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I tried to repeat myself rational formulas and lines (like "there's nothing more i can do about it" "it's no use beating myself up for things" "thinking about this changes nothing outside" etc.), but it's almost like i always need to think and obsess over something negative in my life.
Even when my life doesn't have real problems, i come up with a silly and stupid one, but i give that "problem" too much value and importance. To give you an example, i cried because a ship (pairing two fictional characters) i like will never become canon, and i'm male. This isn't a big deal at all rationally, but right now it's like that ship is the most important thing in my world.
I'm trying to distract myself trying different stuff, but i don't have a "passion" (be it a hobby, a job or a relationship) in life that takes my mind, so i always go back to the current obsession or problem, and i feel miserable even when i'm doing other stuff like studying.
Thanks in advance for any help, try to be as detailed as possible.
Bumpan
>>16999404
i wish i could help but when it comes to 'i cried cuz my ships will never be canon' there isnt anything anyone can really say other than get over it.
the best we can offer is the advice to get therapy and talk it out more.
>>16999404
You need to move on, and for lack of better words "grow up"
When it comes to the emotional waves of human beans, everything is relative. Right now, not much of any real importance is happening in your life, yet relatively speaking, your emotions have adapted to this fact, and you are creating drama over things that people with a higher level of maturity see as ridiculous and absurd.
You're mind is affixing values to experiences that most of adult society would consider childish and insignificant. This is simply because you are not taking on the greater responsibilities of adulthood, for one reason or another. It may be your fault, it may not... that is irrelevant to the point... -- the point being that you need to move your life in a direction that will give you experience in dealing with greater trials and tribulations.
Your self-esteem is likely low. You fear rejection (in all ways). The only way to learn to overcome this is by dealing with it more. Practice makes perfect, afterall.
>>16999804
How do i start taking greater responsabilities then?
Since i fear rejection, i don't put myself in situations where i could be rejected or not accepted, but i'm tired of suffering.
I am completely aware that i am acting like a baby, but how do i overcome this huge resistance to take responsability in life, one step at a time? Fear paralyzes me or makes me second-guess everything, my self-esteem is kinda low only during "impacts" (first impressions, new situations), once the impact is over i'm actually charismatic and loved.
In short, how do i stop fearing growing up?
>>16999765
I'm already in therapy, and i did some great progress given where i started from (2 years now, and my therapist says i've made huge and rapid progress since i was very collaborative and smart).
However, now my therapist says it's one of the last "steps" of the therapeutic journey, and it takes patience (and a bland anti-depressant and ansiolitic) while overcoming it.
Also thanks dudes,you seem to know your shit, so i hope you are still reading.
>>17000002
still here, though i wouldnt say i know my shit, this particular thing is just how life works.
Look into metta (loving kindness) meditation. I can give guided metta link that is very good if you want.
>>17000080
Any help is appreciated man, so the link surely can't hurt.
I also need to be less demanding of myself, but i guess it all comes around to what >>16999804
said and the fears linked to it. That's also why i put self-acceptance as the thread's topic, i feel like it's the key to finally stop judging myself and taking responsability in life.
>>17000095
Stream:
http://www.audiodharma.org/talks/audio_player/44.html
Download:
http://www.audiodharma.org/teacher/1/talk/44/20010906-Gil_Fronsdal-IMC-guided_metta.mp3
Listen to it and I think you'll understand the benefit. He talks about metta for a few minutes before starting the meditation.
>>17000120
Listening right now, and it seems great for me, especially the part about finding hints of a wish for life and slowly watering this seed.
>>17000154
If you find it helpful there are countless resources on metta. Books, sermons, college courses. You could literally dedicate your life to metta and I promise you would reach your goal- and then some!
Good luck, OP :)
May you be happy.
