Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
FAQ:
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships.
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking.
>Brandon
Fuck off
Guys:
>>17031757
Guys what?
5 guys burgers and fries?
>>17031757
I know, right? Guys.
>>17031752
Ladies, please finish this sentence:
I really, really like it when he ____________.
>>17031783
wipes
>>17031783
is 2D
>>17031783
Doesn't ask me to finish sentences
>>17031797
weak
>>17031783
eats me out
>>17031783
does the dishes.
Guys, how much does being fit increase a girl's attractiveness, if she's already thin? How much of a difference does muscle make?
Girls
How do I get more single girl friends? All the girls in my group are either in relationships or moved away. It's cool cuz I'm friends with their boyfriends too but it kind of makes our parties, bbqs, and bar crawls sausage fests. Every time I or my other single friends being single girls out they usually end up being more like a date than a friend. I miss just having a bunch of platonic single girl friends around.
>>17031783
is JOHN CENA
DOOT DOO-DOOT DOOOOOT
DAH DOO-DOOT DOOOOOT
>>17031865
Not much. It's nice and I admire it, but it's not game changing. That's on the physical front though. I'd be more hopeful about a fit girl because I like lots of physical activities. I'd expect a fit girl to be able to keep up and show some interest.
Why does she keep staring at me in lectures but then blanks me if I say 'hi' to her? Should I try one more time?
>>17031878
She is probably shy and inexperienced, if you like her, proceed.
It can be hard, so don't bother otherwise.
Girls
When you were/are single. How many different guys do you think you would have sex with over the course of a year?
>>17031865
It depends on the type of guy you're trying to attract I guess. I like being active so a girl that looks like she'd be down to hike would be a big plus. But I don't really need a girl to be into or down for EVERYthing I am.
>>17031898
0. I don't have sex outside of a relationship.
>>17031865
Think about being fit as pass/fail, with two levels of success.
Fail - unfuckable and embarrassing
Pass level 1 - fuckable, but still embarrassing, can't show to friends and family
Pass level 2 - fuckable and not embarrassing (chubby marks this line for me)
Personality factors higher into attractiveness than fitness, but you can disqualify yourself by being obese just like you can disqualify yourself by being a dramatic cunt.
>>17031898
None
>>17031783
eradicates the Jews and protects the sacred glory of the Fatherland.
>>17031783
Bites so hard, and so much I'm worried he wants to eat my neck.
>>17031907
>>17031921
Do you think and talk about sex a lot with your friends?
>>17031898
None
>>17031935
Depends on the friends, but not usually
>>17031933
Noice. Do another, I'm wet now.
>>17031935
I think about sex kinda often, masturbate if I feel horny.
But I don't talk about it that much with my friends because I think it's pretty distasteful.
Guys, do you remember your romantic love interests you were only platonic with (too young, no opportunity, etc) or they don't stand a chance against non-platonic ones?
>>17031971
I remember them. I have no idea what you're actually asking about them though. Stand a chance? I don't make women compete against one another, especially not across time.
My girlfriend is reeeeeally insecure about her vagina. She's got big lips ("roasty") and told me she hates it so much she wants surgery.
I mean I don't love it, I would like it better if it was an innie, but I don't actually fucking care it's not like I'd leave her over it or anything I'm sure she wishes my dick was bigger or something. It's "meh", I really like HER you know?
So, how can I make her feel better? What does she want to hear? "I love you just the way you are" or something cliche like that? I mean she's so insecure she's shy to let me eat her out even, because she doesn't like me looking at it close. When we first had sex she asked if I thought it was weird and I said "pussies are pussies". I know that was awful but like I said I was kinda disappointed and trying to hide it.
>>17031996
There's nothing you can say that will make her feel better. It's better to say nothing at all than to say something and have her take it the wrong way.
>tell gf I'm gonna try to stay in town after graduating
>"I mean I love you, but don't ruin your life for me yet. I don't want you to destroy your career."
What did she mean by this?
>>17032007
It means she would respect you more if you put your ambition ahead of the convenience of the relationship.
>>17031996
Maybe her roastie lips remind her of all the chads that pumped and dumped her.
>>17031865
If she is not that young, it makes a world of difference. I don't even lift, but I have a HUGE boner for 30+ years old girls who are fit.
>>17031996
I love roast beef, honestly. I am not sure if it would help, but I'd tell her that it's nice to play with it and lick it.
>>17031752
Ladies, when you look around this board at all the emotional turmoil and anxiety caused by your gender does it bother you at all? Like these men are having so much trouble just because of the equipment you were born with.
>>17032026
Not really, no. Why should it? This board is toxic and cancerous and isn't representative of the real world at all.
>>17032014
What if I find a really good job here tho
>>17032026
Wut. I have nothing to do with the personal problems of individual people on /adv/. It's like if a girl is raped by a man and then has a negative association with men after that, it's her problem she has to overcome, not men's.
>>17032026
>do you care that short poor ugly men are mad they aren't getting pussy
Why would they be?
>>17032007
She means she understands if you want to move somewhere else, sit down and have a conversation about your future together.
>>17031996
All you can do is reassure her that you think she looks beautiful either way
There's a bit of taboo about surgery but honestly if she's really insecure and she has her heart set on it then why not
>>17032041
Not telling you how to live your life, but people with career ambition tend to know the answer to the job question rather than asking it. In other words, if you were doing it "right" you'd already know whether a good job is available in your area or not. Again I use quotation marks because everyone has their own idea of the right way and wrong way to take care of themselves.
If she happens to see it the way I do, it would be better for you to focus on the jobs which you know exist (and make location the secondary priority) than to do it in reverse, putting location in front and only then asking "well what are my options here?" What is more important than where.
>>17032060
There is a good job in the area
My interview is next week
>>17031783
Asks me about my kinks on 4chan
Also rope.
Why do girls on dating sites seem uglier than the ones IRL? Do pictures generally make any person uglier or is the dating sites population that bad?
>>17032075
Why can't you keep her and the job?
>>17032088
I don't have that job yet
The job I already have an offer for is in another state
>>17032087
Will you tie me up and kill me?
>>17032088
It's the dating site population. If anything, pictures are highly manipulated today.
>>17032097
No, sorry. I'm sub and not into guys.
>>17032075
Well in that case that's good. But my suspicion is that maybe she had the same concern I did. I mean look at your reply. Here's what you said up front:
>What if I find a really good job
and here's what you said later on:
>There is a good job
Do you see how a little difference in wording can give two totally different impressions? If you know the job exists and you already have an interview--even if you're not sure whether you'll get the job--then don't say "what if." Say "I've found a good job here, that's why I want to stick around."
People can only go by what you say, not what you're thinking. It's just a communication thing. Go clear the air with her and tell her that you're going to pursue this opportunity first because it's perfectly good for your career and very convenient. If it doesn't work out, then comes the question of whether you're going to consider moving away for a job or stifling your career by taking the second- or third-best options locally. (Don't do the latter.)
>>17032088
>Why do girls on dating sites seem uglier than the ones IRL?
Because really attractive girls don't need dating sites.
Duh.
>>17032100
REEEEEEEEEE GET OUT LESBO
>>17032088
>Why do girls on dating sites seem uglier than the ones IRL? Do pictures generally make any person uglier or is the dating sites population that bad?
Same reason guys are uglier on dating sites than guys irl. Decent looking people don't need to resort to online dating.
>>17032109
Never!
>>17032118
I wish I was a lesbian
>>17032101
Yeah the last thing I want is for her to feel extra pressure on our relationship just because I chose to stick around
>>17032128
Yeah let's do Trading Places for a week or so.
This is a question for the ladies that may require some male input:
I want to try and make an impression on my boyfriend, specifically by turning up to his house in a full lingerie set, stockings, suspenders, heels and all. Obviously I'll wear something to hide this between leaving my car and reaching his front door...
Question 1 - is this a good idea or does it have the potential to go hideously wrong? Do guys actually react well to girls surprising them in nice pants, or is it something we do to make ourselves feel better?
Question 2 - I'm fairly fortunate with my body shape in theory, huge tits, small waist, a decent ass and long legs (which I recognise aren't terrible) but I have a really negative body image. I gym regularly but still feel hideous a lot of the time. I know I won't look as perfect as a lot of girls do in underwear like this but do I just man up and do it? Or should I be more realistic and wear a burka or something?
>>17032140
First question: if he lives alone and you know he's home, I think it'd be a nice surprise
Second question: if you have a nice body but low confidence, it's not as likely to have the same effect it would if you were confident. I'm not a guy, but I think many guys would prefer a girl with a less-than-perfect body who has a lot of confidence and shows off her good parts than a girl with a great body with low confidence.
Girls-
4chan has gotten to me with all of it's memes.
1. Is it possible for women to go out with her girl friends and actually stay loyal to someone
2. What are behaviors every girl does when she's hiding something
Any gender-
How the fuck do I learn to trust someone? Already been cheated on once. Took a year from dating, and even though I've been with her for a while I still can't trust her, and for once I don't feel like making a young metro joke.
>>17032140
>is this a good idea or does it have the potential to go hideously wrong?
My boyfriend loves it when I tease him and I initiate things. And I look fairly well in lingerie.
>I know I won't look as perfect as a lot of girls do in underwear like this but do I just man up and do it? Or should I be more realistic and wear a burka or something?
I guess he already saw you naked so he clearly likes you the way you are.
Plus - rarely girls look "perfect" in underwear, photos we see are majorly corrected on photoshop.
Just go for it.
>>17032140
Take him shopping/browse online together and have him pick out what he wants you to wear.
>is this a good idea or does it have the potential to go hideously wrong?
I'm assuming your goal is to get your brains fucked out, and that's what's going to happen, so probably not.
>>17032140
Question 1: I'm pretty sure he'd love it. Never quite done anything like that myself but I don't see what could go wrong, but maybe it's better to drive there yourself and not take the metro or something.
Question 2: Figuratively grow some balls, he'll think it's sexy as hell which'll make you hopefully feel sexy as hell which will hopefully lead to some great sex. Boom.
Besides who looks perfect in underwear, except heavily photoshopped literally-paid-to-be-gorgeous models? You're fine.
>>17032144
He would be expecting me, I don't think I'd be brave enough to go there without a warning. What if he had a friend or a parent round?!
I wouldn't say I have a nice body at all. It could definitely be less flabby, I have blemishes, but it isn't as bad as it could be so I suppose I just have to find underwear that accentuates my better parts. I have never done anything like this before so I figure once I put the whole set on and look in the mirror, I'll either feel like a million bucks or I'll want to cry and hide under the covers forever. So yeah, hopefully my confidence will improve if it's the latter.
>>17032146
>Is it possible for women to go out with her girl friends and actually stay loyal to someone?
Of fucking course. I have been with my bf for 8 years, never cheated. Travelled all over Europe with my friends (boys and girls, girls only, guys only) and never cheated.
>What are behaviors every girl does when she's hiding something?
There's no thing "everyone" does.
Usually - being very secretive, not leaving phone/laptop around, being overly sensitive about some subjects, changing the subject, avoiding questions, being more distant, etc.
>>17032150
>>17032151
I don't know if he could really be bothered to scan through multiple pages of women's pants (and who can blame him) so although this is a great idea, I think I'd rather just choose my own.
>>17032159
You guys are all awesome by the way. Thank you for the votes of confidence! I'd hug you all if I could.
>>17032170
You probably can't go wrong with some sexy lingerie.
Internet hugs gratefully received and reciprocated.
Can you be friends with a person you're badly crushing over, and who is too far away to pursue?
Badly to the extent you are painfully envious of all people around that person, because they can talk and touch this person and you can't. And you can't think of anything else, but that person.
And you realize that it's unhealthy and said person wouldn't like to hear this.
>>17031971
I do. Would be delighted to get a call/msg from any of them.
>>17032026
>when you look around this board at all the emotional turmoil and anxiety caused by your gender does it bother you at all? Like these men are having so much trouble just because of the equipment you were born with.
Dude here but this reminded me of pic related
>>17032140
If you do this, consider not ripping it off right away. Hang out, chill, do a sexy dance for him or something, tease him before you get nekkid. Makes it a lot better when it finally happens.
>>17032116
>Decent looking people don't need to resort to online dating.
Don't generalize, lots of decent-looking people use online dating for all sorts of reasons
eg hermits, autists, introverts, people who are isolated by job, people in foreign countries, etc
>>17032146
>How the fuck do I learn to trust someone?
Date someone you can trust. I wouldn't even consider dating someone I thought would cheat on me. Seriously, lots of actual decent human beings out there.
>>17032140
Do it, sounds awesome, he'll love it
Just make sure he's home alone or it'll end up like the scene from Love and Other Drugs
>>17032214
>Don't generalize
>when the person asking the question did the exact same thing
>>17032212
I was going to start with some oral, give him chance to look at me in full kit for a while, then see what happens!
Proper noob question coming up...I'm just about to purchase the suspenders and all the models seem to be wearing thongs with them. They all look incredible but I don't think I could pull a thong off...would it be okay to wear suspenders with shorts (as in pants with a bit more butt coverage) or will this ruin the illusion?
>girlfriend tells me I need to get more friends
>she says "go on dating apps, but just say looking to chat/for friends"
>"it's not cheating as long as you don't pursue anything more than friendship with them"
>start to talk to some girls on site
>get going with one girl who is pretty nice, we get along
>been talking for about a day
>not interested in a relationship with her or anything, just friend-material regardless of if I was in relationship or not
>"hey I'm at the mall you should come hang ;) :)"
This girl is definitely trying to make a move on me right? I'm just trying make friends not cheat on the girlfriend I love. I feel like this is a rocky bridge here.
>>17032274
What the fuck
>>17032269
Why not normal panties/tanga? I mean I understand the dislike for thongs.
men: what catches your attention the most when you have sex with a girl? or something you find really hot? ex. big tits in your face, doggy big ass, her face mostly, hair, smile...? feet? rofl
>>17032284
How much she gets into it--the way she moves, stuff she says, sounds she makes, etc. That makes the difference.
>>17032274
Your gf is probably cheating on you at least emotionally, or will in the future.
Also if you're not explicitly stating you are in a relationship within the first screen of chatting you are leading the poor girl on. I can elaborate but I'm 75% sure you're baiting.
>>17032284
I mostly pay attention to how into it she is, how she's responding to my moves, and just try to take in the whole experience.
Guys. What should I think of a guy who only cares to get me off, but doesn't come himself?
I have to be doing something wrong, how do I fix this?
>>17032304
Be happy and pray to the gods that he stays with you?
>>17032304
Last year I was hooking up with this chick and she would cum multiple times but I wouldn't and so by the fourth or fifth time she just straight up asked what made me cum. I last really long but can cum within minutes if I want and I really just felt like having marathon sex. Best way is to just ask.
Guys/Girls, any of you have any sexual fantasies you're kinda ashamed of, that you wouldn't normally share?
>>17032335
Girl here.
I have many fantasies I am ashamed of.
I don't feel any need of bringing them into my sexual life tho.
>>17032340
That's kinda what I was getting at. I haven't had a ton of sex, mostly because I've always settled for "good enough" and never quite dared to bring up my kinks to any partner, for fear of judgment.
Do you just deal with it and accept you won't be able to live those fantasies out?
How do I become more physical with a girl? How do I know when it's right to hold her hand?
Let's say we go to a park and we just sit there talking? Or when we're walking around downtown? Or when we're at the art gallery How do I get physical there?
>>17032352
I just know my boyfriend isn't into it and I value him more than my fantasies.
Sex with him is good. And my fantasies aren't something that important.
I guess you just have to try to understand how much it matters to you.
Is it something really important, something you really want to do, or you could live with them being fantasies?
>>17032335
The only person I tell my fantasies is my partner. I'd never tell anyone else anything, but I tell him everything.
>tfw I told him I'm into shota/loli and his response was "that's really hot".
I was so relieved
Females, so: I've been hanging out with a girl I met at the gym, just casually, I mean who doesn't like having friends? I knew her in high school so it wasn't THAT weird to start hanging out, right.
Anyways like I figured, she kinda has feelings and whatever, but honestly I'm just 100% burnt out on dating, at all. She knows I got dumped from a 2+ years relationship this past January, and I don't want to be mopey but fuck, I just want to focus on me time, without entangling myself with someone else, caring deeply for someone else, etc etc. I just feel like it'll end and I'm just not ready for that mess. Plus I've got job stuff I'm working on, life stuff, we're both 24/25 year old professionals, and meeting people isn't something we do every day, but whatever.
How do I let it down easily? I mean she's been pretty overt flirting with me, I reciprocate, but kind of play it off jokingly. I don't want to "friend zone," or keep her in my back pocket for when I want to get laid, or hurt any feelings, just keep being friends. How the fuck can that be done? How would you want to hear it, if you had to hear it?
>>17032358
If she doesn't reel away at you in extremely close proximity it's probably okay to touch her. If she has closed off body language than no.
>hand holding
Is this a thing after high school for people that are just dating? I hold hands in serious relationships but just dating maybe I'll grab her hand if we're running across the street or maybe she'll link her arm in mine and lean on my shoulder or I guide her with my hand on her back but I don't really hold hands on dates. I guess it's kind of fucked up that I think holding hands is awkward if we haven't fucked yet. Just remember if you're uncomfortable doing something they'll be twice as uncomfortable receiving it.
>>17031878
Maybe you're the one staring at her and she keeps noticing
>>17032369
Well I'm not sure honestly. I've actually (partly because of) broken up with my first boyfriend because I didn't feel we were sexually compatible and I was too much of a pussy to even talk to him about my kinks (and he thought being dominant meant taking me from behind for a change, besides the point).
I wouldn't say I'm unhappy with "normal" sex, but I don't really pursue any these days since it's not that satisfying compared to what I think up.
>>17032371
Wow, that's awesome. Lucky you, glad to hear it.
Anyone help
Seeing a girl for possibly the last time ever tomorrow, we share 1 class and although we’ve spoken a few times before I have no idea if she’s interested in me or not. I’ve pussied out of asking her out so many times because I’m too embarrassed by rejection in a crowded corridor but I have to just go for it tomorrow.
I’m genuinely awful with girls so is there any tips that won’t make me look like a desperate autist?
>>17032385
I'm very thankful I can do that with my boyfriend, but the point is you should be able to as well! A person should be your partner and your other half, through and through. There is a good chance there is someone out there who will be totally compatible with your kinks. So my advice is don't try to hide them. They should be something you share within a relationship.
I'm a girl with some social anxiety, just started dating someone but basically meeting him in crowded, loud etc. places really freaks me out. It would be ideal to meet at his or my place, but this would probably lead to sex, and I want to take things (relatively) slow. He's v understanding and okay with just going for walks but I'm afraid it will bore him and he'll get cold and uncomfortable if we do it for few hours (that's how long i would like a date to last, i like long talks)
have you ever been in a relationship with someone with similar problems? does (relatively mild) social anxiety bother you in a potential partner? any dating tips
>>17032385
Then if it really matters to you, talk about it with your next partner and gradually let him know what you like and see how he reacts. Eventually break it off if you're not satisfied.
Say "I like it rough" and then gradually escalate to "I like being humiliated" or whatever, stepping your game up as time goes by. If you two can settle at a level which is satisfying for you, go for it.
I did this with my boyfriend, when I noticed it was "too much" for him I just stopped telling him what I would have liked to try. What we so now is fine, wouldn't lose him over this. But of course I'd like to do kinkier stuff
>>17032392
Having fantasies and acting on them is different.
My boyfriend knows I have a thing for being domineering in the bedroom, he knows the extent of it, but he isn't fine with acting on it as much as I'd like.
I don't think it's a huge deal.
>>17032389
To avoid choking on your words you should make a sign that says "will you go out with me". If you make it big enough you don't have to be that close to ask her out. To make sure you have her attention you should do it in the middle of class next to the professor rather than the hallway since she might not be looking.
>>17032392
You're right, I'm just kinda jittery about it. I'm afraid of being judged and whatnot, which is obviously stupid but I can't help it. Anyway I'm not looking for/finding a boyfriend/girlfriend anytime soon so no hurry I guess.
>>17032401
Yeah trying to ease into it is probably a good idea.
>Girlfriend "doesn't like the people I drink with"
>She drinks with her girl friends
>Girlfriend's birthday today
>Girlfriend is hanging out with one of her girl friends
>Came over earlier. We spend about 30 minutes together before she goes home to be with her dad
>May come back tonight to go out with me later unless her friend keeps her
>Spending Saturday with me
Should I worry or is the Melatonin I've been taking during the day giving me depression?
Girls,
If you've had a pretty bad argument with your bf and you're angry and upset, would you rather he still sleep with you in your bed that night or should I just sleep on the sofa tonight?
My gf just went to bed without saying anything and I don't know what to do.
Anybody
Can napping/sleeping be considered a hobby? If you do it outside the basic nightly sleep requirements?
Like if I decide to nap extra everyday when I'm off work. From like 1pm-5pm just for fun
>>17032407
>Having fantasies and acting on them is different.
Oh I definitely agree. No two people will be 100% perfectly compatible in that area. My boyfriend himself isn't into shota or loli, but he likes that I like taboo things. Even though I like shota, I don't at all expect or want my boyfriend to somehow bring that to life. I just think sharing fantasies, even the stuff that's completely fantastical, is fun and good bonding.
>>17032428
Depends how bad it was and what it was about. If you come back to bed full of regret and shameful submission, you might be allowed in.
But really no way of knowing if we don't know what the argument was about.
>>17032430
No, wouldn't say so.
>>17032428
Definitely go to bed with her! If you stay on the couch it will further emphasize the distance between you and might worsen the argument. You don't have to cuddle and be all lovey dovey. But may i ask: why do you even go to bed on an unresolved issue? Sounds like a really bad idea desu
>>17032428
Sleep in the bed. If she's the kind of girl who expects you to not sleep in your own bed, that's horrible. I never understood how that was just a "normal" thing. Imagine if a man made his wife sleep on the sofa when he got angry.
>>17032433
Yeah, sharing is cool and healthy for the relationship.
He was freaked out at the beginning (he is not very sexual and fairly inexperienced) but I think he kind of enjoys the way I like to have sex, now.
At the end it's just communication. As usual.
>>17032437
>why do you even go to bed on an unresolved issue? Sounds like a really bad idea desu
So much this. It's cliche, but people really should practice never going to bed angry. You should be able to sincerely say "I love you" to one another before you go to sleep.
>>17032428
Sleep in your bed, yeah.
Maybe tell her "I am sorry things got so heated up, I hope we can solve tomorrow. Goodnight, sleep tight" and smile.
>>17032417
Is the first line relevant? Just because she doesn't like your drinking friends doesn't mean you have to dislike hers. But do you dislike them and have you expressed this? If you're not comfortable with who she goes out with you need to express it before you lose an idea of what it is that makes you uncomfortable with her doing her own thing. Why are you worried? Do you not trust her? Do you not trust her friends? Do you think you will be hurt somehow?
>>17032417
I don't understand, what's the problem?
>>17032461
I mean, i can't understand how an argument can get so out of hand you just say fuck it i'm out i stead of go trough with it till you have a solution. I guess i'm old fashioned, but i'm a firm believer of the "never go to bed angry" rule...
>>17032473
I don't understand it either. I don't understand or agree with fighting being seen as a normal or even healthy part of a relationship, or any adult interaction. Regular fighting is a sure sign something is wrong. People should be able to discuss problems calmly and productively.
After looking into it I honestly think the only chance I have to stay is if I get that job next week
Fuuuck why does everything here have to be shit
Can a relationship survive three years apart?
>>17032481
I've grown up in a household where fighting was normal. And it took me a while to learn that it ISN'T. It's not necessary for things to get overly heated. What i think is the game changer for this is to not think of it as a "fight", with opponents and a "winner and a loser", but instead see it as a problem that needs a solution that works for both parts of your "team".
>>17032269
I prefer reg panties or boyshorts to thongs. Guy here
>>17032504
100% agree, boyshorts are hot and comfy.
>>17031752
Why would I want to ask advice from a female? They give shitty advice
>>17032515
Says the bitter and lonely "nice guy"
>>17032526
I'm neither bitter, lonely, or a nice guy.
>>17032515
No one's making you. You can just hide the thread and move on with your life, you know.
>>17032473
We're a generation of low commitment. In the past marriage was sacred and divorce was stigmatized. Things are better now but people since people are so willing to leave a relationship, compromise is overlooked.
>>17032547
I blame cellphones and liberalism
>>17032199
No.
>>17032200
>mfw Helen of Troy
LOL
>>17032284
I'd have to think a lot to answer this properly. I'd guess face/smile.
>>17032304
You should think he is a giver, a great partner and stop worrying.
>>17032335
Yes, I won't share with you. They are only a few and they aren't important to me, so I'm OK with not realizing them.
How do you have so many fantasies that you're ashamed of?
>>17032561
I wouldn't say I have many I'm ashamed of, it's just some things I'm not comfortable sharing with a partner since I've had a bad experience with it before.
>>17032554
You kind of have a point with liberalism having a part in this. Marriages were primarily business partnerships between families in the past. Commercialism pushed an adolescent concept of love and that's now a driving force in relationships. And adolescent love is fickle and fleeting. Marriages make less economic sense now that both partners commonly hold jobs and gender roles are all but abolished. There really isn't a good reason to get married anymore.
Guy who posted about going to sleep with my gf or not after arguing here.
In my case (it's not the first time this has happened) I just don't know what to say and I see her so angry that it just makes me feel angry back towards her, so the last thing I feel like doing is speaking to her, and I see that she has no intentions of speaking to me either. I also feel like every time I DO try to speak with her I'm just making things worse, so I get scared, and usually the next day or few days later it ends in one of us sending a message just saying "ok we need to talk after work", and even then after trying to talk about the issue it might not even be fixed.
I know it's not good, but I'm just describing my personal situation.
>>17032485
Absolutely not.
>>17032567
Tell your fantasies to us.
>>17032576
Lmao your gf is probably awake lying in the room fuming and you're over here shitposting.
If you don't deal with your fear of confronting her you will break up. Learn to communicate homie.
Could people start putting a link to the old thread in the OP? It'd be helpful.
>>17032395
>It would be ideal to meet at his or my place, but this would probably lead to sex, and I want to take things (relatively) slow.
Why would it lead to sex if you don't want it yet? Could just be a few hours of playing settlers of cata'an. Or binge-watching the last season of GoT, or playing super smash bros, or whatever.
>does (relatively mild) social anxiety bother you in a potential partner?
Nope, struggle with it myself, and i'd consider it a plus anyway ("mild social anxiety" could describe most of the girls i've ever been interested in: smart girls tend to worry)
>I'm afraid it will bore him and he'll get cold and uncomfortable if we do it for few hours
If he's into you, he won't get bored (at least the first few times)
>any dating tips
Both of you have to be mature enough to handle problems with communication rather than passive-aggressive behavior, otherwise it'll be a miserable relationship. He has to be patient: if he's hot-headed and impulsive, he'll get frustrated easily trying to understand and deal with you and be tempted to cheat.
Communicate. As much as possible. Talk to him about what's bothering you, don't bottle it up.
Avoid sulking/brooding if problems arise, and avoid submissively accepting invitations to parties or events where one or both of you are uncomfortable.
Make sure you feel secure confiding in him. Don't be afraid to tell him about your worries: he won't judge you or think less of you for them.
And if he does, that's the final tip: dump his ass. Don't feel obligated to stay in an obviously doomed relationship. There's a great, understanding partner out there for you: don't be discouraged if this isn't him. Good luck.
Girls
If a guy friend was to pop in on you at work just to say hi, would you guys get annoyed at some point?
There's this girl I like that works in the library at my school. The library is usually vacant (or has at most 2 people) inside most of the time. I usually come to say 'sup, but idk if she's getting "annoyed" at all. We do chat for a while, then go back to our things, and she doesn't seem bothered by it. Idk, maybe I'm overthinking it.
It's not like I'm barging in there when she's helping someone...I usually go when there's no one there....Maybe I should spice things up and bring a coffee on the last day of school or something.
>>17032611
You low key stalking her bruh. It's okay if you're in there to get a book and say hi but popping to say hi is annoying and creepy. One of the signs of stalking is changing your routine or going out of your way to see someone.
>>17032584
Nothing that outlandish I guess. Submission, bondage, orgasm denial, light pain maybe. Especially ropes/shackles and some such things. Just being helpless while still feeling completely secure.
>>17032633
You shouldn't be ashamed of any of those. That's almost vanilla. I expected at least pissing or something as weird/disgusting.
>>17032430
>Can sleeping/napping be a hobby.
By definition a hobby is an activity that you pursue, and an activity is an action done (either for pleasure or whathaveyou). Sleep/nap is the suspension of action and consciousness
Ergo, No. Sleep is directly antithetical to everything that a hobby is
>>17032304
>Guys. What should I think of a guy who only cares to get me off, but doesn't come himself?
>I have to be doing something wrong, how do I fix this?
Sounds like me.
I've had four partners (or at least four I've had penetrative sex with), only my girlfriend has ever gotten me off. Before her I enjoyed sex because I just thoroughly enjoyed watching a girls writhe in pleasure (I got pretty good with my fingers) and because I enjoyed figuring out what set girls off.
Even now, that's still one of my favorite parts of sex.
You're not necessarily doing anything wrong. For me, the reason I never got off with the other girls is, for one, I last forever, like the absolute minimum time I takes to get me off is like 30 minutes, more useless like after 1 hour or during our second round (so pretty much every other girl was done by done), and two, because I just wasn't comfortable yet.
I'm probably one of the most closed off people you'll meet. I'm one of the friendliest and easygoing people you'll meet, and shit just absolutely rolls off me to the point where I look like I'm impossible to faze, but you can always tell I'm pretty tightly wound and serious at my core. So opening all those doors takes a while.
Don't know if that at all applies to your guy though.
>>17032284
>men: what catches your attention the most when you have sex with a girl?
When you can see in a girls face she's practically trembling from pleasure, their eyes, and ass.
>>17032658
No, nothing disgusting I would say. But I guess I don't really look very ball-gagish so when I told my boyfriend he was very taken aback/shocked so I've never really told anyone else except online.
is it weird to not be able to dissociate someone from someone that they've slept with.
i fell for this girl pretty hard, but she dated someone that i know and am kind of grossed out by. and whenever i'm with her i just feel like she's beneath me because she was with a guy like that.
>>17032118
Art there looks like shit. Just saying.
>>17032128
Don't, also don't go agp anon.
>>17032569
And in the end the kids are fucked in a divorce.
I've been told a girl I like is "skittish" and that I should try and befriend her. However, I'm socially inept, too terrible, and have waited too long to start interacting with her (I'm shy, school is about to end). Do I have a decent chance of success if I ask her out in the regular way (chatting up, coffee, exchange numbers) tomorrow? Or should I just give up, which is what I actually want to do?
>>17032601
>Could people start putting a link to the old thread in the OP? It'd be helpful.
I think I'm the only dude who ever does it. Everyone else just keeps asking, "Why?"
>>17032395
>I'm a girl with some social anxiety, just started dating someone but basically meeting him in crowded, loud etc. places really freaks me out.
My girlfriend is kind of similar. My favorite places are almost always bars, breweries, restaurants and places with a lot of hustle and bustle. Hers are bookstores, libraries, cafes, parks, and the like.
I remember our first date was at a quiet cafe, we sat on the patio and had a nice chat getting to know each other, then we went to a restaurant that was pretty mellow (the kind that had live music, but a more mellow and quieter jazz).
Our second date was to an arboretum where we walked around and chatted, a noisier restaurant for dinner, a quieter cafe while we waited (it was like an hour wait lol) and then after a pool hall where I first taught her how to play.
All of our earlier dates were kind intermingled like that. I don't think I intentionally thought about it at all, but I've always thought dates should be diversified and cut up in pacing, because it helps ease you two in to one another seeing each other in varied lights, helps you learn about one another, and helps keep things exciting.
We've been together for a little over a year, and our activities are pretty eclictic. She'll go with me to bars, breweries, and pool halls (she didn't really drink and would take like half an hour to pot a ball before she met me, now she loves stouts and can handily beat most average players) and I'll go with her to parks, cozy cafes, and bookstores, and just sit and read with her.
It's all about compromise and keeping and open mind towards trying new things.
>>17032430
>Can napping/sleeping be considered a hobby?
Yes, it's an actual hobby for some people (they pursue it seriously, creatively, and share it with others)
Look up polyphasic sleep, Dymaxion system, Uberman cycle, etc (pic related)
>t. narcoleptic, most of us try these at some point, then give up because they don't help
>>17032515 >>17032526 >>17032531
The correct response to shitposting is never "more shitposting".
Just don't reply to redpill/r9k/mgtowlgbtqia*/whatever bullshit
>>17032702
>>17032601
thanks for these answers, they are actually helpful
I think I would be able to go to busier places with him after a while... just not for the first couple of dates
>>17032701
At least give it a try.
>>17032701
>Do I have a decent chance of success if I ask her out in the regular way (chatting up, coffee, exchange numbers) tomorrow?
How exactly do you expect us to answer this?
Maybe she's a lesbian, in which case your chance is ~0%.
Or maybe she's been secretly waiting for you to ask her the entire year, in which case it's more like ~95%.
We can't read her mind. Do it and see what happens.
>>17031868
Bumpin for this, still want friends.
>>17032730
find girls with similar interests? or just the same way you find male friends
>>17031868
The same way girls find actual platonic male friends that aren't orbiters, you put yourself out there, and just luck out.
>>17032632
>creeping
I mean, we're good friends no doubt about it. Usually she invites me or I ask/text her if it's a good time.
And it's only if I'm down at school anyway. (I'm a commuter)
Reading my original post, it does come off as stalker-ish though
I do agree though, I might be coming off as a bit stalker-like. I'll start taking it easy then.
What would be less creepy though?
Guys
How to tell if a guy is
1) crippling shy/passive
OR
2) not interested/too polite to say no
OR
3) leading you on
>>17032773
Not a guy, but why would you bother with any of them?
>>17032739
>>17032740
Hmm I'm taking an art class next month so maybe there. Otherwise I usually meet people through friends or going out. Problem with meeting girls at the bar is usually someone ends up hooking up I guess.
>>17032727
I have good intel. Not a lesbian.
Doesn't know me aside from a few times talking to her.
>>17032773
He's probably
4) oblivious
Just talk to the dude
>>17032773
Honestly, getting drunk with them. But maybe this is too much of a normie solution.
>>17032773
open up/be real
or >>17032793
>>17032773
1) Express your interest, flirt a little. See his response.
2). Same as the first answer.
3). Give him a little time, if you've showed interest, flirt and he does nothing to advance it.. other than sex or if it leads nowhere. I.e., like flirting with a tree stump.
>>17032781
Well I'm willing to deal with the first one.
>>17032767
From your post it sounded like you didn't really hang out outside of her work. If you're that close you should just ask her like "hey I hope I'm not bothering you or getting you in trouble by stopping by all the time." Give her an out, and make sure she knows it's cool to be honest with you. Working at a library seems like it might be dull but a lot of times there's little projects the librarians put you on to keep you busy (I worked at a library for 5 years). It might be best if you hang out elsewhere ask her to coffee or something.
>>17032793
>>17032801
>>17032805
I have done all of this and I'm still confused about it.
>>17032800
We did this about a week ago and he was responsive to the flirting but now he's being unresponsive again.
>>17032826
How long have you've known him/showed interest?
After a while if someone doesn't get a hint or try the next level(other than sex), then maybe they are leading you on. I'm a shy a guy, if a female show me obvious signs then my instincts kick in.
>>17032826
What did you do and how did he react. You're really not giving us much to work with here. What do you consider flirting. Also how old is he.
>>17032823
Thanks, I appreciate it.
I'll give her some space though, I agree.
I find it hard to get the "right" amount of interaction. Maybe I've been chasing her for too long, so maybe I'll hang back a bit and see what happens? Idk, I don't want to lose the friendship but I want to continue the relationship...I hope I'm making sense.
>>17032739
Not that anon, but unfortunately a pretty ridiculous number of hobbies are traditionally and overwhelmingly male: coding, vidya, gamedev, tabletop games, fly-fishing, camping, bodybuilding, pornography (consumption, production, sharing), erotica, DIY, chess, MMA/BJJ, the list goes on and on
Even in middle school i thought it was pretty depressing that most girls miss out on so much fun shit. Makes me wonder how much of the introversion/extroversion gender gap can be explained by slight/moderately-introverted guys being directed to introverted hobbies when their female counterparts are directed to extroverted ones instead (if it's strongly biological to begin with, they'll select themselves like this anyway, so that's much less sad).
>>17032773
>How to tell if a guy is
>1) crippling shy/passive
It should be pretty obvious, "kinda shy" may be ambiguous but "cripplingly shy" shouldn't be hard to spot (eg few/no friends, doesn't talk to people, awkward, no eye contact, can't make small talk, etc).
I'm what you could call "cripplingly shy" and i don't think anyone who knows me (or of me) has any doubts.
>2) not interested/too polite to say no
First of all, if he's shy, what do you think's going through his head? Shit like "she's out of my league", "she could never want someone like me", "no way she actually likes me", etc. If you're especially attractive/outgoing, these are not totally unreasonable.
And if he just has difficulty saying "no" to pretty girls (don't we all?) then he'd be saying "yes".
If he's genuinely non-interested, he should have said so. Since he hasn't, i'd say keep going.
>3) leading you on
Is he a manipulative, narcissistic scumbag? If so, forget him. Otherwise, this isn't likely in my experience (only sociopathic dudes get off on it, the rest don't understand it: a massive case of blueballs isn't worth the tiny ego boost).
Also like >>17032793 said, consider option 4) oblivious
>>17032781
What's wrong with shy guys? (curious)
>>17032842
I started talking to him at the beginning of this year since I saw him around regularly. Knew of him before then cause we're in the same program but never paid much attention to him. I've been talking and flirting with him a lot since the start of this month. We've grabbbed lunch together and drinks although drinks was in a group setting. I've invited him to a lot of school events and I've also told him I think he's good looking etc. He is pretty shy normally but idk extent of his shyness. How obvious do the signs have to be?
>>17032845
I posted an explanation below your post. He's turning 21 this year. I'm turning 23.
>>17032862
>What's wrong with shy guys? (curious)
Boring and can't communicate, mostly.
>>17032876
I actually find them to be really interesting once they open up. Also it's sorta nice because you feel extra special.
>>17032863
Does he ever initiate wanting to get together?
Does he ever try to put his arm around you or hold your hand?
Does he initiate any flirty contact? I.e., touching your arm, brushing his legs against yours while sitting?
Does he look into your eyes longer than a glance?
Does he ever call you?
Like I said, I'm shy, but when a female is obvious with me and I'm interested too, she'd know.
>>17032869
>>17032863
By flirting I'm guessing you mean suggestive comments? It's possible for a guy to miss all these or not reciprocate for fear of appearing creepy. I was really shy around your dudes age. My first gf, before we even started going out literally had to grab my dick to get me to figure out she liked me. A year before she grabbed my face and stuck her tongue down my throat and I just blew it off as her just being drunk and wild. But she had been after me for a year and finally got fed up and made a bold move.
>>17032894
That's nice, but I really can't be bothered. There are plenty of guys out there that I don't have to wait around for.
>>17032284
I like it when she is feeling pleasure from it and I can tell. When she's actively enjoying it. I guess that counts as her face, but it's not her face specifically, faces are just much more expressive than the rest of the body.
>>17032611
>>17032767
I used to visit my friends at their work at school all the time. Eventually ended up working there myself. If it's a slow day, it's always nice to have a conversation with a friend. If it were outside of school that she worked it might be kind of weird, though. Unless she's showing any problems with it I wouldn't worry about it. If you weren't friends it might be different. But if you're worried about it, you should ask.
Girls: rate how much penis size matters 1-10
>>17032904
3? 4?
I had an ex with a pretty small dick (I never measured obviously but I'd say it was maybe 3.5-4 inches when erect) and it wasn't an issue.
But I've seen some microdick porn and I could never touch that shit.
Guys:rate how much vagina size matters 1-10
>>17032862
I don't think he's a manipulative scumbag but I've been unpleasantly surprised before.
I'm definitely more outgoing than him but not exactly more outgoing than the average person. Maybe like a 6 on a 1 to 10 socialization skill. I think I look ok facially and I'm not fat but I don't think I'm way outta his league or anything lol.
>>17032895
He's initiated hang outs but sorta half assedly. Like oh ya come if you can but it's okay if you can't or I don't know the exact details but if you wanna come etc. He rarely initiates conversation in real life or contact cept the day after we went drinking together he gave me a hug. I feel like he avoids eye contact desu and the only time he actually held my gaze was the time we went drinking.
>>17032899
I think bold is an understatement LOL but your first gf is a real hero. I am not sure I want to do that because I wouldn't be comfortable being so aggresive. Like if the gender roles were reversed I'd def be weirded out...
>>17032946
So a large one is okay with guys?
>>17032915
8.5
>>17032915
I don't know. What kind of weirdo would stick a ruler in a vagina?
>>17032947
Large and tight? Yes, it is.
>>17032935
To be fair she did ask before she grabbed it. It wasn't until she grabbed it that I started to think "hey I think she might be attracted to me." Remembering back it's hard to imagine how dense I was but hey maybe your guy is a similar (hopefully not as extreme) case. I would definitely have appreciated if she just went out and said that she was attracted to me but well that's not how things went.
>>17032935
It sounds like either he doesn't care enough to hang out with you to put in a little effort, maybe just doesn't have his shit together, or maybe you intimidate him. Are any of these qualities attractive to you? Maybe you need to reevaluate what you see in this guy. Maybe don't put so much effort if he's not. If he does like you he'll get his shit together and chase you a bit and make it more clear where you stand.
>>17032800
This doesn't work for me. No matter how much i drink, the inhibitions don't go away.
Benzos don't work either. Sucks donkey balls. Wish there was something that worked so i could actually "have a few drinks and loosen up" like everyone else.
>>17032876
>Boring
Most introverts are only boring around people they don't know very well. Isn't that common knowledge, really?
>stranger: So what are your hobbies?
>introvert: ...
>friend: so have you thought what you're gonna do for the spring chainsaw-speed-carving competition?
>introvert: hell yeah, got a great idea already, gonna look straight outta call of cthulhu, gotta show you the practice run
>can't communicate, mostly.
I always found it easier to communicate with people with social issues (SA, autism, etc) bu maybe i'm just a weirdo (probably that actually). I guess i just like english better than body language/romantic sign language.
>>17032900
>can't be bothered. There are plenty of guys out there that I don't have to wait around for.
This I can understand. It may be a cold day in hell before that anon gets that dude to ask her out.
>>17031752
Girls,
Is confidence really mostly all that is to it when a guy chats to a gal? As in, you could be literally almost anywhere (a coffee shop, library, pub, even just the street) and if a guy went up to you and started a casual conversation you think they wouldn't be a creep?
I'd love to try dating but my biggest issue is women thinking I'm a creep just for walking up to them and initiating a conversation.
>>17032964
Yea, that's pretty dense. Hopefully it's not that extreme. Thanks for the advice.
>>17032974
Ugh hate to admit it but you raise a good point. Sorry I should have clarified he worded it more as it's fine if you can't come but I hope you do. Either way, he sounds super unsure and it's confusing me and starting to get annoying.
>>17032984
>Most introverts are only boring around people they don't know very well. Isn't that common knowledge, really?
Introvert =/= shy. There are plenty of introverts out there who aren't shy and can actually hold a conversation and make an effort to socialise when they have to.
>>17032984
>It may be a cold day in hell before that anon gets that dude to ask her out.
top kek but yea that's why I feel like I'll have to do it even if it's just to get any sorta answer at all.
I get really rowdy when I've downed a few so I don't know if that intimidated him more.
>>17032997
Yea, I put shy and not introverted in my question because he talks a lot over text but like next to nothing irl.
>>17032988
>Is confidence really mostly all that is to it when a guy chats to a gal? As in, you could be literally almost anywhere (a coffee shop, library, pub, even just the street) and if a guy went up to you and started a casual conversation you think they wouldn't be a creep?
If that's what you think is meant by confidence, then no, no it fucking isn't.
>>17032988
i'd give you props for approaching me but personally i'm not really expecting to be approached. the only thing i can tell you is to pay attention to body language when you approach them.
>>17032526
Not him, but I'm a bitter, lonely, nice guy.. For real though.
>>17033012
Eesh, chill. Was only wondering how you can meet new people to possibly date.
>>17033014
Then I gotta wonder where/how you'd expect to meet new guys to date. Shit seems impossible.
>>17033025
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
>Anywhere outside. Or online.
Read the OP.
Ladies, I accidentally sent this
I realized it was retarded afterward. I see her in a few hours
How should I deal with the 'haha' ?
>>17033047
"i v damki!"
Guy for girl:
How to put a girl in her place when she tries to friendzone me? Is it better to be an all-out dick, just tease her and be distant, or just ignore her entirely?
clarification: I do not want to be friends, but I also gotta let her know I mean business while possibly getting her to reconsider my advances
>>17033056
What do you mean, 'put her in her place'? Why would you need to do this? If anything, she's put you in your place.
>>17033056
She's not gonna reconsider, you crazy whackadoodle.
>>17033047
Literally just send her the video
>>17032899
>>17032935
Yep, 21-year-old dude here too. Can confirm that some pretty bold moves are necessary, otherwise it's too easy to think:
>she did X, what does that mean exactly?
>does she fancy me?
>no dumbass, snap out of it, quit dreaming
>she can do 100x better than your fucked-up ass
>she's just being nice to the crazy guy
>and stop saying "fancy", you ain't british
Doubt i've missed any opportunities by now, but it is kind of funny that only girls have attempted to talk to me (not a single dude in 5+ years): always attributed it to higher statistical empathy among girls of my age and chosen field, but who knows.
>>17032935
>He rarely initiates conversation in real life or contact cept the day after we went drinking together he gave me a hug.
>feel like he avoids eye contact desu and the only time he actually held my gaze was the time we went drinking.
Yeah, that's crystal-clear. Keep going. Get him drunk more often.
>Like oh ya come if you can but it's okay if you can't or I don't know the exact details but if you wanna come etc.
Hedging: doesn't get too emotionally invested in the offer in case it's rejected (in which case it's then easier to pretend it doesn't hurt)
>Like if the gender roles were reversed I'd def be weirded out...
Take advantage of this, it's not every day a double standard turns out to be useful!
>>17033008
>he talks a lot over text but like next to nothing irl
Another classic sign. For example, there are more words in this post than i've spoken in 2 weeks. How wide is the difference for him?
>>17033014
>pay attention to body language when you approach them
Curious about this, what signs indicate "approachable"?
>>17033086
if she's not otherwise engaged or has headphones on. better if shes looking around or makes eye contact.
>>17033082
I think that way sometimes too but at one point you gotta realize the girl is legit interested right? I'll probably have to up the ante but I don't want to be too bold and scare the guy.
>Get him drunk more often.
That's gonna be hard to do since getting him to come out that one time was already a struggle.
>Hedging
Didn't know there was a term for it.
>it's not every day a double standard turns out to be useful!
Haha, that is true.
>How wide is the difference for him?
Just checked. He writes in 400-500 word chunks at a time. Said probably less than that face to face in the last two weeks.
>>17033062
let her know she fucked up and not cooperate by being passive-aggressive and abrasive.
honey, she hasn't put me in the friendzone if i refuse to be her friend.
But I can put her in the "you're just not worth it" camp, how can I do this with best results to get her to just feel shitty about herself when she's around me?
>>17033109
This is probably exactly why she put you in the friendzone, you nutjob.
>>17033109
>let her know she fucked up and not cooperate by being passive-aggressive and abrasive.
How has she fucked up
>honey, she hasn't put me in the friendzone if i refuse to be her friend.
Yes she has. If you're nothing more than a friend to her, then you're in the friendzone. It's not a matter of whether you're actually friends with her, it's a matter of whether she sees you as anything more than a friend.
>But I can put her in the "you're just not worth it" camp, how can I do this with best results to get her to just feel shitty about herself when she's around me?
But she is worth it. If you didn't think so, you wouldn't be so assmad that she's not dating you. You sound like a complete nutter
>>17033116
well, this is how it went:
1st week, broke the ice a couple times with her, she was comfortable enough to ask me for help with work since she joined my department.
Cool. Noticed she was super friendly with another guy who worked NEXT to his current gf. >ha, no biggee I got this.
made her laugh, got closer, she asked me stuff about myself but fairly distant. Offer to take break with her one day(we take breaks at different regular times)
>too fast too soon
wait a few days.
Tell her I'm bringing her some of my cooking since she always seems hungry still after lunch.
She's cool with it.
Day of, she's acting a little bitchy towards me, barely compliments the cooking, and impatient when I was heating up the food. Didn't even get a good conversation out of her.
Tell her to take the rest, there was a ton extra, she ends up not eating it or taking it home at all.
Meanwhile, her other "friend"'s girlfriend leaves the job, he's always hitting on her. He essentially replaces his old gf with her, and now she only talks to him.
So I'm the asshole how?
>>17033136
I don't see anything she did wrong. She wasn't interested in you, she was interested in the other guy. That's not a crime, and you don't have first dibs on her just because you talked to her first.
>>17033136
you sound like an entitled fuckboy
>>17033144
>going for guy that already has gf
>being unappreciative of kindness
>acting like a stuck up Kristen Stewart doing me a favor
She was interested in me, but made some side observations about me that were unfair towards me, small attacks towards my self-confidence which were out of the blue and unfounded. It was like, I could had her if I played a perfect game, but who the fuck is perfect? The guy with a girlfriend already? fuck that.
>>17032407
My gf of 5 years still won't tell me her kinks, I know she has them but also not to press her. Sigh the only time she came close was once describing herself masturbating to the thought of me tied up with her in complete control. The scenario she described turned me on more than I've been for years but I fear I fumbled it because she clammed up again. So frustrating.
>>17033158
If you don't even like her, why do you care that she's not dating you?
>>17033151
meanwhile she expected me to bring her a mocha everyday just because I shared with her a couple of times.
without saying good morning, the first words out of her mouth was asking if I had some mocha.
>>17033183
I need a guy like you in my life. Someone who'll do what I ask them to do.
>>17033167
she's challenged me, I guess.
Idk, I'm used to being upfront with people and I can't even tell her what my borders are. Even now that we aren't talking, it bothers me that she constantly talks to the other guy around me. So she's baiting me, and I'm going to figure out a way to let her know that's not going to fly (hopefully without getting fired)
>>17033204
What, you're going to show her how butthurt you are?
>>17033136
>Tell her I'm bringing her some of my cooking since she always seems hungry still after lunch.
>Day of, she's acting a little bitchy towards me, barely compliments the cooking, and impatient when I was heating up the food. Didn't even get a good conversation out of her.
>Tell her to take the rest, there was a ton extra, she ends up not eating it or taking it home at all.
There was some dumb TV show where one of the male characters was accused of "hostile niceness," and now I kind of get it.
Like, you act like you were doing her a favor or doing something nice for her, but it came with all this weird pressure attached, and she didn't even ask for the "favor" in the first place.
It's hard to nail down, but everything about your post just comes off manipulative and creepy. Don't do "nice" things just because you're expecting a certain reaction or getting something in return, it's not actually nice, and most people see right through that shit.
>>17033194
The problem is, I love giving too much. I've learned to hold back, but usually I overdo it, and girls tend to take advantage. I'm at the point where I am okay finding a girl like you who doesn't mind the occasional servitude
how do you show you care about someone?
>>17033204
>So she's baiting me
Or maybe it isn't about you AT ALL, and she's trying to do her own thing independent of your plans and desires
>I'm going to figure out a way to let her know that's not going to fly
SHE DOES NOT WANT YOU. She doesn't care if "it's going to fly" or not. And she's your fucking coworker, man. Don't make things weird at work, potentially damaging your own career, just because you can't take a hint. Just move the fuck on. For your own sake, if not hers.
>Girl A
I really like this girl. She's soft spoken, polite, introverted, we share all the same hobbies and passions for life. I asked her out a few months ago and was politely turned down, "I'm not ready to date right now due to issues at home", no biggie. I moved on. I'm attracted to the "wifeness" of Girl A.
>Girl B
Polar opposite of me. Very extroverted, forthcoming and open, has no secrets. Is a little unstable but a very nice person. I'm lustfully attracted to Girl B. I am currently seeing Girl B and have for two months.
Girl A contacted me this morning asking me to coffee. She apologized for turning me down, she really just wasn't ready. I'm starting to get feelings again but I
a) don't want to let Girl B down
b) don't want to be "that guy" who breaks Girl B's heart
c) Not the kind of guy to give second chances
Do I abandon ship and seek out Girl A or stick with Girl B? Maybe meet Girl A for coffee and see how it goes, then decide? Do I need to tell Girl B this?
>>17033212
I direct my attentions to the source of my frustrations, and yes my feelings were hurt.
>>17033214
i see, but the issue isn't I expected anything in return. I was happy to just do it, but she didn't even give me that by being a butt the whole time.
she purposely acted stuck up because I was being nice.
There wasn't pressure to do anything from my end, if there was it was in her head and if it bothered her she should've just declined it or talked about it with me. like "hey, so i hope you dont expect me to cook for you" or "so whats the catch?"
you know, like a respectable person
What are some things that the opposite sex might do subconsciously that drives you wild?
Everyone finds something a little different, it's interesting to me.
>>17033298
men rolling up their sleeves. doing something skillful with their hands, an actual mechanical skill.
>>17033310
nifty keyboard work doesn't cut it?
>>17033313
not unless you're typing haskell, punk. learn yourself a skill, it's hot.
For guys
If a guy replies regularly but starts replying less frequently what does it mean?
>>17033322
I only do this when there's too little back and forth. I might ask questions, get one word responses, then draw a blank on how to continue. If the conversation is organic it'll keep going; it's a team effort.
>>17033322
It means that you're a moron who thinks that random strangers on the internet know what your guy is thinking.
>>17033327
Idk we're writing a lot. It's actually the opposite where it's an effort to reply to everything.
>>17033224
yeah yeah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzBnFutegJE
>>17033317
>Meme language. I suppose at least it's not scheme.
Functional programming is such an attractive idea, even fun to play with, but try and do anything useful and you realise it scales worse than python.
>>17033109
>let her know she fucked up
Sounds like she dodged a bullet
What are some skanky clothing items that most guys find really sexy on the same level as knee high socks?
>>17033416
Garter belt
I like it when a girl wears a button down thing with nothing underneath.
>>17033416
Any top that shows a lot of side boob.
Mini skirts
Booty shorts with just a little bit of ass cheek hanging out
Yoga pants showin da camel
>>17032915
>Guys:rate how much vagina size matters 1-10
0
She hasn't replied.
Should I just give up and move on?
>>17033230
I wouldnt put a lot of faith into that first girl. She didnt say she changed her mind, she's still not on the market. If she says otherwise maybe then it'll be worth talking about, but I see no reason to stop seeing the second girl.
so i kidnapped a butterfly.
i put in a dress and put makeup on it.
but its still a butterfly.
times were tough so i made the butterfly take jobs in hollywood.
now the butterfly is president of Nicaragua, and has killed many millions of people.
i tried to stop it by saying "no butterfly president! no! you no do that!" but butterfly sent assassins after me.
so my question is:
do ladies like it when you present them with flowers.
thank u for ur time.
>>17033484
Well you said yourself she should contact you if she's bored to death. Dont expect response because you wrote text that doesnt demand any inmediate response.
>>17033530
I guess.
I did some research though, and sociologists that study electronic communication state if someone doesn't get back to you within 24 hours, it means they probably won't get back to you.
I was just expecting a "yeah I remember you, but I'm busy with xyz at the moment, well catch up when I can" type of thing.
I think silence pretty much means she doesn't care at all; is that silence female for "fuck you" or "you don't matter"?
>>17031752
All I want from my life is to work 10 hours a day making money to support a girl and let her live a life of comfort and leisure. Is there such a thing as a girl who actually wants this? I know most would find it creepy.
Dear straight men, do women have any value outside of their vaginas and tits? Men have asses too, so that's null. t. A gay male who works with women every day.
>>17033605
No. no one as any value, men or women or whatever. We're all just worthless bags of meat and bones heading towards our destruction.
>>17033605
Depends, often entirely on what kind of relationship.
>>17033605
i really like the hand writing of most women. cursive or printed, it doesnt matter. it usually looks really nice compared to mens writing.
i can also talk to them about womanly stuff like cooking and cleaning and gardening, while if i tried to talk to that stuff to men, i would get weird looks.
they are also fantastic to go shopping with. i am terrible at knowing what looks nice and what doesnt look nice when buying gifts for relatives and friends (i wear clothes that i like, and i know my style isnt for everyone), and women in my opinion are a lot more blunt and clear with what looks nice and what looks terrible. also i cant go shopping with men, its just weird.
they also make the area smell nice (granted they dont go swimming in their perfume/lotion)
>>17031752
Girls: When's the best time to go for a kiss?
I ask cause there's this girl I know who's open to the idea of me, we've made out once before, but I'm too hesitant to try anything again in case it's the wrong mood or something.
Guys. How would you feel if your girl spontaneously started being naked around the house?
>>17033650
I wouldnt mind it but I'd wonder why she made the overnight change.
>>17033605
A lot of women are neato. It's easier to talk to them about more personal stuff usually, and I can talk to them about certain topics my guy friends are usually ignorant about. I'm only on close terms with 3 of them discounting family, but I definitely benefit having them in my life.
>>17033650
I'd probably bend her over the kitchen table. Usually when she starts doing shit like that, like pretending to struggle at pulling up her yoga pants or bouncing in place without a bra trying to reach something on the top shelf she knows she can't get to, it means she's looking for a borderline rape-dicking.
>>17033605
>Dear straight men, do women have any value outside of their vaginas and tits?
Yup. About the same value men have.
>>17033650
>Guys. How would you feel if your girl spontaneously started being naked around the house?
I'd assume she wanted me to bend her over some surface right then and there. I know pretty much exactly what she'd say: In a half coy tone: "Oh, What's this? What? What are you doing? Oh, where's that going?"
