Holy fuck how does anyone survive this anxiety? I feel my chest is about to cave in.... how the fuck do I get my brain onto something else?
Just do something else, anything else to distract your brain. Watch TV, play a simple video game, eat something tasty, browse some dank memes or shitpost on your favorite board
The first day is the worst. The pain will lessen considerably after you get through the first night.
Don't drink, don't do drugs and definitely don't try to talk to her or text her.
Good luck anon
Time, distractions, find another girl.
Start learning a new language and flirt with foreign chicks.
>>17076205
Really fighting the urge to drink tonight, but yeah I feel it won't do much in the long run. I'll probably just end up having all the feelings I have now + hangover. Holy shit this sucks
>>17076238
This legitimately is on my bucket list
>>17076207
Distractions sounds alright. Gonna pick up grand strategy vidya like hearts of iron 3. Heard that shit has a huge learning curve, should keep me distracted.
Did you break up with her? Sorry, OP. I'm here to talk and shitpost since studying is gay as fuck. Tell us about it.
>>17076189
Shit man, we've all been there and it sucks ass from a straw. This is as cliché as it gets: You're going to be okay in due time, I promise you that time will heal it.
I know that doesn't really help but you'll remember my words... in due time.
>>17076255
Kinda hard to tell who officially did it, it was mostly mutual. She felt I wanted to always be right in our disagreements, and I wouldn't listen to her. Truth is, she really just did immature shit that I called her out for, and always expected me to chase her. I made it clear I don't run after girls.
>>17076269
Thanks dude. I'm trying to take comfort in the fact that what I'm going through is something that virtually all men went through. I bet a lot of guys are in the same boat as we speak. I just hope this sensation passes soon. I'm literally shaking from anxiety. I'm not even sad, just anxious. But as you said, I suppose I have to just ride this out.
>>17076285
Sounds like you're better off without her. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and she sounds immature and retarded. It'll get better in time. Workout and persue your interests and shit. Push-ups. What are you into?
>>17076297
Thanks anon. I may have some bad procrastination habits, but I'd say I'm doing ok in life. She actually excels in school because she studies her ass off, but the truth is that she's quite unintelligent. She would say shit like "does the sun go in front of the moon during the day?" Lmao. Yeah I love a good workout, and I think it will help me get though this. I'm trying as much as humanly possibly to keep my head in the present moment. It's 9:00 here and think I'm gonna crank a good workout here anyways to clear my head. Thanks for sticking with me man.
The thing that's stressing me out more than anything, believe it or not, is telling my family. Overall my parents and grandparents adore her. I've also introduced other girls to them and I don't want them to start thinking of me as sleezy. Plus they might biasly side with her and think I let something good go.
I was in the exact same position, with that exact same setup of her immaturity, and me suffocating from separation anxiety after the fact.
Friendship. Be around the people who know you, and appreciate you for exactly who you are. Don't dwell on her petty re-imagining of your strengths as weaknesses - your value will always outshine the insecurity of others and they will always try to attack you for it, but friends. Friends ease the pain.
Even if it's a late night emergency text because you can't sleep under all the memories, a friend will answer. Spend time with your buddies and buddinas. do that immediately, and for as long as you can, until the point where you can be comfortable saying both good and bad things about your ex.
until you can see the truth of what your relationship used to be, and how much better you're going to be and how easily you'll breathe without all that toxicity.
>>17076333
I feel like everyone here has procrastination habits. People who are only book-smart are cunts. Have to be book-smart and shit in life but you also have to network and just make right decisions. TheMoon.jpg. Where else would your head be? I would try not to stress the parental situation. Shit happens and they should know that by now. I'm sure they're decent people but what they think is irrelevant because it's your life. You don't owe them an explanation as to why your relationship ended and they shouldn't care because it isn't their relationship that ended.
>>17076293
You're cool, man. I'm sure you'll find a hotter girlfrienf soon. I wish you nothing but the best of luck.
>>17076352
Exactly. I've become a bit more distanced with my old friends because we all ended up in relationships, but this seems like a good oportunity to seek out these connections once more. But overall I feel I'll be pretty alone in letting this blow over, I'll perhaps have to try to make new friends.
>>17076387
Yeah ultimately they will have my back, but they'll definitely throw in a few minor judgements, and will probably show an underlying disappointment it didn't work out, which is only natural. I suppose telling them will be like ripping off a band-aid.
>>17076398
>>17076387
>>17076352
>>17076297
Thanks so much brothers. You guys are all an example of how productive and supportive this community could be, with a nice healthy sprinkle of occasional shitposting of course. If only the people at my campus were half as interesting and capable of connecting with.
>>17076189
Start the quest for another girl but don't immediately start messaging or trying to hook up. Instead enjoy the market, look at all your options that exist and keep telling yourself she not really that much of a loss - there's plenty more to choose from.
When you're ready, start fishing.
>>17076443
People are just retarded, sadly. What's your major, faggot?
>>17076453
Biochemistry
>>17076189
Dude just be a single happy man lots of good stuff out there
>>17076293
Op I had a similar thing happen when my ex left me last year. Severe anxiety and feeling lost. I had panic attacks constantly for like 3 weeks and barely ate for a month. I drank and worked and listened to dance music. Also stayed up most hours of the day since I couldn't sleep. Felt like nothing could help me and really I thought my heart was going to shatter and I would die. I was in physical pain.
Really the shittiest time of my life. I still get those feelings a few times a week now, but mostly work keeps me busy as does my gun hobby. Once things quiet down, I still feel empty, though. Don't expect it to magically disappear next week. You'll probably have a long battle to fight with some good and bad days. Good luck to you. I hope you are able to find happiness.
Similar position. My girl broke the news to me though. Then grabbed our dog and off to mums for 'space'.. We actually tried to be amicable at first. But I had to take a stand and tell her how I felt. Before she left I laid my heart out there.. Didn't stop her and I'm afraid now she will never think to turn back.
We had it so good.. I had it so good. I never had one argument. I loved her to death. I've been a zombie for a month it seems now. Now I'm creeping the advice boards but there's no miracle reversal. I've tried everything.. Can't forget her. I don't want to lose her. I have to leave where we love together now! My whole world bros..
I am so shocked.
>>17076189
That's called withdrawal. You see while your dumbass was in love your brain was releasing very powerful chemicals that stimulate the reward centers of your brain and now all those chemicals are gone. Enjoy your feels.
>>17077395
This.
Also, advil helps to counteract some of the physiological symptoms.
>>17076729
wow. that sounds very intense. i am sorry to hear that and I can empathize with your pain.
I was pretty much abandoned by the guy I was dating in January of this year. After fucking him, sucking his dick, cuddling with him all night, all morning several times a month during graduate school. Lieing naked in his arms, exposing my entire body to him and trusting him, feeling close to him, connecting with him in the flesh. We went on hiking trips and made out the entire way. We held hands the entire way and shared stories about our lives, shared the most painful, and confusing memories of our lives and listened to each other.
Sure we had a very strong sexual bond that may have over shadowed the interpersonal bond, but alas I was still I was devastated, and actually just finished crying. I try to limit my crying spells to once a week now, instead of every day. This is April now. This is THREE MONTHS of crying, and feeling abandoned, worthless, like I don't matter to anybody. My brain has SHUT DOWN, and I do not feel anything for the past THREE months. Every single day I feel empty, my energy has been completely drained. i do not feel any heightened sensations of joy, only slight periods of possitivity, but the rest of the time I feel utterly hollow, with a huge void in my heart, my mind, my soul. Like I have been used up completely until no more of me is left. I feel like I am looking through a glass, nobody seeing the pain inside of me, nobody seeing how badly I have been destroyed and used up completely.
The entire time I was with the guy, I shut myself off from everybody else in my life, because I thought to myself, well I'll just see ____ afterwards and it will be fine. We will cuddle and I will feel comforted again.
All these comforting feelings were shut down completely when he left, my body and my brain was in shock, and still is. Nobody understands what I am going through. Not even my parents, they act like everything is fine.
In the words of Sheryl crow, "the first cut is the deepest" It sucks ass, but take things slow and try to keep yourself thinking about other stuff.
>>17076189
i tend to do things that are not just fun but raising your self esteem, too. a videogame is fun but wont stop me from feeling bad afterwards. doing some sports or something you see some other value than plain fun will make you feel worthy. but dont ask me. i hate all my exgirlfriends. i always tried to get back at them for leaving me. this should not be the reason for you brushing yourself up. just get shit done and then feel good about your achievement
>>17076285
this is something everyone of use might identify with. and in most relationships i had i was feeling this way. the feeling that the girl is playing some kind of act. running away but really wanting to be close. this paradoxic behaviour stems from fear. the fear of getting out of your action pattern and act, also getting rejected for doing so. so this is what i have been witnessing with girls over the years.
but do we as men have our own ritualized patterns of behaviour that keep us from getting hurt? and im sorry to say this because it means that all years i have been talking down from my rational throne to an overemotional bag of fear ive been partly wrong. we have those action patterns. they just work different since we always try to link our actions to some kind of rational reasoning. like sorry cant move an inch in your direction yada yada yada have to get up early tomorrow(work related). these are strategies to not risk getting rejected early on. this is part of our self concept. dont get me wrong. this is all fine but in no way better than the girls strategies.
