So I started dating this girl a little over 6 months ago. I knew prior to us getting together she had an addiction to heroin, but at the time wasn't using. Even came to me one night telling me how she almost relapsed but didn't.
Fast forward a few months. She gets picked up for possession of a little bit of weed and a needle, while on probation.
She spends 40 days in jail and the possession charges get dropped because of the circumstance (the items were in her bag she had left at a house and the cops were there when she picked up the bag, essentially someone else took the blame for it.)
Anyway after she gets out of jail I finally get the truth about her using. Although it wasn't as if I was surprised. Decide I'll fucking stick out because I love this girl.
Maybe a week later from her release from jail, she goes dark. I can't get a hold of her all fucking day. She finally gets back to me around 5PM or so, says she was buys and took a nap (for like 12 fucking hours). She comes over to my place, eyes constricted and glazed and proceeds to deny that she had been using. So despite her eyes I just accept it and move on.
A couple of days later I take her to a party and we both do some MDMA (yes I do drugs too, just never anything involving a needle). Well molly is kind of a truth serum at times. So I ask her again about the other night and she comes clean. Tells me not only did she get high, but she almost fucking died. Naturally I lose my shit over this and we fight. I should have ended things there, but I didn't. Nope I kept fucking hoping for a change.
>>17109008
About a week later, at my friends for a little party. I go to pick her up from her place and take her to the party (she had been at work). She was also in a different town than the party so there was a good amount of time from her getting off work to us picking her up, ect. I pick her up and her fucking eyes are pins yet again and this is nighttime mind you. I put it aside, because by this time we're already at my friends and I don't need this kind of confrontation so I let it go and tell myself maybe I'm wrong about her eyes for some reason. The next day we wake up and her eyes have gone back to normal, deepening my convictions.
Anyway I'm kind of rambling on at this point. I've noticed her eyes constricted again. Last night she was over at my apartment and I confronted her about it, of course she denied being high. I told her I don't trust her and I don't have a reason to (because she's obviously lied about this the entire relationship).
We basically half broke up. She left last night and still has a lot of her stuff over here. I told her I can't keep doing this, but a part of me is still fucking hanging on and I don't know what the fuck to do.
I want her to do better, because I know she is a good person. But these drugs are winning and the lies fucking hurt. So if anyone has some wisdom for me it would be much appreciated.
Bang her and then dump her.
If you already banged her then dump her and stop wasting your time with a damn junkie.
Why would she want and be able to just stop doing drugs because you would lile her to do so? Firstly, not many people can actually pull off getting and STAYING clean. Secondly, she would need professional help to do so and most importantly really want to quit HERSELF. drug addicts are obviously prone to lie, you can't complain about that one. You knew what you are getting yourself into. Basically, you expect her to act like a mature and functioning human, when obviously she isn't. Why do you do this to her and yourself?
>>17109008
>>17109011
I have a question - what's the real reason you're still fucking with a heroin junkie?
>You think you can't do better?
>You trying to save her Captain Save a Hoe?
>What is it?
There's always a reason, don't try this "But I love her" bullshit - what's the actual reason?
Also, how many times has she sucked dick or fucked for H? Any videos?
>>17109033
You make an excellent point. I've had the conversation about it with her. I said I'm not going to force you to do anything, either you want to stop or you don't. She said that she wanted to.
I want her to quit using, and she doesn't want to lose me. She can't quit so she's lying to keep me around.
The whole thing is destructive, so I should end it.
>>17109048
>Also, how many times has she sucked dick or fucked for H? Any videos?
She denies of course.
To my character flaws, yea, you're probably right. I'm trying to fix her, which is fucking retarded and I need to stop.
>>17109011
>a part of me is still fucking hanging on and I don't know what the fuck to do.
You need to have the wisdom to understand that addicts are always going to pick their drug over you. That you're heavily involved with drug use and people who do drugs yourself is going to dramatically lower the chances of her being able to quit and stay clean.
I'm not sure why you think it's "better" to do drugs that don't involve a needle. Yes, the chance of a debilitating physical addiction are lower, but you've already developed a compulsive need to do drugs and only an idiot thinks that taking mind-altering substances on a regular basis isn't going to somehow affect how their brain functions.
>>17109049
Ofc she wants to quit! Everyone with an addiction wants to quit...
Problem is, she doesn't seem to have it in her. It usually takes a bigger kick in the ass to get the real "need to quit". For some that might have been a "i almost died"-situation (which didn't help in her case, so she is probably pretty deep down that hole already), for others it might be getting pregnant or watching a friend die from it. But for some, they simply have gone bejond the point of no return and no "wake up call" will actually wake them up. Even stable and balanced people struggle with selfdisciplin. How can you possibly expect that from a junkie?
Yes, the whole thing is a ride down the drain. You should end it and also try to get out of it yourself (don't give me that "i only do mdma recrestionally, i have it under controle"-horseshit). Maybe YOU still have a chance to get a hold on your life.
you need to break up and she needs to take a lot of shrooms and get a therapist.
>>17109130
She's lost someone very close to her from the drug. She's almost died herself a few times. I don't know where the fucking bottom could possibly be for her.
As for my drug use, I agree with you. I should stop. I recently quit smoking, which has been hard. Everyone I know smokes and going to the bars or concerts are no help either.
>>17109183
Well, then she already hit rock bottom and there is NO way she'll be able to get out of this on her own. And YOU don't posses that ability either. Only chance is that she gets locked away, but since that would be a forced "clean", she would relaps soon after. It's like with people who get liposuction. A few years later they are fat again. Simply because the change wasn't done with your own will. You mever learned to withstand the temptstion and you never had to bring up the willpower to make lasting change.
Good for you to wanting to quit. But remember what i said earlier. EVERYONE wanrs to quit. Only very, very few actually follow trough.
This is really not about "anyone else". You are not a teen under peer pressure. Those are lame excuses and you are fully aware. If you really wanted change, you'd take resposibility for your actions and stand your ground. Maybe that would mean getting a different lifedtyle and new friends. But sometimes, that is what it takes.
