Started dating this guy 4 months ago, I had never dated anyone prior just because I was always so self concious. All started out great would see him quite often and we would have a great time together, and he would constantly tell me how beautiful I was (because I think he realised that I had shite self esteem issues).
After 2 months I noticed that he'd only speak to me maybe once or twice a week and I'd only see him once a week. Eventually it got to the point where he wouldn't speak to me for 3 weeks and I decided to end it as it was starting to have an emotional toll.
Prior to that I was away for another 3 weeks and he spoke to me very regular during that period and would tell me how much he missed me, but as soon as I came back he blanked me.
So you'd think that I'd be relived but for the past 4 days I can't stop crying and its getting to the point where I'm not even getting out of bed, to make things worse it's exam season and I have no motivation to study (which is odd for me) I just spend all my time crying and over analysing the relationship.
I think what makes it worse was that prior to the break up I was also having occasional break downs.
Like I said this is the 1st guy that I've ever dated and slept with and I just don't really know how to stop being fixated, as to why his behaviour when we were together and when we were not was so different.
Its also the generic thoughts like will I ever find a guy that will like me as much as he did, will I die alone just because so few/no one has ever taken interest in me before
I've just been through a very hard break up too (except it was almost 3 years).
Honestly the best thing I found is to talk to someone (in my case it was a post on here that made me feel better and talking to a person who was basically a stranger). Some people can be total assholes and the even though it is hard right now you will overcome it. I'm sure if you message one of your friends and ask if they can talk they'll be happy to listen. If not, /adv/ can be pretty helpful most of the time. Here to help OP.
>>17111354
Some one will take interest in you, I know how it feels to be worthless and uncared for, left craving affection etc, but there's always someone else.
>>17111349
Write down your thoughts about the relationship, what worked and what didn't work. Think about the best qualities he had and those which didn't help the relationship. Think about what you can improve to be a better girlfriend.
Use them to improve yourself and understand what you want.
After you've done it, start getting over it: just talk to your friends (or online people - when I was feeling down talking to strangers helped me lots), focus on yourself and your hobbies and try to enjoy yourself.
Everyone's first relationship fails. Use it to learn about yourself and what you want, and then move on.
Stay strong OP!
>>17111359
>I've just been through a very hard break up too (except it was almost 3 years).
>Honestly the best thing I found is to talk to someone (in my case it was a post on here that made me feel better and talking to a person who was basically a stranger). Some people can be total assholes and the even though it is hard right now you will overcome it. I'm sure if you message one of your friends and ask if they can talk they'll be happy to listen. If not, /adv/ can be pretty helpful most of the time. Here to help OP.
Thank you anon, I know I feel absolutely pathetic because people have been in so much worse break ups/longer relationships and yet they are still able to deal with these situations and for some reason every time I think about this it makes me even more depressed and feel pathetic for being so emotionally weak
As for speaking to my friends they encouraged me to break up with him a long time ago and I didn't listen, ive avoided speaking to anyone just because they may view me as being childish and pathetic
>>17111362
Thank you anon, I hear this so often yet its so difficult to truly believe it
>>17111375
My plans are to go out, surround myself with people who are not like my ex and get professional help on coping/stress/anxiety (I can't deal with any of them and it's taken a heartbreak to show me that). Then when you start to enjoy yourself you'll find someone who matches you perfectly and your friends will like him and you will forget your feelings for the other guy. Even if you always have feelings for him (being a first can be difficult to forget) you will learn to disregard them. Writting is also a good outlet, I did a mind map of all the things I felt were wrong with me/my relationship. It'sa good way to express emotion.
>>17111371
Thank you anon, this sounds like a great therapeutic method, you always hear people saying 'work on becoming the best person you can be and stuff like that'. I was reasonably happy before this relationship except for the occasional depressive episodes that occurred bi-annually and I really worked on looking at things in a positive light and accepted my single life. But I feel like this relationship was basically my taste of intimacy/dating and its made me realise what I was missing out on. I'm definitely going to try that method
>>17111349
Graduate high school first. Thought you needed to be over 18 to post here.
>>17111416
Anon I'm 24
>>17111419
Yeah but you have the mentality of a high schooler. 4 months is nothing. There was an emotional disconnect, be glad that it didn't take longer instead of crying about it. You can learn from it, but being bed-ridden cause some douche lost interest in you is pretty damn pathetic. I used to do that when I was 15.
>>17111431
Well as we have already established I am fully aware that my behaviour is juvenile and irrational. Which is exactly why I made this thread to begin with to get advice on how to stop. 'Get over it' is not constructive advice
>>17111431
Not everyone can be like you, anon
>>17111389
No worries anon :) I hope it goes well.
Maybe try talking to a therapist if you feel like you have things to work on, depressive episodes might be the expression of other problems.
lol is his name Brian Bush
>>17111482
Ha what?...
Kek, you got into it too much for such a short relationship. If you didn't see him that often and started slow instead, you wouldn't get that attached. If you didn't sleep with him so early, you wouldn't get that attached. There'd be no problem. The guy wasn't serious about you from day one, most likely, OR unstable emotionally which isn't good either. You'll find someone stable who actually likes you. Just don't let the things be rushed in the future.
Although I feel bad for the guy who falls for you if he'll have to wait for your used goods pussay for a long time because of this prick who just dumped you.
