What does this mean?
First off, I'm in uni, and I don't have many friends because of my poor social skills and lack of initiative to improve my own life.
Lately I've noticed something that hasn't occurred before. Usually when walking places (to class, to go eat somewhere) when people look at me, I look away/avoid eye contact and ignore them. But now when I notice people looking at me I just get mad. Very mad. If someone continues to look at me after a few seconds, I'm really pissed and I do whatever I need to to get away from them.
Is it because I'm just mad I have no friends or something?
I get sort of this way when I'm feeling particularly depressed.
When people look at me when I'm going through a period of depression/agoraphobia it makes me fucking miserable. I feel like they can sense how dysfunctional and sad I am and they're just gawking out of pity.
It's paranoia. Try to get to the root of what you're feeling. What about people looking at you makes you angry? Do you think they're judging you?
>>16995427
I think they're judging me and thinking that I'm ugly or weird or awkward or making some other generalization and I get mad because I think "fuck you, you're just like everybody else" which leads to me not wanting to be around other people and then not having friends, and then being lonely and wanting friends, and the cycle starts again.
At least this is how I can piece it together as of now.
>>16995443
The most liberating thing you can do is realize that people aren't focusing on you.
Think about it. Are you staring at people you walk by and making judgments about them? Or are you just looking at nothing in particular and they're just standing there? People are probably doing the same and just looking at you quickly and not thinking anything about you at all.
This is something a good counselor can help you out with very easily. You should look into your university's resources.
>>16995451
Ok, thanks for the advice. I don't know if I feel comfortable talking to a counselor, because I don't even feel comfortable talking to my parents about it, but who knows. I might seek one out if the situation doesn't improve.
>>16995416
You imagine they're looking at you and thinking "What a loser"
In fact, though, they are probably not looking at you at all, but at something behind you that you happened to walk in front of.
And they are almost certainly NOT thinking anything about you at all. Most people are too self-centered or just have other things on their mind, to give any thought at all to people they happen to pass on the street. (Think for a moment about your last walk from A to B. How many of the dozens of people you passed were you even aware of? How many can you remember now?
In an odd way, paranoia is the ultimate egotism, because it assumes everyone is thinking about you.
They're not.
