We're both 24, met ar work, develop an infatuation. She tells me she really likes me but she wants to stay with her boyfriend shes only been with for two months. What do i do in this situation is she just using me as an emotional pillow? Is this a huge red flag and i should abort? I mean shes all over me all the time touching me and bitting me and playing around but wtf.
>>17087790
She would do the same thing to as she is doing to him. Move on.
Uhh, yeah that's a red flag. If the position were reversed, and you were going out with her, wouldn't you feel a bit worried about your current situation? She doesn't seem trustworthy in the slightest. She actually seems like a horrible person
The thing is we agreed to not follow it further so that we dont hurt the other guy or anybody else, i dont want to fuck around and be all sneaky and shit either. I get that happyness shkukdnt come at thr expense of other but its not like they are super serious, it seems she jumped into something then i come a long and now shes scared
>>17087790
This is one of those situations people think they want to be in until they're actually in it. Pic is actually related - sensual touch and physical affection can override your brain circuits like a goddamn spell, and you are smart to be questioning the intention and complications.
Ask her, point blank: what would your boyfriend think if he saw what you were doing right now? How would he feel?
Then, watch her response. If she feels guilty doing it, then what you are doing by participating is encouraging that which hurts another person, and you need to set some boundaries. Also, asking this question is letting her know that she's not allowed to just meme you as a source of validation - not that she doesn't deserve validation, but that the way she is seeking it from you is reductive and imprecise.
It will seem like you might be shaming her, so be careful to ask out of genuine curiosity, and not as if you already know the answer. Because if she and her bf really and honestly have the kind of relationship where they allow each other to fool around with other people, then it's really just up to you to negotiate where the boundaries are and abide by them as you're comfortable.
Logic your way through the witchcraft, anon!
>>17087835
Wow this is super coherent, it does feel like a spell even if i know its just chemistry and infatuations are just evolutionary process to procreate. Ive just never had it happen to me, its fucking aweful really like we share a genuine connecrion but shes scared to leave her comfort fukboi. Ive been civil as to not compromise myself but its getting harder everyday. And she texts me all night even while at her boyfriends so it is very difficult.
>>17087868
Then it sounds like your connection is more than physical. That's a hard place to be. The hardest thing to do is the right thing to do: trust her enough to make the right decision. There's a logical process to follow - if you encourage her to leave him, then she'll feel like she lost something, and regret is more likely, as well as questioning herself. Plus, pressing for an ultimatum might make it seem like you're forcing her to define your relationship in a way she's not comfortable with. All you can do is wait for her, and enjoy the time you spend together, and, impossible as it may seem, not think so much in terms of what you might call what you have, but keep focused on the connections you make with her.
>>17088052
Hawh man, i didnt ask for this i just thought i had made a pretty good friend and then it just sort of developed. Its hard to just wait and see what happens because I feel bad everytime we go out to eat or do something then i know shes going to this niggas house at the end of the night. It feels like i can give her emotional and mental stimulation then goes to him for the security or just so she doesnt feel bad. I dont think there is a right or wrong in this situation.
