What do adults look for in friends?
I want someone i can sit around and do nothing with, like in king of the hill when they chill outside doing nothing. I want to go over to someones house and talk about or partake in a commonly shared hobby, but i'd also like to be able to loiter/loaf about at their house and or mine without it being seen as a big deal.
That's unattainable correct? If i met some random fucker off craigslist or a similar service he'd want to meet up to do work, he'd have an activity planned and scheduled but there would never be any hanging out for no reason, and that's basically what i want a friendship that has that.
Is it possible? how would i go about getting this?
INB4 jobs and school
i don't do any of those things anymore
Once you're 20 and have no friends you're basically fucked, it seems. Those types of friends you gotta cop during your early years...
>>17094692
TV sitcom friendships aren't real. Neighbors are real. Spouses and SOs are real. Co-workers are real. Even affinity groups are real (gaming groups, book clubs, sports leagues). Because of jobs and families, most people don't have enough time to cultivate "just chill" friendships. The nature of friendships change as people get older. People will drift in and out of your life as friends, but there's generally something that gives you a reason for bonding in the first place (job, SOs, children, shared hobby / interest).
my best friend and I live 3,000 miles apart now. But even though we travel to see each other twice a year, it's still like old times. We can basically loaf (because it's vacation time from work) and not feel like we have to entertain each other.
>>17094730
These tragic news.
>>17094730
>most people don't have chill friendships
>describes time spent with his best friend as just "loafing" (read: chilling)
u wot m8?
>>17094692
What kind of friend are you looking for? Sure, you describe the activities you want to do, but not the kind of friend you want.
I am in the same situation, but I have been making friends in the most random of places. Other day, literally bumped into a couple at a thrift shop, now we're scheduling regular dinners together. You gotta go out more OP.
varies among each person.
what you can almost guarantee is that a married person is going to be living under strict rules and norms that are almost unbreakable without severe consequences. it's more than being "pussy whipped", it's that people who live together fall into certain ways and routines and disrupting those, especially by suddenly including a new person, causes problems.
what you want to look for is a single/dating person who isn't so tied down yet, someone with pets rather than kids, and someone who has a chill lifestyle and isn't rushing to and fro without any time to hang out.
also i would never say there's an age limit on forming friendships, quite the opposite. it's that as you age you learn more about yourself and others and thus narrow down your friend/mate selections significantly, whereas as a teenager you tend to hang out with anyone, because no one has a fixed identity yet, everyone's stumbling in the dark basically.
personally i find it much easier as an adult (age 27) to make new friends than i did as a teenager. people aren't so cliquey, have learned to appreciate other aspects of people, etc. if you find that person who you share interests with and a sense of humor, a comradeship is almost a sure thing.
one thing to be aware of is that for many people their 20s are a time of eventual maturation, so you might find people past 25 wanting to distance themselves from activities they consider immature. it's not necessarily an insult to you but just a sign of their personally changing times.
>>17094888
Hey, I have several married couples who I am friends with and they are in no way under as strict and ridiculous rules as you insist. Who the fuck you hanging out with?
>>17094863
I'll tell you what i don't want, acquaintances. I don't care for the "hey, i know that guy from (location)" friends, you know the ones you run into at the convenience store or supermarket and make meaningless smalltalk with? i hate the idea of calling those people friends. I want a really close friendship, the type of friends i want are legitimate, real friends, the kind that would share with me things that they'd never tell anybody.
I want someone to lick my wounds and for me to return the favor, type of friends.
>>17094903
Okay, that's going to take a while then. You don't make those kinds of friends immediately, they take time. May I ask your gender? Friendships between men and women vary quite differently. I also have some articles you might want to read.
Dame thing kids looks for.
>>17094914
i'm a man, women can't have friends, they don't know the meaning of the word.
>>17094903
Those don't come easily unless you have something common to bond over, m8. Like colleagues who hate their boss or work together to get an impossible project done. Or two people who both lost their parent. or a sports club that meets regularly and functions as a team.
Otherwise, how else do you get to know someone? How well do any of us really know anyone unless you spend a fuckton of time with them and communicating with them?
>>17094925
We can, just very few of us find each other. I have several good female friends, I usually find most women to be horrible people but I have over the years found non-drama women who I can be good friends with.
Anyways, I will link you to several articles and a podcast from a good website: The Art of Manliness.
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2016/02/10/podcast-176-the-vanishing-neighbor-the-transformation-of-american-community/
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2014/12/09/how-to-build-unscaleable-relationships/
http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/09/26/the-5-types-of-friends-every-man-needs/
>>17094925
Fuck. I knew I shouldn't have bothered trying to help you. Kill yourself, desu
>>17094953
Agreed, OP is a faggot.
>>17094953
>>17094964
Look at how quickly you turn your backs on a person in need, simply because they hold a view that does not align with yours, absolute madness. How ever do you expect anyone to believe you can nurture any form of friendship if you're not willing to forgive others for holding conflicting views?
>>17094951
I will check them out, thank you. I appreciate the (you).
>>17094990
But look at how you also blocked out some possibly good people because you had such an extreme position. Keep that in mind.
>>17094692
>those edgy emo shit tier shonen lumped together with One Piece
>not even kid Goku
Jesus.
>>17095111
The best advice had been posted by the time they replied, they would have had nothing useful to offer anyway.
>>17094692
Did you even watch koth? They were all childhood friends, never any time apart from each other since they were 6. That's a big difference.
>>17094692
no friends ever started just loafing about unless its a loafing activity like hanging at a bar or in a stoner circle or something, but even then when you try to incorporate them into your life you need a pretense.
after the first few times pretense is quickly dropped though. when you first meet someone its
>hey want to come over for some pizza and video games?
after that its just
>hey wanna chill?
it takes a little time but you can get there. dont ask questions then insist there is no answer though
>>17094692
Normies don't Loaf OP. They always want to do something, because they don't know how to entertain themselves. This is an unrealistic want OP.
