PUA term for something all women do to see if you've got the confidence that they desire in a man. Basically they say things that "betas" would find difficult to respond unaffectedly.
In the real world people just call it playful flirting that people use to gauge whether your qualities are aligned with their preferences. There is no universal code of conduct.
Protip: some women like easygoing "betas", some like flippant jocks. Most everyone likes a guy who doesn't take things personally and can quickly establish flow in conversation.
>>17088748
I'll give you one life example.
I went to house party with my then gf. She wanted to drink vodka (eastern europe bro) and I just wanted weed and beer. She said that she wants some weed and I said no - you cant mix vodka with weed or you will be helplessly drunk and puking all night. She insisted and I yelled at her that she will get no weed and the conversation is over.
Later at night after a good fuck I gave her she addmited that she only wanted to test how will I respond. She didnt want to smoke weed.
>>17089415
Sounds like an insufferable person to spend time around.
>>17089472
yea this is why she is my former gf.
I ended it when she was forcing me to propose and her way of doing this was talking me into going to dancing club where some beta was waiting for her and she danced with him all night, completly ignoring me... and her friend was telling me that I should propose or she will find someone else.
This was last night we spent as bf and gf
>>17089472
I second this.
>>17089487
Women are so fucking retarded lmao
more stories if you've got them
>>17088748
>What is shit testing?
There are no truly universal answers to the question of what women want, but "a guy who isn't going to turn psycho on me" is as close as it gets.
The problem is that to figure this out with100% reliably, you need to be able to foretell the future, and that just isn't possible. So women use heuristics to try to figure it out as best they can. No heuristic is perfect -they wouldn't be called heuristics if they were- but the common ones are generally agreed to work most of the time.
These heuristics are what PUAs call shit tests: attempts to figure out whether or not you're worth looking into, or just a piece of shit. Not all women use all of the common shit tests, but most use at least a subset of them, in varying combinations, and many employ some of their own devising.
The common of these is interesting, in that it started out as a simple social convention: the guy must make the first move. Only in recent years has it been adopted as a shit test (after a brief period where the social convention fell away) but it has rapidly become extremely popular. The reasoning is relatively simple: stable guys don't usually turn psycho, guys who are confident and comfortable around women are usually pretty stable, and guys who make the first move are usually confident and comfortable around women. As an added bonus, it's extremely efficient: people caught by this test filter themselves out, so you don't even have to deal with the overhead having to interact with them. This makes it trivially easy to implement, and it fits neatly into almost any set of heuristics. And so, a few short years after it became acceptable for a woman to make the first move, the convention snapped right back into place, just for different reasons. It's the most common shit test these days, but it is very easy to pass: all you have to do is ask her out.
>>17089526
Guys do that too, m8. You've probably never dated one, eh?
>>17089526
well if you insist
I train martial arts but I dont really enjoy fighting.
I was hanging out with her in local bar. I was after 3rd or 4th beer her former friend came in with her bloke bf. My gf and her her friend was once bff but at this time they were bitter enemies. This girl that came in with her bloke completly ignored us but my gf aproached them when I was out taking a piss started a fight which slowly escalated and the bloke was threatening me ready to fight.
I taked myself out of the fight but later my girl was giving me shit "why do you train this shitty wing chun if you never going to use it?"
Looking back I cant belive how blinded I was by her looks. Beware of beutifull girls as they are the craziest ones. Right now I prefer average looking ones as they actually need to make an effort to get a bf and they treat guys they are with with respect.
>>17088748
It's when you act like a faggot towards someone to see if they'll stand up to you.
Analogous to stomping on ice to see if it's safe to walk.
>>17089415
>she only wanted to test how will I respond
What the fuck is wrong with women?
>>17089586
Touche
Personally, I've always believed that either sex understands the other one better than they do themselves. Easier to see things from the outside looking in, and what not.
>>17089589
wow what a dumb cunt.
My problem with average looking girls is that they're actually harder to game tho. They're not used to banter and flirting, they disqualify themselves, they're colder from the get go, etc. I find it way less trouble to snag an 8 than a 6.
When i sense a shit test i aim to fail said test to the highest order.
Why would i want some manipulative self serving cunt who pulls this kinda bullshit in my life? I'd rather be alone than put up with that kinda bullshit.
>>17089647
how do you get an average girl then?
>>17089415
I would have failed that test but only that I didn't know weed and vodka doesn't apparently mix
Not sure what kind of gigantic puss you are but kay
>>17089614
Hypergamy
>>17089579
This... is oddly compelling to read, anon. I don't even think you're delving into sexism or stereotype by explaining it this way, and that's sort of ridiculously impressive to me. I mean, I still feel like there's something inherently flawed with the premise, perhaps simply the idea that we can generalize "male" and "female" in a cohesive enough way so as to apply a heuristic model, but fucking kudos for abstracting the behavioral model to this level.
>>17089579
>The reasoning is relatively simple: stable guys don't usually turn psycho, guys who are confident and comfortable around women are usually pretty stable, and guys who make the first move are usually confident and comfortable around women.
>As an added bonus, it's extremely efficient: people caught by this test filter themselves out, so you don't even have to deal with the overhead having to interact with them.
This sounds so eloquent, and so well put, and yet it simply crumbles the fuck apart when you turn it around and ask, "OK, so why don't women make the first move if they're interested?"
Seriously, I see a lot of this idea on this board in particular, "oh, well women have to face a lot of risks in mate selection, they have to weed out all the creeps and psychos". But with men it's somehow different? With men it's all, "better make a move now dickface or she's gone forever, no woman wants a pussy so man the fuck up and go get her already". I mean, it's almost as if men aren't constantly given good reasons to avoid women or not ask them out right away. It's almost like, men are also facing a risk when choosing a partner, but for some reason nobody seems to care about that. Who the fuck cares if a guy ends up with a manipulative psycho bitch who ruins his emotional and financial life, right?
This all said, you don't seem to be implying that this current "shit test" is exactly perfect or even close to it. So just to be clear, I'm not attacking you or your post - I'm attacking the shit test you just explained.
>>17090720
The underlying premise here is that men and women are framed within a different context of cultural capital: women exist as inherently more valuable, and as a temporal commodity to be obtained. The tension of this construction of femaleness centers around the contradiction of valuation when taking into account the simultaneous devaluation of agency that is presumed by treating women as objects. Thus, women are expected to accept their objectification at the cost of their agency in order to be rewarded with the security and affection of being taken care of (if not infantilized). However, this paradox is resolved by accepting the identity of "female" as strictly contextual and not as a permanent structure of identity, but only as an aspect of a multidimensional self.
>>17090743
Oh believe me, I'm well aware of how much more women are valued in society, on average. I just tend to disagree with it. I mean, I've always disagreed with it. I've had multiple guys tell me I need to man up and do all the work if I want to get laid, but as far as I figure the women can wait. When I say "wait", I mean wait for me to make a move. They. Can. Wait.
And if they can't? Well, I'm not going to rush myself into a relationship with a women I'm not sure about. Honestly, I think that underlying truth may be what bothers women more - realizing that not every guy is going to be into them, and pretending that a guy isn't fit for a relationship because he didn't make a move that he didn't even want to make, is straight up bullshit. Like, I can really get being a pussy and it's far more frustrating to lose a girl because you didn't make a move.
The problem is that men are not encouraged to explore their feelings and take it slow (hell, I don't think anyone is anymore). I mean, if I see a girl and think she's interesting, I'll go say hi and get to know her. Call me crazy but I like making friends and talking to people, without dealing with all the pressure society puts on men to exploit every single last romantic opportunity that presents itself. I refuse to be pressured into making a bunch of moves that she wants me to make, if I don't want to make them myself.
>>17090772
That's good. You're right, because what you're basically saying is that when you look at the "game" for long enough, you can't help but conclude that the only way to win is not to play in the first place.
Just because you see someone you're attracted to doesn't mean you have to "do" anything about it. Thinking that way is what leads to rape culture, honestly. Just treat it as what it is - an impulsive thought. You don't even know this person. They barely even exist to you. You're basically looking at a ghost.
>>17090801
>what you're basically saying is that when you look at the "game" for long enough, you can't help but conclude that the only way to win is not to play in the first place.
Yeah, that's pretty much it. A lot of guys seem to think success is fucking as many women as possible or whatever. To me it's always been about finding 'The One'. I actually did go through a period of not believing in The One either, but I've come to understand that it doesn't have to be about a literal soulmate. It can be about committing to finding a life partner, and going about dating that way. Best way for me has been to get to know girls first, and then kick it up as it's warranted.
>Just treat it as what it is - an impulsive thought. You don't even know this person. They barely even exist to you. You're basically looking at a ghost.
Yeah, that's basically it. Even if you've known them for years you don't know all of them. That can be a good or bad thing too, like part of the fun of a relationship can be exploring the mystery, but at the same time you gotta stay grounded and remember that this person won't always live up to your expectations 100%. Nothing wrong with finding a great person to be with, but what many people do is delude themselves and project what they want onto the people they just met, even if it's not there at all. I've been guilty of that far too often myself.
i didn't even know this was a thing
>>17090772
You realize that if you look really closely, you see that gender roles and stereotypes are not being forced on you by women. They are being forced on you by other men.
Women generally don't rag on each other for not playing the feminine role. Men certainly give each other shit for being a fag or a pussy or a beta. Men are the ones enforcing the very gender stereotypes that both feminists and lonely introverted men complain about.
>>17090986
To be fair, women are much harsher against each other when it comes to putting each other down, they are just more likely to be indirect about it or snide and making double-meaning comments and stuff like that.
>>17090986
Well, yes and no. Both genders have their own way of reinforcing the status quo by shaming each other. Ask a woman who doesn't wear make up who gives them more shit about it, and they're very likely to tell you that it's other women. This is why we need to move beyond the binary. These gender norms aren't "natural," they're very literally socially constructed and reinforced by other members of the "group."
>>17090986
Nah women have punished me for it in the past. I've straight up been given the "I want a real man" line by a girl I was dating in the past. And I've had others basically humiliate and berate me over my weaknesses or lack of success. Really though, women don't have to come out and say it. I know what some women desire in men and I know how they are about men who don't live up to the standard. My goal is to find one that loves me for who I am at my best but understands that I won't be at 100% all the time.
>>17090986
Everyone enforces gender roles and stereotypes to some extent. Some people more than others. A lot of them exist because they have a biological root. Its not all in our heads.
Subtle way of testing whether you're masculine enough. Can be really sneaky and underhanded. The girl is rarely aware of what she's actually doing or what her intentions are, desu we have a hard time admitting to ourselves that we shit test in the first place. Sometimes it's impossible to avoid though, as you and the guy come across a situation where you're forced to judge his actions. Basically it's important to keep in mind that while we act one way, under the surface we are much more critical of your actions than you may realize.
>>17092356
That makes sense, but do you ever stop and think "wow, I'm being unreasonable in my standards for this guy?"
Obviously men hold women to standards too, we all do it. I judge a woman's relationship worthiness to me too. We want a partner we can feel comfortable around, and grow and build trust with (at least, that's what I want). I need somebody who is fully interested in long term commitment.
The funny thing is, femininity never comes up on my radar. I know what a woman looks like. I'm not concerned that she isn't woman enough for me, I'm concerned with how compatible we are.
Any woman can put on makeup or wear nice, cute, feminine clothing. Any woman who's attracted to me can share physical intimacy with me. I'm not worried about her ability to be a female. I am going to assess her as an individual, and look at her ability to function in the world, as well as as a relationship partner.
I wonder, what is it exactly are looking for when they seek "masculinity". I'm guessing it has something to do with his ability to protect and provide, but I don't know for sure.
>>17090986
as a long time lonely introverted guy, sorry, but there is no preasure from men.
in regards to my parents, my mother always told me to meet girls be more outgoing, and talk to people. although my father is based on my mothers word more worrysome about becoming granddad, but he never told me, what I should do and how I should do it, he never bothered me with it. Only if I come to him, ask questions and talk about my experiences, he shares his knowledge, otherwise I can make my own experiences.
And also from my big brother or from other good friends, nobody told me, what I should do, how I shoiuld approach a girl and if they do its never making them bitter, if I dont follow their advice.
>>17089589
>shitty wing chun
Well, she was right about one thing
>>17089415
>you cant mix vodka with weed or you will be helplessly drunk and puking all night.
As a guy from Poland I beg to fucking differ.
Either you smoke shit or can't properly drink vodka.
>>17088748
Shit testing is when my damn boyfriend asks me, out of the blue mind you, if I think my ex was hot (I had bumped into him recently, and told my bf in passing). I answer honestly, like a stupid bitch 'Yeah, he was cute when we was together, but now he don't look too good'. My bf gets silent, goes 'Do you think he's cuter than me?'
My face in that moment must have been just like >wtf. We spend almost a half hour with me telling my bf he the prettiest prince in all the land, and his dick is huge. This shit though, anons. Why bitches gotta be like this
>>17090801
>rape culture
fuck off
>>17092766
Reminds me of this. I do this to my husband when he gets a sad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6439wcfAL-E
>>17089415
>Later at night after a good fuck I gave her she addmited that she only wanted to test how will I respond. She didnt want to smoke weed.
Stuff like this is often a shit test, but this was not a shit test, dude. This was your GF retroactively justifying her childish behavior in order to feel like she has control, if it was a shit test she wouldn't have said anything after it because you'd have passed it.
>>17092766
kek what a bitch
drop that cunt
