why are you talking to her at all

>I don't know why I do it, I feel like shit afterwards, but I can't tell her that.

Yes you can. Go say you're sorry and give her a hug. That would mean the entire fucking world to her. Have a normal conversation with her. Stop seeing her as a ball of mental illness who fucked up your childhood and see her as a human being. You're old enough to not be the little cunt who can get away with blaming her for everything anymore, grow up and act like it.

This doesn't mean you need to put up with her shit when she gets a bit loopy, but that also means she shouldn't have to put up with your shit when she's not.

give her a hug but then transition into choking her until she stops moving.

>>17102687

You haven't come to terms with the fact that your mother was having so much difficulty with her own life that she couldn't handle being responsible for the lives of others.

Welcome to the world, where parents are unfit to be parents and their children grow up to be just like them.

So youre a douche bag who has mommy issues? Work on being nice, fixing and then coming to terms with your relationship with your mom. Otherwise you'll end up yelling at the bipolar girls you date for the rest of your life.

Therapy. Your mother was unable to nurture you properly growing up so now you have great difficulty with your own feelings and you blame her for this because, technically, it is her fault.

If you don't want to be a shit person then you have to work on improving yourself and coming to terms with your feelings while trying to accept your mother for what she is and what she cannot be. It's horrible that she couldn't provide for you in ways that you needed, but you are an adult now who is responsible and able to take care of yourself. This means you must learn to provide yourself with emotional needs, just like food and water, because she cannot do this for you. She isn't capable of it.

Grieve for the love and mothering you never recieved, and then move on with your life and try not to let the cycle repeat itself if you ever have kids.

>>17102756
This

>>17102756
>Otherwise you'll end up yelling at the bipolar girls you date for the rest of your life.

Thirded. Especially this part.

>>17102705
>>17102731
>>17102756
>>17102757
>>17102759
>>17102763


Woahhh, this board is normally alot more shitty when it comes to irresponsible dads who dipped out. I don't understand this.

>>17102826
A mentally ill woman has no business raising a child. Assuming the uncles weren't abusive passing the son off to them was probably the best thing to do.

>>17102757
/thread

>>17102826
It's not about mom vs dad.
There's no malice in the story, she was just a shitty parent.

Now OP has the capability to be a good son, but he's being a dick just because he didn't like the way he was raised. THAT'S fucked up.

You can be a shitty person if you want OP.
Your mom had probably dealt with her fair share her entire life. But if in your mind you like to believe you're a good person, start by being a good son.

>>17102687
It's obvious that you haven't yet come to terms with your mother's illness. And yes, it's an illness like any other physical illness. Imagine if your mother had muscular dystrophy and was unable to take care of you. Would you be as mad at her as you are now? You simply can't be mad at her for something she can't control.

As someone who is dealing with severe mental issues as well, the most prevalent emotion that I have to deal with is debilitating guilt. I don't have kids but every time I try and ask for help or have an attack, I feel like a major burden to my family. I can't imagine the level of guilt your mother feels every time she sees you.

Understand that families aren't going to be like those on The Andy Griffith Show. You can't change the mother you have, so either you put in the effort to treat her like a human being, or you cut your ties with her for her sake.

>>17102872
To add another spin on this, you don't even have to be a good son. You don't need to take her out to meals and buy her thoughtful gifts just because and spend time and energy making her feel less guilty for your history.

All you need to do is not be a total cunt about it. That's all. All anyone can ever truly ask of you is that you don't be a complete arsehole to other people. It's not very difficult. You can manage it. The rest will either come in time, or it won't.

>>17102687
She's in the wrong for not raising you and even giving up and leaving you. Give her what she didn't give you, love your mom dude. You could bitch her out and never see her again, but you'd be no better than her.

An eye for eye leaves everyone blind