Abortion
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
I'm 20 years old and a few months ago I had an abortion on Valentines Day. I would have kept it but my SO didn't want it so I did what I thought was best. We're in a LDR at the moment. It all happened so quick and ever since then I've been an emotional wreck. I can't talk to my boyfriend about this since he pretty much lacks empathy and just doesn't understand why I could be upset about it, I get why though. I'm not doing great in college anymore and I just feel so alone. At the time of the abortion I was in his city and before I left I tried to commit suicide by overdose since we got into a heated argument and told me I killed this baby for a stupid reason. I had never felt so low in my life. I don't know what to do now. What should my next step be? I'm lost.. and I just wish to be a happy girl again.
A therapist? They exist to help people in rough times (including me).
Therapist for sure. You are not alone.
You're going to help an emotional wreck because you got and abortion and your pregnancy hormones are still in your system. This is experience is traumatic enough to some people and still being loaded on the hormones doesn't help. You need to seek help, but most of all you need to either get rid of the boyfriend or fix the relationship but to keep it sounds like a very toxic relationship. I mean really what would happen if it happened again? You chose that time not to abort? I'm sorry if i sound conflicted or mean but i truly am sorry for your lose but honestly I'm happy you didn't have it so you can truly see what a terrible person your partner has been towards all this. Please seek help and reevaluate your partner, I don't think this relationship is very healthy to start with.
>>16998032
you really need therapy and a better boyfriend. a real partner would be there for you right now, this guy is no good.
>>16998131
Agree 100%
>>16998032
Ditch your boyfriend. Go to church and repent. Stop doing stuff like this.
>>16998032
I'm so sorry for you, anon. I also think you should talk to a therapist. It can be hard to find one you click with, but when you do it's a tremendous, tremendous relief. Human beings need real, caring interactions. Don't be afraid of actively searching for one you feel you can trust, either, because there's absolutely no stigma about it, and it's something that you need. Also anon, you sound like a good person who made a bad mistake. It's in the past, it's already done, and you shouldn't be thinking about punishing yourself over it. You've hurt yourself, and in order to heal you're going to need an empathetic person to talk to. That's how we heal, and that's how toxic emotions are released, simply through the mechanism of two people talking. One other point anon, and please don't take this the wrong way. That is, you're only twenty years old, and it's now known that the human brain isn't fully developed until roughly around the age of twenty-five. And if you've messed around with drugs or alcohol, you'd probably need to tack on a few additional years. I mention it just to underline how crucial a good therapist is for you.
http://www.cdc.gov/Features/PreventingSuicide/?source=govdelivery
You can seek therapy all you want, but there's no changing the fact that you killed your own child because you didn't want to take responsibility for your actions.
Honestly you should feel like shit for something like this, but it's not as if moping around or killing yourself is going to make up for what you've done. Go out a do something to help people or a similar goal, maybe you won't be a "happy girl" again, but that's because actions, especially those which permanently impact lives, have consequences that can't always be so easily run from.
>>16998214
oh shut up you imbecile
>>16998219
Looks like the pro-abortioners win again.
>>16998032
Sorry to hear that, anon. It sounds like the right decision: how could you take care of a child right now?
You will heal, but you'll likely always remember it.
Talk to a therapist, if you're on 4chan you don't have a good girl friend you can talk to.
>my SO didn't want it so I did what I thought was best
>told me I killed this baby for a stupid reason
He would have been a terrible parent and if you'd kept the baby he would have literally made the rest of your life more difficult.
>he pretty much lacks empathy and just doesn't understand why I could be upset about it
He's too immature to understand what you've just been through. I think you made the right decision, but you need support from someone. Most people your age would have difficulty knowing what to do/think in this situation. Your college might have like a professional therapist or something you can see for free. If not, maybe see the general physician and ask them what to do or who to see.
>>16998230
Sadly no, I have a few friends but they'really not very close. I see a family therapist with my family but I'll definitely go see me college therapist.
>>16998271
Yeah. He told me right after that he'll forever sleep like a baby after this and he'd do it 100 times more if he had to. It hurt a lot to hear this but I just listened and didn't argue.
>>16998283
Yeah, sorry to hear about that too anon. It's not an easy decision for any woman, don't let female comics joking about their 10th abortion steer you wrong.
But what's done is done, this should sober you up to make better choices in the future about sex and relationships.
Don't let this sour you though; you'll grow and eventually it will be a part of your past, not your present like it is now.
It might be your choice, but not one said it was an easy one or painless.
You are empathetic, that's actually a good sign for you even though it's causing you pain. Eventually you can use that same empathy for love.
Good luck, anon.
