How come /adv/ has such a long lost of "red flags" that immediately disqualifies someone as "dateable", yet is pretty keen on "damaged girls"? That seems rather contrarily...
They don't want to seriously date a girl with red flags but would be keen on fucking a girl who is damaged because it is easier.
Not hard to figure out.
/adv/ is not one person, and the most common posts are of insecurities
Because /adv/ is full of /r9k/, Nice Guy™s, and lonely frogs.
The r9k's and some Nice Guy™s will have lists of red flags while other Nice Guy™s an lonely frogs feel like "damaged" girls are more on their level, and some of both will pick "damaged" because they think it's easy to manipulate.
In the end, everyone is different and there is no collective /adv/ voice. It's a hodgepodge of loudest voices that you're talking about to begin with.
>>17108209
Figured as much. But i'm also stumbling across posts of people dating or loving those "damaged girls" and digging it. So?
>>17108215
Ofc it's not. But it seems to be a reoccuring theme
Still dating that heroin addict btw.
She's fucking lovely.
>>17108225
This
>>17108226
They feel damaged girls are easier to connect to than normal healthy girls. With a damaged girl you can be upfront with her and share you sorrow with each other without feeling like a pussy with a healthy girl you have to put on a front and appear happier than you already are.
Either way damaged girls aren't worth it in any circumstance. Smashing and then leaving her with nothing could ruin her for the worse.
I wish it was easier to find someone who was "repairing", ie damaged hut actively working on it. I feel like thats where I am in my life and both damaged and "perfect condition" feel out of place with me. But I guess given the choice, perfect is better because I don't want to hold back my own progress.
>>17108302
agreed. husband and I are both "repairing" types and often help fix each other. it's one reason we make it work instead of just being two damaged people drowning in their own and each other's issues.
so if you do find that repairing person, hang onto them even if it seems like you're both overwhelmed at times. they will have your back more than literally anybody else on earth except maybe your mom.
maybe you could look in places where people go for self-improvement? not necessarily mental health support groups or anything (though some couples have met there), but stuff like adult education classes, spiritual/worship services, anyplace where people are there to expand their horizons.
