel very dirty, such as if it was anal sex with a cheap crossdressing male hooker with a hairy cock, nipple rings, heroin-needle track marks, and a handlebar mustache (i'm a straight man), I have to accept it. That's what my stoned self wanted. I can't blame Jim the man-whore, as far as he knew I was loving every minute of it. And I even tipped.

Don't feel too bad. When people get really hammered, sex happens. Sometimes the wrong sex, or with the wrong sex. But that doesn't make it rape.
Sure you can think "goddammit i'm such a moron i'm never drinking again", but don't think "oh god now i'm traumatized for life".
If you need therapy, go get it. But please don't blame anyone else for what your drunk self did.

>>17120825
>I just feel like I raped.

If you feel like you raped, then you probably have raped. Given the situation described, feeling sorry for him, taking him out for drinks, making him drunk then having sex with him although you knew he was depressed and emotionally unstable you used that to get what you want, sexual pleasure. I would go to the nearest police station and give myself in.

We can only hope, the thing you did to him didn't leave him emotinally traumatised.

>>17123928
>Who raped who?
Well that's simple, whichever was on top. The real question is if two lesbians got drunk and had sex, and no strap-ons were involved, did either of them rape each other?

I've had regrettable sex when I was drunk on several occasions. I never felt like it was even close to rape.

For me rape is far too strong of a word with massive consequences to use it on something like dirty, wrong, regrettable, drunken sex.

>too drunk to say no

you mean unconscious?
you know that alcohol doesn't turn you into somebody else right

also, why drink until you pass out? do you have any reason to do that? seems like the worst idea of all time lol

anyhow you're dumb as a door
just think that man has once crossed cape horn in wooden caravels and yet there you are getting passed out drunk like some nobody

get inspired, evolve

>>17124765
>you know that alcohol doesn't turn you into somebody else right


You know that Phineas Gage became a different person because a spike ripped out part of his brain right?

A person is the sum of their brain. If someone is intoxicated, yes you could say the consciousness is still there, but it isn't exactly the same as the sober consciousness.

We live in a state of flux.

If things like a spike in the brain or alcohol can change our behavior, then is that not similar to saying that they control our behavior?

The same is true of chemical imbalance in the brain.


In other words, even the consciousness isn't as in control as it thinks it is.