How long have you been married

did you get a pre-nupt

shes just not that into you

honestly though, she isnt interested in you physically or emotionally so i say you both need to have a talk about it and where to go with yor relationship

You've made your feelings known and she has made her feelings known. What happens next is up to you.

Do you two have any kids together?

>>17098873
13 years
>>17098875
no - no need for one. we both had shit when we married, we own everything jointly. Most everything else is fucking awesome, I just need to fuck.
>>17098880
Yep, I know, but like so many people who post in /adv/ she doesnt seem to take me seriously and I really dont want to threaten divorce or anything. Like I said above, otherwise its great, and desu, I was a pretty successful lady's man before we got together and she is still a top tier fuck, when it happens.

I seriously thought abut just pulling down her panties and shoving it in tonight.

>>17098891
2 kids,

but right, I know the next step is up to me and I am asking for advice on what that step should be.

When we've talked about it recently, she says she knows I need it and she likes it, but it always just seems to be too much effort and she is tired from work and kids and...

>>17098898

Work stress and kid stress has a way of killing sex lives. It would be stupid to end a relationship that's otherwise perfect over this issue, especially with kids involved. You need to calmly talk to her about this and tell her how frustrated you are without getting angry. It's possible that she's no longer as physically or emotionally attracted to you as she once was but I would say it's more stress related than anything else.

Also, I just imagine a 44 year old guy using 'desu', shit makes me cringe. You need to stop that.

>>17098922
I actually did use desu

I tried to type in the / adv / and it changed it for me

I have no idea wtf desu is

Something that works for me (wife and I have different libido levels) is that we have a scheduled 'sex date' which is usually something more intense.

A difficult thing would be some sort of open relationship.

Talk to her about it. What sort of things does she like?

>>17098931
fuck - did NOT use desu

>>17098898
get a babysitter? have a date night, on an off day? just try doing something ~special first before talking about anything more serious

>>17098932
she loves it when I go down on her and I love that too, but I have to get to that point.

See when we do have sex, it is great
its just not nearly enough

like for real, i could live with twice a week, but 2x a month is shit.

And babysitter is fine, but she is too tired

get off /adv/ and go to a marriage counselor

>>17098964
yep - I pretty much agree.

Next question, anyone know anyone that went to a marriage counselor and stayed married? I don't

>>17098893

>i thought about raping my wife tonight
>why won't she sleep with me

>>17098974
Agree that OP and wife need to go to counseling. Sex therapist or whatever. I never had any marriage issues, but as the wife who went back to work, managed the household, and both of us working 50-65 hr weeks, the sex pretty much got de-prioritized. I didn't realize how bad it was (like 3-4x a month), until my husband told me how important it was to him. Now, I love this guy more than anything else, and I still find him hot- but I was frankly burned out and didn't feel very sexy at all, so I didn't understand why he wanted to do it. I read some books, and we saw a counselor for 8 sessions. It rejuvenated our sex life and helped us communicate a lot better (frustrations, rejection, what kinks we each have and why).
Was really worth it. I love him (and actually, myself) a lot more now, and we just make eroticism a part of our every day life now. Doesn't work for everyone, but I'm glad he he told me how important it was to him. Honestly, if he hadn't told me I wouldn't have known the depth at which the rejection bothered him! Please consider it, OP

>>17099235
Sorry for my typos. In a bumpy Uber on mobile. I meant to say that 8 sessions of therapy is short for most couples. I read a lot of books on how to get my mind back in the sexy game before we actually went to a counselor. So we were both motivated and already exploring ways to re-ignite the carnal side of the relationship!

>>17098868
She doesn't love you anymore

Dread game her- don't give her attention until she puts out, stay out late, give other women more attention, etc. If she isn't clinging to you by this point, she doesn't care. Either do that or cheat/divorce since she's not doing her job.

Check out r/deadbedrooms (yeah i know it's plebbit but a lot of people struggle with this) and personally I'd make your wife an ultimatum. Tell her that sexual affection and intimacy are very important to yout and you feel your needs can't be ignored. If she's not interested in getting help, divorce or separation might be the best option.

Sex therapist. She might be approaching the change and her labido is starting to wane.

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>>17098868
>Yesterday she was out
man, where did she go ? very suspicious. Do you know her whereabouts most of the time ?

>>17098987
>rape
Don't be silly, they are married.

>>17099751
It's 2016, bro. Marriage doesn't mean the spouse is your property to fuck. At least not by most states' and federal law. If you believe it is, then I already know your views on slavery.

>>17099819
I used to think like you, then I met my wife.

>>17098932
You fucking normie cuck

>>17098868
She is cheating on you or is not attracted to you anymore. Do not listen to the cucks telling you that it is work and stress related. If she loved you she would want to please you. She clearly does ot care about you and would not mind being cheated on. She might be cheating herself.

You have a few options here. 1. Cheat on her and be married to her without caring if she does the same. 2. Find out if she cheats and ruin her reputation exposing her as a cheater while filing for divorce. 3. You give her an ultimatum while ignoring if she fucks others. Tell her to sleep more with you or you will file for divorce.

>>17099638
Pretty much this, dread is the way to go.

>>17099689
>look at r/deadbedrooms cause bored
>RAGE ENSUES

At a very, very basic level, part of entering into a marriage or really any relationship is agreeing that you will do your best to satisfy the other person's needs within reason.

If you don't understand this, you aren't mature enough to be in a relationship. Done.

>>17100132
no, retard

sometimes peoples libidos are just low from stress or fatigue, getting older, hormones

seriously please leave
the door is that way

>>>/r9k/

>>17069918
So basically exactly what this guy was describing