Im in huge trouble and I dont know what to do. My bf of a little over 2 years that I live with has been digging into my past. Like he met an old friend of mine who Ive hooked up with a few times and Im not exactly sure how much he told my bf, but its enough for my bf to have this sickening look at times when he sees me and its breaking my heart. I dont want him to look at me this way.
I tried confronting him about it but then I lied when he started asking questions. I didnt mean to. But I couldnt admit to what I had actually done. College was a very promiscuous time for me and I know how much he doesnt like promiscuity.
What can I tell him that will make him let go of it? What can I tell him that will ease his pain?
He's a virgin and Ive been abstaining for all these years for him. But then he just dismissed that by saying its not anything to be proud of and I cant blame him for feeling that way. I just dont want to lose him.
Help
>>17074865
So basically you were a whore and now your beta provider found out about it.
>>17074865
What kind of things did you in detail?
>>17074871
I am not a whore or ever have been and hes an amazing guy. And even more Ive left my promiscuous days behind.
>>17074879
Things that I never want him to find out. I never want him to think of me that way.
bait
>>17074881
you just reinforced everything he said you dumb cunt.
>>17074883
Apparently he already knows if he gives you odd looks. I think this is bait.
how many guys have you fucked or done shit with
>>17074899
I didnt keep count. But I know for certain its more than hed find acceptable.
>>17074898
Or he doesnt know the entire story and only a small part and Id like to keep the rest hidden if I can.
>>17074918
>and Id like to keep the rest hidden if I can.
You're a fucking retard, a relationship shouldn't be built on a lie. Either tell him or dump him. This relationship is clearly doomed because you are trying to keep shit from him. That's not acceptable.
>>17074865
>>17074918
5? 10? 20? 50?
did you do any two male threesomes? and hes a virgin? why havent you fucked him yet
>>17074918
Let me put it another way. If your pish flaps were tires how many miles would they have on them?
>>17074924
Why does he need to know in the first place?
>>17074935
>>17074932
I didnt keep count so I dont know. More thank Id like to admit.
>>17074893
How is him being an amazing guy make him a beta? Fuck you and Im not a whore. Why are you such a dick.
>>17074865
Assuming this isn't /r9k/ bait:
You made some choices in your past and now you have to deal with the consequences. Lying about it made it worse so I wouldn't be surprised if he ends the relationship.
Sexual comparability is a big part of what makes a relationship work. If your number is far greater than his and that bothers him, then your are sexually incompatable.
Tell him the truth, apologize for lying and tell him that the way you acted in the past was impulsive and immature. If you're lucky he'll love you enough to overlook your past. Right now you're just wasting his time and yours
>>17074945
no one is calling him a cuck, but its an injustice for a monogamous, good man to be in company with a whore. If your going to go dating and not wanting to worry about your partners reaction to your daily penis intake, then find a guy that has equal or greater amount of sex partners.
>>17074940
my ex girlfriend fucked 11 guys before fucking me and she told me everything like the first month and we dated for 3 yrs. After the first year i was over it because she was getting tight when we werent having sex and now shes always tight for me. and i was a virgin but i cheated a couple times so now ive fucked 4 girls and she thinks ive only fucked her lel. but now were broken up but still fuck a lot
>>17074940
how do you not keep count? more than 10? were you blackout drunk every time or something? you need to tell him everything that you know so he at least trusts you to be an honest person. something that is required in a relationshit
>>17074952
He shouldn't overlook her past and let this be a lesson to every single whore out there who thinks they can just whore it out and eventually settle as if it never happened. The past will ALWAYS be the biggest indicator of what to expect in the future, that's why sexual predators get marked for life. An easy chick is an easy, unreliable chick for relationships.
I dated this slut once who I found out after a few weeks had cheated in the past, and she told me it was totally gone, and it wasn't her fault, the guy cheated too, etc. I never trusted her. After we broke up, she got into two serious relationships and cheated on both of them. This last guy keeps forgiving her and she cheated on him three times.
Past is everything.
I'm a beta virgin male and I am in the same boat. I view sex as something special between a man and woman, something you do with a partner you love to death. When I heard my girlfriend had multiple partners I was devastated. I felt that she had no integrity with the men she chose. I was completely aware that I was being immature with myself and my girl. What she chose to do before she met me was her choice, although I may not have agreed with it. In the end, I just forgave her. I am in love with her and it was something I had to accept rather than overlook. It's a bit immature for your boyfriend to treat you that way, but I can understand why he feels the way he feels. Nobody is perfect, we just need to accept that.
>>17074974
The major difference is that for her it's just her past she can't change. OP lied about it in the present. Also, having had multiple sex partners =/= having an especially high amount of partners.
OP, there's little you can do. Fess up, apologize for lying, say it was born out of fear of losing him. If you can prove you have not cheated (eg diary entries/emails to friends about abstaining from sex for him), do so. Give him space if he asks for it or seems to need it. Show dedication to work through this together.
Ultimately it's his call whether he wants to stay together or not. You'll have to accept that.
>>17074964
I agree with you-
But we're not him. And perhaps op has actually matured and learned to control her list since she's been abstaining for years with this boy.
At any rate- I would never date a guy who's sexual parter number was really high, and I've specifically kept mine very low and said "no" to people who I was attracted to because I know that it would limit my dating pool in the future. I agree that you can tell a lot about someone by looking at their past. But you can't just look at one aspect of their past and decide.
For example- number and situation both matter a lot, but I'd rather date a guy with a high number who's only hooked up with girls he was in a relationship with than a guy with a lower number who's only done one night stands.
The situation is the really important thing to me, not the number as much. So it's possible that OP's BF could overlook her past. He shouldn't, since she lied about it, but it is possible
Everything is going so well. I dont see the need to throw everything in the gutter
>>17074990
A guy would have to be 50 years old or something to have a "really high number" and having only been in relationships, or he'd have to be a serial dater with relationships that lasted one month or so each, which makes it worse. You're looking at it totally wrong.
A high number on a young person is a red flag regardless of context. With one night stands it means they're easy, with relationships it means none of those lasted at all.
>>17074940
>Why does he need to know in the first place?
You are specifically, intentionally witholding information from him because you know he would dump you if he had it. That is lying. That is a relationship built on a lie. You are a fucking lying little slut, it's that simple.
Might as well embrace your inner slut, eh? Got any nudes for /adv/ to enjoy?
>>17074996
Things are already in the gutter-
The longer you continue to lie to him, the harder it will be for him to forgive you. He could, in some way, find out about your past for himself. In that situation, he'll NEVER forgive you because you didn't come to him- he caught you in the lie.
If you go to him now, when things are good, he might consider forgiving you.
You're assuming that he won't ever find out, but this is something you'll have to live with for the rest of your life and you'll have to actively work on hiding it for the rest of your life. If he's already suspicious, he'll be looking- and when he finds out for himself it's over.
Then you've wasted all of his time and all of your time.
If you want any chance of this relationship surviving, you need to confess to him and beg for forgiveness. If you don't, he will eventually find out and end the relationship. This is your only opportunity to fix what you did.
>>17075008
Someones bitter and has nothing of value to say.
>>17075020
nah everything I said was pretty much spot-on. Now let's see that body, you filthy little slut.
Get rekt whore. Reap what you sow.
>>17075008
>specifically, intentionally witholding information
Thats not what a lie is you idiot
>>17075028
Yes, intentionally withholding important information IS lying.
As a matter of fact, OP openly ADMITTED to lying to his face in this very thread. She's a lying little whore.
>>17075013
Its not like I told a blatant lie. I just made it more vague and ambiguous than it actually is. Not some unforgivable lie you seem to be imagining.
>>17075003
Sorry- when I gave that example I was just doing it as a hypothetical. Obviously in real life there are not many people who have a high number and have only had sex in relationships.
I was using it to demonstrate the idea-
In reality, if faced with someone who's had 4 relationship hookups vs someone who's had 2 one night stands (and I liked them equally) I'd choose the former.
That's a more realistic example.
One night stands/FWB to me are a red flag. I'd be willing to overlook maybe up to 3 if the boy was really amazing and has changed his view of sex, but the idea of using someone else's boy to stimulate your own without a deeper emotional connection grosses me out.
>>17075032
>intentionally withholding important information IS lying.
idiot
>>17075036
Less talk, more nudes. Preferably pictures of your ass and tits.
Don't worry, we won't tell your bf. :o)
>>17075038
What the fuck do you consider a "relationship hookup"? Because those words do not mean the same thing AT ALL.
>>17075045
lol go be pathetic somewhere else.
I'm 27, and only ever been with 2 different women, both long term. Now that I have my masters, I'm making money, and own a place, bitches basically come in droves now that my last relationship ended.
90% of them have been non stop riding dick since they were 16. I've been on so many dates with girls who are just straight blatant whores, and think "well now its time to settle, past doesn't matter i dindunuffin".
Its hilarious how upset women get when you dump them, and tell them its because they used to be whores, and can't be trusted.
>>17075055
I'm no more pathetic than a promiscuous little girly who lies to her boyfriend about her sexual escapades so he won't dump her. :o)
Got those nudes ready for me yet?
>>17075061
Actually, you're investing your time and effort into hopefully making a faceless anonymous stranger feel like shit, who more than likely is just some bored guy from r9k hoping to make reformed sluts paranoid about their future prospects. That's pretty pathetic.
>>17075036
You mislead him to believe information that is not true specifically to keep a secret that you know would otherwise ruin the relationship.
>"I tried confronting him about it but then I lied when he started asking questions. I didnt mean to. But I couldnt admit to what I had actually done. College was a very promiscuous time for me and I know how much he doesnt like promiscuity. "
You said yourself that you lied. If he asked questions and you lead him to believe something that was other than the truth, then you lied.
Op you're not doing yourself any favors by clamming up and trulyingntondelude yourself into thinking that you've made no mistakes here.
Listen- I don't think you're a whore or a bad person. But you did do a bad thing, and you need to correct your mistake or else it will eat away at you until your BF finds out.
Tell the truth op. Everyone makes mistakes. Ask for his forgiveness and hold yourself accountable for your actions. Apologize and let him know how much he means to you. No excuse justifies your lie, but if you admit that you were wrong and explain how you felt, he might understand better and forgive you.
To err is human op. None of us are perfect. If this boy really loves you then he may be willing to overlook this. It is the only chance that you have at having a healthy relationship with him
>>17075061
Im too busy laughing at how buttmad you are. Ask for thme again when Im not laughing this hard at how pathetic you are.
>>17075064
>yfw
>>17075068
I'm sure you've got some on your phone or PC already, no need to try to act innocent. You've already admitted to being a slut. :o)
>>17075048
So, you can't "hookup" with someone that you're dating?
Please use your brain, a hookup is basically a way to say that you had somewhat sexual relationships with another person. That person can be random or it can be someone you're in a relationship with.
Relationship hookup means having sex with someone who you're in a committed relationship with.
>>17075067
I didnt say I didnt lie. But what I did isnt the tyoe of lie that would make a person angry when they found out the truth. As far as hes concerned he'll never know I lied.
Try reading what Im saying.
>>17074865
You shouldnt have started it in the first place. You knew he didnt like promiscuity, yet you were promiscuous and thought it was a good idea to date him. It's better to break up now than have a relationship filled with resentment.
>>17075075
No, dude. Relationships, hookups and one night stands are three different things.
Relationships = a committed, usually monogamous thing between two people.
Hookups = occasional encounters with someone, like a fuckbuddy for example, you hook up with them, usually no attachment
One night stands = casual sex with someone you'll never see again
Sex in relationships in just relationships, there's no special term for it, it's implied already. And again, having four SERIOUS relationships at a young age (I'm guessing 20 or 20-something) would still be a bad sign. How long did each of those last, and why did they end so fast?
You're looking at things very narrowly.
>>17075078
Are you stupid??
Listen-
Any type of lie is bad.
If you found out that your boyfriend cheated on you and you were like YOU LIED TO ME!! And he said "well you never asked so TECHNICALLY I didn't lie" would that make the situation any less infuriating??
If he believes something that is not the truth, he is going to freak out and blame YOU when he finds out the truth.
ANY type of lie is enough to make his heart break when he learns the truth.
I don't know why you're even trying to argue this. It doesn't fucking matter what type of lie. You lied and that's enough
>>17075088
so I cheated on him now?
You might be too stupid to understand.
>>17075094
>doesnt know what an example is
>cant even comprehend that it was your boyfriend who cheated on you in the example
Maybe you shouldn't have lied to him all these years. you're not entitled to his betabux you know
>>17075085
First of all I can't believe that you're calling me narrow minded- a "hookup" is specifically about the most ambiguous sexual term in the English language. Havnt you seen that stupid news meme where parents are trying to define what "hookup" means??
The definition varies depending on your geographic location. From where I'm from, it is purposefully ambiguous and just means that you had some level of sexual relations.
FWB is the thing that you described
Also:
>Sex in relationships in just relationships, there's no special term for it, it's implied already.
No. For example, I live in the south and a lot of people abstain. You can't just assume that people are having sex because they're in a relationship.
>And again, having four SERIOUS relationships at a young age (I'm guessing 20 or 20-something) would still be a bad sign. How long did each of those last, and why did they end so fast?
well assuming that someone is say 25- that could be four 2 year relationships since they were 17.
I agree that it's not likely for someone to have four relationships at 25 but it's totally possible.
I myself have been in one sexual relationship and one no sexual relationship. The sexual one stated when I was 15 (didn't have sex until I was 17 tho) and lasted until I was 18. The non sexual one started when I was 19 and lasted for 2 years until I was 20
>>17075094
Holy shit, you are dumb as a rock. I mean that genuinely. If this isn't b&, you truly are just fucking retarded. Never breed.
>>17075094
In the HYPOTHETICAL EXAMPLE I gave, your BOYFRIEND was the cheater.
You ARE too stupid to understand
>>17075094
And you even have the balls to call anyone stupid.
>>17075094
Please tell me I'm being rused.
>>17075110
>First of all I can't believe that you're calling me narrow minded
Don't be stupid and try to put words into people's mouths. I said you were looking at things narrowly. And yes, right now I called you stupid.
>You can't just assume that people are having sex because they're in a relationship.
Being in a relationship implies that you are having or eventually will have sex, even for couples to wait until after marriage. It's always a part.
>well assuming that someone is say 25- that could be four 2 year relationships since they were 17.
Four 2 years relationships back to back? And you think that sounds reliable? I mean, come the fuck on.
How would you even feel you have something special with someone who has been in so many relationships? Clearly that person's standards for settling down are not that high.
Why don't you have sex with him if he's your boyfriend OP? He must feel quite devastated with the idea that all those guys in your past experience sex with you and he has never had the chance to have that with you, eat you swear that you live him and want him. As a girl, I imagine that must feel horrible for a guy.
>>17075142
And you swear that you love him *
>>17075142
Have you considered that he is why
>>17074865
in case this is not bait (I think you went too far by saying he is a virgin and you have been with him 2 years, live together and not fucking)
That said is this old fuck buddy still in your circle of friends? If so bad move on your part and if not since your bf knows there is a past he won't stop, ever, nor should he. Your relationship is on deathwatch.
>>17075028
>>17075042
>>17075036
There are lies of commission, and lies of omission.
OP is baiting /adv/ with a story of the latter.
Having had so many sexual partners that one loses count,
wew lad.
>>17075165
So he believes in no sex before marriage, found out you were a whore and instead of breaking up he's staying and complaining like a cuck? You two are idiots
>>17075129
>I said you were looking at things narrowly.
My mistake, I meant to say "I can't believe you're telling me that I'm looking at this situation narrowly".
No need to get defensive and lash out.
>Being in a relationship implies that you are having or eventually will have sex, even for couples to wait until after marriage. It's always a part.
Ok, but that's not what we're talking about. Just because someone was in a relationship doesn't mean that you can assume they slept with the person that they dated before dating you. Hence the need for the term "relationship hookup"
>Four 2 years relationships back to back? And you think that sounds reliable? I mean, come the fuck on.
Well maybe they started dating earlier that 17 like most people? Or maybe there were a few months between people. Obviously after talking to someone and understanding the detailed of the situation it would be clear whether or not it was a red flag.
>>17074865
OP.
I'm a virgin, and a robot, and a mysogynist and to be honest...
I hate to side with a woman, but, someone has to tell your boyfriend to pull his head out of the sand/ his ass, get out of his over-protective little bubble and get with the fucking times.
9/10 women are fucking whores. The other 1/10 are comatose or dead or too fucking ill to be a whore.
With that in mind, any woman that isn't a whore is gonna feel left the fuck out, so even if no one actively pressures her to have sex, she's gonna feel like she's the weird one so she'll want to have it.
Not to mention that girls probably like sex (I don't really fuckin' know... given the way women make it out to be a bad thing sometimes "men are pigs who just want sex", leads me to question if women actually like it), and that it is much easier to get laid for a woman, than it is for a man.
Your boyfriend is being unreasonable, and has set standards too fucking high.
Do I get his point?
Yes, absolutely, I'd prefer a girl with the same amount of experience to me... and if I found out about a girls past (which I'm smart enough not to ask about) I'd probably be upset too. You don't want to be picturing her fucking other guys, it's heartbreaking.
But he needs to manage his expectations...
Personally, I'd consider anything under double digits to be good, and even I think then my standards are a little high, given how most women are these days.
Honestly, I think your boyfriend has been protected too much, and can't tell the real world from his little over-protective bubble.
>>17074883
>Things that I never want him to find out. I never want him to think of me that way.
That's too late. He'll either get past it or he won't.
I nearly ended up with a massive whorebag like you OP, and I did get past it too. But as it turned out, she never really changed.
>>17074945
>>17075166
>That said is this old fuck buddy still in your circle of friends? If so bad move on your part
This. That's pretty fucking terrible if he is.
>>17075658
Where do these comics even come from. I see them pop up everywhere but I've never seen the source.
>>17074865
>bf of two years
>haven't fucked him at all
>on top of that you're lying to him
Either fuck him or leave him, jesus fuck dude how do you hold a sexless relationship together for two fucking years?
>>17074958
>she told me everything like the first month
>i cheated a couple times so now ive fucked 4 girls and she thinks ive only fucked her lel.
And this is why women lie.
>>17075658
Thank you for these comics though, never ever get married. All women are sluts no matter hwo innocent they appear.
>>17074865
>He's a virgin and Ive been abstaining for all these years for him.
You had me up until this point.
3/10 decent bait
>>17074865
Things are already fucked up if he's "digging into your past." The only answer is what, in 1980s Soviet Russia, was known as "Glasnost" - complete openness. Just tell him everything. Hide nothing. Start over. Then comes "Perestroika" - restructuring. Figure out if you want to still be together, and renegotiate the relationship. It's the only way, otherwise you'll be living your life in constant worry of something being uncovered, and that's never worth it.
>>17074865
he's a controlling asshole who has insecurities about you sleeping with other people. If he really loved you he would accept you for who you are right now, but he doesn't. These are huge red flags and I would know, I'm going through a similar situation.. my partner fucked two underage girls and hes mad at me for sleeping with people before I even knew him. Get away from this manchild while you can.
>>17074865
It's okay OP! After you guys have sex and get comfortable, he'll have an absolute meltdown about how he "needs to experience youth" or feeling inadequate around his buddies, after which he'll either dump you, cheat, or "gently" prod you into an open relationship.
Screencap this.
>>17076920
also take note that most men would fuck tons of women if they had the chance, you are not wrong for exploring your sexuality the men who are replying to this are just bitter and jealous that they cannot do the same. Get away from this man he is possessive and only sees you as an object that has been "contaminated". Men have fragile egos and hold us to ridiculous double standards, they get mad even when we are raped and see us as broken.. find someone who treats you as a person and not an object.
>>17075056
This. Whores have no concept of loyalty or integrity
>>17076920
>>17076940
Bullshit.
It's 1000x easier for women to get laid and you know it you stupid whore.
>>17074865
i mean you have to respect him for abstaining from sex he sounds like a good guy and you should treat him as such and tell himthe truth. he'll be upset but he deserves to know the truth.
>>17076940
you make me sick you wench.
>>17074884
Seriously. Not even good bait.
>Guiz mai virgin bf doesnt like promiscuity. I was promiscuous. Wat do? Am grill.
>>17076953
>>17076962
>>17076984
>>17076988
>>17077036
Invasion of the /r9k/ basement dwellers, those who'll never have a gf until they're over 25 and even then it will be the type who's sad and depressed because she can't graduate a Weight Watchers class.
>>17077079
Incorrect on all counts.
I was merely stating a fact.
>>17076962
that was my point, men would get laid more if it was easier for them and they are jealous that women have the easier hand in that because they would totally take that opportunity if they had the chance, and insecure men like you blame women who take that same chance even though they would themselves.
Tell him that hooking up with your old friend means nothing to you now.
Let him know how much he loves you and means to you and he should slowly but surely move on from it.
>>17077092
You're sort of retarded.
Do you not see how this balances things out?
>Women get to explore their sexuality
>men lack this freedom
>so when the time comes for women to settle down they get shut down for being dirty whores. no one wants used goods
It's the only way to balance it out. If you want to propose a better way to fix things to be more fair, be my fucking guest.
>>17074865
>I just dont want to lose him.
Perhaps you should. Dude's not ready to handle a relationship yet; possibly not even sex. Staying in this is hurting him, just not for the reasons he thinks. Let him go, so he can grow.
>>17077079
Projecting much?
>>17074918
>I didn't keep count
Confirmed slut
>>17074865
Here's what OP is going to do
>lie
>manipulate
>the end
What OP should do but won't because she needs a beta provider and hasn't found a poor sap like him before
>Tell him the truth so they can part ways and find people who truly share the same values as themselves
>>17074945
Alpha fux beta bux. He is a beta for commiting to you after you got railed by the whole town.
>>17074865
Typical western woman.
Chad here. Been with 11 women and I'm only 19. U don't care how many guys a girls been with and I don't care if she's fucked a nigger because I've fucked many black women.
Find someone like me OP. I'd never date a virgin and you shouldn't either.
Im 29 and just got out of a longish (6+yrs) relationship about 8 months ago, been with 9 women my entire life, all relationships. I work in the HVAC trade and am doing pretty well at the moment, nice apartment and I just got a new car. Women throw themselves at me.
Been on no joke at least 50 dates since I broke up and let me tell you, finding a non-slut is next to fucking impossible. We have a nice dinner/convo, eventually the topic turns to past relationships and lovers, 99% of the time it ends up with me being disgusted at the whore sitting across from me.
Asian, white, flip, french, literally doesn't matter, all whores.
Unless the girl is 21 and under (even thats not a guarantee) you're most likely being conned by the poon.
>>17074865
Look! It's the town's bycicle!
>>17075064
Once a slut always a slut, people dont change that much.
>>17074940
>Why does he need to know in the first place?
Because a relationship is built on truth and trust.
Otherwise it is more of a Lierationship.
>>17078606
I can confirm this. And I thought I was being generous when I cut them loose at 6 dick dips. Some also have the audacity to lie and "conveniently" leave out those "ones that didn't matter" or "I was just young/in college", and only include relationships. The worst is when they say they forgot how many. All of my fucking nope. More then 6, i'll pump n dump, double that and I worry for my personal health and wont touch them with my 6" pole.
Not saying I have anything against a woman and what they do with them selves. Their lives, their bodies. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to judge them on their past actions. After all, it's my fucking bux, my fucking rules. It's a mans world once you're 30+. So bros, don't settle for sluts. Never. Settle.
