About to leave relationship. I just want to know if my thoughts are correct.
I assume that most people will never change, and if they did, they would be resentful and bitter about it, so it would always be a risk. So instead of asking my SO to change, I'm just going to leave and start anew. This is the wisest choice of action, yes?
It depends on what you want to change. If you get upset at every minor thing that would take a very little work to change just to hop on someone new's dick in hopes they happen to perfect right from the start (and consequently never change) then you'll always be unsatisfied.
Also not telling them or asking them to try to change and simply leaving them after telling you that they love you; that's heartless. Did you ever really love them? Will this happen to the next person that shows the slightest signs of the same traits?
>>17092980
Some people change fundamentally, others not at all. Usually if it does happen it requires a catalyst. Ironically that usually takes the form of bring broken up with, and he won't want anything to do with things he attributes to his 'old' life after he does, like you.
>>17093000
I want them to stop drinking so much and be more considerate/kind/caring. I have mentioned it before but it's met with becoming mad so I assume it would be something that's not fixable.
I would just be alone anyway, that's more preferable.
I've thought about that too, and I don't really believe it, that I'm loved, or in any case, it's a pretty lazy and crappy way of showing it.
>>17093041
You know I was just in this exact situation. GF didn't think I appreciated her enough despite trying my hardest to pay attention to her through work, school, and timezone differences. She also didn't like how much I was drinking, though I only did that because I had a feeling she was upset with me and I needed a way to cope.
She ended up saying we needed a break and that she wanted to be alone, only to later tell me she had found a new guy already. Now I don't believe she ever loved me despite telling me she does and that some day she'd like to get back together. It was so cruel.
People change, but change is a long-term process. And it doesn't happen just because. If you think you need to change someone in order to be happy with them, then just leave, because it won't work.
>>17093270
>If you think you need to change someone in order to be happy with them, then just leave, because it won't work.
I like what you said, but on the other hand doesn't people usually say a relationship is usually about dealing with eachothers bullshit or something?
>>17093404
There's a difference between "There's this thing I don't like about my SO" and "About to leave the relationship, but can he/she change?"
