It seems a lot of people on 4chan have the same problem. This could be said of a lot of problems. One is the one where you were a gifted (and probably praised) kid who didn't have to do anything until, say, late high school or college when you realized you didn't have any motivation to do anything and never learned how to do anything. Failing out of school, being neet or barely keeping a job, etc, ensues. Probably not knowing how to characterize the problem, or how it subjectively presents itself to you at least- just not doing anything or knowing how.
I've tried a lot. Medicine and "wanting to be better" but not feeling capable to do anything. So, depression, right? Everyone says it doesn't matter that I don't know if I feel "sad." I feel blank. I don't know what I feel at all. It's a void. This is what people say it's all about.
But since nothing seems to fix it, and now, having talked to a friend and having talked to other people online, I wonder if- whether this is technically "depression" or not- if depression is bullshit. Nothing seems to work to get myself out of this slump except the moments that- for whatever reason- I bring myself to do something. Then it works perfectly, no problem at all. It's easy to see the logic supporting people who say "depression is bullshit, you just need to stop being depressed." Because that's how it seems to stop, when it stops.
I guess I just wonder if it is bullshit. I know it's real as a phenomena, that's for sure. And it does suck, and it isn't (fully) deliberate. But maybe it's also ultimately something where you have to have confidence in yourself and try your hardest or else you'll be fucked forever? I feel I'm learning it's ANYTHING but an excuse for self pity.
Just rain check me on this /adv/
millennials pity themselves too much desu
most of 4chan are self absorbed and blame their shortcomings on something else, or fixate on one aspect of their life (virginity)
90% of those on here who claim to be depressed will be, but there is a very real difference between being in a depression (every has these) and having a chemical imbalance that makes you mentally ill (a minority)
>>17106677
Well, I figure, at least in the sense that what I'm describing has remained unchanged for 5 years, it probably would be (and has been) categorized more as a mentally ill thing. But I just don't know if it's more akin to a cold or a powerful and dangerous illusion.
>>17106692
...but even here, as I say that, I don't know if I'm reverting to self pity and clinging to a diagnosis, that's as problematic (or the same as) the disorder per se. It's so complicated...
>>17106692
what I should have said is:
You will continue to be depressed so long as you don't do anything with yourself. If you can convince yourself to become passionate about attaining something in your life, you may find a lifelong pursuit that will bring you satisfaction
>how do i convince myself
lie to yourself until you believe it
Try asking yourself this question: "What do I want in life", and then, "What would make me happy"
after you figure that out, as yourself "How do I get these things"
You could start by maybe getting in shape, and if you are in relative shape, making gains, or improving cardio or whatever. Its a great way to start caring about yourself and your life, if you want to be strong, or handsome, or if you want to be able to say you can run a marathon.
Maybe you want a sedentary life where you have free time to play video games and don't have to work long hours. You can do that in a few ways, but you'll have to do some work to get there in any sort of permanent fashion (own a business, collect autismbux, etc)
The real point of it all is that if you can give yourself direction in life, you will be more satisfied with your life. The particulars of your goals are irrelevant so long as you aren't doing something horrendous or self destructive.
In addition, having a proper balance of chemicals in your brain is related to your health and exercise. Eat healthier, get some sun, take a walk once a week, you will notice yourself having more good days. Mind you, exercise never feels good until you're at least a few weeks in to it.
>>17106677
I've had many people who have gotten the full details of my issues confirm for me that I'm definitely correct about thinking I'm mentally ill. Where's my prize?
>>17106721
i hear tumblr is gives them out :^)
>>17106733
Thanks :^)
>>17106631
I'm close to losing my job and failing my classes due to this.
I wish I knew how to break past the apathy.
Panic and numbness.
I just want to sleep forever. I want to live in my dreams.
>>17106855
My solution to that has generally been drugs. I know that really just brings on more problems, but it's worked fairly well for me. You probably shouldn't do it though
I experience depression which also leans heavily on apathy and numbness. Last week I would've said that I wanted to sleep forever exactly like you just did, but thankfully since then I've had a few things tilt things in my odds for once. I started getting high, which helps even if it isn't healthy, I'm done detoxing from Seroquel, and the Wellbutrin is finally having a positive effect I think.
Medication is obviously a complicated and personal issue, but they can usually help to at least some degree, it's just a matter of finding the right med/s. I've heard a lot of other people have good results on Wellbutrin. SSRI's didn't help me at all, but that doesn't mean they don't work for anyone. There's a whole world of sedatives out there which could help with panicking, and milder ones are fine to take every day without a risk of addiction. If none of the normal meds cut through severe depression, you can give atypical antipsychotics (Abilify, Seroquel, etc.) a try. The only reason I experienced withdrawal symptoms is that I failed to taper properly because I was desperate to escape reality.
All this med related advice shouldn't be taken to mean other methods can't be legitimate, this is just what I have advice on right now. Personally the only therapy which really helped me was group therapy at the psych ward, but your mileage will probably vary.
>>17106855
Similar situation to you, though I stopped being able to coast in middle school. Coasted anyway for the next 30 years, faing some classes and losing some jobs over it, but narrowly managing to stay employed by wowing the crowd whwn I actually did the work. Gamification helped for a while. For about six months, it was almost like magic.
There isn't much I wouldn't give to have those days back though. I still sort-of manage to struggle by on a certain minimum, but I have to drag myself kicking and screaming to even do that. I've ma aged to keep the tantrums internal, but I'm ashamed and exhausted. I just want to not have to fight myself every day to do baseline crap. Other adults don't seem to have to fight themselves for this: they may not always be enthusiastic, but they are not at war with themselves. I don't want to be either, but I know what peace looks likw, and it isn't acceptable.
