I'm friends with a guy who consistently lies.
As a bit of background -
We met 6 years ago working in a fast food restaurant. I was 16, he was 28. He was poorly groomed and has a deformity. Coworkers, management, and often customers were extremely rude to him. He didn't have a vehicle, so I offered rides home. My younger sibling has mental retardation and I've developed a soft spot for people of this nature.
One year into our friendship, my boyfriend at the time dumped me for another woman. I did not tell my friend about this. He overheard me talking to a closer friend at work about it. Next week I received anonymous flowers at work. I spoke to my friend and explained it wasn't appropriate. His advances have never stopped.
Two years into our friendship, I get my first apartment. I find out he's lived with his aunt his entire life, even through his 10 year marriage and birth of his two children. He asks to move in as my roommate, saying he wants to gain his independence. I agree. We both get better jobs. Then I start realizing how often he lies. I confront him about it, he swears to be more honest.
Two years later, he escalated from little lies about not knowing where my favorite coffee mug went (he broke it) to telling his parents we were engaged, and ultimately telling his family I was carrying his child. I was appalled, so I confronted him, moved out, and limited our contact. He would sit outside my job begging to talk.
A year later, we're finally on decent terms. He's still telling petty lies, but I'm the only friend he has and I feel obligated to hang around. He asks to come over and house sit for me during an overnight shift. (I live in a bad neighborhood.) I have a bird and two cats. He breaks my rules and let's the bird out. The bird died. He didn't tell me this, I found my parrot in his cage. He lied to me about what happened, I pieced it together myself.
Here we are now, year 6. I'm burned out. What should I do?
>>17117302
Op tell him to stop lying or he can fuck off. People learn when being straightforward
Don't fuck with him anymore. You've given him enough chances already.
>>17117302
>He asks to move in as my roommate, saying he wants to gain his independence. I agree.
That was your first huge mistake. You were absolutely fine and nice up to that point. But come on, you knew where this was going. I don't know why you're punishing yourself by helping this extremely troubled guy out.
I understand he's lonely and stuff, but your kindness and generosity is warped by this guy not only being borderline retarded, he's also clearly in love with you. That can't be good for anyone, but especially not you.
>>17117309
That's difficult for me, but good advice
>>17117325
I worked with special needs kids in high school. A lot of the boys would get little crushes on me, so I thought I could handle him. Clearly I underestimated his abilities here.
>>17117350
So did my mom, and I can appreciate the absolute patience and willpower one must have to do so. So I'm not saying you're an idiot for your compassion, by any means. But adults, especially ones that develop feelings for you, you're going to be dealing with this shit all the time. It'll essentially never end.
For what it's worth I think you're a great person, but I worry about you
I think he has mental problems, perhaps he is obsessed with you, he might even be agressive if you reject him.
Is this bait? Or an elaborate story?
The age gap is insane, you let him move in with you, gave him 6 years of unecessary re-do's and still always got fucked over, and you come here to complain?
Avoid that fucker indefinately. Hes some older dude who went insane being a fucking autist and needs to lie to make his life seem interesting and it gives him something to talk about.
I want to yell at you personally for making this many mistakes. His life isnt yours to worry about. He made his bed, let him sleep in it.
>12 years older than you
>"we should be roommates"
You are literally retarded. Stop talking to this parasitic leech
>>17117380
Mentally, he was much younger. Although I personally don't think age disqualifies a shared living arrangement. My former roommate was a 32 year old divorced woman. She was great.
>>17117372
Not bait, unfortunately.
I'm not understanding your aggression, Anon.
>>17117371
He hasn't been aggressive so far. He raised his voice once, and only once.
>>17117353
You're very kind, thank you.
