I always hate breaking up, especially if you are well acquainted with family of hers. The only good way to do it though is sit her down and say it. Be ready to explain (doesn't need to be real, just make sure it's non-negotiable or something she could promise to change) and be ready to fend off pleading, begging, crying and maybe violence. I always do it at home, some people suggest public places (to nip crying/screaming) but I think in a serious case like engagement more private is better. But make sure you do it, you will regret it forever otherwise.

Also wanna tell us the complications?

>>17119157
Here's the thing, she loves me. I can tell. But she has made me cut ties with my friends. She says it's because they're bad influences (my friends are either potheads or womanizers. But I do it for her because I'm a fucking idiot.) But she always doesn't seem to mind my best friend, let's call him Jeremy. Jeremy and I have been best friends for about seven years now. He's the guy who actually watched my life progress. Back when I had girl problems, he was there. Back when I had a soul crushing depression that no one else could understand, he was there. Back when I was at the lowest point of my life, he was there. Even when I finally got my shit together and became successful for my age, he was still there, he wasn't that fairweather friend that only stuck to you when he needed you, or only hung out with you when you're at your lowest, he never got jealous of my accomplishments. He was there with me. Hell, he even knew how I lost my virginity to a girl.

But one day, we started drinking. Just two guys drinking, not even at a titty bar, just a plain, honest-to-god bar. We were only out for two hours, but Jeremy just got back from an 8 hour trip and needed a place to stay for the night. My girlfriend, got mad (BECAUSE WE WENT OUT FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS. I'm still fucking confused up to this point) and threatened to make him leave. I felt insulted and started arguing with her. She started raising her voice, one thing lead to another and Jeremy overheard us fighting.

After we fought I saw Jeremy's last text and it said something to this effect "I'm gonna leave, bro. I don't want to get in between you two. Goodbye, man".

I just don't want a girl who wants me to cut ties with the people I love, especially someone who's actually been there for me during the worst and best parts of my life.

>>17119219
Sorry if I can;'t explain properly I'm actually drunk as I'm typing this. But if you have any questions just shoot away.

>>17119227
>>17119219
This is actually textbook part 1:introduction level emotional abuse.

You say your gf loves you, but looking at how she doesn't care about your happiness it seems she only loves what you can provide for her. These friends are all "bad influence" because they show you what life without a bitch gf looks like. Jeremy was OK because he added to your stability, but was a treat when you were stable and you guys wanted to have fun.

Honestly I've seen this scenario play out more often than I can count on one hand, and it never ends well for the guy unless he breaks up. And many guys manage to break up but then get back together after begging/promising etc. These are the guys that slowly fade out of your life, where after dozens of rejections even best friends stop sending invites.

I've been there too. I've wasted 5 years on a girl where I mistook clinginess for love, and emotional abuse jealousy/misunderstanding. Of course she was the one pushing for living together, marriage etc all because of "bonding" or "commitment" and other BS. Even dropped the line "if we live together I would be more comfortable having sex". She even told me me having my own apartment wasn't comfortable enough because she feels like some random girl coming over. Textbook manipulation.

Sometimes I'm mad at myself for being so dumb and wasting so much time, but in the end it helped me dodge so many bullets. Do what's best OP

>>17119265

Thank you for the advice, anon.

But what can I do... What can I tell her parents? My parents? All my friends? Our relatives?

I feel like this decision will make me lose face. The wedding has been hyped up too much. I'm going to feel like an actual idiot if it doesn't come to fruition. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. It's like I just want to move to another town and start over with a different name.

>>17119265
Also, I live in a backwards-ass country where real shit like emotional abuse is solved by just "manning up, at least that's how you know she loves you" so my hands are pretty much tied. That ignorant bullshit is pretty much the norm here.

>>17119274
Maybe think about how much of an idiot you will look like after the wedding.

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>>17119291
Good advice. Thank you, anon. I'll think this over for a few days and plan out what to do with my life. For now I'm a drunken mess.

One more piece of advice, talk to your friends about it. Also make it final. "I am going to break up.", they will want to know why, so tell them.

The rationale is that your fiance is going to spread shit about you as soon as you leave the room, seen it often enough. Be proactive and let your friends hear your story first. That way her bullshit won't stick.

>>17119274
>What can I tell her parents?
Nothing, she'll have to break it to them. In the last I sometimes sent a message like "hey it didn't work out between anonette and me, but I still wanted to tell you I've always felt very welcome etc. Etc."


>My parents?
>All my friends?
>Our relatives?
Tell them it just didn't work out. You need to come up with a good answer anyways to your gf so might as well use that, or just say "it didn't work out, but I don't really want to talk about it further"
This really is the least of your concerns

>>17119308
What hurts the most is Jeremy is one of the people that actually supports my relationship with... let's call here Kait. My mom loves Kait, every single relative of mine loves Kait. Shit, they've even booked tickets just for our wedding. I think I'm the only person who suffers from her clinginess. Everyone else thinks she's an angel.

It's gonna be tough convincing people that I'm not in the wrong, because relatives only knew me for what I was: the black sheep. They don't see me as a guy who got his shit together, the see me as a guy that Kait fixed.

>>17119322
Yeah kait has been fixing you to suit her personal goals mostly. This is going to ruin your life, even if you already paid every wedding expense and your whole family hates you forever it would still be worth it because at least you didn't ruin your life.

Also you can just tell your family "I know Kate and I looked perfect together, but there were a lot of things people don't see from the outside"

Fuck man, that sounds shitty.
Regardless of how you do it, please do it.
My uncle, to whom I am very close, told me "You've suffered enough, you're responsible for your own happiness in the first place. Enjoy your life"
Live by these words and dump her.
Hope everything works out fine for you random anon

>>17119413
>>17119379
>>17119311

Thanks dudes. I can;t believe text from a couple of guys I don't know actually warm my heart. This is the first time I felt this in a long time. Truthfully I'm not even happy with her anymore. This is fucking embarassing, but I often I find myself dreaming about dating a girl, (any girl that isn't Kait, could be this cute girl i went to graduate school with, or an old friend of mine who "got away") then wake up with Kait lying next to me. I can't even explain the sadness that brings me every morning. I don't think i love her anymore, I just wish the world around me felt the same about her.

>>17119446
Yeah man a lot of guys have been there. And you hate yourself for being too weak and not doing what is best, but one day you just gotta bite the bullet and you need to do it quick. Your brain likes the known and dreads the unknown, so it will provide you with plenty excuses to not dump her, but rationally you know what is best for you.

In 1 year you will look back and laugh that you even considered NOT breaking up over petty things such as a wedding and relatives. Remember there's men with a wife and 3 kids that leave because they just can't take one more day of it. You're still gonna get away with no real consequences aside from some temporary social turmoil.

Godspeed OP

>>17119120
IMO OP you should try to calmly talk about this to your gf/fiancee before doing anything huge. Make your intentions clear, and if she still doesn't budge, then break up with her.