How are you today?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
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Terrible. I lost someone close to me because I can't control my emotions
Not well. This girl I've been seeing stopped talking to me today. I'm afraid its because I'm a weird bundle of anxiety. :/
Hopeless in despair. I've been improving my life, quit smoking, trying new things, yet I'm still alone.
>>17021294
Unexpected events made my life even better
Bout to watch some Rokka and eat this dominos gettin' my grub on
>>17021305
>>17021307
What happened?
>>17021314
Congrats on quitting smoking, that is something to be incredibly proud of. I wish I was an expert on ending loneliness but I'm kind of in the same boat myself. All I can say is if you keep at it with trying different things - and more importantly, make an effort to meet people at times - your situation will not be permanent.
>>17021320
What happened to make your life better?
>>17021314
Big ups on quitting, though bud. I'm chomping on a fat wad of nicorette rn lol.
>>17021353
I don't know. She ignored my text and usually never does that. I might be overthinking it but I really like this girl. I'm afraid its because I haven't fucked her yet/she's losing interest/is starting to catch on to my horrible drinking habits/all of the above/etc. How are you doing?
>>17021353
Ended a failing relationship and that released a lot of stress
Got a brand new PS Vita for $80
Life is just pretty good right now, the only stress I have now is uni homework and that's pretty easy
>>17021366
You might be overthinking it a bit. The beginning of any relationship is usually kinda messy and some head games are usually involved, though not always. Short term, the best you can do is keep at it until you have a really good reason to believe it's over. Long term, work on dealing with your insecurities so they don't impede your ability to have a healthy relationship.
>How are you doing?
I've had better days, but I'll be OK.
>>17021377
It's always great to let go of a toxic relationship. A lot of people won't do this and it fucks them up long term.
Lol how is the Vita? I hear mixed things about it, the store I work at stopped carrying them because of their bad sales but I've never experienced one hands on.
>>17021391
It takes experience to know when to leave a toxic relationship, a lot of people don't have it.
Vita is really great if you like Japanese games. Its my second one to replace the first one because I left the screen on a static image and it burned in slightly. Its not really noticeable during game play but just enough to annoy me knowing its there.
Sad then pisst
I couldnt cry about it
I'm bleh today. Like everyday. I can't wait for the week to start so it can end already. I miss my bf and he's across an ocean from me. I'm depressed and I keep thinking that bottle of pain killers would have killed me, and I just can't wait for school to be over this semester.
And I keep wishing the bottle of pain killers*
I like these kinds of threads because it makes you feel like someone cares about your feelings even though we're all complete strangers to each other. I really need that now
>>17021353
I've been unable to control my anger for the last month and she left me and replaced me almost immediately. We were really happy at one point.
>>17021445
Its kind of weird to be one of the few happy people on /adv/
What's eating you?
>>17021451
Nothing new, just what everyone else here feels; depressed.
>>17021422
Could be experience, or just knowing boundaries
Never played Japanese games, I've always been a filthy casual lol..
>>17021426
Couldn't cry about it?
>>17021439
How long will he be so far away from you? And when/why did you try to kill yourself?
>>17021445
I made this thread because I just realized that not a single person in my entire personal life really cares about my emotional health or well-being, not even family members. It's not the saddest thing to happen, and others have been in my shoes or worse but....I wanted to provide to people what's never provided to me: somebody who'll listen, pay attention and show interest in them, regardless of their emotional state.
>>17021449
How long were the two of you together? I'm sorry about your loss my man...
>>17021461
I thought I was depressed for a while
Turns out I'm just emotionally sensitive and really negatively affected by toxic people to the point I start internalizing their issues
>>17021294
>>17021294
Trying to improve my personality, I want stop thinking about getting a GF and focus on my studies to be somebody, trying to get a part-time job and wishing get out my depression and my low self esteem 18 years...and completely useless
Depressed and anxious.
Also stuck between names for my Dark Souls 3 characters when it comes out.
>>17021487
You've got time my friend, I was in a similar spot at your age. Just keep at it, get your job, do well in school, etc. and don't give up at the first sign of trouble. You will make it, I believe in you.
>>17021480
>Turns out I'm just emotionally sensitive and really negatively affected by toxic people to the point I start internalizing their issues
That's an interesting way of viewing things. How exactly do you define 'toxic' people?
>>17021476
A year. It was a LDR but since it's almost our vacation again and we could've been together again and it hurt even more. I wish I was nicer to her, and I could've been close to her more often. I know LDRs are no good but I never learn
>>17021476
Until mid June. It's not much but I miss him so much. I attempted suicide in an airport bathroom by overdose in mid February after having an abortion. I couldn't go back to my family after doing what I did. They were so happy. I was alone and hated by my boyfriend at the moment since he left me at the airport after a huge argument. So I just did it. I even wrote a suicide note for him. It's so weird reading it afterwards.
>>17021476
Same. I try to make the people I care about to be happy and I like being nice to people because I want people to treat me the same. Up till now I'm still waiting for things to turn around and for someone to do the same to me.
Feel Like shit. Talking to a girl for the past several months through text but we live in different countries. We have feeling for eachother but we both agreed that long distance doesn't work,and we had plans to meet this summer after school. She recently started talking to a psych and they brought up bpd, which is accurate but still didn't sit well with her. She said she was moving to France (impulsivity is a symptom) but she was very calm about it unlike other outbursts. We got into it because that meant we wouldn't meet which she brought up and I was really looking forward to so I was crushed. She thought I was upset because I couldn't fuck her but I really care about her a lot, but her last relationship was an abusive one. I thought it was over but we talked the next day and I got the feeling that it wasn't, unfortunately she isn't replying to what I send her but she reads everything. This sucks because I realized I could be a lot more patient and understanding but she thinks it's fucked. I'm just going to have to give her time but hopefully this will work out and we can make eachother happy again. This sucks
>>17021510
I did the LDR thing once, had a similar outcome. After she took out all of her pent up emotional pain and frustration on me, being the doormat I was at the time, she ran off into the arms of some other dude and has been with him ever since. I don't miss her at all, but the experience I had and the way she treated me when I went out to see her are things I'll never forget.
>I wish I was nicer to her
Sometimes we realize we take people for granted or aren't as nice to them as we feel we could be, but don't beat yourself up forever over it. How old are you, btw?
>>17021511
What was the argument about? I'm sorry to hear all of this.
>>17021480
I also think like this, that I'm not really depressed and I'm just having a bad time in my life. But idk man it's been months already and it's getting worse. I might be inflicting this unto myself because I depend too much to people who are important to me to help me get better. And also, my family has a history of mental disorder so I may possibly be clinically depressed
>>17021513
I hear you 100%. I used to spend many nights up late talking to people and being there for them. Recently however people are all too busy to talk to me or not interested in my time. So that's cool, I guess, but I really should find other people at some point....
>>17021518
I understand 100% why it sucks for you right now. When it gets built up like that and you think something is gonna happen and it..doesn't.
It sounds to me like she is not in the proper head space to have a relationship with you. Believe me when I say that you're usually better off being with somebody who can appreciate you when you want to be with them, who won't take you for granted, who won't let prior relationship trauma get in the way of their feelings for you.
I'm wary of her accusing you of wanting sex though, as if this is a bad thing. I mean, sex is a given desire when somebody is romantically interested, so when women say this it sounds like they're intentionally driving up a wall between themselves and the guy in question. Either because of a lack of trust, personal insecurity, or something else...but it's almost never good.
Used to have a migraine disorder. Its been gone since I was 16. It just came back, and I've had non stop migraines for days. So not great.
Well he gave me his apartment keys when he left me at the abortion clinic for a blood draw. Basically, I was running for my life to his apartment (had to take a train back but his apartment is about 10 minute walk from the station) and I got there just in time before he did since he was at work. Phone didnt work for some reason. Anyway, he thought I locked him out when I actually was waiting for him to come to the elevator, he just took another way up. I ran up when I noticed this. Opened the door and he walked in furious telling me "It's over!". Abortion talk came up, told me how stupid I sounded when I would call these people for an appointment, How I did eveything wrong. Just every insult he could throw at me. Even said that I killed this baby just so I could stay with him(when this was his idea). I screamed at him for the first time to shut up because I couldn't take it anymore. On the way to the aiport he dropped the bomb on me and said he really doesn't want a latina bitch like me carrying his child, so I just decided I was going to overdose and just be found dead. Since then I've been indiferent about everything.
>>17021570
For your own sake I think you should leave him. I read your whole story not sure what to say until I got to the last part, but this isn't the type of relationship you wanna stay in. That bit about you being a 'latina bitch' is just all kinds of awful.
>>17021569
I haven't ever heard of that, but I'm really sorry you are in so much pain right now
>>17021503
I hate using the word toxic to describe people, its really SJW-tier but I just used it because it was in that post
Basically, its anyone who is:
depressed, irresponsible, abusive, manipulative, suicidal, or just really angry people
>>17021532
>I depend too much to people
Stop that
>>17021570
I wish you realized you're giving him control over how you feel. He's not worth it. He is not worth even a single thought from you.
I wish you nothing but the best of luck.
>>17021616
I'm starting to. And I'm also trying to avoid relationships as much while I'm still unstable. I don't want to burden people I love
I feel like I want to die.
Newly single, out of a 3 year relationship that was going amazing for a while, ending on an awful note and a lot of fucked up shits happened. I lost my job and I'm extremely fucked, I feel partially stressed but like I'm still in denial. And to top it all off I got turned down by another girl. And am continuing to fail at meeting them. I have no friends either. I want to die. I really have nothing to live for. At all.
nothing matters and all of life is easy
>>17021650
Don't define yourself with gay terms like unstable and burden
I'm very unhappy with myself.
I know my self-esteem is the main problem but self-acceptance seems impossible when my body is so gross. Nobody would like me if they knew what I looked like under my clothes.
>>17021616
About over half those kinds of people you just listed were sadly friends of mine. Thank god I've left all those shitheads behind since. However, since then, I've never been able to make any new friends. Every attempt has failed in a huge way. Long story short, I feel lonely as hell and know somehow no one wants to be around me and I hate my life.
I've been having tremendous trouble functioning lately. My mood changes like a traffic light, and my thoughts are all scattered and fragmented.
If my withdrawals don't get better by the 14th, I'm gonna start smoking again.
lost...
Got fired the other day from a decent job working with my dad. Things there were tense cuz he was starting a new business I was driving forklift. Things were fine for the most part. Few mistakes learning the job etc good moments too. Then I made a mistake that could of killed me so he sent me walking telling me it's time for me to do my own thing. Thing is he still really wants me to work there. I was a team player, hard worker, quick thinker. I'm 22 years old and know way too much about life call it family dna but dropping acid and doing mushrooms last year tells you a lot about what's going on and what happens when we "die" but that's that....
the time is Now and I need a fucking job.
I have a few years in manual labor / customer service. Going job hunting tomorrow. Got a few leads on two forklift jobs or other jobs. Not sure what to do exactly. Very nervous about getting a job. I have enough money to get me until the end of next month not working one day even tho I have contacts for yard work.
FFS I keep beating myself up for simply existing and making young mans mistakes and it's not doing me any good. I need to give myself more love support and kindness. as a kid I was whipped by a step bro and that fucked me pyschologically for a long time so self love is very hard for me it makes me want to cry thinking about it.. That impacts the relationships that I have with other people. Tryin to find the balance...
Thanks for letting me vent. God damn I need a job and am nervous about paying the bills.
>>17021669
To add to this, I find it really hard to cry about much of anything. Even if I hear something horrible, I feel appropriately sad, but I can hardly ever show it any other way. God, I'm a lonely asshole mess.
>>17021669
no one wants to be around you cuz they can't be around themselves? it's not you. I have reached out to friends before and we chill its great they love hanging out. but then I do my own thing and never hear from them...
You're existing. That's all you need to focus on. You deserve life. Hate or love your life. Keep eating Anon
>>17021675
Meanwhile, on the topic of brothers, both of them are pricks and one of them living in Colorado threatened to jail our mother for taking care of their baby while they were in a financial crisis last year during Christmas. And then they drove down here in Arizona and fucking had a squad car with them for the exchange of the baby, and then the cop called them out (rightfully so) for the father calling her a cunt who couldn't do her job. So there's that. Fucking Christ.
>>17021651
Where did you work? And how did that relationship end that made it so awful?
>>17021665
All I can really say about body image issues is that you have to do what makes you feel happy. I'm not against being healthy but I think people take it to too far of an extreme sometimes. That said, paying attention to what I eat has helped a lot, and there are foods that can make you feel crappy. Once you feel crappy because of some greasy pizza or high-sodium processed food, you start seeing things with a more negative lens --> possible lowered self esteem.
>>17021670
Hang in there man, smoking is more trouble than it's worth. Not to mention expensive.
>>17021616
Makes sense. How do you define 'depressed' though? Clinically or severely depressed, or simply that kind of "depression" people talk about when they really mean typical stress and upset feelings?
>>17021703
And... Okay, I guess. It's hard as hell. But I'll try.
>>17021712
My weight isn't the issue.
>>17021675
>Thanks for letting me vent. God damn I need a job and am nervous about paying the bills.
Sure. I'm particularly acquainted with this feeling of needing money so I can pay off shit. I moved out 4 years ago and haven't looked back since but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a struggle and money is the last thing I want to stress out over. Seriously.
>>17021708
What a bunch of assholes. Fuck them.
>>17021669
>Long story short, I feel lonely as hell and know somehow no one wants to be around me and I hate my life.
Similar boat here my friend. Hard to function sometimes when you realize how little you're cared about. I see all these people enjoying fulfilling social and romantic lives and I just sit back and watch in envy. It's like a club I will never be able to enter.
>>17021716
What's the issue then? And I'm sorry for making assumptions.
>>17021546
When she was in good moods she was great and things between us were amazing, talking almost all day, sharing things like dreams and insecurities, I hadn't felt a connection like this in a long time. And I have some psychological issues of my own (bipolar II) so I should be really more understanding, that's why i feel so bad. I also don't want her to go through it alone, really all her issues are directed at herself. I hate that all I can do is wait, there is way too much a connection between us for it to just die in one night.
i'm
>>17021518
>>17021669
>>17021693
>>17021708
Sorry for flooding the thread, I need to learn to type everything I need to say in one post. Plus I really need to get this out. The entirety of last year was spent on a "girlfriend" who turned out to be jailbait and I stupidly kept the relationship going until I felt like an immoral shitbag. My god, I hate all this...
>>17021733
I agree. I hope those two fuckers die the most brutal way possible.
>>17021743
Nobody's perfect, and it's really great that you want to be there for her and be the best you can for her. That said....
If she doesn't want to weather storms with you and just pushes you away, you have to re-evaluate your attachment to her and whether or not you want to stay, IMO.
I had fun with my friends today, but literally every other aspect of my life is in shambles.
I want out.
I don't think I'll commit suicide but if someone else was in my shoes they might
>>17021733
yeah dude. i don't get the concept of money. i mean sure its a unifier that we can all get behind. but really? it also is a huge divider of classes. like really do we have to pay for our existence? wtf. The brain needs to think about being stable in other ways and when you throw money into the equation well.....
>>17021754
Don't kill yourself. Never think that way. Being a suicidal person myself and fighting it day after day, it's never worth it in the end. Ever.
>>17021764
Don't worry, I don't feel suicidal.
I just kinda feel empty. I don't care enough to go through the trouble. Certainly not to hurt my parents.
I just want to have a job that pays the bills. Everything else can be fixed. I can't find one though.
I got fired for such a bullshit reason. I'm going to be homeless in a few months. I should worry but I don't. I just feel like drinking more. So I do. And I shitpost here
>>17021754
i've thought about this.
the only reason i don't is cuz death to me is only a temporary relief. like you get to take a breath before getting born again sort of thing...
I would kill myself too if if I didn't believe energy is neither created nor destroyed...
Life is a lie look at all the others who feeel its not so good. the ones that fake it on the outside are just as fucked as us.
>>17021771
I wouldn't consider writing your feelings shitposting, here. Listen, no matter what happens, shit'll get better. It might not happen fast, but everything comes up aces in the end. Which is hypocritical of me to say, given how little faith I have in myself, but it's true.
>>17021771
File for unemployment comp.
If your reason was really bullshit, they won't want to go to court and fight you as it's a pain. (Your employer has to, to dispute that you were fired and not laid off.)
It can't hurt.
>>17021740
Body acne over my back and arms, and pectus excavatum.
I'm literally deformed. It's humiliating and the surgery costs too much to think about.
>>17021712
The second one
The first one is just a marketing conspiracy to get you addicted to pharmaceuticals
>>17021294
I can't stop thinking about stabbing my mother in the throat.
I hate her so much. I know she gave birth to me. I know she raised me. I know she fed me. I know she changed my diapers. I know she loves me, I know she'd do anything for me because she's that kind of person. She's a sweet, thoughtful, loving, considerate person.
It's that aspect of her I hate the most. I haven't lived with my parents in over 5 years now, but I still keep thinking about killing her, regularly. I've become adept at coming up with excuses not to see her whenever she offers to come see me.
But it means nothing. I've never loved her. Who am I kidding, I've never loved anyone. I see nothing to admire in her, I've always just thought of her whole existence as an annoyance. I learned nothing from her. Anything she tried to teach me as an adult I realized was complete falsehood. She always cried those crocodile tears about how my father used to beat her or how her life was so difficult or how she had so much to deal with; all the while I just think of what a pathetic person she is, how she tried to raise me to be just pathetic, it's hard not to grin imagining those crocodile tears turning red while I gouge her eyes out.
I don't want to resort to murder, but I really hate having to pretend I love her as a son.
>>17021778
Aces, maybe not, but maybe Jacks or 10s.
I'm getting older than I want to be.
I had a period of serious depression that pretty much ruined my life. I got over it.
This is another bump in the road.
I'm just so tired of living on scraps. Living minimum wage jobs and scraping enough to live.
I had a job for a brief time that paid well. I could be a real person. Buy things because I wanted to.
I've been doing shit like wash dishes for 15 years. I'm so tired.
This is going to sound conceited as hell, but I'm better than this. I was salutatorian in HS. I graduated university with a 3.99 GPA. And that was when I was depressed and doing the minimum.
I'm smart. I'm capable. I'm honest. There is not a job in the world I cannot master in a month.
But the one real job I had I got laid off because they were downsizing. Despite the fact that I made my unit the fucking most efficient in the department. I was friendly. Everyone loved me. But I was new so they cut me.
I'm just so tired of trying so hard and getting nothing.
>>17021786
I'm filing now. I should get it. If they ever fucking submit my ROE
I was laid off because the assistant director is a retard who is trying to cut costs. They were undermanned even when I was employed. They broke the union rules when they fired me. I'm talking to the union now but that takes weeks
I just want to live a stable life.
>>17021811
Goddamn... And here I sit bitching about my shit. I've been so used to thinking no one gives a shit that I think everyone is just trying to be nice to me. Meanwhile, there's people like you genuinely struggling. Once again, I fucked up. I post here, where no one knows nothing about anyone, and I feel the eyes over my shoulder... Don't be like me. Do your absolute best, and don't settle for anything that isn't. Don't obsess over it, but always strive for that perfection. Long story short, don't be a lazy shit like me who bitches about his life when it could be so much worse...
>>17021827
Hey man, never doubt your problems.
If you feel like shit, it's as important to you as anything is to me.
The truth of the matter is that every man lives his own life and everyone is essentially alone in it.
If you think you have problems, then it's the only real problems in the world.
>>17021836
...That's a really sound mindset. Also, I didn't mean to put "I feel the eyes over my shoulder" at first. It was a quote from a visual novel I read a long time ago I really relate to, chaos;HEAD. Sometimes I say it without even meaning to. I guess it's nothing to worry about and it doesn't matter, though. But you're absolutely right, though...
>>17021794
wtf dude
crocodile tears? you're fucking delusional.
she was opening her heart to you. and you're just a closed off idiot who can't realize the sacrifice she was making for you by being nice to you. at least you posted you're honest opinion about the situation and I bet it made you feel good for it didn't it??
>>17021861
His level of hatred for his mother is about the level of hatred I have for my brothers. So I could probably relate there, as... intense as it may be.
>>17021861
this is me, to add on to this. if you hate your mom so much go be alone and see how the rest of the world goes about it's day.
giving myself distance from my mom who gave me so much was the best thing that I've done. She didn't do everything right for me but she cares for me and she deserve my respect.
me and girl were fucking
>cut things off
>was more sad than her and dealt with it hard but moved on
>few weeks later she sends me a snapchat of her naked in front of a mirror saying "nobody fucked me from behind like u"
>whatdidshemeanbythis.webm
>next day text her "are we fucking again or what"
>responds 2 hours later saying its not a good idea
what the fuck man, why would she send me that snapchat?? i don't get it. now i'm mad as fuck at myself for giving her validation. i want to delete her off my snapchat
>>17021794
I was belittled a lot as a child. My mom didn't care if I was upset, she wasn't interested in me if I cried about something, and she thought my interests and passions in life were stupid, even going so far as telling me to "get a life" a couple of times because of what I took interest in.
If your mom really loves you that much, then you're very fortunate. Not all moms are like this.
>>17021867
are your bros nice or assholes tho?
>>17021881
I will refer you to this post I made, so you can get the scale of their bullshit: >>17021708
Well, I need to hit the road. Hopefully I might get some sleep tonight... Please have a good night's rest, and a great day tomorrow, all. Keep positive, stay safe, don't take shit from anyone, and keep yourselves in a healthy mindset...
>>17021887
so your hatred is legit and the other person is childish/psychopathic should get some mental help. well I'm glad that you can relate to the other person
>>17021877
i've slowly realized over the years my mother is essentially very good at manipulating men. this is her only real talent, effectively. well, that and lying. she's a great liar, it took me many years to realize almost everything she said to me was a lie. i spent 19 years with this woman observing everything about her. I don't know how to say it, I feel like if I'm a heartless bastard then she truly helped to craft me. all I ever observed from her is how petty people operate. They beg. They cry. They have no ground on reason. They're incapable of learning. They never run out of excuses. They're incapable of bettering themselves, except with someone elses' help. And then when they've exhausted their use, she disposes of them. I don't even think that bitch can feel love, the only reason she's so desperate for me to feed her attention is for her own empty ego.
I've told my mother hundreds of times in life the nicest thing she could do for me is leave me alone. She can't even fucking do that.
my mother taught me that every single success in my life belongs to me and me alone, because she certainly as fuck never showed me how to actually succeed in this world. I believe this generation of males has a single mother problem, we will by far have the highest spike in sociopathy and psychopathic tendencies in history, single mothers are to blame when their son's start to see through their bullshit.
>>17021861
>>17021867
>>17021870
yes it feels nice to be able to just say how i feel sometimes. again i've not lived with my parents for years. really, i don't see my mother as a respectable woman. i doubt i ever will. i don't really respect either of them. i'm quite fond of stefan molyneuaxs ideology that it's perfectly natural, and very mentally healthy for some people to completely cut off contact with their family of origin.
telling your psychotherapist your fantasies about murdering your parents is a good way to get tossed into the psych ward or jail these days.
>>17021908
Anon, this experience has made you a better person. It's made you stronger, kinder, and better able to recognize the behaviors that ordinary people so often miss. Remember that. Learn to get in touch with your emotions and with those of the people around you. Really start to understand the empathetic connections you can form with others. In time, your wounds will heal.
>>17021794
>I really hate having to pretend I love her as a son.
You don't have to pretend, you know. Just make sure you've got your thoughts and emotions in order, that you've thought through this for a good long time, with some distance between you two, before telling her how you feel.
And never give in to the violent thoughts, anon. Always fight them. Throw them out of your head, they don't belong there. Understand that people can't always change who they are: you just have to accept their flaws. Learn to accept your mother's issues and what she did for/to you, because you can't change it now. Next time she offers to visit, accept. Talk to her and try to reconcile your past as best you can, while there's still time.
I feel uneasy.
Like everything in my life is completely off. I don't know why, but I feel like I ruined something and I've let it stay in ruin.
>>17021294
Terrible. I'm always sad and angry and guilty for being angry and even angrier for being guilty. And I'm lonely. And I can't take interest in anything anymore. And I'm afraid of dying, but it's also the only thing I can think of all the time. I wish it could all just stop for a bit and let me catch up, but life doesn't work that way.
>>17021670
You get over an addiction by replacing it with something else. Trust me.
Every now and again, with every board hop, you realize that this is a place for manchildren.
And you wonder how the fuck you got here.
>>17021872
Bitches mang.
I'm tired.
I just can't stay asleep for longer than 6 hours. People tell me if you had enough sleep then it's fine. But I feel tired throughout the day and I get irritated.
I'm more or less upset that I'm in a foreign country to teach english, and even the other english speaking folks here don't want to do things with me.
Normal, like the other days. I've avoiding college stuff this week though, I'm starting to think that this career maybe it's not for me but maybe I'm just a lazyass.
Feel shitty today. My job barely pays me, I'm slowly failing uni because I keep procrastinating. Plus, now I feel that no one will ever love me. Because there's always this set of expectations. I have to have a job, I have to take initiative, I have to be responsible, I have to be in shape,I have to fix problems, I am not allowed to feel sad, I am not allowed to feel tired, I am not allowed to feel emotional, I have to I have to I have to... I'm always at fault, I always 'ruin everything'. C'mon, I already cry every day, what do you even want from me? It hurts to be alone so bad, but each time I reach out it's even worse. Why am I treated as if I'm dysfunctional? WHy do they always laugh at me?
>>17021294
I don't have to go into work today, but it's the only way I will get any better. My supervisor is the only reason I'm reconsidering staying home. I wish he'd treat me like a person.
I recently found out the girl i was madly in love with before, actually was shit. I'm glad I'm over her.
I'm exhausted. My boyfriend, who was my only friend, left me last week. He couldn't really explain how he was feeling and gave me a thousand excuses, but I've figured it out. I know him all too well. He wants to be friends, and I accepted that but now I'm met with silence. I absolutely adore this man, and I shouldn't. I hate being lied to. I have been giving him the time he needs to think, and putting myself at ease with alcohol and anxiety meds. All of my attention has been on him and I am emotionally drained, receiving no comfort in return. His ability to argue with reason and integrity has been ruined by another female friend of his, who constantly picked and nagged at everything he said. I'm afraid that my methods of dealing with this will be too passive and he will get bored and leave me behind. If that's true, then he was never mine. No matter how much he may have loved me, he was only here because she was not. I was the distraction I warned him I would be, and now all I can do is accept my mistake. He's struggling in life and I want nothing but the best for him; if that doesn't include me, so be it. I just hope he doesn't look back on me as nothing but a stepping stone to happiness.
It feels good to write this.
My girlfriend lost romantic feelings for me, it was horrible, we broke up.
We just had 7 months but she was my first in everything so I am experiencing some world shattering feels, am I a pussy?
>>17021294
My wife told me that I'm on her nerves enough to cause a potential split in our relationship because I said "This is the fifth time I've been sick this year. If it's because of *kid's name* I'm tossing him out." Shit you literally cannot take seriously, just pointless venting, especially if you know me. Shit, she talks like that.
But no, I'm extremely sick, I'm coughing like I've got whooping sickness or whatever its called, and she tells me we could be splitting up because I'm "always on her nerves."
There are days when I think "Yeah, I could get a gun, it'd be great for home defense, I'd feel more secure having a wife and child to protect with something like a shotgun." And then days like this happen and I know I'd use a weapon on myself if I had one.
I'm almost 25 years old and my entire life has fallen apart irreparably, but I did enough right to taste what a good life could have been. I hope my chest pains the last month or so are indicating heart failure soon. I fucking pray my heart fails. I fucking will it. I beg for it.
>>17023114
I read your post thinking you were an old bitter man but shit.. 25? damn ..
>>17023125
I've worked to pay the bills since I was 15 years old because my father was a deadbeat who couldn't even keep the electricity on. I moved out at 18 and in the last seven years I've lived in nine different places because of problem after problem.
I feel every bit a bitter old man and I'm ready to die like one. I'm not a person who seeks self-harm, I'm just fucking tired. I'm tired of figuring everything out. Of being the sole money maker. Of my relationship. Of being a father. All of it.
i feel awful... my boyfriend thinks im skirting sex bc im sore. which isnt true.. i just feel awful. he almost made me cry i was in so much pain while fucking last night. i feel so horrible . he's so mad at me.......
Since my girlfriend left me my life has completely lost any pattern, I eat bad, go to bed at random hours wake up very early or very late, I have terrible nightmares involving her, I don't want to study (medschool), my life is a shithole.
Feeling kind of bleh. I've been trying to foster a close friendship with this girl I met through work but she is literally always busy and I never get the chance to do anything with her. She takes school way too seriously and during winter and summer breaks she works extra hours to pay for college. Ordinarily this wouldn't bother me so much but she's got a really great personality and I can tell she's someone I want around in my life. Not really sure what I can do to try and become closer friends with her if I never get the chance to spend time with her.
so when i leave you automatically sleep around one me, is that it?
>>17021294
I've been pretty in the middle as of recent, but slowly getting better.
On the plus side I've been going to the gym more. And the personal progress/overcoming the social anxiety has been great. It's only been a week but hey, I feel it in my body.
The negative side is I'm feeling lonely in terms of speaking with the opposite sex. I've shelled out hella cash for dating sites and get not one single reply.
>>17021294
I'm okay. I had to come to court to attempt to get a restraining order against my husband. I get anxiety from being here. I feel I'm going to see him even though it's not possible since he's been avoiding being served. I know that I'm going to have to see him eventually because I don't think the judge is going to let him not be served and grant me the restraining order.
But I guess it could be worse.
Thanks for asking...
a girl that I asked out said no this weekend and I still feel more depressed and hopeless then alot usual. even comfort food and no fap isn't making it any better. I think if it continues, I might find a prostitute on back pages to hug/cuddle for an hour.
>>17021294
Feeling motivated. Set up a job interview and did a lot around the house. Feel like I did enough shit to be classified as human :)
>>17023578
>I might find a prostitute on back pages to hug/cuddle for an hour.
You don't think that's just going to make you feel worse?
Wonder when I stop ghosting around my friends. And also, I wonder when I'll be able to genuinely recognize when I need help, not just dealing alone and swallowing it all like always.
My head kinda hurts today.
Meh I got my long time gf pregnant so things are alright definitely keeping the baby tho and were pushing our wedding closer
Dog hasn't eaten much in the past few days. Started noticing blood in his urine yesterday and he threw up some food he tried to eat this morning before taking him to the vet.
>>17021294
Four days into ssri medication, feeling weird and spaced out and weird. Also concerned about what the side effects may be, and how it will affect my ability to work; I've got a big project due in a few days and shit loads to do. Spent most of today spacing out. Not good... but then again, last week I was spending the time stressing out and still not working. So, yeah. At least I've not had many suicidal thoughts today.
Emotionally I'm a mess.
I'm pleased that things between me and my wife are improving a bit, but worried that my depressive mood and stupid behaviors that accompany it are going to miss her off and drive her away.
I'm desperately sad and lonely and missing a friend of mine that has stopped keeping in touch. I suspect that I drove her away with my needy, clingy behaviour. Although maybe she's just got other stuff going on and is busy. I'm trying to resist the urge to write her a letter because I know that it would be a crazy-person letter.
So, that's today. Things are ok. Well, no, things are shit. But they will get better.
>mfw just had a great workout
>>17021294
I feel like I'm dying, like my life is over. Like no matter how much I work out, no matter how little I eat. No matter how many people I impress, I will never get to have sex. My 19th birthday bearing down on me in a month and a half only makes the near hopelessness worse.
Fucking awful, feel like I need to drink to behave in a way that doesn't completely alienate me from society and the people i hang out with
Also the girl that I'm seeing isn't replying to my texts so that's left me in a state as I really like this girl
In other news ex gf has started talking to me again and is acting like she wants to get back with me
I no longer find any interest in activities which once gave me pleasure and now all I do is go on trips out on my own to avoid completely losing my mind
>>17023638
I've found that ssri's improved my sleeping pattern and caused my general mood to level off i.e. less severe suicidal thoughts. It still comes in waves tho. About your wife, have you spoken to her about this?
>>17023855
Yeah, I've talked with her about pretty much everything. She's great. I'd be lost without her.
Sleep? What's that?
Fingers crossed for some decent sleep one I get used to the pills. Sleep is kinda good.
>>17023893
Why would she be driven away if she understands the situation then?
Sleep should improve, makes me feel semi normal to have a decent sleeping pattern
>>17023950
Don't go getting all logical on me, now.
Just because she understands doesn't mean she won't run out of patience eventually.
But yeah. Things will get better.
>>17021294
Bored. I was sat on the not working list. Went to the bank, had a bunch of credit shit sent around because I just found out credit unions still think I owe a debt from 3 years ago and my account is still flagged, so spent the morning calling for sending out and moving documents around.
Then sent out a bunch of applications to rent a new home with gf. Spent all day waiting for replies and additional documents. Dad got a new comp so gave me his old one. I'm in the middle of cleaning it up, so waiting for that to finish. Also waiting for tomorrow's work list to see if im dispatched.
TL;dr spent most of my day laying in bed waiting for shit. Waiting.. Waiting.. Waiting.. So lethargic.
>>17021294
I'm doing okay. Almost off work. Mom's house for a moment and then gym. Huzzah.
I'm 21 times around the sun and living the seemingly perfect life. I hate a qt. gf who's into BDSM big time, job that pays me over 3000+ per month while I can still go to university full time. I'm in the financial position to save for the retirement, which I do, saving 150e per month. I have an excellent apartment near the city center with tremendously cheap rent, considering size and location.
Yet I'm unhappy. I hate my job but it pays too well and it employs, even in this economy. Every single hour working fills me up with anxiety and shitty feels. I'm studying a major where is good job prospects but it's still too close to my current work - I work in private security. I work, I study and that leaves little time for anything else. Luckily I have my girlfriend or otherwise I'd consider suicide.
Thing is, this combination have been on and on for over 6 months now and I can't take it anymore. I even got a new job in the same private security field to make it easier but didn't. Same shit, different package. I've beginning to lose faith in life and I'm not sure if there's a bright future ahead for me. Or any future at all.
My family is all in for my current situation, always speaking how I'm so good so I can work and study at the same time. Really I'm too stressed and I'm thinking whether or not I have a depression of sorts. I just don't know what to do.
Sorry if wrong thread, I just didn't see anything better. Not exactly looking for help, just wanted to get something off my chest.
>>17024295
This is very obviously mental illness.
It happens. Go to a doctor. This could honestly be as simple as an underactive thyroid or malfunctioning chemical production.
Enough progress, discovery and treatment has been made you can even skip the sit on the couch tell me about your dad therapists and go straight to a physician.
It seriously is this simple, man. Sorry you can't see it because society is a bunch of fags and scream dumbass shit like "willpower!" And "all in your head!". It's every bit as physiological as a weak colon.
Doctor with you.
I feel good. I had sushi and oyster. I did my errands and enjoying my day off and enjoying the fact I got time to relax nap and have a great week.
HAMMEREDDDDDDDDX
>>17024326
You know how damn hard it is to admit that? That I can be mentally ill? Not even saying that I am, but even the mere possibility is enough.
>>17021294
Pretty good. Got shit down and got help in studies.
>>17024346
It's not possible. It's certain. It's like saying "I have a cold." Dude this is the problem and why everyone's all up in a hubbub.
Something in your body, whether it's your digestive system, your thyroid or a couple neurons in your brain, stopped working properly. That is all.
People make a huge deal about it because this is our generations "the earth is round, not flat."
You aren't retarded, crazy or fucked up. Your engines not working. A doctor will fix it, be it with pills, exercise, or diet change.
I cannot stress enough how normal, common, and non chalant it is. If people around you don't get it they're fuckin dumb as shit.
>>17024480
Funny how this ''''''''''''''''''''illness'''''''''''''''''''''''' is most prevalent in western degenerate capitalistic societies
of course the only cure is to BUY it ;)
Good goyim
Broke up my first relationship recently with no contact because my partner slowly changed and became abusive over the past two months. Miss him like hell but trying to stay strong and not relapse and contact him.
Constantly feeling okay one moment, crying like hell the next. So, not so great.
>>17021294
Fuckin terrible anon, thanks for asking
I'm currently having an anxiety attack. I have an essay I need to write.
>>17024499
Because taking a biochemistry analysis, and finding heightened levels of lithium in *all* people with borderline personality disorder, heightened levels of adrenaline in *all* people with anxiety disorders, and scanning a brain and finding specific areas lagging and slow in *all* people with clinical depression can't possibly mean anything.
It happens all the time. Everyone has some kind of fuckup in their wiring at some point. It's a simple illness. Depression itself isn't considered clinical and needing treatment until 6 months of symptoms because it's generally known to go away on its own.
The problem is people in all countries (Western included) are taught to shutup about it, and scorned for making any mention.
Just because we made the discoveries and advances, doesn't mean we're somehow plagued. Just that we have moved forward.
The anon to whom I'm replying may need nothing more than a daily jog, or a pill for a few weeks.
This isn't some fairy tale monster in the closet. It is the current pinnacle of understanding of evolutionary biology, and the brain as a fundamental, measurable and understandable system.
The whole thing is a machine and a computer in one. It is a logical concept that is easy to understand if you just stop closing your ears and start paying attention.
>>17024637
The human mind is not a computer nor a machine
It makes irrational and illogical conclusions
Humans are not logical machines that need corrections to ensure functionality
Thank you for sharing your complete misunderstanding of your own existence
I'm not denying the existence of the possibility of a biochemical issue but your arrogance on matters you have zero understanding of really shows how immature you are
It is 11:30am and im yet to get out of bed. Im not feeling all that good.
Pretty happy as every day.
Disappointed in myself not getting around to writing though. I always get ideas for fiction to write, but never get around to putting anything down other than the initial notes.
You know, I think I'm doing well today.
Life has been looking up lately, and I'm not really sure why since I haven't changed much, but I just feel more secure and in the moment. Less of that in the head stuff that normally fucks me up. Hell, I may even ask this girl out somewhere, but that doesn't even matter much to me.
I lost my best friend. I'm feeling about as bad as possible.
>>17024712
Better go find them : ^ )
>>17021294
I am so, so afraid that I have MS.
After having taken a powerful round of antibiotics 2 weeks ago, I have had intense pressure and heaviness in my head, dizziness, and tingling/numbness in my hands. I also feel pressure and heaviness in my arms.
I have a neurologist appointment scheduled for a week from today. I'm afraid I might have a brain tumor or MS. I'm an otherwise healthy 23yo male.
Could this be anxiety? How worried should I be?
All I can do now is wait.
I'm so, so scared.
Any thoughts????? please help
>>17024739
Maybe reach out to an MS community (not an official one, something like a message board) and describe your symptoms, see what they say.
Fuck it. Totally not worth the effort.
>>17021294
I keep saying/telling myself I'm alright and coping but I know when I'm beat, and I think I may need a helping hand to deal with my growing depression and possible mental health problems. I don't want to go to a doctor though because then if I get prescribes depression meds I can't buy a gun in my country
I'm not feeling too good today. Usually I'm too busy with work to realize how lonely I am, but I'm off this week so I'm probably going to fall into one of the horrible depressions I have a few times a year.
Shit day. I might regret some of the decisions I'm making today, but at this point it really doesn't make much of a difference
Din't talk to one girl
Started noticing another girl
Don't know who to go for
If girl one doesn't make a move, going for girl two.
>>17021794
This reads like a spoiled-ass bitch who's watched one too many horror movies in his NEET time.
Take a nap, son.
Tense. But I'm doing better today, I guess. I'm finally gaining ground against my depression. It feels like I've been sleeping all my life, I can finally wake up. I've noticed, I have more self control now than ever before in my life, I'm slowly getting to the point I can form thoughts like everyone else now.
My lover just told me we're done, but I'm ok. I just have to figure my life out.
Frustrated because I can't figure out if he's interested. I'm over being lonely.
Can depressing come in waves? It seems for a week every few months I don't even want to leave my bed. I get irritated and isolate my self.
Also how often is thinking about suicide too often?
If in the military should I seek help or will I just get a discharge?
I am fine. Just caught some sickness from my kid, but generally there's nothing to complain about. :-)
>>17024886
Make a move on him. Guys are usually the ones who get all the pressure to make all the moves, but I firmly believe that many women would be happy if they went after a guy they liked. Of course, you'd have to be burdened with making a decent approach and being proactive, and risking rejection, but there's no reason you can't do any of those things. Go for it.
>>17023638
You can't entirely control whether or not somebody leaves you, but it wouldn't hurt you or your relationship to make some strides. If she's still with you then you don't need to 'worry', just don't get complacent and think you can take her for granted or that you should stop trying.
>>17023635
Oh god, I'm sorry man. I know how hard this is. :\
>>17023609
Awesome on the job interview, congrats!
>>17023199
I've dealt with these busy girls before. Many people will tell you that being busy is just an excuse, which may or may not be true. I wouldn't take it personally and assume she's blowing you off, but don't settle for a friendship/possible future relationship with someone who doesn't make the time for you that you need. In the mean time, don't close yourself off to meeting other people, either.
>>17023177
Sorry that she left you my man, it's never a positive feeling. Time will heal all wounds, just don't give up on everything and be good to yourself right now.
>>17023146
I'm sorry to hear that but he sounds like an ass, why don't you stand up to him or leave him?
>>17023082
This is never easy. I've been through this many times where a girl would just gun for me because she couldn't have the guy she wanted, or worse, it was getting complicated between them. I never felt good when this happened, she would always be half-invested in our relationship and I quickly grew tired of not getting the time or attention I expect from someone who's committed to working things out with me. Believe me, it's for the best if he's out of your life now, you deserve better than that.
>>17023001
I call what you've described the burden of performance. It can be very overwhelming and I realize how draining it is at times. A lot of this pressure may just be in your head, for a variety of reasons. Considering relaxing the standards you or others put on yourself, and see if you can't "get away" with being a normal, imperfect, human being sometimes. I know the drawback is feeling rejected or judged by other people, but that's their problem, not yours.
I was talking to someone on the phone and they kept telling me how brave and strong I am. Felt pretty depressing desu. I'm not doing too bad right now but that's because I'm shitposting and not really thinking about life.
Cannot think properly. These pills are fucking shit.
kill me
Crippled by self doubt. Ex broke up with my little over 2 months ago and I've only just realized my mistakes. I waited to long to try and patch things up and its eating me alive.
>>17024896
Military is shit. They like to ignore and cover up that shit. You're better of seeking a professional off base if you can.
I don't know this feel I'm feeling.
>meet girl through friends
>hot, good values, lots of things I like about her
>also a few things I do not like, like she's a foreigner, does not speak English natively, is slightly older than me
>express our mutual interest before I had intended to probe her for that, I wasn't ready to date, so we did a weird friend thing where we were getting to know each other
>did that for 3 weeks but neither of us liked it, which I found out when I asked her to stop doing that and just be friends
>we agreed but I said I was afraid we might not be able to come back from that
>fast forward a month to tonight
>call her up and say I'm ready to date, like what I see, etc
>she says she lost interest in me as soon as I suggested the semi-dating thing since I wasn't paying enough attention to her and so she felt her interest die out
>admits she thinks I'm great, likes everything about me, but blames poor timing and my lack of feeding our relationship for killing her interest
tl;dr a girl I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to date at first but later wanted to turned me down. I'm upset, hurt, and sad, but not as much as I think I should be.
I don't know what I feel
Suicidal. A close friend of mine and a fellow musician was found dead this morning in the basement of the apartment complex he lived in after been missing for 2 days . What makes it evn more disgusting is he was only 20 and they found him with duct tape around his whole head meaning it was probably murder.For what you may ask? No he didn't do drugs and he was a happy and friendly guy who had to die because his music expressed something that the scum of the country I live in don't like. Fucking disgusting. Why live in a world like this why believe in any hope when those who only do good end up like this for choosing to voice their opinions. That's all I guess I'm just disgusted by this shithole we call our world. I've been clean for some time now but I guess I'll go get some coke so I don't end myself hope you guys never see the world the way I see it.
My head feels stupid and fuzzy. This happens a lot the day after ECT, which I had about fourteen hours ago.
>>17026058
I hope you feel better, anon. If you keep feeling suicidal, it might mean your friend's suicide triggered depression in you, and seeing a psychiatrist would be a solid plan -- though of course only time will tell.
>> thanks for the heads up but I have problems with psychiatrist and all shrinks since I was a kid due to some mental issues I won't discuss and he didn't commit suicide I'm sure of that .Another friend of his told me that they were going to a concert the night he disappeared and the disceased now friend of mine called them he can't go cus he has some problem and just hung up the phone. On top of that I don't think that even if he would commit suicide it would be by wrapping duct tape over his whole face. Will see what the autopsy comes out with and if the cops find something out but I'm sure it was murder judging from what the investigators told us by now. Other thing is if it was suicide they wouldint hide so many details around the investigation.
Not too well. I don't have the motivation to do well in school anymore. Everything I do or accomplish feels like a waste. I can't even find joy in my retarded hobbies anymore. I have no friends to talk about these things with. I just feel like driving off a cliff.
I'm not feeling very well
Its being one of those days in wich you sleep a lot more than you need because you're not in the mood for anything else. Gladly, later i have to attend classes, so i'll go with a lot of time so i can just take a long walk
My love life is lacking. At the end of this month it will be a year since the last time i saw my ex gf. Thats nothing really bad. I still hold feelings towards my ex: resentments and a thirst for revenge. Its hard not to feel like that when you become overnight absolutely dead for that person you loved so much. I shouldn't wish her worse since she's pretty much fucked. She's a shitty person, loaded with money but empty inside, unable to love anyone but herself.
I just wanna be happy on my own, /adv/, and i swear sometimes i'm close to that. But i still feel that anger. And all i wish is to leave this city and go far, far away and start again
I haven't fell in love again. Not that i resist that, i just not meeting anyone new that makes me grasp that feeling. I miss it, but if its not happening maybe its for the best
Atleast my social life is improving a lot. I'm making new friends, people that make me feel wanted.
Rest is lacking, i don't kbow how to actively fix it
>>17024880
>>17024880
Doing better today and I figured things out with my lover. Hope it works out.
Weird. It's strange to realize that I just really can't function without my meds.
Not great. My one year contract isn't being renewed for reasons which all seem a bit vague to me, something about 'not making the required progress', yet my last assessment gave very good feedback and no one has explicitly said in recent months there were concerns so great that renewal was unlikely.
Today is an okay day. Could be better tho.
Really nice weather outside, but my sa makes me stay inside :(
>>17023635
We left him overnight with the vet so they could run some tests. Got a call earlier that he passed away.
>>17026997
Aw, I'm sorry, anon. I hope you feel better soon, though from experience that it can take some time -- I had a dog who suddenly and unexpectedly died, too. :(
Job interview in one hour. I feeling quite optimistic. I haven't felt optimistic in a very long time.... Slightly nervous too.
>>17021294
I'm ok.
i've been lonely for the past few days which has turned into this sort of apathetic feeling, probably as a subconscious defense mechanism.
I'm sure it will go away when I see my friends this weekend.
In the meantime I really should find a video game or anime to pass the time and preoccupy my emotions
I feel paranoid as fuck. It must be the stress and anxiety. I also did something incredibly stupid that I will never forgive myself because of my paranoia and feel like I could die of shame.
Awful, hopeless, desperate. My carreer is fine, yet my personal/social life is a disaster. I have social anxiety and I'm terrified of developing deep relations with people, I'm a boring person, my love life is nonexistent, I'm 17 and I have no clue how I'm going to lose my virginity. My free time is spent either by sitting in my room playing video games, working out in hope that it'll change anything or getting drunk with fake friends. I don't remember being anyone's first choice ever in this lifetime. Time just flies, I remember summer ending like it was yesterday, I dread it because I've been clinging to nostalgia to keep me alive, but it's getting further from me each day.
Ok today. Day five: side effects seem to be predictable. Lots of nausea all morning. Feeling high and distracted a couple of hours later. Feeling sleepy another couple of hours later after that. Appetite really missing all day, which should help me lose some weight at least.
Didn't get much useful done at work. That's a big source of stress. Right now I'm calm, but I expect I'll be anxious tomorrow morning again. Stupid brain. Why you no do what I want?
Feeling reserved. I've been keeping everything bottled in lately ever since the thing with the crush didn't go my way. I don't know what to do, just feel like I'm in a state of pause looking for a way to go
>>17027046
>17
>career
hook me up. im 23 and about to graduate uni
get me a job and ill get you all the pussy you want
