I enjoy leading on fat chicks and then ghosting them. It's shitty but it's fun.
man you are terrible at painting.
I would literally have to be hitler with my finger on the button of the gas chamber and be shooting a gay person with the other to be as bad as you try painting me.
everything that happened, happened for good reasons. the fact that you're in an echo chamber and are completely content with not even entertaining any other way of seeing things because it would mean admitting that you were wrong, is not my fault.
Have contact with multiple girls yet i keep thinking about that one person who wont even reply to my messages, i want her more then anything but what's the point if she cannot even show basic respect towards me?
I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself.
Life is good.
But I need to think more long term for retirement and school and all that.
>>17080478
other hand to be*
Being a virgin at my age makes me feel like less of a person and is one of the top reasons I still have suicidal thoughts.
Yes it's stupid but I can't help it
I wish I was as socialable/outgoing as some of the people I work with.
>But I need to think more long term for retirement and school and all that.
School is good to think about, but fuck retirement, that's way to far ahead and it's pointless to worry about. Smith and Wesson retirement plan if you have to. Fuck being old.
I feel so disconnected and hollow. I can not relate to anyone my age at all. I don't know how to connect and reach out to others, yet I hurt. Everyday I feel less human, and more like some unwanted outcast. If I died of natural causes soon, I would be thankful, though I refuse to kill myself because I would lose what little dignity I have left.
Pic semi related. I kind of identify with the protagonists of the Souls series, as dumb and edgy as that sounds.
>>17080494
Wait are you me?
>>17080458
I mean that's better than leading Down Syndrome Faced boys on and when they're worried they've put themselves out there. Haha ..whatever that means those poor handicapped mental retards. Sorry I peed myself for a sec...What were we talking about?
I have no idea how to talk to people my age other than acting like a jackass, because I know that people will abuse the ever living shit out of me and use me up if I let them in, but at the same time I really fucking wish I could just be close to people, but for the fucking life of me I can't allow that vulnerability, to let people care about me. I hate the idea of people worrying about me and caring, but at the same time I want to just hold someone precious to me close so I can let all this bullshit out of me instead of shoving it farther down a hole to implode and fuck myself more. It never ends, and each time I get close to all these people I just cut all the cords again and destroy myself. I can't help but wonder why I even try anymore when I'm such a shitty human being.
I wish there was something I could do to help you. I care for you so much, and I can see that you're hurting really badly, but I feel so powerless to help.
I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to mock you. I'm not going to talk shit behind your back or reveal your secrets to anyone. I'm not going to push you to do anything you don't want to do. I know you think that talking doesn't work for you, but what's your alternative? Just ignore it until it goes away?
>>17080584
Fat Bastard is that you?
>>17080494
If you're J, then good. You should hate yourself.
Also, OP should hate himself.
>>17080588
Nah, I'm not who you're thinking I am, sorry if you mixed me up with someone, haha.
>>17080593
OP doesn't. He's happy.
>>17080593
Found the fat chick.
>>17080586
Well, yeah. Some people realize eventually that they're toxic and then make attempt to remove themselves to minimize the damage.
>>17080593
Actually I am a J, and you're right. What the fuck am I doing existing. All I do is remind others what a loser is like.
>>17080629
Is your last initial k?
>>17080643
Nope. We Js certainly are bountiful in our shittiness.
>>17080647
I second that.
>>17080613
I'm not fat, but I now realize that I deserve this because I do call people fat. I do. And I consider myself superior to them. For this I'm ashamed so I defend these losers on 4chan.
>>17080458
Ayyy OP, the fat chicks in this board are going to give you a lot of shit. Not that it matters though, fay chicks aren't people.
>>17080675
You ARE superior to fat people. Just sayin'
>>17080586
If the woman I'm crazy about ever said anything like this to me, talking would work for me.
Even though it doesn't right now. If it was her, it would.
You are making me feel worse. I only knew you for four days and everything seemed to be going good until you started to ignore me. It's not only you that did this though. Everyone I used to love talking to just stoped. I feel they are annoyed by me. Everyone. Even my closest friends left me. I feel like shit. What did I do to deserve this. my current friends now all make fun of me anyway cause I'm a little fat. Why can't I just be happy that someone wants to listen to me. You gave me hope but I lost it. Now I know there is some thing wrong with me. Thank you for opening my eyes. I should just end it. No one would miss me.
>>17080647
True statement
>>17080733
Would the person you are talking about be on 4chan?
>>17080733
I have a similar situation, anon. Don't give up hope, please. Even if we're all anons, everyone's individuality goes through all who type on these threads. I will miss you. Anon will miss you.
>>17080458
Get a fucking life
>>17080813
fatty detected
>>17080813
LOL. How fat are you?
>>17080458
What is ghosting mean?
>>17080837
Cutting all contact and dissappearing from that persons life
>>17080837
Ignoring someone's attempts to communicate with you.
>>17080618
That's just the thing, she's not toxic. She has her demons, but she hasn't done anything wrong. The only person she's hurting is herself, and it kills me to see her do that to herself.
Hahahahahahahahahaahahahahaha I never would have thought of that Hahahahahahahahaha good one bro
I met this person no more than a week ago and I fell for them, and hard. I felt something. But now that he will barely talk to me, I'm really doubting anything will come of it. We didn't even know each other in person. The fuck was I thinking? It was just some shit to get me to send pics. I probably will never know. It's not worth waiting around for, I'm going to tell myself until I can get over it. I really thought I felt something strong, but maybe relationships is a flame I should never touch as I just extinguish them like nothing.
>>17080909
Jesus Christ, how desperate are you?
>>17080458
trust me, they're so used to it, it barely even registers
>>17080909
Did his name start with a J?
>>17080915
I'm a sad, sad bastard with no life. What do you think dude? haha.
>>17080924
Nope, sorry.
>>17080924
LOL, you just can't get over J, can you?
>>17080928
I think you're much more. Have some self respect, damn it.
>>17080935
What the hell?
>>17080924
J? Is that you?
>>17080938
Haha. I appreciate the unique form of how you show you care, anon. Thanks.
I'll try my best, damn it. Also not be such a desperate son of a bitch, haha.
>>17080944
Yep, that's it. You caught me.
>>17080950
'Attaboy
I guess it's a good thing that I'm getting less afraid of failure and rejection, I just wish I'd stop being rejected. Anyone interested in me is always borderline insanity, and anyone I'm interested in wants to be "just friends". I have enough friends, thanks.
>>17080494
Me too.
>that one is garbage
WHATTTTTT HOW DARE YOU LADY!
HAN FUCKING SOLO AND CHEWY FUCK YES.
FINALLY fucking able to watch this. no one gives a shit cause I'm late to the party so I'm posting excitement here.
I shouldn't be getting so pissed off that I'm losing at a dumb phone game, but I am. The fact that I'm on a ~20 - 0 losing streak against my friend has got me so salty. Especially since it's a word scramble game, I'm an English major and have a massive vocabulary so theoretically I should be amazing at it. Maybe my brain just isn't wired to work with abstractions like this? Hell if I know. Fuck, I'm pissed. It's not even fun anymore.
I kill niggers for fun
>>17080490
only natural to want the one you cant have, try not to dwell on it anon, hang out with the ones that actually treat you like a person
Ugh i have jury duty Thursday morning and wish i could just skip it
Why not ?
>>17081194
I've played that game man. Having a big vocabulary doesn't help you for shit. That game is all about swiping your finger over everything that could possibly be a word, as many times as possible in the time that the game gives you.
If your friend has been playing it for longer, he's probably figured out the pattern. Don't feel bad about losing, it doesn't mean you're stupid.
Also if it's not fun anymore then don't play it, I shouldn't have to tell you that.
>>17081205
BECAUSE THERE ARE FUCKING X-WINGS HOW ARE YOU NOT HAPPY?!
I never talk about my dreams because I don't find them significant in a supernatural or deeper psychological way, and I think the content would freak people out. They've always been unpleasant, but lately they've turned stressful and fuck me up for a few hours after starting my day.
Last night in a dream I was with a group of people I didn't know, but I could tell in my dream they were my friends. We were having a good time hanging out, but I could tell something was hanging over everyone's head, like it was something grim related to me and no one wanted to say anything. At first it didn't bother me, but soon we ran out of things to talk about and everyone became quiet.
I finally asked what was going on. One of them looked at me and said, "Anon, we're just a part of your dream. When you wake up, we're going to disappear forever." I was freaking out, thinking about ways to keep them around somehow, and they begged me not to wake up. I kept telling them I was sorry, I was trying to think of something, and please don't be mad at me. This went on for a while until I woke up to my alarm.
I've been having extremely vivid dreams like this for weeks now, living entirely different lives, or reliving memories with details changed. When I wake up I have to remember that certain things aren't real and never happened. I feel like I'm going insane.
>>17080583
kek
My attempts to find someone in life have been met with dead ends. I've achieved a state of nearly complete indifference and have completely stopped trying.
I probably haven't searched enough, but being denied a chance wit multiple people who showed interest in me has destroyed my motivation.
I feel like I'm too involved with you. We're not going out, yet I feel jealousy and paranoid about you dating someone else or just sleeping with them. You'll never know about me feeling that way though because I don't want us to be awkward. But I'm better than that, so I need to take a step back and focus on myself for a bit. Especially if you're not looking for a relationship at this time.
>>17081477
initials though
man there's some bullshit in here aimed at me.
hi, nice projector you've got there. works of fiction coming out of it and you know it. real sloppy and ineffective, don't know why you're still trying it.
I don't know how far you're gonna try taking this because you're clearly obsessed, but just know if you get violent I will have zero regrets for anything that happens.
stop hanging around my door btw. you've never been scary and I know you know that. surprised you every time you tried. don't play this game, we're not even on the same field.
>>17081409
I've been like this my whole life. I've had dreams that WERE real. But In the past five years I've realized that I dream of cities. The city lasts about two years and may recur. I could draw a map of these places.
I still eat my boogers from time to time when I know nobody is looking.
I know its disgusting and I should stop, but whatever.
>>17081578
Let me guess- you fucked some bitch over and she didn't like it? And that's her issue not yours and she a stalker because you were stupid enough to take s bitch to your apartment and treat her like shit? I don't know how old you are but you need to know that you play people like that, you're gonna hAve some bitches not like it. And she know where you live.
>>17081594
I already know this about you. I've seen you do it.
>>17081600
NOOOOO
>>17081578
Don't tempt me. I'm suicidal so being killed by a crazy ass fuckboy would be peachy. I die a hero because I got another little ho off the streets.
Just stay away.
I want to have sex with you before I go home, because that's how I'd like to remember you. I'm going to tease you until you tell me what you want, because nothing gets me hotter than watching you squirm underneath me. I hope I get to find another boy as submissive and repressed as you, because you're a fun lay.
And honestly, you should break up with your girlfriend before graduation for a number of reasons. You made a mistake, thinking a wide-eyed freshman was actually going to give you a casual relationship. I hope you don't actually hurt them when you realize that.
I'm worried I might have ADD, and it bothers me that no one believes me.
They don't understand how little I get done and how much all of this bothers me. I'm not messy because I don't care, I just can't get my shit in order.
People just think having ADD means you're an idiot, and I clearly don't have any learning disabilities so I can't have ADD. I can't even keep focus when watching a 30 minute TV episode though.
Gonna see a psychologist soon though.
I thought I loved you but I think I'm developing anti social personality disorder. I don't know the proper phrasing for it.
I think I was made to be alone because with another human is insecurity, disgust, anxiety, and other unidentified feelings. People do not care for other people. I used to care so much but nowadays, I feel hollowed out yet still so heavy.
I guess, I'm getting drunk again.
-L
>>17081598
I didn't fuck anyone over. I sure got taken for a ride and so did my bank account though. and it is her issue because i divested myself of it. it was a toxic situation where I was lied to, disregarded, and she would throw tantrums over basic adult shit or having to contribute anything to the relationship.
I didn't play anyone, and you can get fucked with the tone you're bringing to me.
but no, thats not to her.
God. It's too much. I'm to stressed.
I listened to an audio clip of my own voice and now I feel like shit. I sound like a 15 year old boy even though I'm a 27 year old girl...
>>17081614
Hey dude, it's gonna be okay. Don't drink tonight unless you think you just need to puke your feelings out.
It's hard to be vulnerable and trust, but don't be self-defeating.
>>17081615
Uh... Sorry but I was projecting again. You're not the dude I'm thinking of
>>17081621
very few people give a shit as long as you're a cool person to be around
>>17081610
>I die a hero
in what world would you die a hero?
also I keep telling you and yours to stay away and no one's listening. I've got people hanging around my door in the middle of the night and slashing my tires and shit and you want me to stay away? need to stop doing whatever drugs you're doing.
you had a problem with recognizing who was being an asshole before but you're getting a little extreme and this is my warning to you not to play this game because we aren't even on the same field.
>>17081622
I appreciate the reply, but I give up.
I don't like college, I don't have the same social standards as everyone else, and I'm scared and everyone hates me and I sabotage every connection I make because I don't know I'm doing and I wanna go home, but I don't have a home anymore because my parents divorced and my dad is openly suicidal and my mom makes me feel bad about everything.
I'm a social hypocrite and I emotionally hurt other people because of it and I would hate me if I knew me.
>>17081648
Last initial of your name?
My friend pisses me off sometimes because she types bullshit like "me" instead of "my", "dorter" instead of "daughter", "smol" instead of "small", etc. Fucking stop it with this Tumblr speak bullshit, you sound like a retarded toddler.
i wish i could end it all, but something keeps me from doing it every time but i wish i knew what it was
Girl confessed she liked me. I had the strongest crush on her for months, after she turned me down I was a wreck, now I don't know how to feel and I worry I'm not ready.
>>17080458
I know I need to go to sleep but I can't until op responds to my post is this purgatory
>>17081673
L and then D?
What kind of name is that
I wish initial-anon would stop being a pathetic faggot and go talk to who they are 4 chan stalking.
We get it youre a mentally ill piece of shit who thinks their long lost love still cares about them
They dont
They are out fucking someone else
>>17081675
I misread your question. It would actually be Y. But you aren't some one who knows me I think.
>>17081686
Well do you go on chan often
>>17081681
lol okay as if it's just one 'anon'. a lot of people do this you imbecile
if she only knew I've been fucking someone too ;) this whole time. much better sex too tbqh
>>17080618
People are NOT TOXIC. That's not a real thing. That's make-believe shit. That's a Narcissist's Code for: "I don't understand. I don't do this. Is this what you're supposed to do?" Yes, even that bit of introspection will be difficult but at least own up. TOXIC PERSON = PERSON I DO NOT LIKE.
>>17081693
Die.
>>17081681
He thinks there's one lmao.
I do it because I know my person is on here. See them a lot in these threads.
>>17081699
Be deader.
>>17081706
I will. Just need a gun.
>>17081691
Everyday for a number of years now.
>>17081699
lol y
>>17081713
y not
I once refused to walk into a coffee shop because I could see the self-mutilation scars on the barista's legs.
I think about you all the time. I can't stop. For years. Being away from you for too long feels like torture. I need you. We've had space. Can we get together now? I'm just dreaming of how happy we are, and I know we could make it work. I'm sorry for fucking up. You said you loved me, then cut me out. I didn't understand. Your love means more to me than anything else in the world. When I told you how I felt a while ago, nothing changed. I feel the same. When you came to me, I was overjoyed, like every wish was true. You're all I want. I give you all of me. Please don't hurt me. It wasn't a joke, it's real. My foolish heart is overflowing with you
I really want to have sex with him, like I can't wait! And it's been such a long time. I don't want him to think it's all I want, yet before, I was worried in case it was all he wanted, and then he thought I wasn't interested. Now I don't know if he's still interested. I guess I'll have to wait and see how he responds. Even if he had problems in that area, it's fine, I just want to know if he's still interested in me as more than a friend. It's difficult because I don't usually fall for friends romantically. Actually, I've never dated friends. We did start dating though, so I guess that's why we're not really friends
Wow!
I never tell anyone how I feel. About anything. Unless I really, really, really feel like I need to tell someone or they somehow pry it out of me. I just have such an incredible guilt complex. Whenever anything happens in my life, whether it's good or bad, I want someone to hear me out. I want attention. I'm desperate. At the same time, I bog people down with nonsense that way, and people already have enough in their lives to deal with. So I'm caught between two choices. Say I am going through some awful things and I would need a friend to hear me out and give me reassurance. If I reach out to someone or try to reach out to someone, they could very well be going through stuff themselves and I'd rather not bother them-- rather, I'd want to help them. Yet if I don't reach out to aynone, I end up having to deal with my own feelings myself without any reassurance. In a way... mayube this is the true ideal way. After all, the problems I go through are mine and mine alone, so naturally, I should be alone in trying to deal with them, right?
I don't know. I often wonder what it means to be a good friend and to even be a good person. And I always downplay or trivialize my problems to the point that even if I got stabbed I'd probably try to pass it off as no big deal so no one would worry about me, even though I'd want people to worry about me, then I'd get guilty of people worrying about me..... argh.
I'm in my mid-thirties and I've only fallen in love once
Terrifying
Now I'm like a naive person who has no idea how to have a real relationship
Careful steps onwards
I'm having an anxiety attack and desperately want to die
I used to tell people about myself, sometimes about my problems
Eventually I felt no one really cared. I wanted them too, but felt bad about it and worried they thought I wanted their attention, yet when I withdraw, and am naturally quite shy, everyone thinks something's wrong when I've been fast and talkative, there are more aspects to me than the brighter side of my personality. It annoys me when they won't just leave me alone if I want some peace and quiet, I hardly talk about everything now yet I can't pretend everything is always wonderful, that's annoying too. Anything but monotone and boring to those around me, maybe we all have those days
I'm lonely
>>17081621
I feel the same way. I have some traits that I like, but voice isn't one of them. *sad horn*
I'm in love
I am so bad about sleeping at a reasonable hour
>>17081896
Slow down, gentle reader.
Why do you think you're so terrible?
>>17081899
I have a small willy
>>17081693
Lmao you sound exactly like my ex and I wouldn't even be surprised if you were him.
I regret talking to you
I'm probably nothing to you
Although I hope otherwise
I want to listen to you
I want to be there for you
If you need me
Thank you for our
Time together so far
I love you
Hey, I was wondering if you still wanted to go out for that coffee?
It's been awhile.....
Wear your beautiful smile
And I'll gaze into your eyes again
>>17081414
loser males get triggered far more often than females
a fat chick might be disappointed but she'll move on and she'll find someone who won't do that
what does your average /r9k/ loser have for recourse? crying on 4chan and mgtow
lmao no stacy for you, not yours
I miss you so much L,
It'll be three months soon since you left and I'm just as heartbroken as the day you told me 'I don't love you anymore'.
I wish you would contact me. I wish we could be together one last time.
>>17081979
not only that but females can make bank leading guys on. easy to get some poor beta orbiter to give you stuff, without even asking for it. at least a girl doesn't lose much but her time when she gets lead on.
You're very special, D
This is why
I'm giving us time
And see you later I hope
>>17081912
I regret ever meeting you.
I seriously can't stop lusting over him
It's driving me crazy
I'm losing fucking hope.
>>17080458
I can't concentrate on anything other than video games because of a constant feeling of mild depression.
>>17082082
Fresh air, exercise, good diet, good physical/love life
Then..medication if need be
Not forever probably
I ain't to proud to beg. I'm just bad at it. I'm one of those people who don't really ask others for shit. I want you badly. I need you. I need your touch and to be able to see you're face. It really is torture.
>>17081849
How do you feel?
>can't sleep
>soul crushingly lonely
>scared of telling people what's really going on with me
>have no drive to partake in any of my hobbies
>keep having the repeating urge to have intimate sex with a cute boy
get a feeling so complicated
>>17082115
Initials?
I do the same thing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUNvTA5KVxk
General advice welcome, but I guess I also just need to vent a bit.
It's been almost 2 months since me and my GF broke up, we almost had one year. Thing is: 2 february she went on an exchange semester to Taiwan. Since then I already had my ticket booked, and am obviously going there on my own now.
Things have been going pretty okay for me the last couple of weeks: I've been going to the gym more, people say that I look much nicer and generally more 'alive' and I also feel that way. Yet, there are sometimes these breakdowns (days where my night sleep wasn't that good, or days where I have little stuff to do) and I just cry because I miss her a lot. Sometimes I write my stuff down in a document in Word if I'd say that to her. At the moment, I'm not in the best state either.
And here's the thing: even though I already said that it might not be a good idea for me to see her in Taiwan, I do feel like I still have stuff to say, and perhaps she has too. However, I'll decide that for myself once I'm there.
Sometimes I just feel like sending a big text saying how I miss her and to know if she misses me too, to say I'm sorry because of our fights, and what else not. However, what is the use.. I think. She's there enjoying her Exchange, I'm here doing my stuff. What use would it be to send the text, probably nothing.
It's so hard to not fill in and think about what she might be doing.
I've been lowkey depressed since forever (I got plenty of reasons, trust me), but you wouldn't be able to tell at all 'cause I seem to do a lot of things all the time, and I always joke a lot and laugh and I'm always up for a party and never complain, or almost never - I complain sometimes to one friend who's clinically depressed and I kinda identify with things she says so I also open up to her.
Yesterday I had some kind of "episode" at a friend's place, I have no idea what triggered it or what that was. Felt like crying, fast heartbeat, chest hurting, breathing fast, that kinda stuff. I sat on the balcony's barrier while smoking thinking about possible suicide, but just thinking - I wouldn't do such a thing consciously because I know my mom would cry herself to death. Unfortunately a friend saw it (I thought she's busy with the other friend, or even asleep already since it was very late - I mean I was dozing off earlier and they didn't check up on me or anything, thought they think I'm okay just sleepy) and scolded me though, I just laughed that my mom told me to not sit on the barrier when I was a kid as well and didn't say anything, but shit, I feel ashamed and guilty that she saw that and what she might've though to herself about me. Now I don't want to see her face ever again, or rather I don't want her to see my face ever again.
>>17082084
I do exercise occasionally and my diet is really good but my love life is shit. I've been told I'm very ugly so there's not much I can do about that one.
10 years. 10 years almost completely devoid of romantic relationships, with only 2 short-lived attempts (each lasting no more than 4 months), one of which wasn't even physical. 10 years of being alone. Of course I'm crippled on the inside. It's one of the basic human needs and functions, for fuck's sake. Yet it seems as something I cannot attain. Ten fucking years of constants rejection, of constant 'let's stay friends', 'I don't love you', and even 'I didn't love you at all'.
This last half a year I've been crying every day.
>>17082167
I'm sorry, Anon.
>>17082151
To or from?
I'm going to escape from my situation, and I'll move on from you in some way. I'll learn from my mistake, but I'll stop wishing. Take care.
>>17082172
From
I hate that I'm unhappy with my life. I have more or less everything I could wish for but my migraines are crippling and have been getting worse and more frequent. And the daily headaches just suck the life out of me.
I'm afraid to drive a car or even live alone for fear of having an attack and fucking something up, having an accident, falling down the stairs and breaking my neck.
On bad days I feel like killing myself and I'm afraid it will never get better and I'll just be in pain all my life.
I will never fight this much for anyone else for as long as i live. I'm going to get over you eventually. Over everything, our friendship, my feelings for you. All of it. You're gonna become a memory. I can feel it. And I really don't want that to happen. I'm fighting to fix things because you made me so fucking happy. Really happy. I wanna keep having funny conversations and doing dumb stuff and meeting up just to listen to music and stuff. I fucked up badly didn't I? You hurt me and I hurt you way worse. I don't know what to do to make up for it. But I will do anything. Our friendship was something neither of us will ever get with anyone else again. My heart tells me to keep fighting. But I can't unless you open up to me a bit more. The last thing you said to me was 'if you send me another message I'm going to block you'. What do I do now huh?
Let's get drunk and make a food baby tomorrow.
>>17082171
Thank you, kind anon. No-one should go through such things. Everything is so complicated when you have no experience and get no support on top of that. I try to convince myself that I can still do helpful things to others and create something, but somehow there's this pressing need in me to be in a meaningful relationship that makes everything else seem vain in comparison. I've always been serious in all my attempts at advances, I've never tried to begin a relationship "just to fill the void". But I never seem to be able to do it right. Guess Fate has other plans for me, heh...
>>17082191
initials to?
>>17082223
My goddess M
>>17082218
You do realize this site is full of people who never even had a short lived experience of a relationship? I understand how you feel, although I've never been in a relationship at all, save for an "online lelationship" which was a terrible experience anyways. And considering that in a way I'm physically crippled, I probably won't be in one, ever, 'cause women don't like broken things.
>>17081979
>>17081991
F A T
A
T
>>17081816
Initials?
>>17082185
Can I escape with you?
>>17081697
false.
say my personality is a house, and making friends means inviting people over to my house. now, say some of my personality flaws are spiders. big stonking venemous spiders that bite and hurt people whenever they come to my house. most people try to stomp these spiders, because they care about thwir houseguests. they especially stomp the biggest, nastiest, most poisonous of these spiders because they especially don't want to hurt anyone to an extreme degree.
but some people are blind to their spiders, or, even worse, are the type of faggots to catch the spiders and release them outside, giving the illusion of having gotten rid of the harmful personality flaw. but that spider gets back in, and bites the friends.
worse yet, when this person visits other peoples' houses, the toxic spiders follow and lay eggs in that other house and shit.
that is a toxic person. that is somebody ruining your house because they can't let crap go, improve, or address their own flaws.
>>17082227
Yeah, I know. But I also wonder: "hey, apparently there's nothing wrong with me, YET I still ultimately fail". Of course, you have it harder. But having had the experience of how it could be... it eats on me. As in, I KNOW what I've lost.
Sorry.
>>17081799
that's just body modding
or she rides dirtbikes
>>17082245
No, I wish to be alone
>>17081849
you have a control issue and you need to fucking stop. recognize that people deserve their peraonhood and that you can't force everyone to be happy and comfortable 24/7. the entire range of human emotion is a gift; don't devalue any single one fucking aspect just because you think you're in control of how other people feel.
>>17082248
To be honest I managed to get the physical intimacy with women, a lot of it actually, and I don't even miss it. I just wish I had a person to be emotionally intimate with but yeah. Can't hide that I'm not a 100% man when getting intimate in any way, and unfortunately I can just be an interesting experiment, not a partner material. Unless it's a fucked up girl on the internet, but there are other problems with that... Still I get that thing about knowing what you've lost since I had that "teaser" of emotional intimacy because of an online gf.
>>17082255
I understand.
>>17082185
start with that therapist, and take an honest inventory of your mistakes. stare yourself down bravely; the world is not out to get you.
serious about that professiinal help, tho.
>>17081849
Damn dude I feel ya.
>feel sad and don't act as pumped and funny as always with friends
>they realize something is wrong and ask you about it
>you brush it off and just say you don't feel too good today and need to go home or something
>feel guilty and ashamed
>unable to sleep at night
>>17082264
I'm sorry
>>17081212
I will, thanks.
>>17082216
if they didnt want msgs they would have blocked you already. you are being led on. next msg you send, tell them not to bother with threats and to just be honest if they even give a shit about you anymore.
more than likely they are a narc and a coward and just don't want to be 'the mean one'. have respect for yourself.
One of my friends clearly wants to fuck me, and it's awkward, but I'm so desperate for companionship that I ignore it as best I can. I don't have many friends.
I get physically violent with cats when their owners aren't around. I was rooming with one chick who had a cat: I would grab it by the scruff of its neck, suffocate it, temporarily blind it with a sock and watch it stumble about, and keep it locked in it's travel bag for hours on end. And if that weren't enough I would torment it more in response to it's cries, I got it drunk on whiskey once, and one time when my buddies and I covered it in peanut butter. (we wanted to see if it would try to lick it all off, only to have it's jaw become stuck)
No one ever found out. I feel pretty badly about resorting to such frivolous torcher, and I still can't quite put my finger on what drove me to do it.
>>17082290
Kill yourself. Seriously, do it.
>>17082290
You need to talk to a professional about that, cruelty to animals is not good.
>>17082290
Hope someone grabs, blinds and suffocates you while you can't do anything else than crying because they're much stronger than you.
People who hurt animals are trash with no empathy.
I've been thinking to myself that my girlfriends been lying to me when in actuality she has been being honest. I kind of feel like shit now but at least my mind can be at ease.
I'm having really weird thoughts today. Yesterday, my forty-nine-minute-older brother was really surprised when I told him that I didn't think he was smarter than me (or not by a significant amount), and it was really obvious that he thought the idea that we're just as intelligent as each other was a ridiculous supposition.
I know it's fucking silly, but I have really low self-esteem and a lot of self-confidence, and I have all these goals and things I want to accomplish and things I want to prove about myself (to myself), and I just hate this idea that (1) it matters what my intelligence is relative to other people and (2) my slightly older brother is just waaaay better than me.
And I mean, that's honestly part of my problem is that it kind of seems like he is. He doesn't have any learning disorders, or Asperger Syndrome or Nonverbal Learning Disorder (which I have -- it's basically AS but less severe), and he's way less mentally ill than I am and way better with people and even somewhat more attractive. And taller. And people just like him more.
I hate it, because he's normally this really supportive brother who can understand a lot of what I talk about (the stuff the one-minute-younger brother doesn't get, the forty-nine-minute older one will), and now I'm starting to resent the fuck out of him because he acts like such a dick sometimes and manages to be everything I want to be but am not.
There are all these people who love me and think I'm just the bee's knees and that I'm going to totally go somewhere in life. Why can't I just listen to them and not people like brother #1?
Bah.
>>17082298
I have. My therapist said I needed to get in touch with what drove me to do it in the first place.
I think it might be a lack of empathy as >>17082300 stated. That being said I get along great with dogs and other animals, not to mention my family and friends.
Just to preface this next diatribe, I never could bring myself to reveal any of the following to my therapist.
Believe it or not there was a point before the abuse where I actually really enjoyed the cats company. I would pet it, cuddle with it, and sometimes it would choose to sleep in my room. But at times our petting sessions would get very physically intensive. Once I found out how to get the cat going I would continue to stroke it in just the right way, with the intent of hearing it purr and stretch with satisfaction.
Now at some point in this petting process I would actually get physically aroused; I'm not nor have I ever been into beastiality, nor am I a furry. At this point I would just let the cat go and wait until the sensation subsided. The nature of these arousing feelings also has me so confused and embarrassed that I couldn't bare to bring them to my therapists attention. I would like to believe that they aren't related to the physical abuse in any way, but I can't be certain.
Should I tell my shrink? The last time I opened up to him about this cat business he didn't offer much insight before dropping the topic entirely.
I went to a group interview for a position at McD's. It was the same damn guy from the last group interview.
Guess what? I didn't get the position because, as he said it, I may have not been 'fit' for it. 'FIT' FOR IT!
When is fucking janitor work, cashier work and burger flipping in a fast-food place a fucking police academy? Eat shit and die, you lying fuckwit.
I gave my all to wear a fucking business shirt and pants, have the fake confidence of a god, and bring lots of energy to the table, and you somehow still don't want to hire me.
Seriously, I hope they fucking fire you.
>>17082359
there is a psychological link between cuteness and violence; our brains literally cannot handle the joy so we overreact. think women saying they could pinch a kid or gobble them up, think hamsters being so cute we want to squeeze them to death.
for the arousal, i'd say you jist don't touch people as often or with such intent, and your very human body craves that kind of contact. it's a shame that modern man put such a taboo on casual affection and touching; i'd say when and if you get a partner you should let them know you want lots of cuddling and responses to your touches. human beings can be very catlike naturally to being rubbed / massaged.
you could also just have a totally normal kink. ancient egyptians wanted to fuck dead crocodiles, so. brains be weird af.
>>17082367
You should have asked him to clarify; he wouldn't dare call you a fat fuck to your face.
>>17082379
Ha ha.
>>17082382
I'm totally serious. If he can't tell you the truth he's bound to falter, maybe come up with some off the cuff bullshit that you could easily refute.
>>17081701
>>17081693
Sometimes I post pretending I'm one of the persistent initial-seeking anons in the hopes that they see how fucking obnoxious it is.
>>17082390
I ask for initials occasionally because the person I sometimes write about/to introduced me to 4chan, and they occasionally write about/to me too.
It's not always some pathetic anon hoping it's their oneinitis who paid attention to them one time.
I want to dump my uppity self righteous white girlfriend for a disgusting submissive chink
I've been trying to reach out to someone all day but no response.
Not a single friend willing to give me some kind of hope.
What's the fucking point?
My phones fucked until tomorrow but there are other ways. You always got me.
I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger and now I'm afraid I'm not good enough for my boyfriend.
>>17082502
You are only as valuable as you value yourself.
>>17082511
That actually made me smile. Thank you, anon.
>>17082511
>be hypothetical pedophile
>value myself in high regard
See how your statement isn't true?
>>17082279
What do you mean?
Thanks for smoking the last bowl while I did your dishes for you.... again. Lets see if I buy any more for you again. Douche
Ffs
Wtf!
>>17080494
Just know that everyone hates themselves.
You are not alone.
Everyone. Never believe people's bullshit about being happy, because they always want more money, pussy, power, or whatever they think will get them what they really want...love.
>>17082515
I wasn't talking to a pedophile I was talking to >>17082502
I wouldn't have said it if the post was "I've been molesting children and i have low self esteem"
>>17082572
So your statement only applies when you think it's convenient. Okay.
>>17082290
Is the cat okay at least?
>>17082359
You should definitely tell him about your "arousal".
>>17080675
>>17080683
Welcome to the great lie.
Here's how it works.
>You hate yourself
>Find solace by finding people you think you are better than to ease your suffering.
>Shit on them to distract yourself from your shortcomings.
>But, if you are better than fatty, than fitizen is better than you.
>Constantly moving goalposts.
>I'm fitter than fatty, but, uh, better at C.O.D. than fitizen.
>One day, if you are really lucky, you realize that playing better than/worse than is a sham.
>Why have you wasted so much of your life comparing yourself to people you don't even really know.
>Spend rest of life trying not comparing yourself to others and disregard how other people live.
>Be much happier.
>>17082577
Yeah and not to you, you seem like a dick.
Have a nice day :)
I'm really into you and I'm pretty confident that you're into me too, but I don't have the balls to take the initiative because it shit goes south it would fuck up our social circle.
>>17082274
It's ok.. I can't anyways.
What's good? I'm down for whatever. You know I wanna see you. But, this is what happens when I have unreliable people weighing me down because I'm "helping" them. This is why I am the way I am.
to my brother:
seriously go fuck yourself. you think it's okay to push everyone in this family around like you own the place. you think it's okay to attack your parents, demean your sisters, and punch holes in the walls. you think it's okay the bully the one person who does all of the chores around here(me) and then you're surprised when the rest of the family is against you.
you're a fucking adult. so fucking what if you work part time at costco and it's just "so hard." in the meantime you're going mountain climbing. oh~ you must be in so much pain. on the same note our parents have to work 12-18 hours a day just to support your sorry ass.
I think I'm starting to resent the guy I love. To be fair, after all the shit he's put me through and after the way he's treated me, I'm not really surprised that I'm starting to feel this way. I think I would've felt this way sooner or later. It doesn't make it hurt any less though.
>>17082612
I feel that. also I hope you kill me . I don't wanna do it myself.
Stop. Trying. To. Get. My. Attention.
I know you're a slut, you fucked the one guy from the band, that one DJ, the loser fashion designer, anyone with a little social status has free access to your junk. I'm not going to be your boyfriend. I won't fuck you because to be frank, i don't want to hurt you.
A pure heart is worthless.
bisexual af.
>>17082750
baka desu senpai
Hey, Jersey boy,
I think you're handsome as hell... and you have an awesome personality. I don't often click with people; or get crushes... so this is new. I so very much wish you weren't my superior. I want to ask you out, but I'm afraid I'm reading this wrong and I don't want our work relationship to be awkward.
Ask me to get a beer after work one night. Please?
>>17082532
I'd have killed that nigga and buried him in my compost pile then use that shit to grow better MJ
All the cold in the world couldn't quell my rage. All the heat in the world couldn't warm my heart. I was troubled before, but now I'm troubled and changed. This journey has been too much.
>>17082619
You should probably initiate contact. Maybe they want to see you but don't know how to ask
>>17082641
You took the words straight out of my mind.
>>17082814
I'm trying but there are things in the way.
>>17082814
Like?
>>17082822
Whoops! Replied to the wrong post...
What's in the way?
>>17082830
Technology.
I'm waiting to give her a parting gift. I don't know when she'll be here. I wonder how this will turn out. I wonder how the rest of my life will turn out.
Does anyone else feel just really scared of hurting other people? I think I can get through nearly anything but hurting people is just the worst, worst, worst feeling. And sometime's it's inevitable. I wish I was less empathetic so I could put myself first easier.
>>17082237
yeah, so?
what the fuck you gonna do about it?
oh yeah, troll on 4chan like a fucking loser
enjoy shovelling gifts at stacy maybe she'll suck your dick lmao
>>17082854
This picture always hits me hard.
>>17082627
your bother sounds like a douche.
>>17082859
So does this one.
>>17082627
Lmaooo I'd knock your brother unconscious if I met him.
>>17082842
Ok?
I'm still angry, I think I will until the moment I get the courage and strength to stand up to you and really question you on your actions all those years ago.
I didn't deserve it. I never did. I deserve to be happy, To love and be loved. I adore the person I've grown into, I'm compassionate and loving and never lost my empathy for humanity.
You never took that away from me.
I'm an ugly broke loser that only fat chicks talk to.
>>17082869
Are you me? Jesus Christ....I really hope I'm not like this years into the future.
Could I please ask how old you are?
>>17082870
BRYAN
>>17082869
stay strong, anon. i know it's rough. you may not be able to change that person but knowing what they're doing is wrong and understanding that their actions don't have to affect you in the long term is the first step to being freed.
>>17082868
Lol it's fucking stupid. That's why it's so infuriating. Also im sort of antsy right now so I'm not sure if I considered all my options. But all I can think about is seeing and talking to this person but I know it probably won't happen. I'll probably be sucked into another situation with someone else I know or sit in my room all day. It's all kind of confusing but I'm probably creating the confusion by overthinking it all combined with some anger that came from someone else entirely.
>>17082867
i won't hold you back. he's a just a self-absorbed hippie who needs some sense knocked in him.
I'm not well. You can tell but you don't say it unless I admit it, in a nonchalant way that makes it all sound temporary. And maybe it is. But we pretend that a one-off day of good feeling is enough of a pause in this condition to make it not real.
But my skin itches all over, and my scratching has made tiny itchy cuts. Today in the shower I was spinning balls from the hair that kept sticking to my hands, clump after clump. I feel nauseus. I feel like I'm rotting, and I don't want to sleep with you- I feel contaminated.
But I can't stop working, even if it kills me. It'll pass, I promise. Don't get fed up with me.
I'm trying really hard to be your equal.
interacting with guys makes me feel like i'm the subject in this bizarre social experiment
some guy at school basically confessed feelings for me after i worked up courage to talk to him at a party, we made out hardcore, i tried to be extra cool because this has never happened to me before and this is the first time i've managed to overcome my fear enough to make anything happen for myself
i text him casually a few days later to ask if we might hang out sometime, he doesn't answer and doesn't speak to me in class
i've spent the past two weeks coming to terms with the fact that it was a fluke and he's just going to ignore me until the end of the semester and we'll just forget this ever happened
and then today we passed each other on the street and he made a point of smiling and saying hi. i'm too confused to be upset anymore. i can't wait until class is over and i can never see him again because this makes no sense.
>>17082881
So...can you text or something and say hi? Maybe it will help.
>>17082856
God this is so me. As badly as I get hurt and hate it I still would prefer it to hurting someone else. I know this because I've now been on both sides of a fWB relationship (I don't believe one can ever be truly equal, and if it is than it's too boring) In one case I was using someone else, and in the other I was being used. The latter relationship was much easier to deal with, because I got to the point where I just ended it. The former is hard because I lost a friend. But still it's better than continuing to hurt someone.,
>>17082721
Wrong. I used to have one. It felt bad, I was so lonely I cried every day. But now that my heart has been corrupted and polluted I miss that feeling. I really do.
I hate girls who changes their bf every 2 weeks and doesn't give a shit about it
>>17082934
I hate girls who leave a 3 month relationship after all the deep feelings, exchanges of heavy words, promises, love, plans for the future and don't give a shit about it.
>>17080856
>>17080859
Wow. That's incredibly cruel. To deliberately hurt another person like this because you don't find them attractive is so wrong.
Do you think maybe your choice of targets has something to do with the fact that you were fat as a kid? And still are? How would you feel if a woman did this to you?
i wish i would know how to absolutely shut down feelings.
>>17082959
Imagine someone doing that to you after months of love and being involved and a part of each others' lives.
>>17082911
I can't text because I have an unreliable brother who coerced me into sharing a phone plan with him and his mooks that don't pay their bills on time so I pay the consequences for trying to take the easy route. I tried using an app but it just won't work for some reason.
>>17082972
Is that what happened to you?
>>17082970
I wish I could shut down memories.
>>17082980
Yes. I was tossed aside and I can't forget the words we've told each other.
>>17082957
I know that feel. i used to be full of love and never want to hurt anything or anybody. Now i want to strangle a cat. Bitch made me a hater. Congratulations bitch you successfully destroyed a good guy.
>>17080458
What is this, Reddit?
>>17082980
It must really suck not being attractive enough to seal the deal with an attractive girl so you have to spend all your time flirting and dicking around with fat girls.
Kinda sucks how dishonest you can be and continue to be emotional towards men like that.
>>17082115
Well that really sucks for you, J, I'm never coming back.
-M
I can't figure out if I have a crush on this girl or not, and even if I do I can't do anything about it because for one, I'm mostly straight, and for two, one, possibly two of my friends (also female) like her. I don't even know how to be a lesbian wtf is this shit
>>17083004
You know I'll do it.
>>17082978
I see. I'm sorry. Do you live close to the person?
