Do I stay or go?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice
First things first I love my gf I'll make that clear. I've been with her for over a year and have not had a fight or argument. Our sex life is amazing, we tell each other everything when we are stressed out, or upset about anything. She is kind, funny, smart. We like so many of the same things, think the same way. Literally the best thing that I can say has every happened to me. I've been so lucky to have been her sweetheart. I'm nothing special, to be honest I'm kinda clinical about life, and she's managed to form this one tender light of hope for me. And I cannot bear to hurt her, I have this lack of substance in our relationship that nags me constantly. The fact that we are so similar, we have the same Ideas and views about life. We don't argue about anything. Most people would see it as a perfect mach, but I feel as though I'm starring into a female mirror. Not in any incest way though don't get it twisted. I'm almost getting bored with how the same we are, and I desire a challenge, someone I can really mentally fight with. Someone that will challenge my beliefs. My connection with her though strong and sweet, lacks that. I've talked to her about it and she obliviously was able to understand my problem, and asked me what I wanted to do about it. I brought up the thought of breaking up. I could see that it bothered her to hear that. I told her I still want to stay friends, because she one of the few I still have and trust the most. Do I leave her, or just stay and prey this nagging feeling fades?
The grass isn't greener if that's what you're thinking
>>16997436
This. OP, you're literally asking for a relationship with an incompatible bitch who will argue with you all the time. What even.
>>16997436
This, me and I'm sure many guys wish We had it as easy as you OP
Stick with her OP, trust me that "I want a girl who will challenge me" shit gets old VERY fast
>>16997444
>>16997449
Yeah, my guy friends say the same thing
>>16997455
Personal experience?
>>16997402
Dude, if this girl really is as great as you say, don't just throw that away for nothing. There are plenty of people out there who will stimulate you mentally, it doesn't have to be your girlfriend. I don't know why you'd want to be in some sort of confrontational relationship anyway, I did that for a bit and it was awful.
>>16997402
Listen to the people telling you the grass isn't greener. It really isn't. A girl who constantly challenges you is just a bitch who wants to change you. If you found a girl who you're on the same wavelength with, hold onto it for dear life because that it so rare.
It's a shame you brought up breaking up to her. Women are like elephants, she's going to have that rolling around in her head constantly now. Apologize and pray that you didn't irreparably fuck things up.
You're lacking a challenge in life, not in your girlfriend. You aren't going to find challenges in other people (and if you do, they will more than likely be unhealthy).
If you want a 'challenge', then take up challenging hobbies. Hike a mountain, go sky diving, run until you're exhausted, then push yourself just a few feet further. If your beliefs on life are boring to you then read blogs or books that have completely different views and see if you can understand their views and accept them.
Whatever it is you're seeking right now, no ones stopping you from getting it. Your girlfriend also CANNOT POSSIBLY like EVERYTHING you like, that just means you guys haven't tried enough knew things. Go on vacation and try new foods and sports, play competive games with her that one of you have to be the winner, not both.
If you still find yourself unsatisfied, see a goddamn therapist because that means that you have a problem being ok and just being happy without unconsciously looking for something to be wrong.
Go ahead and break up if that's what you feel like you must do, but I don't think your girl is the problem. I think it's something in yourself.
>>16997573
The last thing I want to do it hurt her.
>>16997551
I suppose you're right.
>>16997584
This. Seek the external challenge, your wonderful girlfriend will help you through it given you two are alike
you dont give yourself enough credit.
and then you give her/your feelings too much credit.
if you dont like you, focus on fixing you. but you cant claim to be this nothing special of a person, then say that she is your mirror twin but somehow uber special
>>16997584
I am very well aware that this thing is all my fault. She's done nothing wrong, and does her best to keep me the happiest I can be. All my stress sits on me. I take full responsibility for what happenes.
>>16997645
Nothing in my post was attacking or blaming you for anything anon, you are doing that yourself. You came here seeking advice, so I gave you the best advice that I am able to.
The way you just responded to that though points to some deeper issues with you blaming yourself for things or having a difficult time being ok and happy. Look into that. Watch your behaviours as you go throughout your day and question yourself why you act the way you do to certain situations.
>>16997645
Holy shit you sound like an insufferable retard.
You should just kill yourself, you'll never EVER be happy.
>>16997700
Oh shut the fuck up anon. If he wants to he can and will change.
I hope you don't talk to your momma with that mouth, I'd slap you straight if you were my child.
>>16997700
I don't believe in suicide. Literally not even an option unless I'm diagnosed with some terminal disease. I'm rather not allow my family and friends suffer seeing me waste away to nothing.
>>16997707
I intend on bettering myself. Not just for me, but for her as well.
